Women Confess Their Biggest Secrets

I feel guilty all the time I feel guilty and I'm like man he should just he should be with someone [Music] else it's just not [Music] fair [Music] I'm sleeping with my best friend's ex if this is your secret and you'd like to claim it you can step forward on three one 2 3 I think it's pretty self-explanatory I don't really have anything else to share to it you want to share today cuzz I want to tell her and I just don't know how so I figured might as well get in a video and show her sorry Haley so my last ex-boyfriend left me for another girl in my friend group and then my current boyfriend right now was one of his friends talking things out like is the best form of anything I helped a loved one with a credit card fraud so I was on Tinder one day and I was just scrolling through and I see this guy we started talking and he was just kind of joking around I was like what do you do for a living he was like I rob banks I was like cool do you need like an assistant and he was like yeah and I met up with him and um he was for real he was like Hey help me and we'll make like 5K a day blah blah blah I was like sick with it I'm trying to quit my job I hate it there turns out um he was a meth smoker and I was like cool you know do your thing whatever and um I ended up getting secondhand high off of it and I didn't real I was I I I didn't realized that that's what was going on I was just like oh this guy is cool you know he's he's a rapper and he got it Tesla oddly enough the way that I got out of it was he ghosted me and his name is Donovan if you ever see him tell him I said I better not catch him in the street girl you go share the secret today to avoid any girls going through what I went through I was stupid enough to do it you know it's a shame no one should go through [Music] that [Applause] I don't feel like I'm going to go to heaven when I die oh that sound I'm sorry I'm just nervous oh no I feel like I about to start crying I was in a church for like four years and um I don't know I felt like I was there and found a family but it just felt like I was there for people when I decided to leave that was like the first thing that reminded me was that once I left the church I left God and when I leave God that means I'm going to hell and part of me kind of believes them like I don't deserve a spot in heaven because I don't do anything to build my place there if that makes sense sorry hi hello hey girl I'm sorry there's nothing to be sorry for we're here with you tears there's healing and tears okay what helped me was thinking and knowing that I there is something out there there is a God there is a heaven or whatever you want to believe in but nobody would tell you what it is but you know you're not alone thank you enough I'm in love with my best friend but I don't want to risk losing our friendship all right the author has decided not to claim the secret but if you would like them to know that they're not alone you may step forward on three okay one two [Music] three this Happ happened uh I had met my friend in seventh grade and I fell in love with them and since I was a girl and she was a girl I didn't let her know only to then get outed my mom found out my family found out I remember walking past her and just not talking to her I forgave her over time but the funny thing is that she did end up dating another girl in college so so that's friendships for me yes I've been married for 6 years and I'm still a virgin it's really embarrassing um I have been married to my husband uh for six years and and we um well I have never had sex um I have a very skewed sorry a very skewed view on sex um a lot of sexual abuse I never had a healthy View uh of sex I never got the chance and then you know through a little bit of therapy because I am a Christian this whole time there's this big view of like this big lie of like you you need to save yourself for marriage you know and then on your wedding night like that's it and then I got married and on my way night like that didn't happen and I was like so ashamed and my um like my family God bless them but they you know made comments of like you know cuz I want my kids's name to be Gracie like when are we going to see little Gracie around like and so I have a lot of pressure and my husband most amazing dude in the World he's been so patient and um I feel guilty all the time I feel guilty and I'm like man he should just he should be with someone else cuz I can't give him that I hope I get there cuz I want to have kids so bad cuz it's like how come everybody else gets to do this but I can't it's just not fair that's it yeah I'm sorry no it's okay gross don't be sorry it's what you're feeling honestly love sex is not love love is something completely different and if you didn't prove that today I don't know what will so I've been married for the past 6 years and nobody in my family knows I've never had sex with my partner I don't want to C our marriage is based out of friendship and it's soly that it means the world to you right my parents are are going to kill me I decided to keep it a secret because it's easier to live without people telling you what's right and what's wrong sex you can have it with anybody belov you only find one and if people understood that connections come with mind come with feelings six wouldn't be viewed as such a necessary thing to make a connection with someone and if you never conceive it believe best not he loves you more than what sex would have brought him [Music] [Applause] mhm say you guys changed my life we love you just knowing I'm not alone I once stayed in a relationship because my partner said that I was the reason she wasn't going to kill herself when I was 14 and just starting High School I was doing a lot of theater yeah I had a little sparkling of a showmance she disclosed that I was the only person keeping her from killing herself and as a 14-year-old like you know you don't you don't know really what to do in that situation when you're handling things so heavy that You' just never dealt with before and I completely destroyed my relationship with my family like I just risked it all for this person I I felt the obligation to protect them and to care for them and to be their you know safety vest yeah they were my first boyfriend I was 14 they were 17 and it was really hard because I felt that that was tied to them you know and being 14 I just thought like well I have to stay with this person I kind of did the same thing but I felt like I did it more out of pity there was a saying that kind of like stuck with me for a long time and it was the whole um you can lead a camel to water but you can't force it to drink you can only help someone so much and and then you have to walk away you can't die because someone else is dying in front of you you know right so in middle school I was bullied for being sexually assaulted and rumors spread saying that I wanted it when um I was a little girl I became this is harder than I thought I became entangled in a friendship that very shortly became very unhealthy quite fast the whole relationship just ruined how I saw my body and just my interactions with people in general when I got to middle school I had a crush on this guy who was so cute when you see somebody you can see that they've shared a similar experience I saw that in this boy and I he was like the first person who I like kind of can find and to tell I was like oh my God finally somebody who has this understanding I feel like a breath of fresh air like I can do this and the next day the whole school knew about what had happened to me um in detail and I was bullied really really bad because the sexual assault happened by a woman which was seen so differently of like she wanted it like she wanted it to happen because it wasn't a man and my life just became ruined after that experience and it was like that was like the dark Doom that like started my life kind of falling apart but that whole experience really traumatized me and affects me to this day and it's something that I continue kind of to go through so personally I was uh physically abused by women so I understand where you're coming from I'm so sorry that you know it became like this big old thing in your life where it's like you felt like you couldn't escape it thank you when I was 20 I got an abortion without telling my parents yeah so I'm 22 now um I had an abortion with my ex-boyfriend at the time I'm longer with that partner and I'm not going to lie he did say that afterwards uh after he got me pregnant he mostly saw me as a friend than a girlfriend which is like such a dog thing to say I don't know if you're watching this sorry I might want to cut that I'm thankful to be living in California and to have access to those Services despite having gone through the experiences of being heckled outside the Planned Parenthood and the day after my abortion I ended up going to the ER I had to do an ultrasound that was an internal ultrasound and my technician told me that it would have been easier to keep the baby than to have gone through with all that I was going through um which was really not what I needed to hear in that moment um regardless I was able to get through it and I was able to patch up my relationship with my family and more than anything else they were sad that they couldn't have been there for me um going through it all I'm saying this now because I hope I can help someone else feel a little less Alone um and that this is okay to go through there's no shame in it thank you guys for being [Music] you so all of my God [Music] [Music] my secret was I was molested by a close family member and I cannot forgive him my dad was very abusive to my mom and to us and it was the night before New Year's and he had just gotten out of jail it just just didn't help the fact that we shared the room so when he did what he did it shattered my life entirely it made me run away from my home several times cuz I was fearing every time he got out relas the released from jail that he would do the same thing over and over again and I feel so alone cuz I have half of my family blaming me for not saying anything and I have another part of my family where I clueless and love them or just protect them and it hurts me to this day knowing that I can't step into that house without being scared I felt like I had to share this because if I didn't share it here I would have never spoken up about it I don't have the guts to talk to them in person because I don't want anything to happen to them while I'm there and I know that's selfish but I feel like I at least deserve that peace and that Tranquility in my life even if it's alone thank [Music] you

Channel: Jubilee

Views: 553,037

Keywords: jubilee, jubilee media, jubilee project, middle ground, spectrum, odd man out, versus 1, embrace empathy, live deeper, love language, blind devotion, Odd One Out, Game Show, Dating Show, Nectar, Ask Me Anything, Gen Z, Millennial, loveprint, jason y lee

Id: zDjojYHdVVA

Length: 17min 45sec (1065 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 14 2024