As you’re about to find out, the truth,
ironically, is quite ugly. One of my favorite topics in the WORLD is:
why on earth are we so drawn to some people and not so drawn or even put off by others? I’ve met people who seem perfect on paper,
yet I just.. Mhhh.. no. And then I’ve met people that haven’t
and I’ve been like: oh, I want to get to know YOU! How does that work? I don’t have the answer. This topic has been heavily studied, PLUS
I conducted my own small study on Instagram, PLUS I do have a hunch about how this whole
attraction thing works if I roll the tape of my life back and go analyse some of the
interactions I’ve had. This video is all three combined. I’ve left links for some of my holy grail
products and other recommendations that I’ll be mentioning in the description box. I want you to present your best self to the
world and to yourself. Looks matter a lot. Ignoring that fact doesn’t make it go away. Looks affect more or less every aspect of
our lives: our dating life, work life, how strangers treat us. We all know this. When we see someone attractive, we assume
they hold a bunch of other positive traits too, this is the halo effect. Everyone you meet judges the way you look,
and if you’re a human being, you judge others too, whether you like to admit it or not. Now, is looks genetics? Of course. I’m not trying to sugarcoat that. But it’s also more. More than just the symmetry of our face and
the colour of our eyes. In fact, much of what it is is in our control. 1. It’s the way we dress. In my very extensive, trustworthy Instagram
study with around 9000 participants, 73% said the way someone dresses affects their attractiveness;
24% answered it affects their attractiveness “a little” and 10% replied saying “not
really.” I’m part of the 73%. Look clean. BE CLEAN Look like you give a damn, and actually
GIVE a damn, and you’re off to an amazing start. Getting to know your body type, your colours
and your size to figure out what works for you can do wonders. Wear what fits your body shape right now,
don’t wear what fits the body shape you wish you were. Work with your strengths! Is it your shoulders? Calves? Waist? Height? Everyone has their strengths. Every single person. I started upgrading my wardrobe little by
little about a year ago and it’s crazy how feeling good in the right outfit can completely
change the way I carry myself. Some of my favourite staples that make me
personally feel really good are leather jackets, maxi skirts and jewelry, which, speaking of
jewelry, ladies and gentlemen alike – it can totally upgrade your looks. Even just a simple bracelet or small earrings. Accessories that beautiful body of yours. Put some icing on that cake. Wrap yourself as best you can and present
yourself to the world as the gift that you are. 2. Maintaining correct posture Will I mention posture in every other video? Yes, because it’s so important. Slouching completely changes the impression
someone is giving. Not only does it make you look more confident,
but it also makes you FEEL more confident. Try filming yourself when you’re sitting
down and slouching, and then film yourself when you straighten yourself and watch how
your whole demeanour changes. 3. Skin care Skin care, obviously. And for the love of god or whatever you believe
in, moisturise your lips. I always carry chapsticks around, I cannot
stand crusty lips. If I’m talking to someone with crusty, dry
flaky lips, it’s the only thing I can focus on. It happens to the best of us, but don’t
just let it be. 4. Hair HAIR can literally change your entire appearance. It’s actually unbelievable sometimes. Like when I have my hair straightened vs curled,
I feel like two completely different people. Straight-hair Lana makes me feel younger,
like a teenage version of myself. Wavy hair Lana makes me feel like OH she’s
HER! Don’t be afraid to be a bit experimental. I for one have tried shorter hair, like, shoulder
length, and I’ve realised, I don’t feel good in it. After all, that’s what is most important
– what makes you feel like your best self? 5. Grooming I have a feeling a patchy beard and overgrown
brows don’t make the top 3 list of things people find attractive. I feel and look cleaner when I’ve given
my brows a bit of a trim. 6. Health Do you know what attraction is? Basically, in a nutshell, it’s signs of
good health and good genes, so don’t overlook this one. Looking healthy. Acting healthy. Being as healthy as you can. Orally. Physically. Mentally. Spiritually. Emotionally. This is of course going to look different
for anyone because we’re all dealt different cards in life. 7. Confidence Speaking of confidence, universally one of
the most magnetic things that draws people in. I’ve made a couple videos talking about
confidence already so I’ll link them for you instead of repeating myself, but I’ll
say this: We all have areas in our lives that seem quite
difficult to deal with or to get started with. I know self-confidence has been a life-long
journey for me, and thanks in part to therapy, I’ve gotten a long way; longer than I probably
ever could’ve gotten on my own. No one should have to feel alone in their
thoughts or challenges, which is why I’ve chosen to partner with BetterHelp for this
video, and I’m so happy they wanted to be our sponsor today. BetterHelp offers licensed therapists who
are trained to listen and help you. Talk to your therapist in a private, online
environment at your convenience. There is a broad range of expertise in BetterHelp’s
20.000+ therapists network that gives you access to help that may not be available in
your area. You just fill out a questionnaire to help
assess your specific needs and then you get matched with the therapist in as little as
48 hours. Then you schedule secure video and phone sessions,
plus you can exchange unlimited messages and everything you share is completely confidential. With BetterHelp, you can request a new therapist
at no additional charge, anytime. Join the 3 million plus people who have taken
charge of their mental health with an experiences BetterHelp therapist. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/lana,
that’s better H-E-L-P. Also linked below in the description box. 7. Smelling good A lot of the things in this video are going
to seem obvious. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that
the obvious isn’t actually obvious. Simply showering, wearing deodorant and perhaps
one sprint of perfume or cologne. Or not, you know, smelling like nothing is
fine too. But smelling like you live in Mount Crumpit
with the Grinch? You don’t want people remembering you by
your poor hygiene? Do you? DO YOU? 8. A good attitude Seriously. A good attitude looks good on anyone, and
a bad one will make anyone look bad. Negativity is unattractive. This could be things like complaining, victim
mentality, gossiping. I’m obviously not talking about having an
off-day which we all have or being clinically depressed, I’m talking about being chronically
stuck in a cycle of negativity that isn’t due to a medical condition. This isn’t about being all bubbly and outgoing
and saying hi to everyone you walk past. Not at all. You don’t even need to say anything necessarily;
your demeanour will say it all. A joy for life can be seen in people's eyes. People pick up on it. We pick up on it by the way someone walks,
the way they talk, the way they carry themselves and by how genuine their smile is. If you feel good about yourself, it’ll show. It’s magnetic. As opposed to someone who walks around all
dark and moody and thinks the world hates them. When I’m having a bad attitude, I don’t
even want to be around myself. It’s tiring, it’s off-putting and if I
was anybody else, I wouldn’t want to be around that either. I guess a good way to sum this one up would
simply be: people who look approachable, which I don’t look, because I have a RBF, but
I think walking around with a white teddy bear makes me look more approachable. 9. Humour In my Instagram not Harvard study about what
people found attractive, one word kept popping up: humour. Someone who’s not too easily offended. Someone who can take a joke and throw one
back at you. Someone with wit. Someone who picks up on your sarcasm. We’re attracted with people who makes us
feel relaxed and like we can be ourselves; humour is part of that. 10. Mannerisms Also, not surprisingly, a frequently recurring
answer in my study. Personal story coming through: You know when people stand outside and hand
out fliers? Once upon a time, I was on a date with someone,
and we walked past a girl who was handing out flyers. And the guy I was out on the date with was
just like “NOPE”. Instant turnoff. A simple “no thank you” would’ve been
better. So, yeah, using those little words that mean
so much can definitely influence how we feel about someone. Do they say “excuse me?”, do they say
“please?”, do they hold the door? Are they aware of their surroundings? OR do they walk around like everyone owes
them something? It’s obvious which one’s more attractive. Should I make a part two of this video? I feel like ai have so much more to say but
time is running out. Let me know in the comments.
