3 Bears 2 Caves ft. Tom Segura | Ep 34 | Bad Friends

[Music] you know at first i was like i'm on a show it's pretty cool but after a while sitting here listening to these morons and not once does anyone ever think to get me some water [Music] i'm tired man [Music] well i guess i should tell you we got merch [Music] go to badfriendsmerch.com oh now you give me water you you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude you two are disgusting well you two or something we're bad friends hello hello hello wow welcome to another episode of bad friends we've got red red is not here red's not here red's doing a movie in beirut you know it's called the uh nuremberg effect yeah he's in a movie called nuremberg i'm actually i'm doing a movie right now i'm in north korea it's called the impossible chopstick and uh okay that's a [ __ ] microaggression is that no it's not it's a microaggression it's a microaggression yeah yeah is that your bob yeah everywhere he goes he's doing a movie it's it's him brad pitt tom hardy and some other people oh that sounds like a small budget yeah yeah small budget yeah the budget's like around the world so he he's a shooting new zealand next week so he's gonna have that set there then i fly to peru then i finish the movie in peru that's great yeah yeah what's crazy is i start right after that i start a movie uh with the rock the rock and i are doing like a it's called transitioning and uh it's called the rock and the hard place bro yeah rock in a hard place yeah andrew that's a very that's a very busy schedule yeah dude but it's like that's who i am that's who i want to be and that's yeah yeah i mean i would honestly with that schedule i never would say this to somebody but i would i think it's appropriate to tell you that i think it's time to quit podcasting yeah you know i mean like i mean it's tom hardy tom hanks the rock like you're [ __ ] you're done now you're done with this i don't know but but it's like it's you guys you know what i mean i mean bobby lee tom segura you think your names aren't ranked as high as tom hardy and and and tom cruise i don't i and i think i think they would mock us if they met us yeah can we start with this last night yeah papa's trying to sleep you know papa papa that's me papa likes to sleep and i'm about to get to bed and then all of a sudden you know sometimes i'll i'll cap the night off with uh you know going on the internets and whatnot and then you know you get the news that um trump has the kovid right and then um i didn't sleep for 12 hours i was just laying there just [ __ ] reading reading and googling what was your first emotion when you found out i prayed you did not i did as jules knows as andrew knows i'm i'm a jesus freak i believe in the lord and i got on my hands and knees and i'll tell you the [ __ ] prayer i did okay you're lord of heavenly fathers right yeah to you to which is each his own right so i i follow up with that right wait dear lord wait who are the heavenly fathers because that's absurd okay cleopatra because he's up there right right uh we've got jesus definitely yeah he's assassinated moses some people call it moisy yes i call it moses we've also got um the holy ghost and he's like the ninja of up there yeah you can't release he's not really around you can't see him do you feel like the holy ghost is asian he could be yeah yeah yeah holy ghost has like a cloud mask on yeah it looks like covert but a mask but like he's got the eyes dude ninjas are so so yeah and the holy ghost is like a cloud ninja how much did you try did you dress up as a ninja as a kid yeah multiple times and and it's pronounced holy ghost hoary ghost oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah [Music] and so um wait you're not afraid you're not offended by that what the hoary ghost no because that's what ninjas are horrible i mean that's what yeah that's what they call it yeah cloud ninjas i'm very offended i'm offended by it yeah okay okay okay okay i'm very offended by it that's what i was making yeah yeah a lot of things that he says is a very offensive bobby as an ethnic person trying to survive in this world yeah i try to let it go and i just trying to survive trying to survive the guy has like five television shows and five movies going right now shut shut up i shall do you all right [ __ ] you you'll be wrong with tom hanks and tom hardy and all the times you have five movies going right now i got nothing going all right i don't know liar liar on fx does he does he make racially charged statements like that with the words and everything often he does like the other day he goes hey he just calls me out he goes what is the direct translation of ching chong and i go yeah he does i go i think ching chong is just uh just you know i mean not a generic thing that like white people say to asians i said i called you and i said does ching chong mean anything i didn't know yeah yeah and i said no it's just it doesn't and so he hangs up and then an hour later he goes you know when you drive it and i don't think it's safe for you to drive at night and i go why not and he goes because you're not going to be able to see much yeah right so i go that's not true i have great i can't see um peripherally why can't you see peripherally because my eyes are slanties wait is this a true sting yeah seriously i can only see a straight ahead and it's also like this yeah it's like a horn like a horse blind it's a horse blender yeah and it kind of you know me you know it kind of comes off like this have you considered the surgery where they open it up i refuse oh because i don't want to see that much yeah yeah i mean that's a good parent that's a good point i don't want to see everything right right yeah i just want to see this much right right so your eyes are perfect right so i go no i can see this much on the road so it's fine but so my prayer let's go back to the prayer dear lord i said all that's right and i go please in your heavenly arms right please cuddle please cuddle our great leader donald trump yeah and make him good the strength of america is behind him right make him good and make him fine and he does not deserve this yeah nobody does right and dear jesus in heaven's good name amen to you and all wow that's a really nice prayer that's a really really nice that's what i did when i found out that he had it i did the prayer and then you go into the conspiracy theories right one of them being right he's faking it i've heard the sympathy yeah i don't buy that conspiracy theory i don't either because do you andrew because you'd have to get so many people involved here's how you know go ahead that that he's actually sick his whole thing his whole persona is based on like i'm tough i'm strong i don't need that that [ __ ] doesn't apply to me things don't bother me the very fact that he would allow himself to be taken to walter reed hospital believe that's right that's that's something that he would not want to do they also landed the helicopter as close as they could to the door yeah now he's sick they pull it up right to the door they're like we will die if we do that we have to do five feet away you know what i mean he's like okay yeah and he barely he made it like the blades are gonna go through the [ __ ] cement here and he's like no no no no so he did he did make it in there and you're right i think his ego wouldn't allow absolutely that's why you know it's real i think yeah but you know i feel but then here's what he'll probably they'll probably say like he was on a respirator his temperature is 106 when he comes out he'll be like not that bad it really wasn't bad i'm a strong guy and strong guys it just doesn't [ __ ] with yeah but it really is um i was telling ander earlier um because we waited three hours for you to arrive and and we would have waited forever i'm sorry i already apologized i'm sorry you were the thomas sir thomas okay and we know um i'll tell you this this is this because this is actually just more wholesome than the only other time that i completely forgot i was scheduled to do a podcast yeah so this is the second time yeah today i've said a big tennis match you know i was out in the sun i got home showered i'm laying on the couch literally andrew's like let me know when you get there and i was like [ __ ] right and i just panicked yeah got my kid dressed and i was like yeah you guys got to watch them and i just jumped in the car the last time was in 20 god i want to say it says 2012. holy [ __ ] but i remember it like it was yesterday and i had agreed to do the scar brothers podcast which is one of the best they're great they're great guys and they're like hey will you uh you know come on on friday and we'll see you at at noon and i go yeah okay i'm jerking off looking at my phone watching porn like stroking my and it's just you know the the iphone thing it's like randy and i'm like and as soon as i see his name i'm like [ __ ] so he's like are you close and i was like to coming yeah yeah and then i just had to do the whole thing where i i couldn't i mean i didn't want to tell him what i was doing yeah he knows now randy uh when he texts me i come anyway it's really strange yeah moment thing i see it just don't come out just never have ever and asked them have called them by their name yeah because i don't know who's who i know you know i really don't i don't know i go years ago what's up the brothers are in town if i see them both oh where's your other better half i'll i'll do something like that i've never felt more in sync with you because i i absolutely refuse to try they're like it's and sometimes they do the thing where they're like hey i got the glasses it's jason you're like yeah yeah i [ __ ] know i know you think i don't know it's you chasing yeah yeah yeah so you know i don't know the difference but they're great guys they are a talent um wait does ching chong really not mean anything i think means um um hello maybe can we can we just address something about it though it's it's a fun thing to say yeah like it's unfortunate that it has negative you know racial connotation because it really it really feels slows off the tongue it feels like tell me tell me you guys have seen there is a very offensive meme okay it's it's a mentally handicapped asian guy and he's a maestro of an orchestra i know exactly what you're talking about and it says and a one and a three and a ching chong potato yeah and it's easily the funniest meme i've ever seen in my entire yeah right is it offensive yeah yeah it's just very funny very funny but also like it also it would be nice if it was acceptable to use for like you know what i mean like let's say you were like hey uh you know my my mom made this dish and i was like what is it and then you could be like it's just some ching chong [ __ ] you know you know and then i'd be like oh yeah you'll see comics if you walk into a green room yeah there are some comics and they can't help themselves they'll go i've been conditioned to laugh at it but it hurts it does it burns really yeah it burns but you have to go that's a good one yeah i mean like you've seen it 30 million times in your life of course yeah yeah yeah which is when they go gong and then they giggle you know what i mean people are really doing that oh yeah yeah when you walk in the room yeah well tell tom about you learning about microaggressions all right so yesterday i i went to um i was just googling things this is before i found out that trump had coveted and then i went to my high school you know i'm obsessed with my high school so i went to poway high school i googled that on youtube and then they go wait you're obsessed with your high school yeah because it's so pathetic because he wants to be in the high school hall of fame they don't respect me he wants to be in the alumni the notable alumni they don't like me how are you not in the notable alumni but i'm not by them oh right yeah because is this a big high school it's pretty big yeah they um they don't find me to be a credible you know entity when it comes to like fame yeah right they think that that's kind of hard to believe man well they have people that are like if you look it up we've done this before on the show where you go you google you know they're you know notable um yeah alums alums and it's like you know ving trang who you know plays the violin oh for the orchestra how many seasons were you on mad tv eight come on man like that alone they don't care but it was on the air for eight [ __ ] years 17 well the show was on air for 14 years the one that you were on though yeah but i was on the show the last eight years of mad tv wow yeah so i met you on the street i met you on the street when you were doing that and i remember that no you don't what a great day oh you don't remember i have a vivid memory of meeting him on the street this is he says this all the [ __ ] time go ahead tell him there's a [ __ ] you're with some tall blonde really tall was she cute yeah she was like six one and then look at it i was super i was like excited to meet you yeah and uh we started um we started riffing uh like a bit right there on the street yeah and you hopped on my back that's right yeah remember that they don't remember that yeah i do i hopped on your back and i go um i whipped you and i go gallop on no that's not the bit daddy nope no no no no no it was about a fire rescue thing i was rescuing you from a burning building tom let me just say something when i see people with your body type yeah i always jump on the back just body type meaning you know i can do deadlifts no no bodytap meaning that you're not you know fat like some people we know right and you're but you have a thickness to you yeah i'm a thick boy yeah yeah and and it's that's not a bad thing and you can you believe he's saying this bobby you're basically like you're just a squooshed figure of of a taller fat guy bob that's uh you're just if somebody accordion to taller fat guy jules liked that one yeah and hey andrew it's true what you talk like you're not like you call him thick you have such a rotund belly you have a pot belly i'm fat yeah yeah i i i'm not denying that yeah but you say you jump on his back because i'm smaller yeah so a smaller fat guy is going to jump on a fatter fat guy's body right right it's not the reverse i'd get crushed by him is that in the code i would crush you i don't think you would i think i'd be able to handle your weight yeah don't get offended because you're doing us a favor thank you so much hey hey you're very handsome but i mean you're also taking jabs at my body you know that's that's a that's not even a microaggression that's that's really not part of like society today to come after my my physicality true that's true and i'm very sensitive about it yeah but can i just say something right now i'm going to tell you i found out what microaggression was because i went to the poway high school youtube what's the name of the high school highway high school poway yeah and in hawaii no it's in san diego okay and they did a um a video on microaggression okay and i didn't i had never heard of the word before you've never heard of this no and then i was laughing at their at their sketch sketches yeah of what a microaggression is because i thought it was a comedy video but then at the end they're like don't do any of these and i go oh [ __ ] this is my what my life is based on right so then i realized that my comedy is based on microaggression and for those of you don't know i'm going to just tell you the the definition of it if i if i may okay microaggression is a term used for brief and commonplace daily verbal verbal or behavioral igniting indignant indignities whether intentional or unintentional that communicate hostile derogatory or negative i just said that's so asian or negative attitudes towards stigmatized or culturally marginalized groups that's a lot to digest yeah so i'll give you an example okay and this is what you shouldn't do okay if you see um if you're hanging out with your mexican friend yeah right yeah and you go hey pedro or my [ __ ] or frank sure it could be frank it could be frank it could be frank we don't know okay right and that's what my point is right it could be frank castilla ramirez sancho right okay and what do you do so i go frankie i just want to let you know man you know i don't think you don't act mexican to me that right there is a microphone he's a microaggression right he go hey bro yeah april what you mean bro right yeah i go it's just that you don't know how to play an el mariachi right bro you don't mean yeah you know i do rap though bro or whatever it might be right i don't think you know that that's a micro question is it a micro aggression if i go like hey bobby yes there's a sushi place across the street what's it like yes that's a [ __ ] microaggression why but it looks like a good spot i know but you would you ask andrew that no it's [ __ ] redhead you wouldn't want his opinion because he has no good taste buds right right he likes boiled yeah boiled ham oil beef of course cabbage right that's what his types of people like but if there was a pizza place across the street i'd be like hey andrew what's up with that pizza place man yeah it's good it's delicious right i think i'll get a slice on the way it is a microaggression apparently it is right yeah but here's the thing though are you of the mentality that like and i'm glad that we're getting into these microaggressions and and putting it out there or are you like this is [ __ ] nonsense no what i'm trying to do is because this is you know what they say about the pendulum swinging yes right it's swinging the other way right yeah and so i'm just trying to adapt to a new world and i'm going to tell you this right now i want to change what do you want to change i don't want to do no more on microaggressions you could do it to me i like it you like the microaggressions well i love them so wait do you like when you walk in the green room and they're like like all that yeah yeah yeah yeah i do what yeah i thought you just said you know what i also love i love you know i told you about that guy go that i was on a flight and some redneck comes up to me and goes he wanna you could tell he wanted to talk to me you know how to bring it up so he just goes hey man i go what's up he goes my daughter shh she loves hello kitty that's all he said yeah just to spring up you know i mean conversation yeah and bc as an ethnic person i know where he's coming from that he's trying right he's trying so for me the trying in itself to be fair the guy that created hello kitty you look strikingly like that's the problem that's a good idea why would i be in the middle seat of a southwest airlines seat well because you're just trying to save some money yeah man yeah not every one of them i see so his assumption is man that's like the rest of us yeah yeah he's a common man you should have said how did you know it was me right how'd you know all right played along right now wait when he did that because you at that point can go what the [ __ ] are you telling me that for right but what it how did you i'm sure i know like john cho yeah john cho would have been like hey man that's [ __ ] crazy what you just said right he would have said that right because i know who joncho is right my kid loves hello kitty yeah yeah but i would have been like you know what i mean what i was like was like hey man that's cool yeah i think it's good stuff too you did yeah i love it too and he was like i'm just saying yeah yeah i know that you know yeah yeah yeah i could have gone like yeah you know what when i was creating hello kitty that would have been fun i was gonna make him black yeah at first but i'm like i don't know man hey guys uh my favorite underwear of all time is me undies that's all i wear around the house it's comfortable i love the designs me 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like you know when i was writing it i didn't know what where i was going to go with it and then they'll be like wait you wrote that yeah oh i thought that's why you said that yeah yeah or they say you meant my favorite food is chinese china food what's so funny you know my name is pf yeah right and my family started yeah yeah yeah yeah we have to start me up he'll be like what the [ __ ] really yeah you know and you know that [ __ ] um beef that we do this the double beef yeah you know the double beef is like you know chinese people usually cook it one time right but i was the one right because i'm pf right let's do it twice and you twice you're just going to freak them and they'll be like i'm sorry this is my friend johnny sanchez right he started the refried they fried at one time right johnny tell him and johnny would be like yeah dude we fried it twice and like look what's the hottest asian [ __ ] right now i'm trying to think what's like of uh in the last well crazy rich asians that was about blm not no no that's black lives matter what's it called bts bts you know we talked about those uh those pop groups and then yesterday i opened twitter you know you go to the trending page and it was that a pop star they're like oh we saw his pack of cigarettes in his pocket and that was a tren worldwide trending topic that is one of the pop singers is smokes yeah it's crazy i didn't know the group or anything but there's like a million tweets about this kid smoking well that's he's that's the bad boy that's the bad boys he's the bad boys he's the bad guy yeah yeah yeah hey also i want to announce we talked about it before the show uh joe biden said it on his twitter it's national filipino awareness month oh boy wow well congratulations there jules jules yeah that's exciting how do you feel about that jules i don't know because i'm not filipino-american oh it only applies to the nine guys in america that are filipino-american you're not filipino-american no but i'm i'm from the u.s and i'm just staying here to study so you're from the u.s no philippines oh okay yeah why are you helping us right now because tom sugar is a big star no yeah she googled you and she's a big star so she gets really flustered yeah yeah yeah don't get so nervous everything's like he's just like everyone else wait you're just here studying yeah yeah how long are you going to study um i'm thinking about going to college here what are you studying now i'm in i'm in high school senior senior year you're a senior in high school all right yeah and so when um you were talking about jerking off you know that was cool sorry about that you know me sorry jules yes how's high school going yeah it's uncomfortable now yeah how was high school she's doing good wait do you only say you have children in here all the time she's our um she's okay so you know i'm dead i'm you know i'm dating kurosawa yes yeah and kurosawa is from uh the island yes the phalapons yeah and um apparently they have families as well over there like everyone else yeah and uh she has um a sister her name is honey and honey has a daughter happens to be her okay right so she yeah so that so kurosawa is my aunt your aunt are you staying with them since the pandemic how horrible is that to live with him it's okay well okay so that's great that you said that that's the honest that's an honest reaction okay so we're started there we started there so let's get some of this let's get some specifics specifics out what what is something that i do that you don't agree with uh maybe mostly everything okay well that's now an attack santina booger collection what about the booger collection jewels so what does it mean um he puts boogers in my room i get the side and then i told him not to put it and then he said you can't tell me what to do and he was serious yeah bobby why are you torturing her like that how was that tom he's 49 years old and he puts boogers sweet child yeah [ __ ] you [ __ ] you all right i'm sorry i apologize but i just want to say this to defend myself i've never had a teenager in the house before yeah i don't i didn't buy the book yeah right there's no instructions yeah so i just don't know what to do yeah bobby there is no book but if there was it certainly would say don't put boogers on them and if i read that in a manual of some sort then i probably wouldn't but at the time it seems i don't know what to talk to her about right so i'll walk into her room and i go how school and she's like it's okay you getting good grades it's fine and i'll just go i don't know what to do i'll put a booger on the wall yeah every day i mean there's you know why is that the solution that doesn't seem like that how do you get to that step why do you because i can't get uncomfortable because i don't know what to say and how to mold her you know i mean her mind right because you know as a i guess i'm a parental figure right i don't know how to i've never took a class or anything so it's like i go i can't help her with school work she's like you know b equals minus 12 b and pi equals the bunsen burner and i'll be like that's way out of my pay grade and here's a booger yeah i mean just to have some sort of interaction how do you like the uh is he a good uh partner to your aunt yeah yeah he's he he makes her laugh he makes her laugh and obviously a wonderful lover as well yeah you've heard about that yeah you met my rabbit style is that what you're saying i was just making oh yeah yeah and then you know you know how you know how girls are always like i just want a guy who's funny yeah right but but and then once they get the guy that's funny they realize you also need other characteristics to like yeah yeah yeah and so she has she's like he's funny yeah yeah yeah yeah no i have other skill sets that say yeah what are they okay i'm gonna tell you um i'm funny yeah you know i'm also the one we have covered okay here's another thing i do i don't have a problem with her what what i don't have a problem with her what do you mean there's nothing that she does that bothers me kurosawa nothing bothers you about her not really you know i mean it's like i i let things pass by like to me what's like a thing that could bother you but you're like i'll just i'm not gonna say anything well she does she thinks that i'm um that i have um she thinks that i'm not coordinated okay but that's not real so she'll say stuff like um be careful walking down the stairs in my mind i'm like [ __ ] i've walked down so many [ __ ] stairs you know you'll [ __ ] know i'm a stair master [ __ ] but you keep you at your mouth i keep my mouth shut and so then i'll walk down the street and you know what i mean and be careful yeah right to be very wonderful what your weight for some reason your weight you do lean forward when you walk yeah so wait what do you weigh oh my god it's top heavy i'm top heavy i weigh about 175. that's it yeah but four i'm alive four four eleven five four eleven that's not good 175 yeah how much do you weigh 235 yeah yeah but you're tall how tall are you six eight yeah yeah there you go yeah but like so that's plus muscle you muscle weighs more than fat yeah right so she'll say stuff like don't play candy crush on the freeway like that sounds like that she's supposed to say that that to me it doesn't though right it bothers you that she's calling i'll roll my eyes i'll go and i'll put the [ __ ] phone down right right there's just certain things like um oh here's the thing hey what's for dinner tonight and she'll be like i don't know i was thinking about making salmon we had salmon last night right and i'm a man that needs variety so you're like hey [ __ ] head i'll just get the pizza i'll go in my head i'll be like hey i'll go how about if i make a pizza you guys your blood pressure and i'll be and i'll be like i'll eat the [ __ ] salmon in my mind right yeah but but in but in my mouth i'll go okay we'll have seven yeah so you know it bothers me but i don't like but every but if you know she has she has so many problems with me right yeah yes what do you mean yeah i mean just how could you not like what what do you you say it like it's like can you believe she has so many problems like yeah dude it'd be [ __ ] mind-bending if she was like no it's all good he's super easy to live with wait so i mean that seems right but also jules as a roommate for now what six seven months or something yeah more uh what are some things you think he could work on in addition to not wiping boogers on your wall um maybe more responsible because he also he almost burned the house last week oh okay i was burned more than once yes more than once how did you almost do it in the kitchen burner no what well um as you know uh i'm down to two cigarettes a day that's something i was very well aware of yeah so as you know and that's a good thing and uh and and i i thank you for starting with as you know as you know and i want the people on twitter to like you know back me up on that and congratulate me i think that's a big deal but sometimes i forget to to put out there this is a big boo-boo i know it is and i'm admitting it right now right i'm invading right i sometimes were you sleeping with it like was it one of those no no i just go outside and i'll be like i'll google stuff and i'll go microaggressions yeah and just read about it that's crazy i do this all the time a bad person you know i mean and i'll just put the cigarette down i'll go inside yeah yeah instead of putting it out yeah so that's not a good thing another thing that i do is i pee in her favorite plant and who's favorite plant no not yours well no cause there's a bush outside that she she really likes i don't give a [ __ ] about no bushes i've never been a bush fan by the way i don't care about weeds i don't give a [ __ ] you don't like any bushes yeah i like trees you gotta breathe right but i'm not just a big bush yeah but i'm not like a fan of vines when you can answer this when you reach back to the old country when you're when you're talking when you're talking to the fam and they're like what's going on are you like we need to get kalila out of here like or do you go we need to save her things like that no no okay all right just making sure so anyway there's a so she'll go she said um will you plea looked at me right in the eyes we have three bathrooms at home right just pee in the toilet right because you start pissing you you're pissing on that plant that i like and i know but i'm out here i want to go back in there so i'm smoking i'm googling microaggressions and i don't have that are you enclosed like are other people seeing you piss no i i purposely put the shades down if i'm gonna do it shades right because i do it outside okay there's a bush outside so i'll i have a machine that does it okay yeah the mistake is you're saying do neighbors see you yeah bobby just does that so no one inside his own home watches and piss in the blue yeah i don't want them to catch me but what about the neighbors no because i have like enclosures encouragements yeah so um so enclosurements yeah so that i'll i'll pee on the bush and then she'll go what the [ __ ] and i'll i'll turn around i'll turn around oh [ __ ] yeah she puts up with the laughs yeah yeah she caught me again and i thought this is the last time yeah but why why do you like p you i think you do that as an act of defiance yeah i need to defy a little bit that's my little why because that's been my whole life is to defy against the rules because if you take away drugs and alcohol which they have you know i mean which i have i've weeded drugs and alcohol out of my life right and then you along with the pandemic right no weed no i mean aa so i you know along with the pandemic i can't leave the house really because we're really mindful about it you know i mean what is there left to do pee on the bush oh that feels yeah pee on the [ __ ] bush there's nothing else to do that feels good that feels good to me it's like i'm going yeah i got this actually that makes more sense thank you so much yeah that makes more sense so they don't even know this i'm gonna admit something and i have to clean it up but um if you look in the garage yes there's a lot of like i drink um creation juice creation juice yeah it's like it's a it's a company called creation it's a juicery that makes and they're like 13 to 15 for a bottle of fresh pressed juice so i get fresh pressed juice and during the day and i'll get like five or six bottles and i'll be playing video games i'll just download [ __ ] creation juice he's spending 350 a day on juice no that's so ah i'll drink it and then i'll be playing warzone i'll play groundwork so you're like you know in the battlefield for 45 minutes and it's not less you can't just press pause in it because it's live yeah so i'll have an empty creation juice and i'll just go [ __ ] it and i'll just pee in it yeah right i'll go [ __ ] it i'm not going right i'll pee in it and i'll throw it away later but then i forget right and the next you know you have 15 bottles of peaches yeah everywhere look at her face yeah she doesn't look like she doesn't look happy no yeah yeah i mean this again you're like this is what my aunt which is this doesn't come out until a couple days so i'm going to have to go tonight and throw away all those bottles you got to throw those away you got to so you don't do anything like that at home well no one pees in bottles nobody pees in people in a bottle in a car you know in a road trip yeah like a grown-up not at the house you've never done that i've never peed in a bottle at in my house all right that's my bag i have pissed in the backyard before there we go there we go that's another thing we have in common yeah that feels good have you done that yeah i pee in my backyard when i yes i pee in my bag i don't feel bad for peeing on the plant yeah but my but but i don't get yelled at for peeing on it's a weird it's a different thing though like if andrew if your wife was like hey there's this one spot though i really appreciate you not pissing here and then you go well that's where i'm gonna piss every time that is weird yeah yeah i think about it that's weird what else do i do um other than that um well i invite ants ants yeah yeah i have a drawer i have a drawer of of ants why do you have a drawer of ants because um at three and four in the morning i need my snacks oh yeah so i have some flowers what time do you go to bed six in the morning so i have my sunflower seeds and you sleep tom he goes to bed at six a.m and then he's up 30 minutes before we shoot this show he go about 3 34 p.m this is wild to do great it's great it's america it's american life it's american life it's american choice does it collapse it's called freedom does she does she mimic your sleep schedule no no she's already like this morning well this afternoon i woke up and um i go oh i always stretch my arms out right because they're in pain because i sleep like this you know what i mean so i'll go ah you know you're you know i mean yeah bones like yeah i mean disconnecting and stuff yeah and then i'll look over to see kalei and she's gone yeah and then she's already like she has her yoga she should have she's done things she's done a lot of things and most of the groceries went to the beach it must be crazy though for you on a job to go from the schedule to they're like all right call time is uh 5 30 and are you just like uh i don't sleep really yeah and you worked the whole day like like the last job when i was in hawaii i was on magnum pi i was in every single scene right the whole week i was it i was the first one they picked up the last one they dropped off i didn't sleep for five days by the sixth by the fifth day i was just like you know i mean like i couldn't say a word i was so tired guys remember the days when you're always ready to go i do let me say something andrew i've been using blue chew in my life right and it really does work yeah i mean it makes me so um virile and um it gives you it gives you what you need bluetooth brings you the first chewable with the same fda approved active ingredients as viagra and cialis viagra and cialis anytime day or night even on a full stomach so you can get ready whenever an opportunity arises that's right if you could benefit from more confidence where it counts bluetooth is the fast and easy way to enhance your performance papa yep bluetooth is prescribed online by licensed physicians you don't have to go to a doctor's office or wait in some weird pharmacy it ships right to your door in a discreet package so if you're looking to get a little bit more pump downstairs fellas luchu is incredible bobby and i sometimes will just take it and go meet up in the middle of the night and sword fight in a forest yeah and well yeah on a tree and it's great and you know the best part of bluetooth andy andrew i mean don't get angry they're made in the usa bud that's right and ships direct they're cheaper than a pharmacy no awkwardness and you don't have to leave the house right now we have a special deal for our listeners visit bluechew.com and get your first shipment for free when you use our promo code bad friends just pay five bucks for shipping again that's blue like the color blueechew.com promo code bad bad friends bluechu is the better cheaper choice and we thank them for sponsoring the podcast and remember when you support our sponsors you make this podcast possible so please be sure to use our promo code bad friends at bluechew.com tom you you saw those episodes of magnum pi they did they were so good those are actually [ __ ] you no i'm being serious tom and i talked about it he goes dude he texted me and he goes dude i didn't know bobby was in magnum pi and i said yeah he goes he's [ __ ] killing it and i was like i know who said that i said it who do i play on it play kevin [Laughter] is that not the right name no it's not not what is it yeah if you were even remotely close i would have given you it kelvin no i don't play kelvin who do you play gin jin yeah yeah completely different gin like not even the not even the ballpark that sounds like a that sounds like a microaggression what that sounds like a microgravity that's a micro regression yeah calling you jin your name could have been your name should have been kevin less racist but jin oh here comes a gin very racist yeah i don't have an accent in it no that's everyone [Laughter] this is a great character yeah it's a good it's a choice that is a good show choice but yeah what's going on here guys is that your grandfather behind you no that's me see that's not that's a micro question no it looks like your grandfather that's me yeah but you realize that i'm right when i say that does that look like andrew's grandfather let me see yeah okay yeah it does yeah is that your grandfather yeah it's my granddad oh that's cool he looks just like you do you want to talk about move-in time it's not a done deal or anything you know we're just like bobby bobby was worried bobby said why is everyone moving i'm worried that everyone is moving yeah okay because i think i gotta put a stop to it you know i i just everyone i don't know anybody that's not except for this [ __ ] right and sebastian monoskalco they might leave too okay now he's talking about hey maybe denver denver's awesome yeah i love denver i love denver too yeah but i just [ __ ] bought a house i can't move yet why so i like where i live okay that's fair then i know but i i don't want everyone to move but now you need to i was looking at houses in austin and there's a couple i like there you go and um if i go there i don't know what to do because i you know here's the thing it takes me i'm like an animal you know i'm like a snow leopard yeah right i have to memorize everything would kill move i don't think she wants to either because her family's here her whole family's here yeah her sister and her mom and stuff you know i mean that's her family they all live in l.a though they live in l.a and it's like you know it's like and and and my friends are moving you know i don't know joe i i love joe rogan i think it's his fault though no i don't really think so because this exodus i mean you know you can point to him but there's a huge exodus outside of like our world you know what i mean new york and l.a specifically okay let me ask you something what are the benefits well there's a couple big ones tell me like you went specifically austin no just yeah to tell me austin and tell me why what are the benefits of moving out of la well okay so one i mean that's a big one obviously there's zero state income tax oh whereas in uh california we have the highest state income tax in the nation not only that we are now in a big deficit because of covid and more than likely when this new proposal hits the floor they'll raise the highest rate to a new highest rate okay okay they'll have three tiers oh of tax rate on them okay um then there's other things like lifestyle right there's so so some people you know like you can love wherever you live but like in let's say if you were going to austin you would more than likely if you looked at those houses have like bigger yards maybe a bigger house newer things like that that's true less congestion a little less people but a city like that has it offers a lot right i mean they have huge graves we've seen great restaurants and they're they're um groovy whites they're groovy whites yeah um as somebody that tours a lot it's definitely a lot easier to tour from the middle of the country than the southwest corner that's a good point um you know i mean it look but the thing about cities is it's it's a feel thing you got to go and like you spend time you know in denver or nashville or wherever you might go and and it's a thing that you have to uh feel like you want to live there like like bobby like bobby said he was thinking about portland and you know portland might be right for you bob i feel like the very a very strong bob vibes when i'm in portland i'll tell you the reason why importantly is not aside from like the radicals the radical things that you were saying you know what was i saying i was talking about how they've been protesting for like 170 days straight yeah i just like you know whether i like it and it's one of the worst weather one of the worst weather cities in the united states i like the mood you like the rain i like trees what about seattle that too that would be by the way as well no state income tax no state income tax at seattle right that's right but i'll tell you the benefits of la okay okay for me koreatown big big benefit yeah korea town i lived there yeah koreatown first of all we had korean food last night how good was it it makes me cry it was so good how good really good really do you like korean food yeah yeah more than filipino food um maybe equal equal wow wow see you thank you so korea town first of all where am i gonna go to a spa you don't think that like oh so you think that austin has a 24-hour spa with old korean men washing my back no i need that but you know i need all korean men washing my [ __ ] you need that specifically yeah yeah yeah i need cream how you doing bob you know what i mean i need that right i need so there's definitely some good korean food i need 24-hour korean spa okay i need korean food 24 7. i can get korean food 24 7. 24 7. you can get oh yeah i can go to hottery that's a 24-hour you know i mean why don't you go why don't you go to the original korea town and go to seoul why don't you just move to seoul that's a good that place has so much korean [ __ ] it does yeah i've heard i've heard yes i've heard good things so why why don't you move there because i don't know anybody there all right why don't you step over secondly let me finish okay why don't you step over the dnz and go in to the north and see what's going on over there yeah all right so here's a third thing all right aside from um korean [ __ ] all right um i know right now you guys are reacting to the moment which you should never do right people react to the moment oh man the moment's crazy comedy clubs aren't [ __ ] up and grunting and whatnot right but they will right right inevitably they will right bobby's just mad that everyone is leaving la and he's building up this defense mechanism which is talking [ __ ] about everyone moving because he's sad that everyone's leaving yeah but i understand that that makes sense that makes sense to me you know because he doesn't want to be in his little booger castle all alone yeah he wants other people to still be in the city well change is scary and it's uncomfortable and it's so scary yeah i'm so scared about it are you going to tell do you want to tell tom do you want to tell tom that you you guys adopted a baby you guys adopted a little child what yeah tell tom you've got to be terrible at this yeah nature on williams natron williams yeah and we got it and you got it in the nature williams he's a second year senior at alabama yep and they adopted them that's really cool he's living in the um the attic of your place i don't have one somebody's that's your son yeah yeah natron williams is my son do you think you'd be do you want to be a dad bro i would cuddle that thing [ __ ] for days on in yeah i would mold and create life i would shape i would shape its mind to be unpenetrable i would teach it i would don't say unpenetrable when you talk about your kid it's such a weird word he won't be he will you tell me another dad's story so what up what do you mean you told me great stories about your dad oh my dad what a beautiful dad i had now did you ever when your dad would say things did you ever talk back or did you learn oh yeah if you looked at my dad in a funny way it would hit you in the face really yeah you no no you'd say you looked at me weird right yeah and i go i just looked at you and you would cry are you something who would chase you down the hallway stop looking at me like that yeah yeah i mean you know i lived in uh or then you would like your dad would my dad would come home right i'd be sleeping on my bed my dad would come home and i could hear him park his car and then he would open up the garage so my garage this is the garage door then it was my bedroom steve's bedroom right then a guest room and then my parents room at the end of the hallway you would hear the door open you could hear him do a [ __ ] sprint and run every night he would do that why would he sprint because that part of the [ __ ] hallway was haunted so you're spreading through it my brother got possessed my brother got possessed i got possessed once i had to go in the swimming pool to get unpossessed okay what what what what my brother talking about okay what do you mean you had to go in this swimming pool to get unprecedented can we call him yeah my brother was on last week now check it out okay and we've talked about this before we believe that on our side of the house we lived on an indian because the town was called poway we lived on an indian burial ground oh poway high school yeah yeah i know some famous alums yeah and that's called a call back all right and that's why you're good and that's why you're the best in the game thanks and that's why you're great in countdown appreciate it all right yes so then we lived in so my brother right his eyes rolled back one time and he started convulsing and my aunt and my uncle and my dad had to hold my brother down and he was convulsing right because they thought that he was being possessed by native native spirits so one day i'm taking a nap yeah right and i can't move my body like something's holding me down why are you smiling i'm just waiting no that's [ __ ] you man and that's why i that's why [ __ ] you man that's why i have a hard time andrew he's looking he's not even [ __ ] paying attention he's tweeting i'm i'm reading about paw way high school yeah yeah so i something's holding me down right i go i can't get up wait why why'd you have an accident for that because that's my inner voice okay okay i wouldn't say that out loud i can't get up yeah yeah yeah and i didn't know what to do i just run right into the laundry room outside the door and i jump in the winter cold swimming pool and then with all my clothes off yeah on and i get to the surface and the possession was gone right so we made the mistake of telling my dad this the two incidents so for since we lived in the house he would run through our part of the house i mean what did he think when you told him the stories he goes no that's in your mind yeah that's not real right oh no no no no there's no ghost here expensive house right right but then he would park and run yeah right yeah that's [ __ ] sabotage for sure yeah yeah so you know i didn't have a lot of um did i tell you about so here's the thing when my dad died i don't know about my family so when my dad i was in the room when my dad died mm-hmm right a video of a prolonged health issue yeah he had um stroke i don't know i'm asking i just told you well you said it like hey [ __ ] how did you not know no i told you no you asked me okay all right no no no stop all right i hate when white dudes do this wait whoa whoa what i get it a lot but um i hate it when people do this when they when you ask me to stop when you ask me a question and i answer you accordingly mm-hmm and then you go and then you do some defense i apologize you're welcome you had a stroke right and then how long was the but this is something i remember okay so the the nurse goes or the hospice nurse goes any moment now he's gonna die what's so funny what's so funny [Laughter] just the idea of just a nurse going any moment now i don't know how that's funny it's gonna it's gonna happen yeah yeah are you guys ready yes she goes at any moment and one and a two and a qing potato right so that uh so then my mom goes carl carl uncle han my dad's brother so my dad's brother left san diego right to drive to phoenix that's where the hospice hospital is right yeah and he's not there yet so my mom goes call him right so i call i go where are you he goes dad my uncle goes he dead i go no but he's gonna die and he my uncle goes don't let him die yet hold on right and he hung up the phone and i i didn't know what to do so i looked at my dad i go can you don't die yet is that that weird yeah yeah but i get that 15 minutes okay uncle's almost here yeah yeah yeah my uncle shows up my uncle han shows up my dad's already dead oh right my uncle i go we i go dude he died right my uncle walks in the room he looks at my dad's body he goes okay okay okay he gets back in the car then he drives back to san diego that's it he didn't say anything else i don't see anything so is this is this i want to go you could have just stayed home yeah well is this doing young's what is this dong young's hi do you remember donkey kong well how would i forget no i have i have um nine uncles what yeah yeah she's just a part of it okay yeah yeah but yeah so that's this guy was just like okay and then turn around got in his car and drove away yeah he could have done that or just stayed home right well he could have been like you know do you guys want me to stay or no he didn't do that nothing no and he didn't cry did you guys have did you guys have a uh funeral procession so people could look at them no no anything no we went um well then my mom goes do you do surfing do what selfie i have on my phone you want to see them it's tragic and she wanted a selfie with the family you know she shows she did this one you're right yeah so my dad's dad right and my brother and she get in get it all right and she did this and i was just like you know what i mean and she goes it's not working i know because i go it's weird that you want a selfie she go do the timer i go what timer on your phone time time so i did the timer so i set it up yeah right and i had to run around my dad's body yeah right and then do a photo right and we'd do it like three or four times because it clicked too early so it was my mid body they got my bit body into the she wanted this moment she wanted the moment yeah well in in order for them to get his pension plan they needed to do a series of setup shots so they did a christmas photo they had yeah easter photos this was offered proof of citizenship i don't know yes but my mistake was i sent the photos immediately to the hudsons kate and oliver hudson why because at the time oliver and i were on a show together and so i just wanted to show them that my dad died and they i know exactly that was the wrong move yeah what do you say because kate kate and oliver oliver goes dude you're my dad's not really dead in the photo right and i go yeah yeah he goes you don't send that to people he told you yeah and and now kate's disturbed of course yeah and i go oh that's my bad yeah that's that was definitely weird but also yeah you want to see him well no no i really feel like yeah that's one of the times when white people get to go like you know they're [ __ ] you know they're different you know i mean this is probably what they do yeah yeah yeah yeah and then and then they're like yeah let's not be judgmental yeah can i just show you a photo or okay yeah yeah yeah oh god you've seen them yes bobby yeah yeah would it horrify you no it won't um i actually really liked your guy's song that you came up with afterwards yeah daddy daddy thank that was really is that on itunes it should be you know you could really make some money on that you think so oh yeah that's just a banger dude [Laughter] yeah yeah um we actually want to do a remix with vin diesel uh to daddy while you die yeah i bet he would yeah we're out to his publicist to see if he will oh that's really sad man yeah and who is this my brother that's your brother and that's mom he's just passed here yeah it's very sad man thanks for showing me [Laughter] i can't see i can't deal with real [ __ ] yeah i know it's it's a you have very i have you have like high level comedic wiring that's like a lot of comedians yeah my therapist even is confused yeah he's like just constantly writing notes yeah and go and then it's like she goes i've never she goes in all my history of being a therapist and i i am a therapist for a lot of comics and a lot of actors and directors and whatnot in the business i've never even witnessed anything like that before the way you think and the way you behave i go there's no technical term for what that is and i go is there is there no hope for me doc and she goes we'll figure it out yeah yeah but you know what i know but those types of those types of real things make you uncomfortable i hate it it's like you know last night but you also had kind of a traumatic upbringing man yeah like even when like kaleila says something real that's her name not kurosawa let's just get that out of the way i didn't know that thanks for telling me let's get that out of the way an hour and a half into us saying yeah just your wife christine what's up that's good yeah that's her name right yeah christina right provincials right she so does your wife ever do this i really have an issue and then you go what yeah of course and then she goes she tells you what it is yeah and it's really deep and emotional right and and it's a big problem and my body just gets all tingly mm-hmm so i i just feel my body go [Music] right and like goosebumps right and my my mind gets hyper focused yep like this you've got you know i mean and it's almost like an out-of-body experience yeah and i just can't believe i mean it's so real yeah right do you ever get that yes yeah i think part of that though is the fact that like guys we don't we don't communicate on that level like if you hung out with just guys like in college or at the comment like no guy is gonna like come at you like guys just don't but women do women do communicate on that level yeah it's like i was never taught that you know i mean it's like i i was never taught like real like real emotion even if a guy came like andrew andrews never come up to me and goes hey can i just you know um can i tell you something bud i go what you freak you red-headed freak of nature i'll say that right yeah and he'll go don't call me that man that's what hurts me it hurts my feelings i go you're a [ __ ] albino freak you should kill yourself or whatever it might be right it's very cool yeah but yeah yeah but that would never like we would never have that kind of emotional conversation there's times there's times when i try to get real with you and you don't know how to [ __ ] handle it yeah yeah no i say if i say to you i'm being serious bob like it really it upsets me or i'm it's i'm not okay with it and then you just start like okay okay you don't know how to use it i don't know how to do it you're right and you know and i'm glad we're talking about it now right i think we should get it out of the way is there something that's bothering you about him right now um no well in this very moment no because he's been a good boy so i've been very very happy i think the real question is like jules what do you think bobby what do you want to tell him um i think to bobby should um be more um active and for and participate more in the family those goes those feelings this is serious that she was saying it's like i don't wake up right and i don't go hey guys i have a plan today right and they're like what is it messiah master whatever right and i'll go let's go to the beach you know i have it all planned out you just roll with the flow right i wake up and people just tell me we're going to the beach and i'll go come on but you will go i do go yeah you know what what two weeks ago what was it we got to go to a baby seance how could he what's that what's a bit what was that thing we went to baby shower no it's the first birthday of oh yeah yeah yeah whatever it is you know what i mean you mean a birthday baby sale i don't know what it was some sort of cultural event how do you think he could participate more would one thing be like getting up at a more reasonable hour yeah and like he he never went to the beach with us he doesn't like to go did i not go to the [ __ ] you [ __ ] ungrateful little lady hey hey hey hey hey my bad i apologize but did i not right you know i mean did i not listen to me little one what about that one time we went to the beach and we got the mexican food we just went there and watched the beach and um ate mexican food we didn't swim oh so you want me to go out in the cold water yeah and swim against the current i'm with your jewels and the tide okay yeah i'll do that and i'm going to say this to you little one all right who was the guy were you here when we went to hawaii and kalila was like we're swimming with sharks today right and i go you know what i wasn't there it happened and i was the one that was like you know what i'm gonna get involved i will swim with the sharks no matter what happens if i die or not by the way you have to watch a netflix show which is called the octopus teacher oh wait wait oh yeah yeah i saw the trailer but what else could you get what else what else could he do to get more involved um i feel like he's always in a bad mood it feels good huh it feels good well hold up red it feels good okay you know what i'm going to say this to you all right just stop all right number one you are always welcome to live in my house as long as you want all right i love you like you're a family member even if kalei and i if for some circumstance we break up right i've already i've already told you this that for the rest of your life you can always ask and ask things of me and i will be there for you right and and i will always be there for you okay and um you very impactful for my life and i really do i love you and and i know that you just betrayed me right now in front of the podcast audience and i know that that's your nature right but you know that my heart is in the right place so you have to do some self-inventory my friend all right and some analysis okay and analyze where you're coming from lady because it's ungrateful attitude that's going to get you at the end okay okay that was a real moment bobby thank you good job you're welcome what okay anybody like worth noting that went to pewdiepie high yeah well no this is this is something about power that there is a ghost of america site and poway is on here multiple times and somebody's what what's the name of the street that you lived on bobby i don't remember ranch hollow road ranch ranch hollow road yes shut shut the [ __ ] up shut up there's nothing on ranch hollow out there i would like to know the history behind power creek i moved to poway in october of 96 i've been here since eighth grade middle school my parents moved to a new house in the shea homes district of ranch hollow creek i have noticed of my parents houses indeed haunted when i stay there overnight i get chills i walk outside to have a cigarette i witness strange sounds before i go to bed one night while using my computer i heard a rattling sound on my desk as if someone was throwing chains onto it the doors will open and close and the only way for me to seek relief is to dip inside of the old poway creek yep that's exactly it i wrote that didn't i no this is this is real i know it is i you know i i don't know if you i don't know where you're getting that from and um but you know what if it's real i don't believe it i believe it and they and the girl said uh i knew that natives had dwell along the poway creek before the houses were even built i also know the neighborhood has shifted over the years many dirty little asian people have moved down to my parents street and they've ruined the neighborhood and the community significantly perhaps it's some of their old gross dirty ancestors that are mucking up the town that sounds dead on yeah yeah ghosts of america that sounds crazy dude yeah go somewhere so tommy i want to say this from the bottom of my heart you know i know i did your um podcast which is a very successful one probably won the best in the world and i really appreciate the help in fact you did your podcast i think before i did tiger ballet how long have you been around doing podcasts about 10 years okay so you were you're one of the forefathers and i appreciate that you paved the right road for us okay thanks man i'm being real oh really yeah okay thank you and i've i've reiterated i don't remember jumping on your back i do remember the one time that i did meet you when we did uh the oddball tool that's right for me that's right um that really says a lot about your heart and i know that you were like three or four hours late to this podcast we waited here forever i know yeah i know you did i wasn't three or four yeah yeah anyway um you probably wouldn't do that if it was anybody else like richard westman's one you'd probably be there i forgot and i was up front and i admitted it i appreciate it even though me and andrew are headliners and we we have some weight in the business as well yes you know and i did yours i was on time you were on time yeah yeah yeah and i really i honestly does that all jokes aside yes all jokes aside go [ __ ] yourself no kidding um all jokes aside i really all jokes aside i honestly like when we were because you know when he's he's in bare root doing the movie and i didn't know what to do we had my brother on last week and it's like i who do we get and it's like we threw out a thousand names and you were at the top of the [ __ ] list and i literally went there's no way we're gonna be able to get them you came through for us you're here right i honestly um i know i'm a [ __ ] up guy and i have i just need a lot of help peeing on things and setting things on fire i just have i have a lot of things you know i have a lot of problems but i'm a damaged guy i'm trying to get better yeah but i really hope that the rest of my life that um you'll be in it even though you'll you know move away and whatnot um i honestly think you know like bert was here but i think that you're ahead now yeah i mean yeah yeah i would i would think that that was already a thing for you i mean bert did put me on his tv show he did oh oh yeah one that we're on the log cabin oh yeah yeah the cabin the cabin that'll be good oh dude i loved it i had so much fun doing that too yeah what was it what did you guys do what did you guys do in your episode burt and i bert called me goes bro you're so funny i can put you in the woods with me in this cabin and we can just have a great time and i said absolutely and i went up there dude we went water skiing um kaya we went fly fishing so i don't i don't know i just hope it stays in the final cut i'm sure it will i mean that sounds like a lot of activities i'm sure they'll keep one in but yeah it's awesome it's odd though because the lineup of it were like real credible people it's odd that he would like have would go underneath that and go let's get let's get like underneath people whoa to do one jesus it's just because if you look at the lineup of it it's like headliner headliner credible credible i mean talent talent and then he went let's go open mike kinda with it and let's do one with andrew so it's odd that netflix would check that off and and whatnot but um congratulations that you were in it yeah what is it called again the cabin yeah the cabin yeah yeah it's got tom hardy tom hanks yeah yeah the rocks and the rocks in it there's some really there's some really credible comedians on there yeah haley cuoco everyone knows she's a great touring headliner love to see her in there there we go yep uh patty negri who's nick who's huge huge vegas act yeah thank you yeah she's the pre-opener yep caitlyn jenner she crushes love to see her yeah yeah and uh joelle michelle joellen very talented very funny yeah very funny yeah she was a strip supervisor for the west wing yep yeah well look i'm glad that i made the final cut yeah man yeah you're going to love your episode you know your little your little [ __ ] little thing that you just did right that oh i'm not in it why not how about this [ __ ] not all right they're doing a showtime right documentary on showtime about the comedy store yeah i've been there for 22 years if you look at the poster i'm not on the poster why not i don't know why who is who he is he's on the poster he's in there with richard pryor and all that stuff so i don't know why he's bitching right some people get stuff some people don't get stuff but we all get stuff at the end yeah good philosophy yeah but did you guys get paid to do the bert show yeah like what a hundred grand something like that something like that i i don't know yeah i don't it's nothing to do showtime showtime um let me have showtime they yeah yeah i heard that i heard that they gave you the network they gave them the network yeah yeah that's crazy dude yeah not really not when you look at my track record so i just yeah i'm going to be taking over show time that's really cool congratulations yeah yeah no yeah no [ __ ] congratulations bobby yeah and also uh cbs so uh you'll never get a job again on cbs ooh ooh burn [ __ ] you bobby [ __ ] me and my [ __ ] heritage i love you guys i'm going to go back to my set in beirut okay get some rest yeah get some get some rest and some water and uh have fun yeah do the movie good hey uh bobby have fun being up for the next 11 hours thank you i will i haven't had my first meal yet so i will have that that's awesome man okay and um thank you so much tom for being here i had a good time guys it was really fun thank you thank you that was great tom will you sign off will you look in the camera and say thank you for being a bad friend yeah yeah before we go right yeah everyone make sure you check out my friend's movie all right it's called the opening act thank you for being a bad friend in the opening act it's got ken jung bill burr everyone's in it yeah yeah me you're in it yeah a minute you played the waiter i'm the cop that's correct guess what yeah i get to do some fun cop [ __ ] yeah so um you know me and andrew auditioned for this opening up we didn't get the part but five times yeah we read five i went to producers you did i went to producers who who were you auditioning to be um jimmy young and ken jung's part they both picked me out yeah but it's a lot of aids but it's a funny it's a funny movie it's got great people in it bill burr tom segura yeah um i went out for bill burr's party yeah yeah and he didn't get it um i didn't get it it's fine you know hopefully one day steve will use me i actually i watched it the other day yeah and uh this is a weird thought to have yeah and but i'm being totally honest with you yeah yeah i enjoyed that you weren't in it [Laughter] like like at the end of the movie i was like i'm glad bobby wasn't good yeah yeah yeah yeah i was like okay so much better that's good thank you for being a bad friend all right i'm gonna choke you out now okay now all right bye bye bye [Music] yeah daddy i love you daddy why'd you die happy father's day daddy [Music] daddy i can fly [Music] daddy i miss you why are you dead daddy i need you laying in your bed daddy i love you why did you die yeah i'm sorry i took photos of you while you were dead and sent it to the hut since what is wrong with my head you were dead and then up without my iphone i can't believe i did that [ __ ] now i'm all alone daddy i love you [Music] why did you die [Music] [ __ ] you george yes

Channel: Bad Friends

Views: 726,687

Rating: 4.9083862 out of 5

Keywords: bobby lee, andrew santino, podcast, bad friends, comedy, tigerbelly, whiskey ginger, 2 bears 1 cave, tfatk, ymh, tpw, Bobby lee andrew santino, tom segura, bert kreischer, your moms house, stand up comedy, history hyenas, clips, funny moments, dad, theo von, reaction, tkats, puerto rican, erik griffin, riffin with griffin, workaholics, joe rogan, stand up, brilliant idiots, funny, w/ tom segura & bert kreischer, bill burr, billbert, bill bert, flagrant 2

Id: xmGdxbyCUcM

Length: 80min 20sec (4820 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 05 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Mymixedtapedidit]

Lol, "daddy why you die slaps"

[u/SUSH1CAKE]

Awesome episode. Always love to hear about Bobby's crazy late father.

[u/killmesara]

Do they mention in any episodes why andrew is the one in a remote location in these last couple of episodes with guests?

[u/nmchild]

This is great, and everyone should check it out!

[u/unitednihilists]

Booger walls

[u/auchvielegeheimnisse]

45 minutes in they talk about moving

[u/pow3llmorgan]

Bad Friends is great even if the hosts are drunken Irishmen and Korean man-babies.

[u/chi-guy91]

You ever come across a video on your phone, and it’s so good you don’t even bother stopping it to switch to the computer/tv/etc?

This is that video

[u/thebravo91]

With all the talk about moving did they confirm that Tom is moving? Or was that just a hypothetical?