What My Microwave Sees at 3AM

if you are willing to shoot someone who is trying to steal your dog it means you value your dog more than someone's life me so anyway i started blasting languages that don't have a word for the day after tomorrow languages that do have a word for the day after tomorrow [Music] psychopaths serial killers people who sleep with no pillows hey hey i can't sleep i can good night remember kings get six to eight hours of sleep a night what kind of friend are you the friend who walks behind when there isn't enough space on the sidewalk just one more episode just one more page just one more piece just one more year me playing one more time alone because my friend went to sleep my friend on the other team my team won national throw short people day on october 21st you can throw anyone under 5 ft 4 inches with no permission needed you know i'm something of a thrower myself i'm sorry but i'm not a survivalist the second we start fighting over fresh water i'm killing myself you all have fun though people in the us how could columbus not know he wasn't in india also people in the u.s what country is this [Music] i heard your depression is strong let me fight it for you someone describe your loneliness with one picture me never gonna give minecraft live is today with that comes a community vote to decide the next mob added to minecraft make sure to tune in at 12 p.m est and vote for whatever mob you want added to the game i don't want to share my thoughts because a lot of people would just vote whatever i want and we don't want a repeat of last year hahaha you are bad guy but this does not mean you are bad guy from berlin to warsaw in one tank hold up scientists say that women with bigger butts give birth to smarter kids kids in pixar doctor on a scale of one to eight how old are you kit it stops a date doctor it does for you she left me because of my poor english but i doesn't care a random girl wearing mask the same girl without mask a baby zombie runs toward you panic you kill it calm you're in a halloween party panic i'm pretending to be a hot girl on tinder so i can match with my roommate and tell him i'm coming over so he'll clean the apartment second heart is needed to nourish large brain it's time for you to look and will and begin asking yourself the big questions how do we use this energy when you wake up from a good dream and realize it was all fake say something smart kowalski if time is money then technically an atm is a time machine astrology is just space racism change my mind shosca lupus when you're at a party playing truth or dare and they dare you to go home [Music] gif compressor the file size is too large me that's why i'm here when your sleep paralysis demon is behind you nobody me night before exam how to absorb textbooks like a sponge therapist any suicidal thoughts or depression me just a normal amount therapist the normal amount is none me well frick what school tries to turn us into [Music] what school actually turns us into [Music] would you eat fruit loops on pizza i just want to talk with him me carefully constructing a good argument in my head using logic and reason the result when i actually say it out loud shreks is not the main purpose of having a girlfriend change my mind that's actually correct you know when a girl from high school asks you if you want to hear about an amazing opportunity when you put out a rig roll and everyone starts saying frick you give amazon and facebook a seat at the united nations can you not be dystopian 2020s for five minutes [Music] you know i'm something of a cyberpunk myself thank you legends for not you making bower childhood awesome opening up the comments this is a job for the hazmat division i can't believe he didn't cry during titanic do men even have feelings michael caine announces likely retirement from acting as he notes there's not exactly scripts pouring out with a leading man that's 88. [Music] 57 339 divided by 831. nice harder daddy what what going to grandma's house coming back from grandma's house men can wear shells over their nipples and still be masculine top or bottom numerator or denominator pov you're a guy [Music] youtube shorts you think you're better than me 10 second video from nine plus years ago i'm better than you me sorry if i'm bothering you lifeguard pulling me to shore what boomers trying to explain their humor you see it's funny because marriage is terrible ex-soldier storms animal shelter to get his cat back rageful problems require ageful solutions my friend why are you laughing me nothing my brain man builds an irl minecraft pig called hamburgini that hits top speed of 20 miles per hour just spotted a cat on someone's porch meowing to be let in without thinking i walked up to the door and the bell nodded to the cat and left it was only i rounded the corner i realized what i'd done as i heard the owner shouting frick me sarah the car just rang the doorbell me scores 17 on test class laughs teacher it was the highest in the class me you dare challenge mega mind upper middle class women over 70 when they are waiting in line at the store quick animal facts most african lions can't speak english soldier i've been enlisted and will be getting deployed soon girlfriend one minute after he leaves may i get your snap now ask my boyfriend for it he's in my bio okay yo girl told me to ask you for her snap which is kinda weird but can i get her snap there are only two sides [Music] me when the guests finally leave [Music] money doesn't matter rich people looks doesn't matter attractive people wall gobble dog the bugs under the rock i just picked up when i grow up i'd like to be a firefighter because i've never been one before outstanding move you have a higher chance of getting flowers on valentine's day if you die on the 13th of february never before have i been so offended by something i 100 agree with me i got a ghost i need busted friend call the ghostbusters me do they have a website or app friend no you gotta call me well i guess i'm stuck with this freaking ghost then taking a poop and the first wipe comes back completely clean a blessing from the lord it's 2013. you just got an ipod touch you downloaded angry birds your friend is coming over for a sleepover later he has nerf guns your biggest concern in life is your history quiz on monday you didn't realize at the time but this was the last time you were truly happy and for my next trick i'll break my own heart by exaggerating my place in other people's lives suicidal thoughts but mom would be sad pedophilia is a sexuality i found a clown please don't talk to me i have no self-control and will talk to you for two hours and get no work done there's 20 letters in the alphabet right 26. oh i forgot you are a qt that's 25 you'll get the d later big brother please no not again i'm only seven please hold up wanted to impress my crush so i told her my father is a millionaire now she is my mom when the homemade octopus costume goes wrong really wrong donald trump's remain in mexico policy is dangerous inhumane and goes against everything we stand for as a nation of immigrants my administration will end it biden to re-implement trump's remain in mexico in november when you type rule 36 instead of rule 34 if you could please pass the i bleach that'd be great if you ever feel dumb just remember that captain america tried to choke a robot this guy pulls up to your girl in this ride what you doing [Music] china is west taiwan the story of my life are you going to the barbecue there's a barbecue oh my god they didn't invite you when you get the vaccine and can finally start going outside again [Music] you there yes you tell me who is your favorite ninjago character minus zayn lemon lemof art tutorials be like step one step two step three north korea lands first ever man on the sun confirms central news agency nasa it is impossible you would burn before even reaching the surface north korea we did it in the night nasa lunch ladies be thick as hell saying grab a fruit baby she's i'm about to grab that ass what when you go to type lmao but accidentally type lamp activision let's make a cod based on world war ii the guns in that cod roses are red the news is whack surprise mother freaker copperheads are back americans can't name a country apart from the us mexico england [Music] when you forgot to use your free wholesome award within 24 hours when you try to send a pic of your boobs but discord says that the file is too big idiots your religious people are all dumb atheists are intellectually superior no you atheists want to kill us you will go to hell chads i don't believe in god that doesn't mean i hate religion or religious people you're cool you atheists rock who cares if you don't believe you're still a chad germans when they find out that other countries don't separate trash so uncivilized when someone is roasting your favorite teacher but the teacher roasts them back me attending a zoo meeting at eight o'clock in the morning after waking up at 7 59. the guy with alzheimer's that forgot about gravity everyone else at the retirement home someone cartoon is for kids also cartoons [Music] your youtube comment gets a heart from the creator also every comment has a heart that means the creator interacts with their community [Music] me about to get an insane plot twist in a dream my alarm i'm about to end this man's whole career do you like cars yeah why check your kitchen what therapist so when would you say your stress began me haha die fire pov you're 10 years old it's the 50th time you do this slide your knees and your elbows are on fire but the boys are waiting on the top no one wants to work 700 000 plus avid 19 deaths 100 000 drug overdose deaths 2 million more people than expected retiring 3 plus million women leaving workforce for child care reasons millions permanently disabled from long ovid 19. poor pay crap hours poor treatment micromanagement and lack of benefits left boob right boob bra make hawkeye show only for disney plus make movie for everyone disney my childhood 25 year old depressed me let me in let me in [Music] when you start hearing voices but it's just your online class teacher when blows is so trash linux is best no linux sucks i prefer windows for the familiarity and software i need i use linux for its customizability and stability but i respect your choice of an os yo bro have you seen squid get shut the world if there was a mega mind to instead of despicable me someone disagreeing with you doesn't make them racist if those kids could read they'd be very upset this cat forgot how to cat but knows how to duck i like breathing oxygen joe rogan promotes inhalation of chemical commonly used to treat wastewater we are just stories to you we are not real you watch us fight lose tell me did you make popcorn while you watched ultron burn my world to the ground everyone watching the show [Music] when you're buying groceries and realize that you don't need to know x equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus 4ac over 2a years of academy training wasted not a single phone insight just five year old me and my home is doing an illegal construction the ad two-bedroom apartment one thousand eight hundred dollars in person one thousand eight hundred dollars per person it's blunt the person in front of you is also the person furthest behind you [Music] europeans discussing the value of human life also them when it came to gypsies [Music] don't feed the goats don't teach the goat italian teacher gets sick and his classes are called off students yes very sad anyway do not cross this field unless you can do it in nine seconds because the bull can do it in ten when you're telling your grandparents about your job and they have no clue what you're talking about but they're supportive when your non-binary friend is sad because they keep getting misgendered they're there not a single screen in just people living in the moment [Music] gets announced minecraft fans i don't want to play with you anymore me trying to look like i'm hurrying after someone stops to let me cross the road me waiting for all the spooked over memes chinese player joins me knowing he only has three hours to help me so i need to make it count a blessing from the lord asian parents described in one image nicole we need to talk about your report card but what did i do wrong i got an a plus then what is this f because i'm a female being a girl is not an excuse when you don't find heroin or edibles in your halloween candy like the news warned you about excuse me what the frick what i picture when i hear someone say ground beef frick you tony frick you ezekiel hide and seek has been a popular game for thousands of years because it teaches kids how to hide from deadly intruders and threats so this is a wonders the council will not be swayed i advise you not to attempt to change their minds those teenagers deserved it change our minds whenever people tailgate me when i'm going 40 in a 35 i always slow down because it's like i gave you an extra 5 and you didn't appreciate it so now you get nothing you're laughing a man just fell in the river in lego city and you're laughing it's full time to get sad for no reason at 6 30 p.m when the sun sets now nobody literally no one rule 34 artist [Music] adding frogs me realizing it's not wednesday let me get this straight you think apple watches are stupid and unnecessary i do and i'm tired of pretending i don't farting when you poop pooping when you fart man legally change his name to big d so that these nervous will keep my name out their mouth he taken a selfie with a security cam the energy surrounding this man is mythically powerful truly he is one we must fear man builds an irl minecraft pig called hamburgini that hits top speed of 20 miles per hour every minecraft player ever got to get one of those my sister flexing her medical degree me with my first cake day one leaf falls and it's immediately han solo season minnie i want the divorce are you freaking crazy no i'm freaking daisy divorce when you smoke the entire bag the same day you bought it when you accidentally say society in a conversation friend you can't possibly guess a wheel of fortune puzzle with no letters me [Music] me excited for halloween you see the difference between boyfriend and boyfriend is this little space we call the friend zone i went outside once and it was people out there and boy let me tell you no the air in the mornings of field trips used to hit different i'm not really a morning person but also not a night person so i guess i'm just trying to say i'm always useless and tired that feeling when you're smart enough to know how awkward you are but not smart enough to know how not to be awkward i wish i could help you serap but i'm a family doctor and you're an orphan when you realize you've seen a lot less chinese user names in game lately the day after tomorrow is called overmorrow for those who didn't know skeletor will return next week with more interesting facts why do i as an atheist have to do exponents in algebra when i don't believe in higher powers palindromes have become my biggest fear you have abophobia the bill is thirty thousand and three dollars the real reason why facebook was down click facebook on or off you guys always act like you're better than me her you wanna go upstairs me sure her you got protection me why what's up there [Music] if this bites me who do i turn into [Music] look at him he didn't watch squid game me with not enough money to buy netflix interviewer this is a fast-paced startup we make decisions at lightspeed can you handle that candidate wow yes what are the next steps interviewer we have a 17-part interview process that is conducted over four months me makes a typo in my meme everybody in the comments [Music] electric car charging point running on diesel generator elon musk jeff bezos when he sees his employees walk towards the restroom [Music] math problems in elementary be like i've bought 23 dozen oranges but at what cost my girlfriend around my family my girlfriend when she's alone with me i can see into the future what kind of special abilities do you have prostitute hey you sexy wanna get some me not interested prostitute i'll hug you and say i'm proud of you me you will i spent 14 years to improve my handwriting and now we're using keyboard you're lost in the middle of the swamps and see this what you do death exists buddhists you fool i have 70 alternative accounts the only thing i like about working at the movie theater is seeing this dad bring his daughter to disney movies her babe he's just a friend the friend eight-year-old me pulls loose thread from my sweater sweater [Music] society when someone drinks alcohol at the age of 17 years 364 days 23 hours 59 minutes and 59 seconds society when someone drinks alcohol at the age of 18 years zero days zero hours zero minutes and zero seconds maybe i wouldn't hate myself if i worked out nope that wasn't it gay people rely on straight people to produce more gay people jerry will be back soon with more accurate facts norwegian bodybuilders live in a tiny village to make themselves look even bigger please babe let's move to a bigger house check me out i'm big as a mountain there is a church in czech republic all made out of bones and skulls religious spooky noises childhood injuries fell of my bike fell out of a tree twisted my ankle adult injuries slept wrong sat down too long sneeze too hard it's not about the looks it's all about the hole extroverts when they are alone introverts when they are alone ah i miss the days of listening to my cds harry cds professor what are cds cds nuts lmao anyone know what this weird green stuff is people who can spell it people who can't spell it when you chose your homie for the group project but forgot both of you are damages how do you view lesbian relationships preferably with the vr headset and m4k but 1080p is fine too [Music] people who sarcastically make up a conspiracy theory people who actually believe in it frick europe freaking out because of russia increasing its natural gas price france with its 56 nuclear power plants six-year-old me tripping with my lunch the janitor what are you eating i'm eating kinda americans germans ao why the frick my render distance so low when you're not seeing enough spooktober memes fine i'll do it myself how to politely remind your friend that they owe you money game ends the lobby when you're 10 dangs 20 years 6i season 4 man that's crazy and they still won't stop talking [Music] when it's your first day in prison and you fart in the showers and someone shouts that sounds like my size woman in peter commercial stop over feeding your cat also woman in peter commercial when the car in front of you doesn't slow down at the yellow light you son of a beach i'm in you've been hit by you've been struck by a moose genital michael jackson everybody regular memes spooky memes how i imagined america what america actually is guess who's looking at memes instead of working when freddie mercury appears on dragon ball ready to fight your mom when she tells you she wants your willy wonka in her chocolate factory love your neighbor as yourself hello neighbor you freaking [ __ ] you worthless piece of human shoes say something smart kowalski by giving wrong answers two wrong answers only posts you give them right answers 60 gp to usd 69 egyptian pound equals 4.20 united states egypt the us trade offer i receive belly rubs you receive saw someone with a shirt saying truth plus god equals life i hope they realize that it also follow truth equals life minus god god equals life minus truth seriously do math people math is math nasa takes five years and millions of dollars to photograph a black hole me an intellectual [Music] finally a worthy opponent our battle will be legendary hello i'm going door-to-door preaching the good word of linux can i count on being your os average windows user when you want to go to school cause online sucks let me in let me in you already regret it and want to go home let me out let me out i wanted to give my dog a haircut and now i want him to leave my house i'm scared [Music] quiet kids according to memes quiet kids in real life i bet he's thinking about other women if you're invisible and you blink can you see through your eyelids because you're invisible on the outside your skin may be dark or light your muscles tight or loose you may be fat or thin but inside we are skeleton do goat this picture was given to class two children and they were asked to suggest a tagline the winning entry was never swallow your chewing gum paying for a quarter-sized pizza with a pizza sized quarter single people seeing couples in the internet flirting and cuddling all right i get it some of the nicest people you'll meet are covered in tattoos but not one juan will freaking kill you when you're washing the dishes and your neck starts [Music] itching once i became a parent i finally understood the scene where yoda gets so tired of answering luke's questions he just dies people sunday nights are stressful i hate mondays me who works at random shifts and forgot the meaning of holidays i don't have such weaknesses now i understand squidward another day learn english and become a marvel or dc villain learn japanese and become an anime villain aliens if you feel useless remember this button exists delete for me columbus day indigenous people's day [Music] just remember that the citizens of bikini bottom live under the sea yet mr krabs is still afraid to drown [Music] people who don't watch squid game are just edgy hipsters change my mind people who don't have access to netflix dad what part of the human body always loses the family no idea dad defeat when it's spooked over and dead memes rise from the grave amber heard has been fired from jason momoa as aquaman 2 the internet amber heard's career if you want to save some money at christmas now is the perfect time to tell your kids that santa didn't make it through the pandemic modern problems require modern solutions identity thieves be like and i took that personality a list of people who have crush on me guys when a girl messages them first out of nowhere um this is the longest road in the world that someone can walk my dad that's the path i used to take to go to school me on my way to find cardiac after he arrested my grandmother your mum wishes you happy birthday your friend wishes you happy birthday your crush wishes you happy birthday a streamer wishes you happy birthday odd numbers when they get multiplied by two we are even now beach will you help me looking for my jewish friend sure looking for jews is my family tradition what nichts she's he has the high ground music i play for friends my entire playlist of songs i actually like rtx off rtx on squid game fans shut up about it and let it be a good show keep pushing it in people's face and turn it into a show with toxic fans when you're typing a comment on a random post and then right in the middle you realize she's i don't care not interested in dating apps not interested in talking to random people in coffee shops or bars or shops need my soulmate to find me through intuition and echolocation right now immediately writers wanting to show that their character is a strong and independent female character be like using their personalities and actions to show that they are strong and independent this is brilliant this freaking hairstyle but i like this i believe in turtle duck supremacy i have two problems in life difficulty sleeping difficulty waking up five-year-old me thinking it's a real person the bot that had to lose against me for the tutorial when you're about to get freaky and she strips down to her bones [Music] my dad asking me how it was in school me who hates every single day in school humans creating miss universe award and giving it to themselves be like [Music] robber breaks into my house me who has a collection of medieval weapons in my closet i'm about to end this man's whole career dead younglings when they see luke become jedi master without having to learn that the midichlorian is the powerhouse of the force guys help me what the frick is happening feminists when the game is called hitman feminists when the game is called hit woman pug owners look at my little angel their pugs me mom can i have a gaming setup mom no we have gaming set up at home gaming setup at home i would like to say thanks to the person that taught me english english teacher mr morrison sit the frick back down i ain't talking about you youtube what's the difference between an american and a computer what the american doesn't have trouble shooting oh you normalize being little and stupid it's okay to be pathetic and useless and a burden and no good for anything japanese girls when a fat unhygienic american weeb with a small d and no life skills wants to freak them simba i possibly killed my father timon and pamba did you try not giving a freak simba my goodness what an idea why didn't i think of it me at 14 can't wait to travel the whole world once i'm earning my own money me now mustn't forget that tupperware at work it's my only one gay people need straights to make more gays lesbians can have kids with donors what about gay men gay men can donate sperm when you get a new pair of glasses ah i see well nobody 9 year old me putting a dislike to the video that the teacher said us to watch [Music] 40 gigabytes of computer space 40 gigabytes of console space 40 gigabytes of phone space 40 gigabytes of mp3 space can i copy your homework yeah change it up a bit so it doesn't look obvious you copied [Music] doctors adults should have five to seven hours of uninterrupted sleep every night babies no i don't think they will me who hardly studied maths for exam the first question when you don't know anyone in class and you have to work in groups shrek exists meanwhile in a parallel universe motorcyclist who identifies as bicyclist sets cycling world record quiet kids according to the internet actual quiet kids mom turns off the router to prevent me from playing games allow us to introduce ourselves me wanting to get into star wars eventually the fan base unicorn high capacity assault unicorn high speed underwater unicorn temperature resistant underwater unicorn 10 year old me going to sleep after watching creepypastas on youtube her i don't have a type her exes [Music] humans when mating hey i'm bout to go home and make a big dinner wanna come over why are you asking me these stupid questions you freaking stalker birds when mating hey bad that i don't even know say wanna make out after i make my super impressive dance yes who wore it better [Music] yo lobsters are mermaids to scorpions dude what the frick fastest path to paying off crippling student loans where is the tv remote the remote [Music] types of headaches migraine hypertension stress family talks to you while gaming me hey mom why are there no vampires in africa my mom this better not have to do with aids me who was about to say because the reigns are blessed no i don't have a gun so that was a freaking lie diglett use scratch [Music] the chinese government when someone sneezes but you don't say now bless you you just lost three points the guy who knows what the fox says the guy who out pizzaed the hut the guy who invented the clock and automatically knew what the time was the guy who knows where miki and his friends go after the clubhouse disappears another day in my 30s let's see what'll hurt today wheel of pain everything nine year old me talking to the friendly man in the white van so if i win this competition you call shreks you will give me candy yes someone how hungry are you me eat a friend heck eat them all i was like what happened to her legs then realized it's a damn bag of popcorn [Music] me uploads my first meme community rules hold up we all know someone who eats like this well of course i know him he's me roses are red humanity is going in dark ages trans woman who sued salon workers for refusing to wax her bulls loses court cases you can upgrade one organ in your body what's it do now well since i was born deaf you could imagine that it's an easy answer for me i would love to have a bigger d dwayne john's in the wok october 10 years ago october now i hear the government of west taiwan hates this map would be a shame if we all shared it german soldier disobeying direct orders to help a boy cross a newly formed berlin wall after being separated from his family 1961. who the heck took the pic though the sniper that killed both who wants to have the teacher's question answered who wants to answer the teacher's question how group projects start we are all in this together how group projects end fine i'll do it myself my mother is searching my computer she sees my homework folder she clicks on it solving your economic crisis demanding iran to pay 800 billion euros for a war that happened 2500 years ago [Music] me explaining to a customer that i cannot refund their 15 year old used earphones the customer is always right when you smell weed in public [Music] my anxiety so when do you leave because you secretly hate me my friends that's the neat part we don't me playing skyrim and building a house for my wife and kids the media yelling how all video games are violent absent father sucks but have you met the final boss the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable lol facts gay people rely on straight people to make more gay people avocado after i bring it home that avocado after few days 2021 halloween will be like i like hot babes i enjoy boiling newborns comparison how many sponge bobs to defeat spider-man when spongebob show up to his house catholic church geocentric model galileo finish a race finish a race like the video and subscribe right now and watch my previous tank memes videos thanks [Music]

Channel: Clumsy

Views: 185,276

Keywords: memes, dank doodle memes, best memes, dank memes, memes compilation, dank memes compilation, best memes compilation, clean memes, ddm, tik tok memes, memes clean, reddit memes, pewdiepie memes, family friendly memes, funny memes

Id: tBXnQE5PzqE

Length: 38min 50sec (2330 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 17 2021