What's The Best Revenge You've Ever Gotten? (r/AskReddit Top Posts | Reddit Stories)

what is the best revenge you've ever gotten when I was around 80 this girl I worked with teased me on a daily basis about how skinny I was and how goofy I was she was constantly making fun of my silly jokes and the way I related to others I mean this sheet was non-stop one night I had a work party and invited her over we ended up making out on the couch we had sex we ended up getting married and we've been together for around 17 years as for the revenge dude I put three babies in her belly they tore her junk up on the way out literally tore her junk I watched it happen call me skinny again by ducking day you [ __ ] manager put me exclusively on night shift when he knew I had a very pregnant wife at home and gave me a pour of you despite an inch thick stack of printed emails from customers saying I was awesome fast-forward 10 years and my wife works in HR hears a familiar voice next door in a job interview after the interview my wife pokes her head in and asks with that man's name xxxxX it was my old manager let's have a chat about him she says to the interviewer he didn't get the job when she told me I was happy for a month mainly because he'd never know it was my wife that completely ducked him over when I was in seventh grade there was a boy who started spreading rumors that I blew him my revenge may have been a bit too cruel but I mean that was a big deal in middle school I told his mother I even did awful ittle bit for effects when I told her the story she went home beat the [ __ ] out of him and I got a phone call apology duck you--even I think I've told this story elsewhere but a good friend of mine did a similar thing she was out at a bar with her girlfriend and this guy came up to try to chat her off and without even saying hello grabbed her ass when she told him that wasn't cool he started doing the whole oh come on you should take it as a compliment thing so she decided to get revenge she immediately put on her most vapid flirty expression asked him to buy her a drink teased him et Cie after about 15 minutes of playing him like a fiddle she asks if she can borrow his phone to call another friend instead she goes outside looks through his contacts and calls his mom she then proceeds to ask this woman if she had raised her son to a assault women and touch them without their permission the mom went really quiet and then asked my friend to hand the phone to her son apparently his face as the mother started screaming at him was all the revenge my buddy needed my brother had just turned 16 got his license got a car from my parents and trashed his bicycle because he didn't need it anymore I was 13 and my bike was what got me around my brother is an [ __ ] that gets grounded a lot grounded from the car too he would then just help himself to my bike after many warnings I took matters into my own hands I loosened the handlebars on my bike seemed the handlebars pop off the bike and him eating street was a glorious day in my revenge book my old neighbor is a dumb crusty [ __ ] that will fly off the handle at any chance he can get one night he lost it because I parked in front of his house for an hour we exchanged choice words a couple times he threatened to kill me knowing full well that he's a small business owner I went home and signed his personal and business email up for thousands of mailing lists the process was fairly slow at first until I found the FDA mailing list site that will let you sign up to 2,000 plus mailing lists I added his business address to computer security lists retail lists porn lists you name it I was furious when I started the whole process but after two hours of of this I had worked myself into a calm trance-like state does the punishment fit the crime I don't know but if you are going to be a done [ __ ] you deserve to have unfavorable things happen to you when I was about 14 years old my friend and I were illy into Yug oh and we'll get pumped after every episode we saw so anyway this one time after we finished watching an episode we decide to play for keeps after a heated one-hour game I managed to squeeze out the W my friend is obviously upset and grabs my rarest cards and Chuck's them into his turtle tank he had a snapper that turtle ducked my carbs arm so at this point I storm out of his house and devised a way of getting back at him it's then that I remember he liked chocolate so I proceeded to poop onto a napkin and cut it into several small bite-size pieces I then roll them up into small milk dud shaped gonads and pack them in a ziploc bag the following day I meet up with him and offer him some chocolate he ate an entire nugget before he realized that he had eaten my poo I am NOT a bad person but when you duck with a 14 year olds why yugioh yell ducked up his childhood Telia my friend destroyed my Yug o cards and I gave him poo chocolates in return I had a most evil teacher in second grade she hated them me more than anything so one day I raised my hand and for about thirty minutes she didn't call on me but I was persistent my hand got so tired that reluctantly she called on me I already knew what I was gonna say I was stretching she looked at me for two seconds then started to shake in anger you could see goddamn veins on her temple she put me on red that day but I know it's ruined her day I had a similar teacher at around the same age one day in the middle of class I started to feel really ill like I was going to throw up I raised my hand to say something however as usual she ignored me after 30 seconds or so I held on her feet carrot colored revenge was served my brother was a massive [ __ ] to me growing up we moved to a new town and I made friends while he fell into drugged us he tried to keep doing the dickish older brother thing finally one night at dinner when he was laughing at me because of something nerdy I said I just replied I don't give a duck what you think of me I have friends the snide look on his face just dropped I know it sounds like a small thing but it was a turning point in our relationship and was extremely satisfying back in college I lived in the fraternity house and shared a bathroom with several other guys I noticed my bottle of cologne went dry much faster than it normally did I started to take my toiletries back to my room since then before I did though I pissed in the MT bottle throughout the semester I take note of the fill line and how it got lower and lower I finally told my suite mates they'd been spraying themselves with my piss after I moved out TLE are mild rumoured smelled like pee ex cheated on me I cleaned myself up got a great job and went on to live a happy life seriously best revenge ever that's not revenge that's a healthy path of coping new candy both for laughs yeah push her under a bus my girlfriend and I moved to her hometown with my then two-year-old son and was staying with her parents while we saved up to get a place well the week before Christmas she decided she didn't want to be with me anymore and called me at work staying come get your son I've already packed your sheet I arrived there to find my son in his pj's on the porch with no coat standing next to our things while she was inside with her family and new bf I had never hit a woman the damned if I didn't want to then but I digress anyways we took a bus back home and stayed with my parents as I was unpacking my stuff I found a customized t-shirt of hers that she mistakenly packed with my stuff it was a scream t-shirt with a picture of a little sister who had passed away at 8 years old the previous year and it was the last Christmas present she had gotten from her when I saw it I took my laptop outside set it on a still in front of the burn barrel in the back yard and proceeded to sky call my ex she answered but before you say anything I am so sorry for WH hey how did you get that as I started to douse lighter fluid on the shirt and then proceeded to light that Ducker and throw it in the burn barrel before her horrified eyes my GF and I are in a very fun relationship and we always like to joke around and prank each other one time when we were passing by a total a section on a department store she told me she was pregnant she thought I wasn't ready yet and would freak out turned out she was wrong I was pretty ecstatic about it and she was surprised she started crying real hard and I thought there was something wrong things started coming into my brain like I'm not the father of the child and such turned out she was crying because she was so happy that I was ready to commit to her rent to a family but the other reason was that she pranking because she thought I would freak and when she saw my reaction she couldn't believe it she felt really bad about what she didn't guilt was really eating her up she was extra nice to me and pampered me that week I think that's a pretty great revenge I'm engaged to her now : I used to live with the buddy who was dating this chick we didn't get along with and by we I mean all our dude friends she was insecure super prissy and clingy all at the same time the final straw was when she started inviting herself to guys night and then complaining that all we did was drink beer and play video games so fast-forward to them getting engaged she practically lived at the house now and it was high time I got a different abode so as my parting shot I gifted my buddy four years of Playboy I think it cost me a grand total of $24 worth every penny my buddy gets to see tits and she gets volcanic ly mad every time it arrives and since the bill comes to me all I have to do is renew it sweet sweet justice I had a girlfriend back when I was younger that I found out cheated on me after we had been dating for almost two years I had worked with her brother and been to her parents house several times while we were dating and I became close to them once I found out that she had been cheating and didn't have any intentions of stopping I mailed that's right melt pictures of her naked and blowing me to her parents and brother she came to my apartment severely pissed off and started screaming at me at the top of her lungs I snatched her purse out of her hands and threw it out the window onto the middle of a busy street she did not come back upstairs to continue her aunt I had a friend that would constantly play really irritating pranks on everyone in our group of friends one day a few of us had had enough of his [ __ ] and posted a really ridiculous ad in the EM forum section on Craigslist with all of his contact information for three or four days straight he got nothing but dudes sending him big big pictures and he couldn't figure out why when I was in first grade there was a girl in my class that was always mean to me don't rightly remember how one day she got snotty with me on the playground meet her right in the chest five-year-old me was a woman-beater apparently in high school I had an issue with someone stealing my gum out of my backpack I ended up painting the top piece in each row with the finger nail polishes to stop nail biting hilarious kid in school who was a royal pain in the ass and I hated left off to Grade seven I heard he was planning to come to the same summer camp that a bunch of us were going to after grade eight so I called him up pretending to be another kid in our class told him I had a cold and gave him the wrong dates four-count he spent two weeks at camp by himself follow-up no he just took my word for the dates and the guy was a bully so don't feel sorry for him I heard a couple of years later he was out to beat me up but I have never run into him should also point out this was over 30 years ago now and the guy I pretended to be and I continued to be close friends I've talked about this before in another context but it's the best revenge story I have I used to get paid to write essays for people I wrote all of this girl's applications essays eight schools but she made all sorts of excuses and ended up only paying a fraction of what she owed me this girl come from a rich family and spends about $10,000 a month on her shopping she could afford to pay me but she decided to be cheap and not bother paying me even though my essays helped her get into a much better school than she expected I got my revenge though the school does why lie beyond her academic capabilities so she ended up flunking most of her classes and getting kicked out so I have one acquaintance who likes to make fun of me in public a complete [ __ ] he probably just gets a kick out of it one day he is drunk and is he at the party and I tell him that I have a Cask of Amontillado in my basement we go down I chained him to a wall and start entombing him alive before placing the last stone I drop a burning torch through the gap 50 years ago and still have not been caught so I was skiing a while back at a local mountain I didn't have nice skis but they got it done at the end of the day I set my skis in the last slot on the very full rack and turned to go inside I hear a crash and I turn around some are shat had knocked my skis out of the rack and was placing his own very nice expensive skis in the rack I turn and confront him hey those are my skis that you just knocked over what's the deal sorry man I just got these skis they need to be set in the rack can't have them getting ruined ya know plus your skis are really shitty I'm sure you won't mind putting them on the ground stunt all I could do was agree with him yeah you're right man with my skis are pretty shitty aren't they I'll just store my skis over here on the floor thanks bro preciate it I was fuming I saw the guy head for the lodge my next move is something I'm not proud of but it still makes perfect sense to me me and this gentleman had just agreed that it was time to upgrade my skis so I did just that I gathered my things - my shitty skis and I scooped his skis off the rack and hopped on the bus back to school he was right they really are nice skis [Music] you

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Id: 6npPdR6g3sE

Length: 16min 24sec (984 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 15 2019