You Don't Actually Need a Menu

[Music] so it's like see so it's like the but it's difference got comics and chats and stuff too did you guys get my invite to my birthday yeah yeah I'm so sorry you guys shouldn't have gotten that so you can just a Signori times getting to be oh yeah we should probably order food if we're gonna be here all night yeah let's do it you guys want Chinese yeah oh yeah what's do Ming Moon they close in five minutes though so just how much you want to order I'll call it it uh all of the General Tso's combo sorry do they have a menu yeah I mean theoretically they have one but you know it's a Chinese food restaurant so they have you know Chinese food well let me just look at that and then I can decide okay well they're not on Yelp so there is no menu to look at but even if there was you know it's it's Chinese food right I mean you wouldn't need a menu for ordering pizza we are we getting pizza cuz that I definitely need to see a menu no we're not ordering pizza we have exactly four minutes until this place closes all right we're not gonna pit 'aa and even if we were none of you should need a menu right it's the same toppings always forever everywhere and we should all know generally what we like by now you're not sure come to think of it I really would love to take a look at a menu cuz what if I want to change things up grant if you want to live out in some fantasy world where you make new and exciting decisions be my guest but we all know when the chips are down you're getting beef and broccoli pork fried rice and an egg roll like you always do what if they don't have General Tso's that they will have general South's but what if they don't if they don't I promise you that they will have something exactly like General Tso's I just don't know what I want unless they pick it off the menu okay okay okay that's fine that's totally fine here's what you can do using the power of your imagination construct a menu in your mind's eye consisting of all the Chinese food meals you've enjoyed over your long lives then using mental menu tell me what you want to order what if they don't have dumplings what if they don't have dumplings yes God above is my witness grant they will have dumplings are they on the menu cuz be really rude to ask if it wasn't on the menu menus are for cowards and simpletons traps persons of character look in their heart and know what they want to order you always know what you want to order I haven't looked at a menu in 24 years [ __ ] try me ha Patsy you Thai iced tea India she can take him a solid garlic Thai chicken pork or chicken chicken piccata go to hell you first genie grants you three wishes world's greatest sorcerer and you magic lamp reading for the first gene you're at a diner where you can mix and match many send page excuse burger deluxe medium well bacon and grilled onions waffle fries chocolate milk beef broth Lee pork fried rice tentacle I knew it just slime mean a number one and number three and number five and number seven a wonton soup and an egg roll for pickup thank you so much have a great night you [ __ ] you know technically an egg rolls of sandwich oh go to hell hey guys it's Brennan from CollegeHumor click here to subscribe click here for more fun stuff and please keep watching because if you stopped watching I start to vanish forget it I'm not really real I'm just

Channel: CollegeHumor

Views: 2,629,408

Keywords: Collegehumor, CH originals, comedy, sketch comedy, internet, humor, funny, sketch, menus, panic, procrastination, food, shaming, bullying, restaurants, phone calls, horrible people, pizza, that’s the point, brennan lee mulligan, mike trapp, grant o’brien, rekha shankar, hardly working

Id: k5oL4QKb6Sk

Length: 3min 38sec (218 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 07 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/Kins97]

you shouldnt be ordering from somewhere thats closing in 4 minutes anyway your just forcing them to stay open later to fulfill your order

[u/paternoster]

Great video! College humour really is pretty damn good.

[u/poland4evr]

I just love Brennan, my favorite CH person

[u/Shenaniganz08]

Humor ? This was just annoying.

Why would anyone put up with this when ordering for a group.

"You don't know what to order, that's cool we are just gonna order without you, you can order on your own"

Also check out the blatant CH astroturfers in this thread

[u/imacomputr]

This is genius.