- Are you currently single, or perhaps you're looking
for a long-term relationship? Although we hope you found
that special someone, we understand that,
generally, dating isn't easy. Do you think you might be hurting
your chances at true love? Have you had a long list
of failed relationships but can't seem to figure
out where it all went wrong? Well, here are 10 things
that might be keeping you from finding relationships that work. One, you have cynical views about love. What's that saying again? "Once bitten, twice shy." It's common for people who
have been stung by love before to stop believing in the magic of romance. You have every right to grieve, feel hurt, and learn from the experience. But being stuck in your negative ways and dwelling on your pain, resentment, and regret is only gonna close you off from new opportunities to find the one who truly loves you for who you are. Two, you set unrealistic standards. Nowadays, we see so many
pictures and posts online about couples who are #relationshipgoals that it may start to cloud your judgment and give you unrealistically
high standards. You might turn down great dating prospects or throw away a special
connection you had with someone just because it wasn't
everything you hoped it would be. But the truth is, sometimes relationships are more about being the right person than
finding the right person. Three, you've set too many deal breakers. You have standards,
you know what you want, and that's a good thing. But expecting too much of your
potential partners too fast sets the scene for failure
and disappointment. Are you so quick to call it quits and run away at the first
sign of imperfection? Just as you deserve a
fair chance, so do they. In the end, relationships
take time and effort, and sometimes those flaws make
this person uniquely tailored for your relationship. It's in the complete acceptance
of an imperfect person that we find the kind of
love that's meant to last. Four, when you have
unresolved past trauma. Whether it's a messy breakup, a toxic relationship,
or an unhappy childhood, your past can leave you with
loads of painful memories and emotional scars that you
often never really get over. You end up carrying that trauma with you throughout your life, unknowingly allowing it to
ruin your relationships. Resolution, acceptance, and
being at peace with your past will not only negate most
of the detrimental effects, but also help you be a better partner, giving the relationship its best chance to stand the test of time. Five, you have low self-esteem. I know you've heard the quote, "You can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself first." When you suffer from low self-esteem, you tend to lose yourself in your partner. Instead of developing
your own sense of self, your partner is used as a substitute. Since you feel like you're
unworthy of their love, you constantly worry that they'll eventually
realize that and leave. The insecurity makes this
a self-fulfilling prophecy, through things like
misinterpreting small actions, catastrophizing, and constantly suspecting your partner of things. This can be exhausting for
the other person and for you. Six, you have a fear of happiness. Hey, don't laugh, we know how it sounds. Why would anyone fear being happy? We humans are strange creatures, and this indeed is something that happens, even though most of us aren't aware of it. Are you afraid of what would happen if you ever did find the one? So afraid that it leads you to sabotaging your own relationships? Do you push people away before they can get too close to you, because having an honest,
emotional connection with someone scares you? You try not to get too attached and suppress your desire
for connection so much so that others may misunderstand and think you're
inconsiderate, inconsistent, and not at all interested. Seven, you have trust issues. Do you feel jealous about
your partner being close with other people? Does it make you uncomfortable to think of them going out without you? Do you need to read their messages and know where they are all
the time just to feel secure? Sad to say, nothing dooms
a relationship faster than a lack of mutual trust. Behaving like you don't trust them will cause your partner to grow
resentful of you over time. No one likes being constantly controlled and under suspicion. Eight, you think you'll
lose your independence by being in a relationship. The rom-com movies always say, "You complete me," which isn't
the healthiest of messages. Perhaps you subconsciously fear commitment because you think you'll lose
your independence or freedom when you do find a relationship. The truth is the opposite. Remember this, in a healthy relationship, you should never have to
sacrifice your personality, your independence, or who you
are for a romantic partner. The hallmark of every
strong, enduring relationship is learning to maintain your independence while still being happily
committed to someone. Nine, you want someone you
can't or shouldn't have. Most of us are guilty of liking somebody against our better judgments, probably even more than once. Whether it's because they're already taken or emotionally unavailable, it's easy to fall in love
with the wrong people. Obsessing over the forbidden fruit closes off your ability to
consider the more compatible and better suited people for you. And 10, you don't learn
from your mistakes. We all make mistakes. We're only human. But what mistakes have you
made in your past relationships and what have you learned from them? What's changed about you
and how you look at things because of your mistakes? If you don't know or believe you've never
done anything wrong, this may be the most detrimental factor to your ability to find
a lasting relationship. Mistakes allow us to learn, grow, and be better the next time around. If there's no learning, the same mistakes occur
and the cycle is endless. A relationship takes more than one person. Luckily enough, one of
those people is you. How do you think you're doing? What went sideways in
previous relationships? Do you relate to any of
these signs in this video? Or perhaps you see a
friend who has these signs? Knowing the answers to
these goes a long way to helping you on your quest for love. We hope you enjoyed this video. What do you wanna watch from us next? Let us know in the comments below. Don't forget to like and share this video and subscribe to Psych2Go
for more psychology content. We'll catch you in the next one! Thanks for watching.
