All right. We're checking out the only game
where you can get a Ph.D. in being a criminal. It's Perfect Lie. At this point, I'm a mischief master. You can see it's early in the morning. I've got college admission at 11:00. Obviously wearing this- I was going to say,
obviously wearing this outfit- What was this Google Translate,
text to talk voice acting? What I was gonna say was, considering what I'm wearing,
I'm surprised they actually let me onto the campus. Why do you want to join?
Your amazing professors... Because no one else is taking me. Lady, you have no idea how many years
I should probably be spending in prison already.
Because no one else is taking me. At least I'm honest, right? Get out of here. Oh no! I'm getting arrested just for coming to college? What has happened to the society? You know, it's going to be a good episode
when, like, 30 seconds in. I've already gone to prison.
All right, let's try this the right way. Why do you want to join this university? I just wanted to hear that
voice acting again. That's why I'm coming to the university. Also, that's a nice plant you have. All right. For the professors, I guess. Well, your amazing professors. I don't know if that's good thinking
or just not wanting to go to jail. You play any sports? Define sports. I'm an Olympic swimmer. Yes. Girls call me a playboy. I don't really know
it has anything to do with sports. Also, why is this dude
wearing a cowboy hat? You know, we're going to go with the lies. I am an Olympic swimmer. She's like, yep. Makes perfect sense. We will offer you admission. I love it. You've been selected. It's basically just a post-it note
with a stamp on it. How much does it cost a year
to go to this college? That might not cost
anything they might be paying me. I'm surprised to. I'm not actually sure that my nose
can get much longer, like I'm running out of cells to give to my nose.
Oh, I finally beat Chog the Mighty. This is like the most D&D name someone could ever have.
Come, my doge. We must obliterate Chog the Effervescent. Right now I should go past 20 years old. Which means I need a better outfit. What do we got here? Mm hmm. Yeah. Okay. Oh, this is just. This is just straight up
a prison uniform, you know? Sure. The kiss meter. Why is there a human head slowly moving into my scene? I'm the main character in
this game. Get your jaw line out! Also, how come this
college looks exactly like my high school? Like the lack of glass
in the windows and all. All right, what do I do?
I get in trouble for that. Well, what was that? Oh, ho ho! Hey, hey, ho! Oh, this isn't so much love as it is having a seizure. And there we go. I have completed the I would say the test, but I don't actually know what I'm doing inside of this-
*student screaming* Did you just kiss my girlfriend?
Yesssss...... We just bumped heads. I was checking the lip gloss flavor. This is not a way
to get yourself out of it. You know what? Let's just have a fist fight to the death. I was checking the lip gloss flavor.
You ready? How dare you? Yeah. Let's throw down. Did he just roundhouse kick me in the- Oh, he roundhouse kicked me
right into my seat. I don't know who's cooler
in that instance. Him for kicking me or me for doing, like,
a triple axel into my own seat. All right, I'm just going to go with. We bumped heads and see if that smooch things out. Oh, thank God. See you later, babe. I love the voice they gave this dude. Where is he going?
He wasn't, like, exiting the classroom. He just wanted to walk into the wall.
Maybe he can phase through walls. Everyone seems to have special powers. What does my mother's
signature going to do? If she signs it, does my grade go up? Does that get me, like,
extra points? Did I get a double zero out of 100? Hey, Mom, I need you to sign something. I know this looks bad,
but consider how hard it is for me to not get a single question
right out of a hundred. My mom's name is Sofia.
My mom's new name is Yeetus. Can I get the Yeetus kind of in the Sofia area. Like, is that good enough
or how how clean does this need to be? Really hoping I can get the U and the S in Yeetus.
Yeah, see that's a nice U right there. Oh, that's beautiful. All right. And then we're going to have to
do the ass backwards. Perfect. Venus and Sophia have a lot in common.
They both have S's. I mean, it's kind of close.
Alright, Teach. I got my mom's signature. Your mom's sign looks different.
It's Italian. Her hand got injured. Yeah. She backhands me a lot,
and she sprained a wrist. Her hand got injured. Oh, okay. Ask her to take care. See this? She's just like, "Yeah, I could actually see that happening.
I think about slapping you all of the time." Oh, yeah, we're moving up the ranks here. You've heard of Flav O Flav?
Well, here's Faveolatte. Or maybe favolite. I don't know. It sounds-
It sounds like a fancy drink. I'm the only one walking down the hallway. Did you just kick me in the groin?
Teach him a lesson. Run away. Violence is always the answer. My nose is massive.
Get- Oh.... Well, that wasn't violent at all. All I did was pull pants down. Oh, it's a little clock bird.
I love clock birds. So what does this do?
Oh, I. I'm more impressive now. I'm even taller. Oh, I have, like, a job now. I should probably get a more professional outfit,
considering I'm actually employed. There we go. I'll put this hair on, too. Can I actually ride this tricycle? You can. I have a tricycle now. Are you over 21? I think so. I don't actually know. I have a job now, if it matters. Okay. She's over 21. He's over 21. I'm 15 years old. I'm in college and I have a job. I'm amazing.
Uh, yeah, I'm 35. I mean, I'm-
Fake ID. Thank you. Game for telling me-
Please go in sir. Wow. Really doing your job there, bouncer. You think you could at least get a, I don't know, like, a roof
for the the dance club? If it rains in here, we're all going
to get electrically shocked to death. Well, I guess there's only three of us. So the death toll-
Back home drunk at 15. You are not in your senses. Just ate the old red carpet there, too. I probably broke my nose
in like six different places, considering how long it is. Tap and hold to move. Oh, God. Hey, Mom. How's it going? I wonder if she'll realize
something's wrong. OMG! Are you drunk? It depends on your definition of drunk. I've been snorting cocktails
for the last 12 hours I'm high on life. No, I'm just high on life. What the F F hashtag K? It actually spelled out the hashtag and the- It actually spelled out
the hashtag and the mom. Well, this is bad. We've both been perforated
by the shelving over here. Before we go any further,
I have to mention something real quick. How come my dad doesn't have any feet?
That's all. Just something I noticed. Hey again, Mom. You're someone spiked my
drink, possibly with lemon flavored Drano. Don't ask me why anyone would make Drano lemon flavored. Take some rest. The fact that my mother
is just sitting next to me while I'm asleep in
my bed is really creepy. Mom, can you go do
anything else but be here? Just riding past the conference room on my tricycle with my dog,
because this makes total sense right now. All right. I am legally old enough to drink now, so I shouldn't
have those problems anymore. I want a new necklace. That's very specific of you, girlfriend,
but you already have a new one. This is old. I want a diamond necklace. Wow. My girlfriend
is high maintenance. Okay. Oh, I guess she's just going to go ahead
and play on YouTube for a while. Prank girlfriend.
Oh, she's not getting a necklace. She's getting a.
What's the iron for? I need to know. I don't know what this does. Am I ironing her cell phone? Oh, my God. She's
going to burn her skin off. We're not done yet. I can either trip her with a skateboard or-
I don't know what this rope would do. It's just like a trip, like tripping her.
I need to know now. Put this rope down. Yep. I just. Okay. Now she broke her neck. I have, in fact-
I have killed my girlfriend. I love the way my character thinks. He's like, if I get rid of my girlfriend,
I don't need to buy her a new diamond necklace. Oh, it's the ferry. Oh, it's the Fairy God Nose-elongator. I'm a seasoned trickster now. Six more months have gone by. I can't believe I made it to 22. Here we are getting a brand new tattoo. Look at all the sweet artwork
on the walls. Yeah, I'm next. It is kind of weird that everyone's
going to watch me while I do this. Choose your tattoo.
Oh, these are both good- These are both good options. This one looks slightly more like a plate of linguine, so
we'll go ahead and grab this one. Oh, God. Are you seriously crying?v Florida Man Coffee has a Black Friday event.
30% off all coffee. But I wanted to show you this.
Let me torture my editor. This is how a normal, well-adjusted
person drinks hot chocolate. Take the hot chocolate. Put it in the mug. Take the hot milk. Put it in the mug.
Take the marshmallows. Put it in a mug.
Drink it. Delicious. Boring. This is how a Florida
man drinks his hot chocolate Hey. Throw him some marshmallows. It's delicious. And please don't throw
scalding hot chocolate at your skin. Catastrophic chocolate now available
only at Florida. or maybe they like caffeine
with their sugar, you can blend in both if you want. Brand new lightning mugs also available. You know, I'm alert.
I'm allergic to tattoo ink. Yeah, let's just go with that. I'm allergic to tattoo ink. Okay. That makes sense.
Does it? I love that he tattooed
my actual shirt too. No wonder I'm crying. My shirt has been embedded into my flesh. Hide tattoo.
Sneak it into the house, you know, right in front of everyone. I'm surprised my parents can see anything
at this point, considering, like, I've tried to kill them multiple times. OMG! Is that a tattoo? I didn't try to hide it at all, did I? It's temporary. It'll go away in a week
or it's just a pen mark. I don't know how you would get a pen mark. Like in the shape of a dragon. Total coincidence, Mom. It's just a pen mark. My mom just. Okay, let me try. Oh, not with the Brillo pad, Mom. All right, I guess I have to go
with the temporary one. It's temporary. Hopefully she forgets in a week. Oh, thank God. I thought it was permanent. I was just about to say, I don't know why
my dad is reading a newspaper because I think he's illiterate . And then the newspaper actually
vanished, like, right in front of me. What is- What is this?
What is this on the ground? This better just be a giant block of soap. All right, we're opening it. Oh, it is a suitcase filled with money. Oh, well, this is better than soap. Just tying my shoes. No big deal. I've got an interview
today. For what? I'm not really sure. I thought I already had a job,
but I guess we'll find out. Hold to drive. Why do I feel like this is going to end
with me crashing terribly? Okay. Everything's going
pretty good here. No big deal. Can I stop in the middle of nowhere? Oh, I just had to go
like 20 seconds down the road. I didn't realize that-
Why are you so late?!? I really don't have a good answer
for that. I live like six feet away. I was betrayed by my alarm app. Vile betrayal! Are you okay with that? Get the job. I got the job. Really? He bought that? Oh, no worries. Oh, clearly he's been betrayed as well. Have you worked as a cop before? You're going to make me a police officer. Are you serious? No, but I use handcuffs in battle. Oh my God!
No, but I was my girlfriend's bodyguard. Uhhhhhhhhhh.....................
No, but I use handcuffs in bed sometimes. WTF! Get out of here. Come on! Ah! I'm getting arrested. It's not really good when you go to become a cop,
but you get arrested before you leave. Okay, let's. Let's try this again.
Here. Yeah, sure. I feel like this isn't a better answer,
but I guess it's the one he wants. I don't know why. You have got the job.
That's all you wanted? Well, here's a bunch of money,
too, by the way. Oh, is that my pay? Oh, that's my pay. I'm getting this money.
I'm so used to bribing people that I didn't know
I was supposed to take the cash. I'm not going to lie. I love this job. This is like the first job I've had where you get paid
before you actually do any work. Who are you?
Oh, that's my girlfriend. Hi, girlfriend's dad. What's up, homie? What's up, homie? This guy's amazing! Love life.
Oh, God. Let's go sit down
and talk about your daughter. Why is your washer and dryer inside of your- You know what? Never mind. I don't want to know.
Would you still love her if she was ugly? Probably not. Depends on how ugly??? Knowing this character-
I have to answer this. It's- It's the only way
my character would answer. Depends on how ugly.
What? Get out of my house! Aw, I was kind of hoping the dad would be like, "Oh, fair enough." Any dad who answers the door?
What's up, homie? Like, I don't expect them to really want
a straight shooting answer. Of course I would.... Yes, of course. That's great news.
Is it? You don't even know what I'm like.
Do you know that I went into- Have you ever loved another girl?
Yes- My sister. I don't even have a sister.
I only talk to men. Yeah. See, Dad, I'm like a T-Rex, right? But like. Like women don't even. They don't even register
when they walk by me. Nope. I only talk to men. What? Oh, never mind. Okay.
I guess he doesn't like that either. All right. I guess
it's my nonexistent sister for the purposes of dating your daughter,
I'll make one up. That is so sweet.
Is it? I feel like there's no way
I would ever get along with my sibling. All right. Walking down the hallway.
Is that her dad? You have to stay late
for work. Is her dad also my boss? Flip him off!
WHATCHAAAAA!!!! Oh! I spun him like a top and flipped him off. I ain't staying late.
You got to be kidding me. I'm surprised the game.
Let me get away with that. Are we getting married? Oh, right. Just here at home.
Wife's trying to cook. I don't know what that is. It looks like a fried apple slice. What did you make? Babe, does the food taste good? I- No.
Our dog would love to try some. This is going to get me backhanded, isn't it? I mean, it's better
to be backhanded than dead. Go ahead. Hit me.
Our dog would love to try some. Do it. Do it. Oh, the dog is going to try it. Wait! Is it-
Are we going to murder the dog? No. My sweet, sweet Yeeticles
has been poisoned by your cooking, honey. All right, let's try this again. I didn't know that my wife's cooking
is lethal. Like, actually lethal. Oh, the dog is still dead. We've rewound time,
and the dog is still completely out. Let's just pick this one. This one?
No one has to die. But I'm not hungry right now. If you would, could you just put that? Okay, you can eat this later.
Yeah. It's going to disappear. To be fair, after all that's happened,
I really need to blame her for this because she married a guy who's
wearing like a Western bandit outfit while riding a tricycle
inside of his own workspace. All right, honey,
it's time to go to the party. Meet you at the club in 15. Sure. See you there. All right, let's go to the club.
Where are you going so late? Oh, apparently I'm
going to the club alone. I'm going to emergency at work. Okay. As you know, I'm a police officer, even
though I don't actually dress like one. Oh no, go fast. No problem. I'll make sure not to come home in handcuffs.
I'm a Senior Misleader. It's like a job title. My nose has gotten even longer. Excuse me, everyone.
I've got important work to do at the club. Out of the way. Oh, all right.
Just go ahead and open the door here. Ohhh.....
Hey, babe, where's my anniversary gift? Well, after I ate some of your cooking,
I developed Alzheimer's. Actually, you know what? Yeah.
Just blame it on Amazon. The delivery got delayed. Oh, no, I was looking forward to it.
Book dinner. Did you make a dinner reservation at least?
Oh, God, no. I wanted to spend some alone time. Our favorite restaurant shut down. What's funny is I probably ended up burning it down
considering the things I've done. Let's just try the alone time. I wanted to spend some alone time with you instead. That's so romantic. Please do not put that cake
too close to me. Did she have a butcher's
knife in her hand? What is happening? There's a lot going on here. Prank wife.
I don't know if I want a prank. A grenade is a prank?!?
What??? We've gone past pranking at this point. We're committing war crimes. I'm totally picking the grenade.
Well. it's just on the cake.
It was just on the cake. I just blew up my wife. This relationship is amazing. Gasoline. Oh, here we go. I can't believe. How is it? How did it
catch on fire, though? Her mop is burning. I'm burning. I mean, technically, it's our house. Like, I think I just kind of pranked myself.
You just gonna to leave that there? If I'm still married right
now, it's a miracle. Well, I started as a child,
and I ended up as an adult. Blowing up my wife
and then setting her on fire. Seems like a legitimate life I've led. Anyway, folks, hope you enjoyed this episode of Perfect Lie.
Until next time: Stay foxy and much love.
