Yes, Mrs. Smith, I Can F***ing Read! | r/ProRevenge | #325

hey everybody rob here it's time for another story from the pro revenge archives yes mrs. Smith I can hang read let's jump right in thank you for subscribing and if you haven't yet hit that subscribe button for more daily reddit stories please forgive the necessary back story I don't know why but for some reason the teachers and administrators who ran my strict Catholic elementary school decided that I was lying about my reading and writing abilities yeah look I don't get it I really don't every year I'd start the semester having to prove I was actually doing my own English homework they could never prove I was cheating so they eventually settled on measuring me against the smartest girl in the class Kathy I hated Kathy here's an example of this comparison business we've been assigned a book to read we read the first chapter aloud in class I like the book so I take it home and finish it whoop-dee-doo next day we're supposed to read the second chapter in our designated reading time given that I could usually read a book or two a day a chapter doesn't take long so I read it and then I was done I start reading my own book Opie were reading book right now read your book later I read it uh-huh then read it again so I did she stood there and watched me and then said I said to read the chapter Opie I did I said read not skim I did read it Kathy what page are you on um 15 mm okay Opie Kathy is the best reader in the class if she's not past page 15 then neither are you and that was that I was too shy and embarrassed to really protest so I didn't I just stare and stare at the same page until Kathy turned her page and then I turned mine this was agonizingly boring and it happened almost every day after about five or six years of this issue I was pretty pissed about it year after year semester after semester day after day told that I couldn't read as well as Kathy when reading was the only King thing I was absolutely sure I was good at it ate at me rage and humiliation and frustration and just a lot of self hate for not being able to speak up to force the issue to the point where I could prove I was a good reader it stung and in the fifth grade I finally saw it vengeance you see my school did this thing called accelerated reading which was fancy talk for get kids to read a book and take a quiz on it for points they enforced it by making it a part of our English grade each student had a minimum set of points they need to make by the end of the year they made a competitive by offering a pizza party to the class of the school's top reader the top reader every ping year was Kathy Oh whoever had Kathy in their class my grade had four classes so the winning class varied oh so loved having Kathy in their class the end of the year pizza party was a shoe-in to whoever had Cathy after all she was so smart so good at reading she only needed to make a base score to pass you know but Kathy loved to achieve so much that she would usually make double that score so impossible to beat her she really loved reading you know you might be wondering uh Opie if you so good at reading why didn't you over achieve and kick her up three reasons one apathy I gave up trying in school a long time ago largely because of my teachers too I was one of the students that had to be supervised to make sure I didn't cheat I never [ __ ] cheated you bet okay okay mmm thanks to this I was too embarrassed to ask to take the tests until the last semester three first through fourth graders were locked into tests on books on their reading level solid idea in theory preventing kids from cheating the system and guessing their way through high point value tests instead of reading but do you want to know how many points of King Hank the cow dog book two three if you're lucky and that was the high end of point value for those reading levels most were in the half points if I wanted to pass I had to read about 10 to 15 kid books and god I was so far beyond that by that point so yeah combined with my general lack of facts I'd usually wait till the last minute and then take all the tests at once and just barely scrape a pass this probably didn't help with my teachers poor impression of my reading level come to think of it but fifth graders fifth graders had free reign to take any test they wanted any test any test at all I remember looking at my English syllabus on the first day of school and seeing that holy blessed freedom I looked up at the back of Cathy's head in the class across the hall I could win but then I realized I could do better than when I could destroy her destroy her and prove once and for all who the Alpha reader in the school was I could destroy her and show stupid mrs. Smith and mrs. James that they were being wrong I could read I was the best reader I could do it but I needed patience I couldn't let anyone know what I was up to I couldn't tip my hand too early and drive the competition up see at this time Cathy's highest score was 45 points she fully intended to make at least 80 points for her last year and the other kids were properly competing now that any book was game the final pizza party was on the line after all I didn't want anyone realizing a new contender was in the ring I wanted my victory to be a landslide I knew it could be a landslide with the arsenal of books I'd read over the years so I waited I didn't take any AR test despite my teachers urging and punishing me for failing to meet my quarterly minimums I suffered embarrassment timeouts from recess loss of field trips for low grades my parents can fusion but nothing could move me from the plan my score stayed at zero Cathy exceeded her own expectations finishing the year with 92 points I remember the last Friday the last day to take tests and my classmates struggling to get even half as many points as her the next kid in line had 60 points me I was still at zero just as planned after school instead of going to the homework room in after-school care I went to the library with mrs. Riley to take my AR test since I still had to be supervised this was fine I needed a witness I started taking tests I took all of the tests every book I'd ever read that was available to be tested I tested all of the baby-sitters club all of Sweet Valley High all the Nancy Drew the Hardy Boys the great Illustrated classics the unabridged versions of those same books every Jack London novel all of those dive and Everest survival books the three Harry Potter books that were out all of the Calvin and Hobbes and Garfield comics I even took tests on freakin goosebumps Animorphs The Magic Tree House and all of those Hank the cow dog books those are just the series I read loads of standalone books and tested on them I can't even freaking remember them all every goddamn book I had ever read I tested it took hours about one hour in mrs. Riley tried to stop me but I shocked both of us when I very firmly told her no I'm not stopping until I'm done I'd never spoken to an adult like that in my life it doesn't sound like much but I was the quietest shyest most pathetic thing when it came to adults especially teachers I barely looked up at them later my father came to pick me up I told him I had to take all of these tests mrs. Riley told my dad that I'd passed I was fine grade wise he tried to make me leave I wasn't having it for the second time I managed to speak up for myself I ended up standing on chair screaming at my dad I'm not leaving until I win I told him I had to make the highest score I had to win I couldn't leave until I'd won I think I was crying almost hyperventilating he never seen me act like this and didn't know what to do except to let me take the test mrs. Reilly and my dad let me take tests until about midnight at that point the program locked itself no more tests could be taken the year's competition was over I could see my score and I was laughing and crying and just a big mess mrs. Reilly just hugged me writing this out now she was seriously cool to actually stay so late and let this sobbing mess of a child do this my incredibly concerned but kinda proud dad took me home I couldn't wait for Monday you see they announced the winners of the AR competition over the intercoms to the whole school I'd timed my victory perfectly by keeping a zero my name was never added to the school scoreboard by waiting until the last day to test the board wasn't updated with my score Cathy was still the victor as far as anyone knew no one knew the truth no one but mrs. Reilly mrs. Reilly who was in charge of the contest as the librarian and knew I'd won legitimately I spent the entire morning hour with the biggest King grin on my face I grinned through prayer through the pledge through the unrelated announcements I was so excited I left when the principal started reading the AR winners my classmates clearly thought I was nuts my teacher King mrs. Smith who was by far and above the worst teacher I'd ever had kept shushing me I could not be shushed Cathy was in the class across the hall I could see her back and the confident faces of her classmates as they waited for the announcement of their inevitable victory and then it happened the second place winner is Cathy in Class B with 92 points my classmates gasped the class across the hall gasped Kathy actually jerked with shock and the winner is Opie and Class C with a grand total of 458 points I kinda want to end it there but you guys need to know what happened next nothing ain't nothing my classmates my teacher the class across the hall many of whom had come to their door and were staring at my eating grin were silent you could hear a pin drop every rustle of uniform sweet glorious shock six eight years half of my life at that age and they all thought I was stupid that I was slow mrs. Smith mrs. James mrs. Riley all wrong I won and none of them saw it coming it was amazing mrs. Smith thought I cheated of course but I had mrs. Riley and finally my parents as backup and now I need to pause because well as you might assume there's more to this story than just a little misunderstanding about my reading level this petty revenge was the highlight of these years but it was far from the only problem I had early puberty childhood depression and my shy friendless nature made me a particularly juicy target for bullying and in hindsight pretty extreme sexual harassment from my peers and older students alongside that many of my bullies were children of the administration who weren't keen on their children getting in trouble so while I'm focusing solely on one particular problem here just sort of remember that it's the surface of my problems not the meat because the confidence I gained from completing this plan and earning the are and respect of my classmates finally gave me the strength to tell my parents what was happening to me how I was being harassed how my teachers treated me they transferred me out immediately giving me the greatest exit any bullied child could dream of a big bang proving once and for all that those bastards were wrong about me beating Cathy who thinking on it now didn't do anything but exist to be everything I supposedly wasn't and I kind of feel bad for ruining her moment and blowing the whistle on my bullies I left behind legacy of my passing last I heard it took the rest of the Harry Potter books and some serious dedication for another fifth grader to beat my record over a decade later this story hits home for me on so many levels I was the bullied kid back in elementary school I also love to read and we would have reading competitions where we had to record our minutes mine would always be about three times higher than everybody else I love this story Thank You ope it brought back some great memories for me I want to thank Opie for posting their story to the pro revenge subreddit you can visit them at the links in the description below please go there and give them an upvote once again this is rob from karma comment Cameleon saying thanks for watching if you enjoyed the video please hit that subscribe button drop a like and share it with your friends and we'll see you in the next one you

Channel: Karma Comment Chameleon

Views: 63,892

Rating: 4.9147892 out of 5

Keywords: karma, comment, chameleon, karma comment chameleon, reddit, funny, funny reddit, reddit funny, r/entitledparents, entitledparents, entitled parents, entitled, parents, top posts, reddit top post, best of reddit, comedy, r/, rslash, r/prorevenge, prorevenge, pro revenge, reddit revenge

Id: 6ZePydZNtu0

Length: 14min 38sec (878 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 04 2020