Married Couples Get Brutally Honest | Split Decision

feel like I haven't really been tended to a lot self-care wise and he has I mean all he needs is his haircut you could teach me how to do it I do it for you but you want to go to the I want go I want the experience found some good I found some good because I can cut hair I can trim his beard I can do his eyebrows if he wants me to would you let her do that no uh we tried once with the eyebrows and I ended up with one whatever no he didn't is there anything more sacred than marriage I'm kot Takahashi and in today's episode of Split Decision we're focusing on eternal love the goal of split decision is to be as honest as you can be no matter what I want you to know this is a safe space you might not like everything that you're going to hear but with honesty comes Unity are you guys ready for show the first prompt is my partner's family has caused issues in our relationship make your split decisions in three 2 1 go ahead and turn around okay so Joshua you're on yes yeah Elena's parents have uh caused some issues I I don't want to get in it's her family right and so I don't want to get into anything specific or anybody specific but there's been a couple times now I would say where maybe some things happened between her and her family and that bleeds into our relationship and kind of causes some turmoil there that we both end up realizing would not have been there if if it wasn't for that outside influence you know specifically my son having or not knowing his family members and that that hurts me I'm learning that I'm going to speak up and say hey this hurts and I would like if you guys put some effort cuz I'm tired of always putting the effort you said your son doesn't know his family members yeah they they're like strangers to him basically I don't know as a mother if any of my children said they were hurting like say with the death of a parent wouldn't you want to console them I didn't get that that's what I'm saying I don't I don't get that from any any of my blood relatives and it hurts I it's just good to know that I have him and I have my son that that's on my team thank you that's beautiful my name is Joshua and I'm 28 years old my name is Elena and I'm 30 years old and we've been married just over 2 years can I be in the middle I yeah I saw you kind of going back and forth there he has a lot of turmoil on his end of his side of the family like he calls there for the comfort and it's just like he doesn't get that it me up him up and it's just like I don't know he doesn't get the attention that he earns for and he needs because I mean we're by ourselves here I have a father in rehab a mother that's starting a new family with a stepdad so I got to kind of you know make my make my own wave like I'll be the first one to graduate college from the family house and just kind of all went different paths that's why I moved out when I was like 18 so like every everything moves pretty pretty fast but we're making it work making our own family my name is Haley and I'm 21 years old hello my name is Daniel I'm 22 years old and we have been married for for 2 years so luuka you're standing on yes yeah it's not a surprise um we've had like really major issues um and if they saw this they would know they they know what they've done I hope they feel remorse but there's just instances in which there was a lot of interference into our relationship they tried their hardest to make our relationship end why did they want your relationship to end basically they really didn't like and couldn't come to terms with the fact that like he's my family and that like he's the one that I want to pour into like he's my first call and so I think that that just LED them on like this Rampage of trying to make it all burn down and it's made us so much stronger but have we not been as strong like that could have been what ended us and what took away like this beautiful life our home our marriage like exactly so that was definitely deeply affected our relationship but we now like doesn't as much we've moved move forward my name is Luca I'm 25 I'll be 26 next month and I'm ji I'm 26 and we've been married for eight months has there been any other sort of outside influences that has sort of um disapproved of your marriage I don't oh yeah where we come from in West Virginia there's a bunch of very racist yeah very racist people very rednecks hillbillies that type stuff very weird those people are cut off they have not been spoken to they got those messages to me and we're not responded to but and is this something that caused strain in your family a lot of people had a lot of stuff to say but like she said we pushed do that stuff like friends or not not not necessarily friends but where we're from it's a very small community so a lot of a lot of people see you and on a daily basis and they have a lot of lot of stuff to say and and if they see it's likees alarm like being with a white person yeah I got a bunch of messages for from people that didn't even attend our wedding or didn't even have anything to do with us at all distant relatives and it was just like are you sure that this is what you want to do are you sure that that you're interested in this type of Life type of thing and it was just differences and they thought that that would have an impact and it didn't he's the person that I love and he's the one that I married and I said yes to him so we're here just a second you're watching this and you're not subscribed to Jubilee go on I'm giving you three seconds okay go ahead here we go ready one 2 3 you subscribed the next prompt is if I caught my partner cheating I would give them a second chance make your split decisions in three 2 2 one okay go ahead and turn around interesting every single person I'm definitely passionate about it because in Prior relationships I've always been cheated on so I came into this marriage that was like dealbreaker that and any form of abuse I will definitely leave and sex I take it so seriously we both waited into marriage to have um sex so and she told me this from day one so I knew it you know it was part of the whole dating process like a non-starter for her if I ever went down that role but as I told her I went into the marriage with the mindset to stay committed and that's what we're going to do it so yeah yeah hi it's Randy 43 years old hi my name is shaie I'm 33 years old and we've been married for a little over a year you all took an oath right to love each other through anything support each other through anything so is there no circumstance where let's say your partner cheated on you that you would be able to forgive them and you know keep the relationship going yeah correct there's no circumstances no circumstances because I feel like if somebody cheats you've already broken the oath and like I also feel like there's a lot of things that happen before somebody cheats so there's if you if somebody's willing to do all these things break the oath you can't be like we have an oath though no you don't you broke it now there's no oath like now we're justed you so it's about that respect for your partner it's about that communication too CU like you can respect and love your partner and be unsatisfied and be like I'm not satisfied like can we figure out how to satisfy each other instead yesterday exactly literally yesterday we were chilling we were like you need to go to your partner and say like hey I'm not sexually satisfied so are we opening up our marriage are you now like watching porn like what is what's happening because I think it extremely poor communication to cheat just break up like you know cuz or fix it would anyone here be open to having a threesome with their partner let me pop my ankle go let get it ready I know that he would feel some excitement of me like touching a Coter or just me just like being with a female because just like I said before we're both very comfortable with each other he is my other part of me so if we want to have fun we'll have fun so you guys would have a three-way if if it happened but he would not touch her oh okay no wait what let me just say just me it's just me because he's even said it himself he has no intention of touching another female he has no intention of being there he just would like to he would just like to see it yes sir yes sir just like him wait wait what you what is that wait what is that what is that what is that but so you have but you haven't done this yet no are you planning on maybe doing it future if it ever came into our into our it's a plan thing you don't plan it it's just kind of just what happens he would never touch another female I don't want nobody to watch this and think that he's going to touch you so be careful in the comments okay yeah is there anyone else who would be down for three-way I know yeah okay like I know that she's also attracted to women and so we agree like there is no cheating there is no stepping outside of that unless of course it's agreed upon right as long as like it's a watch you know what I'm saying right you know what I mean like I have five senses let me get one of them going you know what I mean like if we're going to have another person we're playing with we're going to enjoy them together they're going to be like a tool you can do more than watch yes okay oh that's because I'm just saying I he surprises me all the time so I'm like I'm satisfied I'm more than happy so the next prompt is it's okay to watch porn when you're in a relationship make your split decisions in 3 2 1 okay go ahead and turn around ah what's over there oh man we're both on no h the next prompt is there have been times where I've been severely unhappy during our marriage make your split decisions in three 2 1 all right everybody go ahead and turn around Elena let's start with you I'm like literally here because of the marriage like he's my superhero all the time like he's the one that always shows me love and gives my body and mind and soul to everything I need so happens it's not his fault did something happen or there was a time where you were very unhappy not having a job and not being able to contribute to the household's ways on me so Joshua how do you help your partner through these tough times I wouldn't say I do a lot I just think I'm I'm just there is that what he's not he's not just there he does help like he doesn't even realize a lot like how helpful he is just by looking me in the eye and it just being there like just that small action of looking someone in the eye is very hopeful so it's just a season it's just a season I've been there it's just a season I promise you that you know I I really wonder if women 50 years ago would have had the same pressures that we have today of just like you know hey I'm not working right now I can't contribute to the the household would they have even thought about that we talk about that all the time it's a different world now it's a different world now but I promise you it's just a season this is an opportunity for you to get creative and some of the things that you're that you're good at I have a lot of talent I know what I'm good at it's this is this is our my moment this is our moment to share with the world that I have a lot to love to give and a lot of stories to share and I'm I'm open to any feedback and anything just I'm just I'm ready luuka do you want to share know we've had struggles like everyone but not that severe unhappiness due to our relationship but we've gone through some really difficult things since we've been together like has really hit the fan at many points um insurance has denied medications that one of us need to feel good or it's out of stock in the pharmacy when you take away someone's medication that keeps them stable that can really send someone we're emotional people so we have our struggles so we get to that point where it's like do I want to live anymore like I hate myself I hate like all of this and I think we've both gotten to those really dark spots yeah I truly believe we'll get through anything together of course and like I'm always here for you when you're when you're feeling like that you know go out make a care basket get to your favorite food and you're right there for me so I think we're alive because of each other yeah I think so too the next prompt is I believe the strongest marriages are based in religious Faith make your split decisions in 3 2 1 can we stand in the head go ahead and turn around Randy shaie you both say yes our relationship is uh rooting in faith some of the first conversations we had was the reality we were not going to have sex even when we hang out alone we're not going to take it that far we are going to wait till marriage because we're basing this relationship on our faith in God so a big part of my spiritual journey is making sure that I live a life that is Honorable to the Lord abstaining was one I needed to to make sure that we believe in the same thing we're both Christians religion is deep rooted in my life so I needed someone who can come in and help me fight that thing so I'm curious because I think a lot of people don't adhere to the whole you know wait till marriage to be intimate can you speak on what that experience was like did it make things it was hard okay was it was it no it was easy it was figuratively hard so I mean there's times I go over and I see my wife and before we got married and I come over and we're hanging out and the thoughts start to come and the body starts to react and we have to just figure it out and I'm sleeping out you know on the couch say what did you do to like well we were in a longdistance relationship so that helped I was always against longdistance Relationships by the way but in this instance like it actually helped he was saving him for marriage first of all when you were a teenager so um it's good to have things in common so having that Common Ground religion I think that's good but I think that marriage is so independent of that I think it's that commitment that can happen with religion and it can happen without the next prompt is I know the number one issue that we need to work on make your split decisions in three 2 1 okay go ahead and turn around wow there's a bunch of self-aware couples over here we're all like yeah that was great we all communicate with each other I like it okay ours is definitely communication he feels like he's being attacked when I express myself just because it's not it's it's foreign to him so we're still in the aspect of figuring out how to respond you you agreed this is the yeah yeah commun I've been trying to work on myself and she's the first lady in my life that's ever kind of expressed and yeah like she say acknowledged in it's it's hard to do but with time and with a great partner anything can happen with teamwork so it's something that we're definitely working on so Randy what is the what's the number one thing that you need to work on I think it's communication Styles that's how I would Define it the styles of our communication I tend to be more stoic I tend to be more happy gol lucky don't worry about a lot of things my wife is a lot more deliberate and she's her style is more to there is a problem we got to get on it we got to deal with it it's on my mind early in our marriage I was a little bit more aggressive growing up people always talk to me really hard and that was always hard on me cuz I'm just like why do people talk to me like this like so I kind of came into the marriage way really direct sharp with a tongue and I had to check s it was a really bad habit of just sharp tongue tone off timing off I always brought up things at the wrong time and I'm getting better I'm not perfect but I'm I am getting better with my timing and as we worked on it her being able to just speak the right tone allows me to want to be a man to do everything for her anyway so all the things that she wants she gets when I can just feel that right tone and we've gotten better for it I think yeah I I think now before I speak so it's definitely gotten better for sure so I think we were stuck in this Loop of like I noticed the tone is off I noticed his expression is are you okay whereas now it's like okay you promise me if you're not okay you will come to me and so like that's me trusting that if he has negative emotions or is going through something he's going to come to me and let me know and he's also like the first person in my life to really just want me to be me like whoever I am like whatever it is just be that so like he wanted to know all these things so that he could be the supportive teammate like the supportive husband when I realized that that is what like was the switch for me it's like there's a reason why expressing my emotions to you is important like you want to actually be there because I don't have to think about all these things by myself anymore like it can actually lean on you we're both [Music] from traumatic childhoods or we have traumatic backgrounds because we have a son the the childhood trauma is coming up and we're both having to work on that individually cuz at the beginning we were good and we're strong solid like communication wise but because because of the baby we're both working with our abandonment issues I guess it will seem like she's pissed off and I'm like what's wrong and she's like nothing's wrong but then half the time something is wrong right like I'm not wrong that something's wrong sometimes but sometimes nothing's really wrong but now you ask too many times it's yeah and just a lot of that stuff coming up just being a parent makes it you start realizing things you know the next prompt is I make significant sacrifices in our relationship that go unnoticed or unappreciated make your split decisions in three two 1 okay go ahead and turn around okay everyone says no except Haley it's not very big but just very very simple just very very simple self-care $60 haircuts and I haven't had anything self-care wise for me for we've been here for almost 2 years now feel like I haven't really been tended to a lot self-care wise and he has I mean all he needs is his haircut so and mind you we're both here by ourselves with no family here so we pay everything by ourselves it's like a lot We're Young and we live paycheck to paycheck so I understand that's the only thing that he need needs to have done for himself but I mean I you would like to I would just like to have something for me for you okay when it comes to the nails and stuff we're not necessarily allowed to have Nails in nursing school so like the whole getting the nails thing done like it's not not much of a can I interrupt you can just get gel clear not clear polish I just need my cuticles pushed back you can teach me how to do it I do it for you okay yeah but you want to go to the I go I want the experience some good I found because I can cut hair I can trim his beard I can do his eyebrows if he wants me to would you let her do that no oh we tried once with the eyebrows and I ended up on one whatever but it it kind of it goes deeper right it's like those are the things that make you feel beautiful that's what makes me feel like a woman yeah and sometimes men can miss those things of just like hey I feel beautiful when I when my husband treats me to get my nails done you know just it's just a nice gesture to remind a woman how beautiful you are are mhm that's really what it is I can feel pampered thank you the next prompt is I sometimes fear that I won't be able to give my partner everything they deserve make your split decisions in 3 2 1 all right go ahead and turn around H babe I just feel like ultimately every day that I wake up I'm driven to make you happy so it's it's not that I feel that I won't I just feel that there's that constant drive to want to do it and I'm never satisfied to just kind of start coasting and taking her for granted we have shared Vision we have shared goals that's what I think brought us together and that's a part of what drives me every day and I don't think I ever want to lose that stay with this guy but you sometimes still have that fear that you won't be able to give it to her things happen things go slower than you want things don't work out when you want but I know her dreams she shares them with me and I want to make them happen right so and I appreciate that but I always have to remind him that it's not your responsibility to make me happy you add to you know happiness for me but it's ultimately my responsibility Luca sometimes you fear that you can't give your partner everything that they deserve when you love your partner so much you want them to have the world like you deserve the best of the best of the best sometimes I'm feeling down on myself sometimes there might be an argument in maybe I responded in a way that you know I'm not proud of that you deserve better but as a general thing I I feel like I give my 110% to be the man you deserve every day it's you're so hard on yourself like you're so hard on yourself cuz like you've already given me the world like you've given me the world like again and again and again and again and again and like I don't want you to judge yourself off of like the worst things everybody says things that like we wish we hadn't said everybody like reacts in way that we wish we hadn't reacted but like you are very much like a net good like and I judge you based off of everything and all that you give is like exactly what I need to be healthy it's exactly what I need to like continue loving and being in this relationship so I think you should be less hard on yourself thank you same to you all right first of all thank you all so much for being here being honest opening up your heart for us and just being authentic with us it would really really moved me and I think it really moved the audience as well so thank you from the bottom of my heart appreciate it team 3 4 two three

Channel: Jubilee

Views: 311,755

Keywords: jubilee, jubilee media, jubilee project, middle ground, spectrum, odd man out, versus 1, embrace empathy, live deeper, love language, blind devotion, Odd One Out, Game Show, Dating Show, Nectar, Ask Me Anything, Gen Z, Millennial, loveprint, jason y lee

Id: 0O9RPr3fFH4

Length: 24min 13sec (1453 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 07 2024