10 Ways a husband can be harsh with his wife

what are some ways that men could be domineering I'll run through a list of a way 10 ways that men could be harsh with their wives number 1 domineering and controlling domineering and controlling some men are high control very little freedom for the wife number 2 making more withdrawals than deposits you need to understand that relationships are like bank accounts encouragement love appreciation thank you that was awesome I really appreciate you those are deposits criticisms Corrections those are withdrawals if you make a lot more withdrawals than you do deposits your wife will see you as harsh and unloving and the only time the guy ever says anything is what'd I do wrong do I do anything right number three physically a man can be shoving intimidating overbearing all of which is abusive some men get really close to their wife and they're intense this is where your wife is sitting down so you get up and you're over her physically all of that's abusive it's harsh verbally yelling name-calling cursing barking especially in front of the children raising the volume no no that's that's not that's loving that's unloving that's that's harsh and I could just sense it some of you grew up in at home and I just reminded here your dad and don't be that man and don't raise kids that feel like that a father could have authority without volume and he gets it through love publicly humiliating some men will be harsh with their wives by cutting her down in front of others social media provides an endless opportunity for this honey why do you post photos of other women on your social media page why do you say those things harsh unloving sometimes a man can be harsh with his wife by not distinguishing between sins and mistakes Jesus died for sins mistakes happen we're imperfect they meant I'll give you an example from our house so we lived at a dead end there was a pretty busy street around the corner and then a really busy street around the corner from there and there was a Krispy Kreme donut they put it in just for us and so I appreciate that so we would take the kids to Krispy Kreme and I would throw the kids in my Jeep and take him to Krispy Kreme and one of my sons said hey Dad I want a jeep too so we bought him a little plastic battery-powered Jeep and I'm studying up in my office above the garage right here this clunk clunk clunk that's weird I look down here's my little boy in his plastic Jeep leaving the neighborhood he's lefty he's left our house and he's going down the street and he's like you know it's like signaling to then jump on the highway so I run down the road and I was like where he going but he's like I'm going to Krispy Kreme I'll be back later wait a minute little buddy we go to Krispy Kreme in my Jeep you do not go to Krispy Kreme in your Jeep that's how we do this I realize I got a free-range boy I got a I got a I'm gonna lock him in so what I decided was I needed to get one of those big bull gates to go over the driveway so that my son would not escape and his Jeep so I had a custom ordered this really long rolling fence with the wheels and got it all set up and I pulled it and I forgot to tell grace the game was pulled and she always drives Suburbans cuz I love her and in a wreck I want her to win and so I always buyers a large vehicle so she's back so she throws the kids in the car and she's backing up well the fence is too low it's in her blind spot so she backs up in the suburban whoo oh right into the gate bends the whole thing messes up the wheels I didn't know this till she comes in the house and looks at me high I was like what did you do you know this muscat 'no Smuts equate to something horrible happening right because you're coming at me with all your spidey senses and I'm disarmed I got you know so cute and so I said well what happens is like never guess what happened she's like I I the car in the fence like what so I go out yep they're both yeah okay was that a sin or a mistake mistake it was my mistake because I didn't tell grace that I pulled the fence it was her mistake cuz she didn't see it but it's not a sin some of you guys like it was over a thousand bucks that's a sin no no it's it was an expensive mistake it's expensive mistake okay there's a difference between sins and mistakes mistakes are gonna happen you can seem unloving and very harsh if all that sudden you're you're constantly frustrated just over mistakes and mistakes happen a couple others ways that men can be harsh and unloving a contractual not covenant aliyou of marriage so you're at work all day you're like I got employees and I get in job descriptions my giving performance reviews and I fire the ones who don't meet expectations and then I go home and I get my wife and I give my kids all their job descriptions and we do performance reviews and I try to fire them but they don't leave okay that's contractual contractual is for work covenantal is for home many stupid things I've said to my wife one of the dumbest things I've ever said told this before I looked here one day we were arguing and I said if you work for me I'd fire you she said that's the problem I don't work for you and she said you're wrong you think wrong about I was like you know what bank dropped the mic the wife Linds she's right I brought I brought a contractual view into the marriage she's not my employee she's my wife okay she's my friend then we can we can bring a contractual view home and that's harsh and unloving how about this one number eight non-relational merge style unloved aloof detached unloving just not not relational yeah he goes to work he's in his garage he watches TV and then he goes to bed I mean and then he says submit to the guy I don't even know you know there's no relationship here it's a very non relational marital style how about this one you're just not fun alright cuz there's that you're like we were dating we had fun and then we got married there was no more fun some of you guys are just not fun you're not fun at all you're stressed you're overworked you're depressed you're freaked out you're cheap right you got to be more fun that's an order I command it okay you got to be more fun right ladies how many ladies it would be a little easier to live with a guy who knew how to make memories fun laugh a little bit spend some money date night lighten up can I get a Amen sister okay not too bad you know we're not ready to collect an offering but it's a start okay here's what it says in Ecclesiastes 99 enjoy life with the wife whom you love it's having a little bit of fun and then number 10 it's men who are inconsiderate make a decision not thinking about the implications on the wife and/or the kids right we're gonna do this no wait you don't understand you know how much work that is I found this out we have five kids I told grace hey let's go on vacation she's like I never go on vacation I pack five kids we go somewhere they all throw up they get stung by a bee they can't sleep they get diarrhea they almost drown and they need to eat it's not a vacation for me okay now she didn't say it like that that was my interpretation but but it dawned on me yeah we go on vacation but she doesn't really get a vacation and if I don't consider her in these plans then I'm thinking we're having a great time but I haven't really considered her and all that she has to do so let me say this how many of you were single single single single single some of you're single you're like whoa I was feeling bad that I was single and I'm feeling good that I'm single okay so if you're a gal don't marry a guy unless he loves God he considers you he's your friend he's gonna look out for you he has your best interest at heart and if you're a guy don't marry a gal thinking gosh she never listens she fights at least she argues it's just always conflict okay then that might not be the one if some things need to change

Channel: Real Faith by Mark Driscoll

Views: 32,679

Rating: 4.8632073 out of 5

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Id: QxKZaIc1w_o

Length: 8min 36sec (516 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 05 2017