What Secret Could Ruin Your Entire Life? (r/AskReddit)

what secret could ruin your life when I was about five years old my sister two years old and I were in the backyard in a kiddy pool when my mom went inside I attempted to drown my sister after I saw her lifeless I realized that it was a big mistake pulled her out of the pool and called for my mom luckily she knew CPR and she was life flighted to the hospital my mom thanked me for saving her pulling her out of the pool next week was my birthday the police firefighters paramedics came to my house to give me gifts and celebrate my birthday to this day twenty years later I still think about it I remember the day so vividly not a soul knows the real truth that until a week ago I was a heroin user I'd lose my kid my family my job everything finally just finished the worst of the detox here's to keeping on keeping on I don't think I'll ever tell them even though I am currently clean and have no desire to go back is it hard to go through it completely alone 15 years ago between jobs I took a short-term gig helping a large gay porn company assisting and resolving some performance issues on their website it was supposed to be only two weeks that was 15 years ago no one in my extended family knows that I work in gay porn let alone know that I'm in charge of everything except video production I was sexually assaulted by my parents neighbors a father and son the son was in his teens I was eight they used to put me in this walk-in closet and have Showtime I never realized what was happening until several years after we had moved from my grandmother's house in Phoenix to Houston fast forward 20 years goes by and I have a daughter of my own SH he's four and we decided to visit grandma in good-old Valley of the Sun we get there in a few days pass in one day my daughter's outside with her older cousins playing I step outside to check on her and I'm greeted with that same neighbor's son holding my daughter giving her raspberries while his dad is playing with the others cousins something clicked more like a twitch in my mind something tipped me just a nudge but it started something I walked outside grabbed my daughter and corralled the kids and made my presence known that tipping point sent me into her emotional spiral of brooding thoughts I'm white-collar I make my money off of thinking I'd never say this to real-life human nor will I ever give the details of how I did it but several months after our visit with Grandma my wife thought I had another work training when in fact I came back to Phoenix I burned their home to the ground everything was lost except for the master bedroom and walk-in closet PS a well-placed anonymous tip does amazing things to up someone's life they both survived unfortunately I swear to God I hoped I've done enough good in my life to earn at least one wish that would be to meet those lowlife maggot creepers in hell and be their eternal tormentor I look at my daughter every day and know she gave me the strength I needed as an adult I didn't have as a child my dad probably sexually abused me when I was a kid I save probably because I don't actually remember it but all the signs were there I used to not want to clean touch my genital area and once I had blood in my panties my period started many years later just to name a few apparently he drugged me to make me sleep and then do whatever he did the case went to court but they decided there wasn't enough proof so he wasn't charged my mom was granted full custody though I don't really feel like it was my fault but I definitely feel disgusting I mean it's about the most disgusting thing a person could do I don't really know what the point of writing this was but it feels a bit liberating to be able to say it I hope anybody who's gone through similar things isn't doing too badly I forged my high school transcripts to get into university I can't even think about the consequences to my actions if anyone were to ever find out I'm three weeks shy of graduating with a degree in biology I own accounts on multiple sites dedicated to taking down child pornographers if anyone knew who I was I imagine there would be a lot of perverts wanting revenge and I don't want to put anyone at risk when I was 10 my cousin sexually molested me during a sleepover at my aunt's house my aunt walked in on her molesting me and took me away from her however since that day it was never talked about within my family and everyone acts like that day never existed a friend of mine I used to hang out with a lot chase told me a bad secret during our sophomore year of high school we were good friends and smoked a lot together but we came from a bad neighborhood anyways one day at school I watch his back when he sells a gram of weed - this guy Terrence bully senior real [ __ ] kind of chunky but played football the year before and was built as were walking away chase just keeps going on and on about how much of a prick that guy was after school we both put our money together from ourselves to buy another ounce as we're smoking he tells me he needs to tell me something he says that Terrence guy tried raping his sister at a park but stopped after she started screaming who at the time was in eighth grade chase tells me how Terrence wanted to buy some weed after school but didn't have enough for a gram this was after his sister told him what happened so he said he'd give it to him for free if he stole a few cans of for low costs which was really easy back in the day after chase said he acted like he was really happy about it and smoked him out for free and then gave him a blunt to take home he told me that when he rolled it earlier he laced it with heroine for Terrence and has been lacing all the weed he sold him with heroin he gets from his uncle who knew what he was doing and basically turned Terrence to a junkie told me he's been doing it every day for weeks and been charging him double since Terrence doesn't know anyone else to buy off of that he's even been to his house and got to take some of his shoes TV Xbox iPod basically everything a teen would want in exchange for more and also to pay off debts we weren't some buff ass kids or anything but our families were heavily gang affiliated and most people knew that he then tells me he didn't sell him any weed earlier that day but gave him a bit of age I asked him for free he said nah I had the idiot steal me some jerseys from footlocker and I sold him for like $200 at the flea market and started la I did my fair share of pups throughout high school but I felt really weird about that I didn't say anything because I was a gang member at the time so I didn't feel like I had a right to judge I never told anyone we grew apart after that I moved away from my home town a year later but I hear that Terrance has been in and out of rehab jail and struggling a lot pretty much homeless when he's out this won't ruin me because I've already went no contact with my mom but it still hurts and there's a big secret I have not told anyone when I was a kid I had asthma pretty bad so I'd be up all night coughing constantly my mom and I lived with her parents we shared a room so I slept in her bed often when I was a toddler mom would come home from work and lay down for bed but I'd keep her awake with my coughing sometimes at night I'd be coughing and she would hug me so tight that I couldn't breathe it would really distress me that I couldn't breathe but I knew mom loved me so much and I didn't want to tell her she was literally squeezing me to death because I was afraid of hurting her feelings so I just tell her that I loved her so much and she would cry pretty hard after that took me years after having my own kid and treating him gently to figure out that it's actually pretty difficult to squeeze a kid so hard that they couldn't breathe mom is bipolar and has had other incidents of hurting people in abandoning those in her care that need medication and can't take care of themselves so I finally put it together and figured out mom would be so agitated with my asthma that she would try to stop me from coughing by squeezing me almost to death and then she would cry out of guilt when I told her I loved her on the outside I am a happily married 30-something about to buy a house in sync with my wife on most things like religion kids that things will get better for us etc in reality I am are deeply depressed secret alcoholic which I fear is already adversely affecting my health but I can't stop don't believe in any higher power anymore and derive little or no pleasure or satisfaction from anything most of this started with a sudden and untimely death of my mom and some other family drama that had and around the same time while I was in university I powered my way through there because I was encouraged to by those around me even though I wanted so badly to drop out this is also about the time I started abusing alcohol I barely drank at all before my family is rather scattered now living in different states my wife and I are close but I have been unwilling unable to find or make new meaningful friends is an adult in the city I moved to for a job I am so stressed I feel pins and needles in my brain head and tongue constantly and drink heavily five to ten drinks per day most of the time sometimes more I can hold off if I am traveling or around family or in a situation where I can't drink at all I don't even get really that drunk visibly anymore which is why I think I hide it well from my wife there is usually an empty vodka bottle hidden in my briefcase by the time she gets back from work and I have usually poured my first glass of wine by then to mask that I have already been drinking I get home from work earlier than she she thinks I am as happy and fulfilled as she and excited and ready to have kids and start a family etc in truth I am just numb to this world I try to love her I think I do and expend all of my energy keeping up the facade and affection for her but apart from that I have zero energy or desire for anything I used to be athletic and still look decent but my physical shape is fading fast I don't have or enjoy any hobbies I just wake up go to work drink when I can and Mark off the days as I get older and closer to eventually dying [Music]

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Keywords: Reddit, Askreddit, r/askreddit, Best Reddit, Best of Reddit, Funny, Funny Comments, Funniest Reddit comments, Best Reddit comments, Best Reddit Thread, Funny Reddit thread, Best AskReddit, Funniest AskReddit, Best Stories, Funny Stories, Funniest Reddit Thread, Top Reddit Threads, Reveal, Share, People Reveal, Unbelievable Stories

Id: NfT867VF9ps

Length: 10min 40sec (640 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 28 2019