4 Important Keys to Make Him Fall In Love

hi in this video I'm gonna share four important keys to make him fall in love with you hi ladies Matt Schaefer your empowerment connection and relationship coach here I'm a former attorney who's committed his life to supporting you in creating this sort of fun fulfilling dynamic connections and relationships with men that you're so worthy of and I'm really excited about today's topic we're gonna be diving into four important things you can do and you can be right now that are gonna help you become irresistible to great men and help them fall in love with you but before we do take a second hit that little subscribe button and don't forget to click that link in the comments and caption I have created some awesome training that's gonna make a huge difference in your connections and relationships with men but let's dive into this y'all because I hear it from my clients and my students all the time I want a man to fall in love with me I'm craving that loving intimacy with a man and what I love to guide them back to you is the nature of that word fall and I want you to visualize right if you want a man to fall in love with you I want you to think about like he's diving into a pool or he's diving into a river or the ocean you represent that to him because honestly for a lot of men emotional intimacy is it's a real plunge it really is a leap into the unknown and so I'm gonna share with you four principles that are gonna help entice a man to want to dive in heart first so I want to start off by sharing you the important key of all of this ladies it's that if you want a man to fall for you you get to give him something to fall into right and that's what these four principles are all about now the first key is he needs a clear target so he knows where to jump think about it you wouldn't dive into water if it was pitch dark outside right otherwise you might end up base planning on the shore and then it's the same way with man and emotional intimacy a man wants to feel that he hears and sees and understands you fully before he's really gonna feel comfortable stepping into emotional intimacy with you so how do we create that for a man well we start off by setting boundaries from the very beginning with him positive proactive boundaries about how want to be treated what you're into what you're not into it is not masculine for you to set boundaries with a man it's actually very feminine and it's actually a very high-value thing so don't be afraid to let a man know I love this I don't love that that's all part of your frame okay and your frame is an incredibly important part of what you're showing to a man it is your outline of who you are and I've talked about it and a lot of videos I'll put some links to those in the description but you want to make sure that a man has a full understanding of all the different facets of who you are as he's getting to know you because that's really giving him that sense of shape of who you are what your personality is it's gonna make him feel safe and confident to want to move forward with you so it's important to check in with yourself if a man isn't moving forward with you emotionally and ask yourself have I been showing up fully to him have I held my frame have I let him know my preferences what I like and what I don't like have I been setting positive proactive boundaries with him from the very beginning and am I doing it now or am i door matting pretzeling and doing all those things that women do that actually lower their value and really make a man feel like he doesn't really understand who they are and if a man doesn't understand you he's not going to want to fall in love with you and principle two is a man needs to see and feel your depth before he's gonna take that leap I mean if you didn't know how deep water was you wouldn't just dive into it would you know it'd be dangerous same thing with men taking the emotional plunge if there's no depth that they can see an experience within you or in the relationship they're not gonna want to go further into it so how can you show your depth to men well one powerful way is the quality of your questions are you asking surface level daily report questions or are you going deeper are you asking him questions that touch on his passions are you asking him questions that get him to tell stories are you really getting to know him better and getting to understand the nuances with him through your questions or are you just trying to keep a conversation going maybe because you're feeling insecure about him and about the relationship there's so many powerful feminine ways of being that are going to help you demonstrate to a man or death like being curious being mysterious being present being open being surrendered it's amazing it will put a link of those ways of being and a lot of other ones down in the description so you can go through and ask yourself which of these is authentic to me and then you can start embodying them in your relationship which I guarantee you will deepen it and the third and probably the most important way to establish depth in your relationship with a guy is through your vulnerability so what does that mean right it means that you are the conductor of the emotional and communicative aspects of your relationship you are the one setting the stage for how deep things are gonna go and through your example of your vulnerability you're showing him what it means to be in relationship you're showing him what it means to connect so if you want him to be vulnerable if you want him to be deep with you if you want him to dive into you heart first and be vulnerable with you you get to demonstrate that you get to be an ownership of your feelings and share them with him and ask him about his inspire and invite him to be vulnerable with you he's looking for this he's looking to you for guidance like the little musician in the symphony and you're the conductor right he's looking to you for guidance on what that looks like what that feels like and how to do it remember men don't have as much emotional agency as women in general so it's up to you to sort of like create that depth through leading by example third key to inspire a man to want to dive into you emotionally is to make sure he knows and understands that the water is warm enough think about it if you were gonna dive into a stream or into a lake or anywhere right if the water was cold and you knew it was cold well how would you feel you feel anxious you'd feel that resistance like oh god I don't know if I can do this even if you even if you want to do it you're gonna have resistance around it well you've got to remember that men have resistance to emotional intimacy a lot of times just by default right because of the conditioning that we've undergone throughout much of our lives so one of the greatest ways you can sort of like help offset that is by letting them know and understand that you were a warm inviting place for them to land emotionally men are craving emotional safety from you just as much as you're craving physical safety from them so this is one of the best ways for you to do that and one of the most important ways to show up warmly to a man and invite him to dive in is to cater to his love languages so often with my clients and students I find that they have unnecessary conflict because they're simply not taking into consideration the love languages of the other person you just assume that because your love languages may be words of affirmation and access service right you assume that his are the same and I almost guarantee you that they're not for most men well it's 80% of men physical touch is a primary love language so I want you to ask yourself are you touching him in a warm inviting way that can be one of the biggest things you can do to help invite a man to lower his walls and connect with you deeper I mean for me personally touches a huge love language for me and getting a good head massage or just a good back rub with you know nails forget about it I'm done I become a puddle right and so really like finding out a man's love languages can be absolutely essential so if it's touch figure out where he likes to be touched and how he likes to be touched I'm not even speaking sexually right although that's obviously that's a component but what other ways does he like to be casually lovingly touched and caressed by you and you can ask him or he can just start experimenting and trying him different areas and sort of read his body language to see if he moves into you if you feel him relaxed that's a great way to establish warmth with a guy or if his love languages acts of service you could wake him up with breakfast in bed or something else that he loves you know be creative with it but you want to bridge that gap and ask him these questions and do some exploration with them because that's gonna help create that warmth and familiarity that really he's craving and another powerful way to create warmth with a man is to praise him for what he's doing the masculine is actively craving acknowledgement from the feminine for what it's creating and doing out in the world and there's a very specific formula I want you to use to do that with you want to anchor your acknowledgement in a personal positive feeling statement it's very simple formula you basically go I insert positive feeling statement the way you insert his action right so I love the way you look at me I feel so safe when you hold me like that I respect the way you pursue your vision with your work or out in the world and I want you to understand why this is so powerful because men often identify themselves by their actions by their work by the results and so when you acknowledge that when you let him know that what he's doing is making you feel great it's so empowering to him so if you want to create warmth if you want to create passion with a guy it's one of the best things you can do and the fourth key to getting a man to dive in heart first is to ensure that the current is calm and smooth would you want to go swimming if there was a storm outside and the waves were whipping around that it was all chaotic absolutely not well we want to look at the emotional climate of your relationship and ask yourself is this a safe calm environment that a man's gonna want to invest more in bottom line ladies if you want a man to fall for you your dominant emotional setpoint can't be unstable or turbulent so what is your dominant emotional setpoint well really it's your default emotions it's the emotions that you operate from most of the time one of the biggest ways to identify your dominant emotional setpoint is to check in with yourself when you wake up before you've had a lot of events of the world come crashing in on you and ask yourself how do I feel what's my resting emotional state that's an important way to recognize it also look at the feelings that you default to when the unexpected happens like do you automatically shift into anger or frustration or fear or overwhelm or anxiety do you shutdown if those are the emotions that you're constantly going back to especially when it comes to the unknowns and unexpected in your relationship it's not going to be very encouraging to a man it's not going to be enticing to him and make him want to dive in and take the plunge with you and one of the biggest factors in your dominant emotional setpoint that I want you to look at is how you talk to yourself your inner dialogue is so profoundly important and I know for a lot of us myself included sometimes you know we can be our own biggest critics right we can be bullies to ourselves in the way that we talk to ourselves in the way that we judge ourselves and if you think that you're hiding that from the world you're wrong your inner dialogue is painted on your face your inner dialogue is showing up in your body it's showing up in the way that you connect with people out in the world including and most importantly with the person you're in a relationship with or the people that you're looking to get to know right so it brings to mind a phrase that I've heard often in my life and that I share with my clients and students treat yourself like someone you love remember look at how you love others the selfless unconditional way that you love your children or your family your mother and father and ask yourself am i treating myself with that same level of patience with that same level of grace with that same sort of just unconditional loving this and if I'm not it's time to shift that conversation because this is a very very very very important point another person cannot love you any more than you love yourself so think about that and recognize that and do that inner care self love work if you haven't done it already and be conscious of your inner dialogue now I'm not telling you you can't be upset with a guy or you can't share your feelings with a man unless they're positive okay I want to make that really clear far from it it's actually a really high value sign that a woman is in full unapologetic ownership of her feelings of her emotion so it's okay to get angry sometimes but I want I want you to ask yourself what are you going back to time and time again is your dominant emotional setpoint bringing and inviting people into your life or is it pushing them away is it keeping them at arm's length right are you using your feelings to sort of like keep people out because it makes to feel safe it's just something to look at and something to think about to strive for an emotional setpoint within yourself of calmness and serenity not only will that be more inviting to a man and make him want to take the plunge with you emotionally but or just make your life more enjoyable too so remember ladies if you want a man to fall in love with you you need to give him something to fall into and there are four important ways to do that the first is if you want a man to take the leap you need to let him know where you need to give him the target right by letting him know what your boundaries are by sharing your preferences your likes and dislikes expressing your frame to him of who you are and owning it unapologetically that's gonna help him trust you and make him want deeper emotional intimacy with you and secondly he needs to see and feel your depth before he's gonna leave so are you asking deep questions are you embodying deep powerful ways of being that are gonna entice him and invite him to want to go deeper with you and are you being vulnerable are you creating emotional depth through the way that you're showing up and how will you show your depth to a guy that you want to love you by the quality of your questions by asking him questions that go beneath the surface and get him to tell stories and feel feelings and connect not just with you deeper but with him self through your ways of being being mysterious curious present surrendered letting him know that you are very different from him in an incredibly enticing and inviting way and through your vulnerability remember you are the conductor in one of the most powerful ways that you can create depth of relationship is by leading with your heart by leading with your feelings by letting him know what it means to be vulnerable because he's looking to you for guidance around that and a third way to get a man to take the plunge is to let them know that the water is warm so are you demonstrating warmth in the way that you communicate and connect with him are you catering to his love languages are you praising him for what he's doing are you letting him know by the way that she's showing up to him a this is a safe space and I want to hear and experience more from you and the fourth key to get a man to fall in love with you and take the plunge is to make sure that the current is calm and soothing so look at your dominant emotional setpoint and ask yourself more often than not how do I feel how do I feel about myself how do I feel about my relationship how do I feel about the world and how is that impacting how I show up because if you are not talking to yourself if you're not seeing yourself as a priceless treasure if you don't love yourself most of the time or at least a dominant amount of the time then you cannot expect another man to love and cherish and honor and support you the way that you're craving so look at the way you're talk to yourself and above all else treat yourself like someone you love so I hope you get out there and use these tips to really inspire the man in your life to fall in love with you but before you do take a second hit that little subscribe button and don't forget to click that link in the comments and caption I've created some awesome content I know it's going to make a huge difference for you in your relationships and connections with men thanks so much for stopping by and I'll see you on my next video bye bye you 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Channel: Mat Shaffer

Views: 117,395

Rating: 4.9370542 out of 5

Keywords: dating advice, dating advice for women, love advice for women, dating, love advice, dating coach, relationship coach for women, love coach for women, relationships, what men want, mathew boggs, understand men, communication advice, mat shaffer, matt hussey, antonio borello, love, how do men fall in love, how to get a man to love you, how to make a guy fall for you, how to make guy fall in love with you, how to make him fall for you, how to make him fall in love, Matt Shaffer

Id: UgwvTgsnlTo

Length: 17min 0sec (1020 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 23 2020