What's The Most NSFW Secret You're Taking To The Grave?

what secret are you taking to the grave nsfw when i was younger i was at my friend's house sledding he had to leave with his family but i kept sledding i lost control and ran over a baby pine tree they had planted earlier in the year a tree they had planted in remembrance of my friend's grandma passing away that year i had snapped the tree when i hit it so i just stuck it in the snow and left weeks later and it warms up enough that the snow melts and the tree falls over they were devastated when they discovered their tree was broken with no explanation how it happened i lost control and ran over a baby colon capital o dart pine tree colon to sleds you say my dad's a national socialist and ira givery goes to meetings i was raised on germanic folklore and the idea that i'm superior to others because i'm of german decent i have plenty of jewish and slavish friends and i just tell them my dad died when i was younger tl i am the one that put the hole in the wall of the upstairs bedroom i f king knew it i was giving my cat a belly rub and it just all over my hand colin try scratching a little higher next time the real reason i don't talk to my mum is because she called me at 3am one day after she'd had a fight with her boyfriend and i had to run to her house and wrestle the pill bottle out of her hand to stop her from trying to kill herself by odin again she refused to get help we'd had her committed several times and i couldn't handle to burden at 19 of being the one physically stopping her one time in middle school i asked to borrow my friend's pen for a moment to write something down he was pulled out of the room for something a second later and i just forgot that it was his pen when he returned to the room the teacher chewed him out for not having a pen on him and i think he forgot that he gave it to me as well i still feel guilty at fck about it plus side i'm the godfather to his son now i shall seek redemption in his time of need give his son the pen and call it a family heirloom i saw my friend's nipple when i looked down her bra the other night whilst nursing her sunburned shoulders and back nice in fifth grade i cheated on an exam my buddy and i were the only two people in the grade who got this particular question correct but i copied him the worst part was he was considered dumb while i was at the top of the class so the teacher was convinced that he copied me and he ended up getting suspended long story short i was too pss why to admit that i was the one who cheated as my parents would have murdered me if i failed the test and even worse if i got suspended the dude can't even guess on a question without getting suspended i'm the guy who downvotes the auto moderator one night i woke up with my mind in a twist my mom was in the hospital at the time i had a crazy urge to call them and check on her but i reasoned not to because i couldn't think of an excuse so i fell back to sleep 5am i get a call that they checked on her and she didn't have a pulse i just think there was something i could have done that destroys me to even think about it my sister and i were on holiday together recently and very drunk one night when we got back from the bar naturally we started drinking more because we were on holiday she has the ice cube tray in her hand opens the window simultaneously and loses her focus and drops the tray five floors to the street hitting a big guy square in the dome he looks up and started screaming and shouting in italian i live in rome so i understood he was calling us some bad bad names we just closed the window and continued drinking while we could hear this man shouting he was going to come up there and rip our heads off please never find me mr scary italian man i thought this was going to end differently it when i was 10 i walked in on my mom and stepfather having a sex standing up their backs were toward the door so i just quietly backed out and never said a word about it that was 40 years ago some say that they are still having sex to this day my dad cheated on my mum with her sister when i was born my aunt moved in to help my mother with the newborn eye e me my mother told me while she was drunk at a dinner party and started it all off with you know i know i sometimes sound like i hate you but there's a reason so even though i love both of my parents i secretly think they are both pretty awful excuses for human beings i died for obvious reasons my mother for holding it all against me edit i'm so sorry for the earlier ambiguity colin my mother was the one who told me i have never been allowed to meet my auntie but never really knew why until my mother spilled the beans until then i had been offered the excuse that it was because my mother didn't like my auntie's husband turns out my dad is the [ __ ] well for a while last year i was planning on killing myself with a no typed out on google docs how to leave the rest of my room to be the least inconvenience to my family etc doing much better now went on antidepressants weaned myself off just trying to land a job so i can actually get started with my life feeling good about the future one time i sucked a dude's dick for beatles originals on vinyl still don't regret it every time i listen to rubber soul or help yet i get the faint taste of nut in my mouth i was in bed last night crying because my best friend got married a week ago and i realized that i still love her that i hate all my f king friends for not inviting me anywhere and my cycles of sudden realization that nobody cares about me except for my family edit only fck this blew up gonna get buried but fck it about 10 years ago i met my now wife and her two-year-old daughter that was a product of a rape after falling in love with her i decided to adopt the little girl under the condition that we tell everyone that we had a one night stand and i got her pregnant and she couldn't find me for two years i don't like lying about paternity but i love this little girl so much i couldn't even fathom the idea of her growing up and finding out how she came to be my family has big mouths so i will never let them find out now my parents call me the family wh ray and make jokes about it and if kim pisses me off but i love her and treat her like i treat my own son as a bonus the entire reason i married my wife was to adopt her daughter we've been married for eight years now and my daughter is now 12. he never questions it and i will never let anyone find out the truth it could ruin my life my dad was having a heart attack in front of me and my mother she yelled at me to go get help but i froze in fear he later died which caused my mother to become addicted to prescription painkiller and then killed herself while my brother also killed himself a year later tl doctor i ruined my family r.i.p all the users who are apparently dying i think my sister is a rsx addict but can't be bothered to get her help because among other reasons the sx is phenomenal that embarrassing picture of spongebob from last year's christmas party my guidance counselor at school had a jar of lollies on her desk they were are my favorite type of lolly one day after school i took the jar and ate them i felt so bad i bought a new bag of lollies and a better jar and snuck them back no one knew no one will ever know i can never recognize my face i get scared to look in the mirror photos of me always seem different or disfigured way too scared to find out why or ask for help and don't want my family to find out i'm weird enough as it is my friend in eighth grade called me before he killed himself and told me it was my fault i wasn't allowed to eat ice cream from creepy ass giovanni but only from sam the ice cream man well one time i took like five deutsche mark and went on a mission to get some giovanni ice cream i saw his pink ghetto ass van and heard his music i knew what to do next going up to that dude's van was creepy as hell dude looked like uncle fester but with hair so after being frightened i made my decision and decided upon a scoop of hazelnut ice cream that ice cream was bom f i ate that ice cream and told no one n-o-o-o-n-e not my mama not anyone hand to god sam the ice cream man asked me if i ate jovanna's ice cream how did he know how so that was the last time i ever ate that dude's tasty ice cream that's my secret jovanna's ice cream is bomb but i still ain't telling nobody i always tell my wife how much i love her makeup that day i hate it i wish she would stop wearing it but it makes her happy so i decide to lie when i was four i had a neighbor who was also about 3-4 my mom worked nights so i would stay at my neighbors and hang out with their family for about a year once every week or so i don't really remember i would look her in a room just the two of us force her to take of her clothes and touch and kiss her body keep in mind i was young and had no idea what i was doing or what sx was fast forward 20 years and my brother decides to look up our old family friends on facebook and the girl had recently overdosed on drugs and her family is now trying to help people with depression i don't think i'm aggressive at all but i try to distance myself from people because i don't want to hurt anyone i'll probably think of myself as a horrible person forever in seventh grade me and my friend simon got the password for the admin accounts on our classrooms computer and our teacher always came in late so we would just change our grades whenever we got to class before him and the door was unlocked i'm pretty sure this is what got me into a really good high school because i rarely did homework but i usually knew the material my ex only gave me three august ms in two years i faked about 5-10 every time we had sx i told him once that i had faked him and he didn't seem too disappointed but i didn't have the heart to tell him the real number i don't really care about getting off it's hard enough for me to do it on my own and i don't expect anyone else to take that responsibility but he is a good guy and told me once that because of me he has more confidence in bed so i will never tell anyone this edit it a bunch of f king people who know what's best for my sx life better than me edit too you faked 510 or guess ms every time i'm exhausted just thinking about faking that many let alone having that many your ex must think he is an absolute sx god i burned down a train station you're a monster everybody loves trains [Music] that this child isn't actually my bastard but my sister's son whose dad passed away edit grammar because i'm stupid stay away from king's landing i've made it a point not to tell any friends i make or girls i begin to love since high school that i had a brother who died in a motorcycle accident with i was 15. there's no good way to bring it up it only kills good moods and with girls they feel like they can't come to me with problems because generally it isn't as bad as losing a brother opening yourself up can make dealing with things a lot easier but in my experience if things don't work out the fall makes rey learning to be self-sufficient at coping absolute torture my friend showed me his girlfriends my best friends nude pictures not even uncommon but if she's really your best friend you should probably tell her he's showing people that i was one of the high school boys that actually slept with my super hot english teacher and did not run to the cops to get her in trouble i was 16 and she was 30. wonderful time in my life i still love my ex i used to edit prn images with miss paint i use the color pick tool to get the color of the skin near the bra change the hue and saturation and used pencil tool to edit the bra out then i change the hue and saturation for the next pixel to take into account shadow and lighting i did that for every single pixel in the breast area the image was about 800 x 600 so the breast area was somewhere around 400 x 150 pixels once it's done i put fake nipples there again playing with hue and saturation it wasn't the best prn it wasn't even the best cartoon prn but i was 14 years old it was windows 98 plus and it was motherf king miss paint i was proud me and a friend put the hole in the basement wall we were like 11-12 and we decided it was a good idea to sprint at each other while we were both holding large exercise balls smart move he bounces backward and puts his heel through the wall 10 stroke 10 would make stupid but also awesomely fun decision again that i'm actually really f king miserable i really dislike the rest of the family save grandma and aunt every day i want to just disappear and there is no one i genuinely love i don't even know what it feels like to love and i don't know why i don't know what i want to do in life and would love to have never been to college i really just want friends but i'm a depressed wreck who's limited and is too scared to do anything to change it i can't tell anyone about this because everyone says just to go out and meet people or get help no car no buses here nowhere to meet people and a social wreck we can't afford help and it just kills me to never tell my mom the one person i should tell because she'll either say i'm overreacting or feel like she failed as a mother edit one thanks for offers guys and gals sad to say talking doesn't help me anymore i used to talk about problems but it never made me feel better or actually changed things hey wanna be pen pals or something i can be a friend that i'm contemplating suicide that would be such a waste of a cool username how much of my schoolwork throughout high school was total bullsht how much my schoolwork throughout grad school was total bullsht i have a reddit account my dad died last year on my birthday he called me about a month before probably to tell me he's in hospice care hep c and lung cancer from smoking we weren't on good terms at the time because he was a pretty st dad my last words ended up something along the lines of the difference between you and i as i'm not alone just waiting to die of hep c it didn't even cross my mind at the time that he was literally on his deathbed i hadn't talked to him in years got the call on my birthday that he died sht eats away at me but i haven't told a single person i know you'd feel bad but sometimes i stop and think that if someone didn't deserve your love and respect in life why should they have it in death does that make me an [ __ ] [Music] i faked a pregnancy and abortion to try and get the abusive love of my life to stay with me i've come so far from that and i members it ever happened that i want to make love to my sister-in-law not fck her i want to love her like i love her sister her husband is tt white to her and she deserves some pleasure from someone who loves her edit g some of you fcks are stupid i thought this thread was about a secret you would take to your grave not something you plan on acting on i wouldn't fck up my life just to get my dick wet so you don't want to fck her but you do want to have essel intercourse with her pleasurably i mean i'm sure she will appreciate the difference her husband may be tty but you're the one fantasizing about cheating on your wife with her own sister she deserves better but better isn't you get some perspective and improve yourself improve your relationship with your wife love her sorry if this comes off as mean i don't intend it to be but i can't ever rationalize cheating as something positive in third grade i cheated on my history exam in fourth grade i stole my uncle max's toupee and i glued it on my face when i played moses in my hebrew school play in fifth grade i knocked my sister reedy down the stairs and i blamed it on the dogs when my mom sent me to a summer camp for fat kids and then they said lunch i got nuts and i pigged out and they kicked me out but the worst thing i ever done so i mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then i went to this movie theater hit the puke in my jacket climbed up to the balcony and then then i made the noise like this and then i dumped it over the side all over the people in the audience and then this was horrible all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other i never felt so bad in my entire life i dropped the screw in the tuner you

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Id: rWPQo1sN4Pc

Length: 19min 22sec (1162 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 16 2020