What's Your Greatest "Wow I'm Fricked" Moment?

what's your greatest well i'm fricked moment buddy needs a ride at 10 pm borrow dad's car pick him up and get on the way get pulled over for speeding and as soon as you see the red and blues he says the one thing you don't want to hear don't pull over my backpack is full of drugs you are taking me to sell also it's your backpack now i was in a car mishap when i was younger where my mum lost control of the car on a wet road and we ended up sideways facing oncoming traffic luckily we had slid far enough across the road for the cars to swerve and miss us but for a few seconds i thought i was super dead super dead when plane dead just isn't dead enough enlisted in the marines because i wanted the challenge not because i actually wanted to fight or anything naive i know while i was in dental waiting to get my wisdom teeth pulled a handful of [ __ ] crashed planes into the world trade center join the navy or the air force for that crap you don't go into the marines hoping to not get into combat as a little kid i was traveling with my family on a plane to dubai once it landed i went down one aisle family went down the other i didn't know and thought my family were behind me kept walking forward and eventually when i looked back they weren't there well sht walked back and forth for what felt like an eternity in the airport trying to find them since i was lost in a foreign airport without my passport or identification was with my parents freaking out because there was a police person there and people kept looking at me funny since i was an unattended asian kid freaking out eventually i was reunited with my family but man it was terrifying as a kid home alone 6 dubai this was when i was in 7th grade i went to a really small catholic school and my parents a lot of times helped out around the school on weekends so i was often there in an almost empty school with nothing to do really i for some reason had a very different locker than most of the other kids in the school mine was a really short locker but very wide i had always wondered if i could fit inside of it i figured this was a good time to do it with nobody around to see me finally solve this stupid mystery so i get inside and i'm kind of scrunched in there well the goddamn door shuts on me i'm trying to use my fingers to open the latch from the inside but i can't do it so i've locked myself inside my own dang locker until probably 20 minutes later my dad and another adult family friend comes along and i start pounding on the door they laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh you know what i'll just let you guys know when they're done laughing but it's been 14 years so i'm not sure that's gonna be anytime soon i can't wait for i got caught in my locker and no one helped me pt seventeen and arnold just a few days ago my first time going rafting and my group and i were about to get in the raft and all the instructors kept saying wow this is the roughest water i've seen in seven years no biggie let's go rafting bee ended up being caught between two currents and flipping over i was stuck under the raft for about two minutes until i was finally yanked out and dragged through the river until i hit a rock and climbed on top the entire time my only thought was well this is how i die turns out a woman in my group did die she hit her head underwater passed out and drowned recently i was moving home and job around the same time i was staying with my parents as it made getting to my new job a hundred times easier when the day i was moving i opened a letter that had been in the flat informing me i owed a city council 5 000 pounds turns out a guy i lived with for a few years hadn't been paying the bill we had a deal tat i paid for the internet and television and he covered that he hadn't paid a single penny in the years we lived together and lied to me god knows how many times and i'm not paying council tax is actually a crime and my new job is basically moving large amounts of money for people i have never been more stressed and furious in my life for those who care it all got sorted cos my parents are amazing i got my butthole of an ex-friend to sign a contract saying he owes them the money and they paid it off and the council made sure there will be no negative consequences for me but i nearly got set back the last five years and put into a debt that would have crippled me he still goes around telling people that i am overreacting by being mad such an overreaction you handled it with way more class than i would have i probably would have killed a person i'm glad you were able to get it worked out your parents sound rad probably february 2014 when the doctor told me i have a brain tumor or october that same year three months after recovering from the surgery to remove it when they said it not only grew back but grew back larger than these kinds are known for and that it was going to kill me a friend called me saying he had been kicked out and need help picking his stuff up was doing well in chemistry the only class i had that morning so figured i could skip one and go help show two days later for the next class and they begin handing out graded midterms that's why you should keep a calendar i smoke her pretty rarely but i decided to have a bowl last friday night random urinalysis at work monday morning i drank a gallon of water and pee pretty much straight water doubt it worked though i've been sitting here all week waiting for a call from hr i don't know what i'm going to do if i lose my job just keep detoxing if you fail you can claim it's a false positive and retake it that next week but you should just keep detoxing i was doing a grenade training exercise in afghanistan my platoon had the day off so the our commander scheduled a big range for us to go practice we were using many weapons that day a lot of bigger stuff to include frag grenades at 4s 50 calories and barrett's it was an exciting day because as a standard infantryman you don't get to use that stuff hardly ever the range was just starting and our other squad got to start with that 4s a rocket launcher for those who don't know i was very jealous because my squad got stuck with grenades first which is the most boring range of all those listed before we start to line to start lobbing them over the hesco barriers downrange and get to it a guy in my squad let's call him smith comes up to the plate and readies his grenade as he threw the spoon on the grenade caught on his sleeve and hit the top of the barrier and fell straight down everyone yells and takes off running back to the concrete safety trench about 30 feet behind us everyone except me i was next in line so closest to the grenade minus the guy throwing and as i pivoted to run i slipped ate crap no more than 10 15 featuring away from the grenade at that moment i decided to not get back up and thought i'm freaked when grenades explode there is cone of the explosion where a sliver above the ground does not get hit by shrapnel and i just so happen to be in that protective cone those three seconds felt like a lifetime the grenade went off and absolutely rocked the crap out of me but somehow i was unscathed my squad leader came to check on me and rolled me over yelling my name as i rolled over i just looked at him and said i honestly was shaken up for only like a minute and wanted to resume the range so i could shoot the big stuff but since we had an accident our range was shut down and we never got to go back the rest of deployment i remember sitting at my calculus final and i didn't comprehend the first page so i just laughed throughout the whole thing cause i knew i was freaked your turn to do pull-ups in gym but you have a boner for no reason and your undersized gym shorts made of one percent mesh and 99 holes in the mesh aren't doing a very good job of concealing the meat stick doing a push-up and a pull-up at the same time i spent a few years skydiving every weekend on jump 17 i'm so low at this point but don't yet have my license things were going well canopy deployed started thinking about landing pageant look down check when sock make choices once i'm committed i notice people landing in the opposite direction than i am going you land into the wind to slow your forward speed and i'm wondering why they're all doing it wrong and then i realize crap this was the i am fricked moment 17 jumps is roughly equivalent to your second week learning to drive you can make things go where you want but you have no experiences someone's explained how to handle things but you don't have a clue so with the wind at my back i look down and realize i am moving very fast a little more than running speed fast there is no way i can run this out and even if i try rolling on the landing there's going to be a lot of momentum i am going to wipe out crap second i am fricked moment i look at the landing area and see a sandpit say a short non-denominational prayer and head for it at speed performing my first awesome swoop and drill myself into the sand nothing broken bruised a little and that's when the safety officer started shouting at me crap i was freaked i didn't get grounded but was reamed out loudly and publicly and again later at the club meeting when i was 15-ish my parents discovered my less than christian internet habits and installed an extremely rigid internet blocker i didn't even have access to youtube again until i graduated high school well i found out that i could access the internet with my phone it was an old flip phone from about 2003 and i was surprised it had internet at all i couldn't visit websites or play videos all i could really do was get google image results but it was better than nothing until about a week later when my father came downstairs and asked hey i just got a bill for 50 surcharge on one of our phones do you know why that might be the case externally i said nope and he said huh i'll have to look into it but internally i died turns out there's a one dollar charge every time you use the internet on that phone so my options were basically to come clean or to let them look into it and see the plethora of gay p searches i'd done that was a sucky day for olay mitch let me tell you comma my parents discovered my less than christian internet habits okay p comma the plethora of gay p searches definitely less than christian comma that was a sucky day for olay mitch i was playing rugby and through a series of unfortunate events took a knee to each temple at the same time both guys were running soon as my eyes opened i knew it was a pretty bad concussion just rolled over and started throwing up the moment when you get caught up in a mall and one part of your body is being pushed one way and another part of your body is being pushed another way all you can do is just wait and pray it gets broken up before something snaps when i was young our old dog ran full pace into the back of my legs as i was falling over i had the well life was fun this is going to hurt moment then my head connected with the concrete with a loud bang that my mum heard from the other side of the house i woke up dazed and my head was throbbing rushed to the hospital and was told i was fine but since that day i've really struggled when talking i cannot pronounce words correctly sentences get jumbled i have trouble staying focused and i get splitting headaches right around the back of my head where it hit i also have other side effects and to this day no doctor has ever been able to tell me why for the people asking some other side effects trouble understanding what people are saying i hear them clear but it just doesn't make sense i have to get people to repeat themselves two four times to get what they say people think i'm deaf because of it but if i can lip read then i'm okay the bad headaches nowhere near as bad as they used to be but they do wake me up some nights poor sleep not sure if this has anything to do with it prob not my english skills are up crap creek without a paddle trying to concentrate on something for too long brings on headaches talking is a bee sometimes other times it's not so bad my memory has suffered i cannot remember a lot from before this and have trouble remembering things but some stuff that really isn't important just stays like it only just happened have a lot of trouble remembering people's names i know the face but cannot put a name to it sometimes i just feel down and out because i can't even put together a ducking sentence easily i have some pretty backwards ways of doing things this also could be just me and have nothing to do with it reading hurts i get letters words totally mixed up and it makes no sense to anyone i read some words as something totally different and takes a few goes or someone else point out my frick up to fix the problem this also leaves me feeling like an idiot there are more but that's enough for now thank you everyone for your help and support stay awesome read it it's probably because you hit your head when you were young as a child about 11 years old climbing a big old old tree at the secret lake must have been 20 30 feet up when the branch i was standing on just went like dust away from me falling head first was one of those life flashing past moments and being only 11 it didn't take long was saved by ending upside down tangled in a barbed wired fence never did tell my mum the truth about how my new jeans and leg got ripped to pieces days before my finals i kicked a football through the window of the titches break room where it hit my physics teacher on the head there's a good lesson about projectile physics in there somewhere that feeling you get when you feel your kin is on black ice and you are inexorably headed for the ditch courtesy of physics and all you can do is try and relax because you know that crap is gonna hurt when you hit fortunately i hit a deep snow drift unfortunately a lady came by a minute later and slammed right into the side of my car totaling it oh crap oh crap flew off hugh save bam foo driving home late that night in my mazda 3 hatchback while going across a six-lane down got clipped head-on by a drunk woman in a yukon airbag went off which knocked my hands off the steering wheel also saved my life from the impact thank you mazda my mazda went into a spin as i'm spinning i get my hands back the wheel to turn into the spin around the 360 degree point i decided i was freaked i knew the lake was flooded and assumed i was dead still i continued to hold the wheel while spinning out of control ended up doing a 1260 ice and stopped on the far lane on the edge on the dam i let out the biggest sigh of my life then proceeded to go into shock and lose my vision for the next hour in my first term of college i figured midterms would be in the middle of the term check the syllabus week 4 10 week term for when the midterm was there were two one was the week before that's when you know you really fricked up that exact millisecond when you realize you're leaning too far back in your chair and your life flashes before your eyes and you accept your fate a kid in my history class in high school was leaning back in his chair and as soon as he realized he was going to fall he said calmly well crap and hit the floor set five alarms on my phone so i can wake up get ready and get to the airport on time for my flight to see my parents on the other side of the world i wake up to a phone call from my parents asking if i got to the airport okay and i look at the time and well i somehow slept through all five alarms this reminds me of my friend who slept through two alarms and missed his flight he got his parents to book him a new one so the next day he wakes up super early and gets to the airport with a few hours to spare while waiting he falls asleep and wakes up to the plane leaving about eight years ago my friend drew flicked off this truck full of bros that was tailgating us they followed us to a grocery store parking lot and got out to confront us i peeled out started speeding down the road and next thing i know i'm in a full-on car chase my dumb butt turns off the main road because i was hoping i could lose them nope they cornered us in a cuddy sack all the broth got out of the truck and two of them had bats i was pretty sure i was about to die dude came to the window and started screaming at me about how much of a pee i was and how easily he could kill me he made me tell him i was his bee and i assured him that i was his bee he made me say it about eight times then he bucked at me turned around got in his truck and left scariest experience i've ever had in my life to this day i won't even honk at someone no matter what they do on the road next time just drive to the police station and park in front they will leave parents left for the weekend had a party found wine in wine rack come let's drink it older brother we'll go to liquor store and replace it tomorrow drink wine get drunk have fun next day older brother calls and says they can't find anything that looks like the bottle on the shelf asks me to read label exactly as it says read label limited edition specific year card around the top says to mom and dad from boss older brother informs me clark tells him that was a 300-400 bottle of wine limited edition it was presented to my mother when she won and award replaced it with a 12 bottle of wine hoped my parents wouldn't notice they did got double jumped by a way bigger kid on one of the old school trampolines back when i was about 10 years old my trajectory had me coming down on the rail right between my legs i summoned the power of a thousand ten-year-olds and managed to stop my entire body with my hands on that rail i now have a three-year-old son as a reward for my burst of strength my nads lived to spunk another day 16 years old come home to find that my mom had rearranged the game room which is where the p tape i had was hidden look at the cabinet where it was stashed yep cleaned out oh crap looking back at it it's not that big of a deal but at the time i thought it was the end oh god the memories back when i lived with my mom i had a rage problem and a bedroom full of paraphernalia several times she organized my room for me now that is freaking scary still makes my knees weak to picture my mom with tears in her eyes holding a bag of insulin syringes and my spoon in front of me hearing an oak tree starting to fall right behind me i was in a three foot wide space and had to outrun it prometheus style you ever feel the top most branches of a tree whip your head and back frick that the prometheus school of running away from things is the only school you'll ever need to attend well i used to make slightly altered drivers listeners everything went smoothly for months then 9 11 no i did not supply them with any it happened and they cracked down on illinois and iowa on it then one weekend two different people in two different cities got caught with their reel and my slightly altered did the cops wanted to know which was real when they both called me that's when i knew i was freaked i got into to the business because i wanted an it so i made one and it was okay then i met the guy who made them in a slightly different way we kind of took the best parts of both and combined them then our friends wanted them and fifty dollars was fifty dollars then their friends wanted them and it got out of control i ended up making a deal that involved them being able to recover all the ids no one with one was charged besides the ones that got caught on their own i made a plea and did not do any jail time i was also a criminal justice major and ruined that whole thing good times when i hit a patch of black ice and lost complete control of my car everything i learned in driver's head and everything my dad ever taught me just blanked out of my mind like a blue screen of death i just kinda sat back and went well crap before hitting the side of the road and flying through the air for 15 featuring before rolling my car three times it rolled from front to back at one point and busted out the windows and packed me in with snow so i was basically protected with packing peanuts when i came to i got out of the car without any harm done to me the lady who stopped to help yelled out to me mama are you okay and i just shouted back my dad is going to kill me my insurance will go up the moment i almost rear-ended a parking car going 50 kilometers per hour 31 mph on my bicycle i was going downhill without a helmet on smart i know when i suddenly noticed the parking car i tried to brake but just ended up sliding my way towards it entering the road to go past it was not an option as cars were driving by so of course i did it anyway i somehow managed to squeeze between the car and the traffic slid my way along the parked cars side tore off the mirror and flew across the bonnet my bike going the other direction miraculously i wasn't even bruised slightly my bike was barely bent at all so i just sat there and tried to process what just happened i could have died easily that day i was back parking with a bunch of friends in the mountains and several days and we set up camp by a large pristine lake while everyone was sunning themselves and goofing off on the shore i decided to swim to the other side of the lake the water was cold but i didn't think twice about it as swimming pools also seem cold when you first jump in i got about a quarter of the way across when i realized that the lake was way colder than any swimming pool i'd been in and that the cold was sapping my strength so i turned back before i set out i didn't know that cold water could do that plus i was in really good shape at the time on the way back i quickly got to the point where i no longer had the strength to do the crawl stroke so i switched to the side stroke and when i no longer had the strength for that i flipped over onto my back and tried to get to shore by just kicking and moving my hands back and forth i finally got to the point where i couldn't even do that back thing and realized i was too weak to call out to my friends for help at that point i thought well i'm fricked and sort of let my body sink to the bottom thinking that i was about to drown what i didn't realize because i was on my back was that i was so close to sure that i was literally inches above the bottom so i was able to crawl stagger out of the lake tldr don't go for a swim in glacial rune off the cold will shut down your body fixing a car at work one day leaning under the hood looked up and to my left to see a guy with a ski mask pointing an ak at my face i thought i was going to die next to a 92 escort not my preferred way to go well you can't just leave us with that story time for if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: OnTap Studios

Views: 27,751

Rating: 4.9188404 out of 5

Keywords: the moment you realize, realize, worst moments, awkward, awkward moments, mistakes, biggest mistake, biggest mistakes in history, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: gxBkif5WzVM

Length: 24min 24sec (1464 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 23 2020