Why the Narcissist Seems to Hate You, But Won’t Let You Go

sad truth about why the narcissist seems to hate you but won't let you go easily being the target of narcissistic hatred is the most confusing experience you'll have in your life it's wrought with ironies opposites and sleight of hand just when you think you've come out of the nightmare you wake up in the middle of another one and there doesn't seem to be any relief in sight it's absolutely soul shattering to give your all to the narcissist and feel like you've finally made some progress in getting through to them only for them to smack you down with the most hateful scathing episode to date it's as though they truly hate you down to the core of your soul as if they can barely stand to be in the same room with you or breathing the same air as you and they probably have told you this in so many words but you've been so traumatized by the sheer spite in their voice during these episodes you have a hard time remembering everything they've said the irony is that just when things seem to be truly over and you've accepted in your heart and soul that it's time to move on and narcissus changes back to being seemingly nice perhaps even affectionate it's so utterly confusing why do they do this are they a tortured soul who is so wounded they just can't help it is there anything at all you can do to speak to the wounded inner self the narcissist appears to hide buried deep within them as a person who loves the narcissist it's usually easier to believe they have no control over these conflicting behaviors we can identify with what we believe is their inner pain but this is a story we tell ourselves a story that keeps us enmeshed with them in a tempestuous cycle of insane highs and lows that ultimately depletes us of our very soul there is a reason they do this but it's hard to digest sometimes though we need the truth because it's the one thing that can finally set us free the sad truth about narcissistic hatred the reason you found yourself the target of narcissistic hatred is that they view love as a weakness and consequently it repulses them but at the same time it allows them to extract copious amounts of narcissistic supply this is why they seem to hate you but won't let you go easily the narcissist views you as a feeble underling one which provides them with wonderful supply so though they couldn't care less about you as a person they don't want to give up the french benefits that go along with engaging in a relationship with you albeit a torturous one they won't let you go because you are providing them with the things they need to survive as a narcissist these things may consist of money housekeeping taking over the responsibility for their adult obligations cleaning up their many messes staying with them while they carry on affairs and providing them with a convenient receptacle for when they need to vent all their pent up negative energies and rage onto someone therefore it does no good for you to show your vulnerability to the narcissist and further why they seem to dislike you even more when you show your very human emotions they want the benefits without all the damage control they want you to just be quiet about it all and go back to the person you were before you discovered who they really are this is why when you try to make them see how they're hurting you it's utterly pointless in fact it's during these moments you see into the true core of the narcissist's personality and it's chilling nonetheless in your mind you love them and have bonded with them and so you try to humanize them believing they must think and feel the same way you do but just have a hard time showing it this is not the case they are nothing like you and no amount of unconditional love will change this fact when we insist on believing the narcissist is like us we are creating a story in our minds writing the screenplay as we go along thinking that with enough love and compassion we will finally break through to the narcissist wounded self this will never happen and it's important to accept this painful truth narcissists love to blame other people for their nasty behaviors in turn you may respond by being more supportive understanding kind or compromising in an effort to persuade the narcissist to halt their betrayals and cruelties instead what happens is patterns of deception and denial are established this may be to avoid the narcissist's wrath or keep the peace proving to the narcissist you're not the crazy psycho they say you are but underneath the surface it's a budding system of enabling a system the narcissist fabricates from the very start the truth about when things seem normal it's vital to understand that when the narcissist is being nice it's an integrated part of the abuse a reward if you will for sweeping their last attack under the rug and going back to your agreeable self the one who will smile at them while they carry on with their normal deplorable behaviors as though everything is on the up and up additionally they understand that if they give you a glimpse of the person they pretended to be when you first met you'll do everything in your power to keep the golden illusion alive the illusion that things can be like they were before this is how trauma bonds become stronger over time if you go along with this mirage you'll be like the legendary solitary traveler who believes they've found water in the desert only to find they've traveled deeper into the middle of nowhere with nothing around them to sustain life if you found this video helpful hit subscribe share it with your friends and leave your comments in the section below and if you're tired of being the target of narcissistic hatred don't forget to grab your beginner's healing toolkit in the description box below [Music]

Channel: Mental Gentle with Kim Saeed

Views: 829,226

Keywords: Why Narcissists Are So Cruel, Stop Protecting the Narcissist, Ending Relationships With Narcissists, Healing From the Narcissist, narcissistic abuse recovery, why narcissists are so cruel to you, surviving narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery program, narcissist seems to hate me, narcissistic abuse, narcissist relationship, narcissistic personality disorder relationships, narcissistic abuse recovery videos, narcissistic abuse recovery channel, narcissistic abuse cycle

Id: TJv5JZnWkIU

Length: 6min 30sec (390 seconds)

Published: Thu May 10 2018