This episode is sponsored by Wondrium. Stick around till the end of the video to learn more about it. Hello Brains! So I was talking to Brendan Mahan of ADHD Essentials on his podcast earlier. And we were talking about how neither of us really gives ourselves credit for... what we do... right, and how common that is with ADHD. [♪ Intro Music ♪] As we go through life, those of us with ADHD tend to be corrected more often or tend to be judged for not being where we should be or as mature as we should be or as good at basic humaning skills... All the markers of being an adult, things like showing up on time and being organized and being responsible and all of these things that are things we should be, are things that we tend to struggle with. And, because of that, I think it's really easy for us to be extremely focused on the things that we're not good at because they tend to be the things that society tells us we're supposed to be good at, by now at least. And, the truth is, the things that society tends to expect of us, or jobs/employers, they're measuring by neurotypical standards. So by neurotypical standards, a good employee is one who shows up on time and is consistent and reliable and does their job without complaining and all of these things that we tend to think of as like, "oh, that's a good employee." But really... is it? Things like staying focused are prized but so is innovative thinking. That thinking outside the box and... and coming up with new ideas and creative solutions. That tends to be stuff that those of us with ADHD are really good at but don't necessarily give ourselves credit for. Because those things are things that... actually require... being distracted. We don't give ourselves credit for the things that we're accomplishing that maybe nobody expects us to accomplish
but are nonetheless extremely valuable. And we can get stuck in a situation where
we're so focused on the things we're bad at that we never take advantage of our strengths. I remember hearing once that the people who are actually successful are not the people who get good at... the things that they're bad at. They're the people who focus on the things that they're good at who really take advantage of their strengths. And that's essentially what I did starting this channel. I stopped putting all of my energy into things like keeping my car clean or making sure my house was in order before somebody came to visit, and started just accepting that I struggle with that stuff and putting my energy into things where, in retrospect, I did have strengths, I didn't know that at the time but I do have strengths in terms of curiosity and being able to put things together in interesting new ways. I have a strength of being able to simplify complex information, and I didn't use to think that was a strength. I used to think of that as I'm just not good at, I don't know, elaborate poetry. I'm not really good at long, flowery sentences. Everything I tried to write came out really simple and basic. But that's a skill! And it's one that would never have recognized if I had just continued to try to focus on making myself be good at... file folders. So for judging ourselves by neurotypical standards and assigning our value based on that, of course we're gonna feel "less than". Because, it's really easy to look at somebody who is neurotypical and responsible and reliable and... you know, all of these things, and say, "well I'm not that, and that's what society values, so... I'm not valuable." I think for those of us that... perpetually get the message that we aren't valuable... that we look for a value. And I think that's true whether we're talking about our brain or, or somebody we love. We have to look for that value because it's not where society expects it to be. We have different brains, we're functioning on different operating systems. And so I think it's important that we sometimes go looking for what we're good at because we're constantly reminded that we are not good at the things that we're "supposed to be" good at. So here's the thing: some of the things that people with ADHD are good at are not things that people would consider basic. They're kinda more advanced skills really. A lot of employers want somebody who has the ability to innovate, somebody who thinks outside the box. Those are considered valuable skills. Not everybody is creative, and those of us with ADHD tend to be. We're really good at something called "divergent thinking", coming up with a lot of different ideas. We're not as good at <i>convergent</i> thinking like narrowing those ideas down maybe. At least compared to the massive volume of ideas that we have. But I think because nobody is telling us that that <i>is</i> the benchmark like, "okay, you're being an adult when you're really good at innovative thinking." It's really easy to compare ourselves to things that this... that society does consider a benchmark. It's really easy to say, "well, I will be an adult when I can stay on top of paying my bills and my credit is good and I can hold down a job for more than two years without getting bored," like, that's the mark of being an adult. But maybe it's not for us. I think we need to give ourselves more credit... for our strengths. I think we need to give ourselves more credit for the things we're good at, and give ourselves more credit for the things that we accomplished, despite the level to which we struggle with things. And I think this is especially important when you have the kind of brain that wants to attempt 50 different things, all at the same time... every day. It's easy to get frustrated with ourselves
at all the things that we failed to accomplish, but we forget, we also are trying to do a lot more, that lack of convergent thinking, that lack of like, the ability to narrow things down means we do try to do a lot at once and maybe our little timeline, we're not aware of what our capacity actually is, and so, yeah, we also fail a lot. We're trying a lot of new things, we're going after a lot of things, and when that happens, you're gonna miss the mark on a lot, you're gonna fail a lot, and that's ok. It doesn't mean you didn't succeed. It can help, I think, sometimes to look back and just... point out to yourself your accomplishments like, Yeah, today I had to change my shirt before we shot because I... spilled on it. You know what I also did that I need to give myself credit for right now? I was an a podcast earlier but like, I brushed right past that and went to, "Oh yeah, but I spilled something on my shirt. I suck!" Why do we do this to ourselves? We are so used to rehearsing and beating ourselves up and have this negative self-talk from just... years and years of being corrected for all the things that we're doing wrong. Because when we're in school like, you know, you <i>are</i> supposed to get to class on time, you <i>are</i> supposed to sit still, you <i>are</i> supposed to stay focused and do all these things that are hard for us. So we kind of get used to the way our brains work and where our strengths lie not being what's valuable. The truth is, society standards for employees, for children, for students, for women are not ADHD-friendly. If you have a brain that develops a few years behind your peers, like an ADHD brain does, the whole "be mature, act your age, you should be able to do this by now" doesn't actually apply to us but we do internalize that. And so I think it's important that we create our own markers for success, our own markers for what's good enough. Because it's not gonna be that! Executive function in neurotypical brains finishes developing at age 25. And that's why we consider executive function relevant to, you know, being an adult. But in ADHD brains, it actually develops a few years later, it finishes developing by 28, and even after that it's still impaired. So, it develops more slowly, it finishes maturing later, and it's still impaired. And so we can't hold ourselves to the same standards. And we can't say that that is what makes us valuable, or that is what makes us adults, because the truth is, we're gonna be adults and still be struggling with that. We have to find other ways to measure our value, whether that's how we're thinking about our employees and their contributions, I don't think consistency is the only measure. I don't think the same output every day is what makes a valuable employee. And the way that I run my company is that we build those expectations in. We expect people to have bad brain days and we expect people to have brilliant productive ones and that's... fine. Right? Showing up exactly on time for most jobs is not actually that important, and we place this high level of importance on it for some reason to the point where we devalue ourselves and our efforts and our contributions because we aren't meeting these very specific neurotypical standards. Society is going to tell us that we are not good enough and that we are not doing enough and that we are not trying hard enough. We have to tell ourselves, "this is what I did well! This also matters! This is valuable! And I don't have to meet those standards!" And that can be hard in a society that is telliing you otherwise, and it can be hard when you've gotten fired from the third job for not meeting those standards. One of the things I'm doing to help me focus on what I'm good at is exploring my creative side a bit more. My creative director Palestrina and I painted these pictures together. It was my first time painting and it got me really curious to learn more about how to do it. So, I decided to see if there's a course on painting on Wondrium ... which of course there was! Wondrium, if you don't know it, is the rebrand of the Great Courses Plus which I've talked about on this channel before. And it's basically designed for curious brains. I threw this course on 1.5x speed and in an hour, I learned more about painting than I had in any art class. I thought that everything you put on canvas had to look good because paint is permanent. And so it's been easy for me to get discouraged when something I paint doesn't turn out the way I wanted right away. But the professor explained that you actually have to build the foundation before you can add the details that make it look pretty. So it might look terrible for the first half of the painting and that's okay. I knew that that was true about writing, my first drafts are always terrible. But it blew my mind true of art as well. I love Wondrium because everyting I wanna learn, they have a course on it. And the professors are really encouraging. And they have a lot of stuff. From howto's, tutorials, documentaries and more, Wondrium is where you can find the answer to pretty much everything you've ever wondered about. It's a subscription-based streaming service and they're constantly adding new courses. Which gives us Brains lots of opportunities to explore our interests and figure out what we're good at. Wondrium is offering a free trial right now, and they're regular supporters of this show. So, by supporting them, you're also supporting us. If you'd like to try it out, go to: wondrium.com/howtoadhd or click on the link in the description below to start your free trial today. I'm gonna try and... walk my own talk right now and... list some things that I'm good at. And this is hard. Because I know. I can tell you the things I'm impaired at, I can tell you the things that I'm bad at, I've said it a million times, I've heard it a million times. But I'm not entirely sure I can tell you exactly what I'm good at ... but I'm gonna try. I am good at divergent thinking. I'm good at coming up with a lot of ideas. I'm good at simplifying complex information. I'm a good science communicator. I can understand the research well enough to explain it and then do a good job explaining it in a way that anyone can understand. This is hard. Finding the value in others. I'm good at working hard to make up for the fact that I'm not good at stuff. I don't know if you consider that something to be good at but... I have a good work ethic. This is not right that I can tell you all of the things that I'm bad at
and I've heard them a million times but I don't know what I'm good at. So yeah, that's... that's my challenge to you. Start rehearsing what you're good at, what your strengths are, whether they have anything to do with ADHD or not. Because society is going to remind us what we're not great at and they're not necessarily gonna tell us... what we are. That's our job! [♪ Outro Music ♪]
I really like “How To ADHD “. She’s great!
I'm not sure if your title was referring to the video or if you're asking directly how to translate your skills to a job? I'll do a rundown just in case.
Stary by identifying your strengths and weaknesses for "work". You can write these down on a paper if that helps you keep track. If you're having trouble identifying them, try asking yourself questions.
Then, we distill these answers down and think about how they apply to the workplace.
From there, proceeding would be specific to what your skills are. If you're having trouble thinking of new roles or figuring out what jobs need the strengths you have, you can always look for job listings with those keywords and see what they're asking for. (Ex: sociable, tech savvy, flexible, etc).
Another good resource is this list from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, which describes job roles, estimates salary ranges, and shows which jobs are becoming more in demand and which are in decline.
https://www.bls.gov/ooh/mobile/home.htm
At 28 I found a job that really suited me, being a Park Ranger, and have actually stuck with it for 6 years. I think it works for me because every day is different and there is a large variety of tasks including physical labor, fixing things and working with the public. It really is a perfect combo of all of my best skills.
Also working for the federal government has provided me a work environment that is super flexible to my needs. I can change to any other federal job and carry my retirement with me. My schedule is pretty flexible, I can work late when I’m hyper focusing or ditch out when my brain won’t work, as long as I work my 40 hours/week.
I’ve never stuck with anything so long in my life and I’m proud of my career. I hope you find something which works for you.
I absolutely agree that we need to be more aware of our strengths and spend far less time focusing on our weaknesses. I’ve been working on this for three years and it really has been a challenging journey but what I have gained from it so far is worth more than anything else in the world.
I tried to do the challenge and I realized that the things I'm actually good at, are the ones I'm most insecure about.... because maybe I think I'm not good enough to be considered "good at".
So maybe start there (?) And look at yourself objectively, maybe others can point that out for you.
This is great, thanks so much!