NAME A PART OF MISS PIGGY THAT KERMIT LIKES TO SIT ON LIKE IT'S A LILY PAD. I'M GONNA SAY HER FACE. COME ON, KERMIT! COME ON, KERMIT! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! GO, KERMIT! GO, KERMIT! GO, KERMIT! YEAH. WE DOWN HERE WITH THE GROWN FOLK ANSWERS NOW. [LAUGHTER] IF STEVE HARVEY WERE REINCARNATED NAME AN ANIMAL HE'D COME BACK AS. A DONKEY. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] I'M A JACKASS? [LAUGHTER] YOUR BOSS JUST SAID "GET OUT, YOU'RE FIRED." WHAT MIGHT YOU DO BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE BUILDING? WELL, STEVE, THIS IS GONNA BE AFTER I LEAVE THE BUILDING, 'CAUSE I'M GONNA DRAG HIS ASS OUT TO HIS CAR, I'M GONNA KEY IT, THEN I'M GONNA THROW HIM THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD. [SCATTERED LAUGHTER] DRAG HIM OUT OF THE BUILDING, THROW HIM THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD, AND IF THE CUTS DON'T HURT HIM BAD ENOUGH, I'M CLIMBING IN AND STOMPING... NAME SOMETHING THAT SHOULD HAPPEN TO ALL MEN WHO CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES. SHOOT THEM. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] GET SNIPPED. GET IT CUT, GET IT CUT OFF. GET THEIR JUNK CUT OFF. [BOOS AND APPLAUSE] IT WASN'T WORKING OUT WITH US. WHY I HAVE TO GET IT REMOVED? [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] WE ASKED A 100 WOMEN. NAME SOMETHING SPECIFIC OF LEONARDO DICAPRIO'S YOU'D LIKE TO HOLD. THE MONA LISA, HIS PAINTING. GOOD ANSWER. GOOD ANSWER. THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD. IF THAT'S UP THERE, I'M GOING HOME. WE ASKED 100 WIVES. FILL IN THE BLANK. MY HUSBAND MAKES THE WORST NOISES WHEN HE'S... YOU SAID... HORNY? [LAUGHTER] AHHH... [LAUGHTER] UHHH...UHHH... CAW-CAW-CAW-CAW-CAW-CAW! SURVEY SAID... NAME SOMETHING WOMEN DO IN A SEXY WAY THAT MOST MEN DO NOT. LICK THEIR LIPS. OOH! GOOD ANSWER. LET'S SEE IT, DENISCHIA. COME ON. COME ON, GIRL. DON'T BE ASHAMED. LET ME SEE IT. [STEVE SCREAMS] [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] GIRL... YOU WANT A HOUSE? [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] LICK YOUR LIPS. [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] IF THEY SOLD A STEVE HARVEY COSTUME FOR HALLOWEEN, WHAT MIGHT IT COME WITH? A BIG NOSE. [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] GOOD ANSWER! GOOD ANSWER! I TELL YOU WHAT, I TELL YOU WHAT. BETTER NOT BE UP THERE. IF IT'S UP THERE, I'MA TEAR THE DAMN GAME BOARD DOWN. I TELL YOU WHAT. BE UP HERE. I'MA TEAR THIS WHOLE DAMN GAME BOARD DOWN. GO AHEAD. BIG-ASS NOSE. BE UP THERE. [SCATTERED LAUGHTER] BIG MAC, THERE'S A DEAD BODY IN YOUR HOUSE. WHAT YOU GONNA DO WITH IT? I'MA PROP IT UP IN A CHAIR, DRESS IT UP, TO LOOK LIKE IT'S-- ACT LIKE IT'S SLEEP. IT'S SLEEP, STEVE. ACT LIKE SLEEP. THAT'S MY ANSWER. I'M DRESSING IT UP LIKE IT'S SLEEP. SITTING UP IN THE CHAIR. YOU GONNA SET HIM UP IN THE CHAIR. DRESS HIM UP, SET HIM UP AND MAKE HIM JUST ACT LIKE HE'S ASLEEP. YEAH, LIKE HE'S CHILLING A LITTLE BIT, YEAH. YEAH. OH, HE CHILLING. CHILLING A LITTLE BIT. [LAUGHTER] NAME SOMETHING ANY WOMAN WOULD PREFER TO SEE A MAN HOLDING INSTEAD OF THE REMOTE. HIS PENIS. YOUR FAMILY BACK THERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU SAID, 'CAUSE YOUR MAMA DON'T KNOW. LOOK AT YOUR MAMA. SHE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. WELL, MAMA, AND YOUR GRANDMAMA RIGHT THERE, TOO. YOU SAID THAT IN FRONT OF YOUR MAMA AND YOUR GRANDMA? NO. SHE SAID HIS PENIS. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] ALL RIGHT, YOU READY? I'M READY. HEY, MAN, COME ON. YOU'RE SWEATING YOUR ASS OFF. I AM. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, MAN. I GOT YOU. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. YOU'RE THE MAN, STEVE. YOU'RE THE MAN. YEAH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] IF KING KONG WORE A FANNY PACK, WHAT MIGHT HE CARRY IN IT? A TOENAIL CLIPPER? [LAUGHTER] YUP. IT'S OFFICIAL. THEY DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THIS GAME HERE. ALL RIGHT, MAN. LET'S GO, DJ. NAME A PART OF HIS OWN BODY THE WORLD'S GREATEST CONTORTIONIST COULD KISS. STEVE, HIS PECKER. GOOD ANSWER! GOOD ANSWER! TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, I QUIT MY JOB. [LAUGHTER] PECKER. YAY! NAME THE MONTH WHEN YOU DO YOUR SPRING CLEANING. YOU SAID... [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] IT'S MY FAVORITE MONTH. THE MONTH OF SPRING. SURVEY SAID... AW. HOW YOU DOING, STEVE? GOOD TO SEE YOU. GOOD TO SEE YOU. [LAUGHTER] I'LL BE DAMNED IF I AIN'T LOOKING AT MY UNCLE. [LAUGHTER] IF THIS AIN'T A FAMILY MEMBER RIGHT HERE. YOU LOOK JUST LIKE MY COUSIN TIM. HEY, TIM? IF YOU WENT TO HELL, WHO WOULD YOU EXPECT TO SEE IN THE WELCOMING COMMITTEE? MY CHILDREN. [AUDIENCE "OHHs"] CAN I JUST GET THE "X"? GIVE ME THE "X"! I JUST WANT TO REMIND YOU THAT THEY'RE RIGHT THERE. [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] OH, AND NOW YOU'RE ALL HIGH-FIVING. NAME A PART OF A MAN'S BODY THAT IF HAIR WERE RIPPED FROM IT, IT MIGHT CAUSE HIM TO CRY. PENIS. [LAUGHTER] WHEN YOU--WHEN-- WHEN YOU--OK, TIME OUT. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] IT WOULD HURT. IT WOULD HURT. I HAD TO STOP BECAUSE I TEARED UP. [LAUGHTER] SURVEY SAID... [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] IMAGINE STEVE HARVEY IS SINGLE. TELL ME WHY HE SHOULD TAKE YOU ON A DATE. I'M HOT. [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] HE'S HOT. I WOULD SHOW YOU A GOOD TIME. [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] YEAH. AND YOU WIN. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] HUH? WHAT DOES SHE MEAN? MAKE LOVE. [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] CEDRIC, HOW YOU DOING, MAN? I'M DOING ALL RIGHT, STEVE. WHAT DO YOU DO? I AM AN AUTHOR AND I AM A MARATHON RUNNER. AND I DO SPEAKING. I TALK TO CORPORATE ENTITIES ABOUT RESILIENCY AND OVERCOMING OBSTACLES. OH, A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKING. ABSOLUTELY. WHAT MADE YOU GET INTO MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKING? WELL, IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND, I'D LIKE TO COME OUT THERE AND SHOW YOU. ALL RIGHT. I--I LOST BOTH MY LEGS IN AFGHANISTAN. OH, REALLY? [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] OH, I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO-- HEY. WELL, LOOK, HEY. OH, YOU A BAD BOY. I LOST BOTH MY LEGS IN AFGHANISTAN, SO, WHEN I SAY I RUN MARATHONS, IT'S NOT TO WEAR A MEDAL, IT'S TO--IT'S TO MAKE EVERYTHING ELSE A LITTLE BIT EASIER. OH, NO, YOU A COLD PIECE OF WORK, BOY. YEAH. YEAH! YEAH! [APPLAUSE] I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO DAP HIM, BUT I STILL AIN'T GONNA RUN NO MARATHON. [CEDRIC LAUGHS] WHAT'S HAPPENING, MAN? SO THIS IS A TRADITIONAL POLISH HIGHLANDER OUTFIT THAT WE'RE WEARING. POLISH? POLISH. FROM CHICAGO. SO WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE? Y'ALL PLAY INSTRUMENTS? WE DO. WE HAVE A FAMILY BAND. [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] WOULD YOU LIKE US TO PLAY YOU SOMETHING? HELL, YEAH! [PLAYING UP-TEMPO SONG] ♪ STANDING HERE IN THE U.S.A. BOBEKS CAME TO PLAY "THE FEUD" TODAY STEVE HARVEY, WHAT DO YOU SAY? CAN YOU SEND SOME CASH OUR WAY? HERE WE ARE GONNA WIN A BRAND-NEW CAR ♪ [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] YEAH! MR. STEVE HARVEY! GIVE IT UP TO THE BOBEK FAMILY! [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] MAN, THAT'S PRETTY GOOD, MAN.
