What IsYour "Wait, You Didn't Get Laid?" Story?

hey rocket what is your favorite weight you didn't get laid story I was working retail sim years back imagine a group of people aged 20 24 on the average who like to party and shag like nothing else so there was a bit of the old physical tension between me just some regular looking Frick and this beautiful redhead short coworker chick with amazingly big green eyes a killer smile and a crazy side who was also a gymnastics buff so one night she and her neighbours were having a party we were playing some games and having drinks when she invites me to see her after everyone was next door we go up to her room she says to lay down and get comfortable at this point everything is frickin wonderful she puts on a movi curls up puts my arm to her chest we stop talking and I'm trying to heat things up then she doesn't respond we are talking three minutes tops from a rival to asleep are you freaking kidding me I have an erection you could Club a baby seal with I see if she is knocked out that light hey you awake no luck I go and finish the party and head home the next time I see her at work she asks why I left tailed her couldn't sleep and didn't want to wake her she then tells me in great detail that I should have stayed and what she had planned for the morning to reward my patience lesson learned but I still regret that crap five years later I have a handful of these but I'm too sober for more of this crap screw her and her games that wasn't your fault unofficial st. Patrick's Day at my uni I was hanging around a beer pong table when a random girl brushes by me me inebriated Austin Powers accent you just touched my bum her grabs my junk and pull me towards her whoops unofficial me steve brule accent you just grabbed my dingus I am an idiot it's for your health dummy recently started college fairly attractive girl invites me out to her party after class I say no thanks because last time I said yes to that kind of thing I ended up looking after some passed-out guy in a cold wet field for a whole night but then she gets right up close to me and says something to the effects of semen you can come to mind first and we can bake cakes which I was absolutely certain was a euphemism for let's Frank anyway I say yes we go back to her house and bake cupcakes later her boyfriend shows up and we all go out and get stoned the cupcakes weren't even that good I'm still not sure if she is flirting with me or just being friendly I can only imagine what was going through your head during each step of the baking process met this great Serbian girl at a friend's party in Brooklyn she was gorgeous to even the most critical of men I thought she was going after another guy so I honestly didn't care we started to talk about comic books and zombies two of her favorite things not a moment of awkwardness the party was over and it was time to leave a friend offers a ride for everybody and she was going to go he asked me if I wanted one I declined the Train will be just fine she decided to not take the car right there and take the train with me as well as that guy on the train the three of us are still talking as if the party isn't over it's the guys stop and he leaves leaving this great blonde and I alone we are still talking now it's my start she asked me if I think she'll be safe going to her place alone while you live in West Village right you should be fine it was something to that effect the next day I told my friend what happened and I've never seen him so mad every guy wanted this girl and I just threw it away without realizing it haven't seen her since this story hurts my dong I was walking a girl back to her place after a date chatting the whole time when we got there about 2:00 a.m. she asked me if I wanted to spend the night this went completely over my head I thought she meant it's late so why don't you just sleep on my couch I politely decline as my places within walking distance I give her a kiss goodnight and leave about halfway down the block I realize what just happened and spent the whole trip home cursing myself that awkward moment where one ways that the merits of running back or trucking on had just moved up north from Florida and didn't really know anyone so what do i do as a 16 year old guy at the time went to the park to scope out the fruits of the north this little bombshell walks by smoking I make a quip about smoking ruining that fine body or something like that I asked for a name and number and I go home for the night she calls me later the night asking if I want to go up to a campground and get wasted with a few of her friends I happily oblige also first time for me to get wasted so I head on out to the campground and it's her her best lady friend and myself we started off with three 5s of vodka and we all soon find out that for six feet one inches guy I just happened to be a massive lightweight not to mention my first time drinking after about two hours of drinking games and well over two fives being consumed she drags me back to my car and we both hop in the backseat strip and all that jazz now I'm on the verge of being blackout drunk actually already there just hasn't hit me yet I remember it being really dark and we were both really hot sweaty and I pressed my raging man phallus into what I assume is her tea after we had foreplay and remarque wow you're kinda dry she kinda looks at me and say yeah that is my belly button then I blacked out TL DR moved up north got drunk with a chick I just met tried to freak her in the belly button extra upvote if she was an outie around this time last year I was at home at around 2:00 a.m. on a weekend during spring break of my senior year of high school I was getting ready for bed when a good female friend of mine had called me completely out of the blue we did talk a bit there definitely was something between us but I never did anything about it anyways this phone call comes out of nowhere and it's her asking if she can come over and spend the night of course I asked why and she says well I went to go hang out at a friend's house but it turns out they moved or something so I say well that's weird why not just go home her well my parents have the security on so I can't get in the house me have you tried calling my sister she's probably away my sister is also a friend of hers and lives closer to where she was her I have but she didn't answer me well um I guess you could come over here I don't have a car at the moment so you'd have to walk where are you it's right now her location - one stroke two miles away me directions to get to my house from there her cool I'll see you soon bye so I figure that I'm not going to be able to go to bed anytime soon since I have to wait like 30 minutes for her to get here I decide to start a game of Heroes of Newerth big mistake as a game lasts about 40-plus minutes anyways she calls me about 15 minutes after she had hung up originally which was oddly at the time because the location she was at was much further away and so it should have taken much longer but I didn't think too much of it I bring her inside and she says something along the lines of well L l-l-l-l-like 10 minutes before I realized what the Frick is wrong with me there is a girl I'm crazy for like eight feet away that came to my house in the middle of the night under very strange circumstances but by then it was too late anything that might have happened was destroyed by my stupidity she was angry and ended up sleeping on the floor even when I offered her my bed oh well we did end up dating like a month after this happened but nothing ever happened there there's also another story about my stupidity and there - I'm pretty sure of all the things I've freaked up in my life nothing compares to my relationship with said girl but I've told my close friends of this encounter and asked them if I was correct and believing that it was some sort of booty call or anything that I could have capitalized on they very politely laughed their asses off at my obliviousness and reminded me that this is why I was a virgin at 18 I was talking to a girl at a bar about my love of cooking she says why don't you come to my place and fix yes fix me a cheese omelette I did then I left I needed to get home she was cute while I was studying abroad in Australia I got arrested and had to spend a night in jail I get home the next morning around 10 a.m. or so to my room mate making breakfast he asks if I finally got laid me nope jail so I'm doing the door at a nightclub on I went to German back pocket girls come past and ask what's happening later I tell him it's dancing champagne and general revelry later in the night they show I get em drinks throughout the night keep a general I'll them including watching random men hit on them when I asked them why they aren't hooking up they both answer with we are waiting for you girls show a lot of patience as I do have to work in between snippets of chatting to them eventually club closes more drinks are consumed eventually it's time to go somewhere else where do you want to go now I ask anywhere but a techno club one answers group of workers the two German backpacker girls and me rolls out of club to techno club group decision about 4 a.m. 5 a.m. and girls are nowhere to be found turned to mate and ask him if he has seen the girls and he says dude I can't believe you you just blew a surefire threesome rewound the night in my head and yep all signs pointed towards frickin TL DR had chance a threesome with two German back pocket girls and missed all the signs or they wanted your kidneys I'm an exchange student so one night I go out drinking with some friends from Canada and Australia we are all going back to sleep at the same house so the requisite halal we're gonna have a foursome jokes are being made we get sufficiently [ __ ] get kicked out of several bars for making out on their table accidentally steal some beer glasses standard drunk night before we take a taxi back we buy three bottles of red wine because goddamnit were not drunk enough we get back start chugging the wine and try to watch a movie but how drunk brains beside that hey it would be a good idea to actually have a foursome so I'm on the couch with the Australian and my friend from America is on the other couch with the Canadian when she drunkenly yell slurs put your dong III in mu uuh mu earth this results in insta boner kill because we are all laughing too hard but it never comes back oh we tried I start going at it with the other girl right in front of him pretty much smother him with my tea the dog even tried to help him kind of licked his knee but nope no boner for jacket sure so we did the only logical thing and passed the freakout no freaking was hard TL DR tried to have an international foursome fell asleep note to self foreign girls think the dog Canadian a foursome situation I'm managing a store and one of my employees is an 18 wire Nigerian virgin with the greatest size zero body I've encountered in real life I'll skip the story when she commented on my eyelashes and gently touched them I eventually gave notice and moved apartments ijuin Lee invited my employees to help me pack and she actually volunteered she came over and helped me pack my dishes not code and I thanked her for helping me finish things up she looked around and nearly insisted that there was more she could do but I considered things done in retrospect the goodbyes involved along awkwardly mattie stair two years later I looked back on this and literally did a fatter perm we really don't do subtle ladies even frickin obvious proves challenging I think the most important part is that last line I M was DD ein for my F roommate and some friends we eventually wound up at a house party we walk through the door and I felt like I was on the set of Jersey Shore all the guys girls were oranged button-down shirts with popped collars tweezed eyebrows etc I walked into the garage in disgust and of course what is playing on the big-screen TV in the garage freakin Jersey Shore there were some normal-looking people playing beer pong so we were hanging out there and then this completely normal gorgeous girl walks in looks around the garage comes right up to me introduces herself and stares into my eyes I shook her hand introduced myself and then turned my attention back to be upon completely missing the obvious later my roommate asked me why I turned down the girl and I was like what do you mean and then thought about it and then cried to myself for being such a blockhead epiphany hurts like a kick to the gut and Jumblies all at once I was on a second date with a girl I kind of liked at the end of the night I walked her home and while standing outside her place she literally pulled me into her apartment within 30 seconds we were on her bed cuddling as she made me feel her upper arm where she had one of those implanted birth control rod shaped thingamajigs wikipedia tells me they're called implanted in the u.s. I was a bit freaked out by this thing under her skin and asked what the heck is that she explained and I said ok and continued the cuddling after 30 minutes she told me I should probably go home I did and now I'm sitting here three years later finally understanding what happened that night I was drinking with this hot female friend of mine who had just gotten out of a relationship we got pretty drunk and decided to go home we live about 50 meters apart somehow instead of going home she went home with me laid on the bed and was kind of asking for dong I don't know what I was thinking but I started playing League of Legends and she fell asleep I'm imagining different scenarios where 50 M means 50 minutes miles or meters and trying to decide which is my favorite I was like in grade 11 or so around 16 and this girl I knew secretly had a crush on even though I was dating someone already who was in button never treated me right dragged me back to her house on her bed in like everyday for a week saying she was upset about her ex leaving her or something I was pretty attacted to her but questioning my physical orientation I say this because she was a lesbian and we were both chicks I was too quiet and shy to do anything even though it was all I could think of when I was there chicks can be oblivious to see TL DR lesbian totally begging for rebound freaking but I was too shy oblivious to do anything about it this chick I'd had a mad crush on all through high school came over to my grandparents house with me one late afternoon to enjoy some evening pool fun times we never been intimate in any shape or form not really even any hints at it just really chill friends the evening was a little more heated than usual for two reasons though one I had no shame in commenting on how amazing she looked in her bikini she's got no self-esteem and to her boyfriend of almost a year just up and disappeared two months earlier no calls no notes no last words it gets late as Frick her house was about an hour round trip for me and I was her only ride from there so I asked her if it was cool if she just slept over she excitedly agrees and so I told her about the second bed in my room that she can use then we trot upstairs and turn in for the night we have the fun late-night conversations too and throw each other's bed then I made a funny comment about how my bed's got an egg crate cushion that as doesn't and is much more comfy because of it next thing I know she jumps in my bed which is a twin sized bed so it was both of us practically nude and now spooning this thought now rages through my mind I'm now spooning the object of my fantasies for nearly five years h HH HH ng f g FF i have the i don't know what to do with my hands problem and just kinda wrap them around her and then try not to do anything weird because she's friend-zoned me for yours what seemed like hours later i finally gathered the courage to kiss her on the back of the neck and she responds by grabbing my hand that was wrapped around her taking it to her lips and nibbling on the tip of my thumb not knowing what the frick just happened i just kind of froze for a bit and then she took over rolling over and making out with me while rubbing one out on my thigh a steamy times but no frickin ensued until the Sun came up I got up to go and take a shower and I jokingly suggested that this shower was big enough for two people wouldn't you know it she joins me after I've been in for about a minute and I can see her in her completely naked glory a sight which is still vivid in my wonk bank today we start making out and it gets really saucy again and I started getting woozy like really woozy I had the hot water off the shower cranked up to almost max like I always do and then suffered from a massive heat stroke I got out of the shower and stumbled down the stairs to the tile and just laid on the cold stone for a bit until she came down and joined me I promptly took her home afterward her boyfriend showed up the next day he'd just gotten out of prison for beating a man within an inch of his life for stealing his car we never had steamy times again I am totally using wonk bank two years ago a girl I had a mad crush on sat next to me in class handed me a piece of paper saying she broke up I was like oh dang and continued working WTF was I thinking honestly in high school a girl could have passed me a note that said I need someone to freak with and I would have replied lol what a girl insisted I come smoke herb with her she picks me up takes me to a secluded spot gets me high and then tells me you know what I've never done hi freaking me oh okay she was cute I was just awkward hi and kind of just awkward we ended up doing crap a couple weeks later but still I was at an earther barbeque when this hot chick from uni walks up to me and stares deeply into my eyes we start talking for a bit and out of nowhere she just starts making out with me we do this for a solid five minutes and she deseed to take me back to her room we fool around for a bit and then after she falls over I realize exactly how drunk Shaklee how drunk Shaklee how drunk Shaklee how drunk Shaklee how drunk Shockley had that brought up the brilliant mental image of you suddenly sprinting into the night with your trousers around your ankles as the girl stares after you confused until she eventually passes out so a few years back a girl I had a mad crush on in high school messaged me over myspace wanting to hang out it had been a few years but now this girl was always a goody-goody with the large chest it always covered up dressing modest now I get there and she is wearing booty shorts a black bra and a see-through tank top as the night progresses we get in a tickle fight fast-forward a little she is telling me how she likes it in bed fast forward to 1:30 a.m. I mention how it's late and I should be heading home she says you can stay here tonight if you want me being the anti cptn obvious say now I can make it home she begs me for an hour to stay and I am still not getting the idea and leave it all clicks about halfway home and I did not turn back like the idiot I am TL DR they say we don't do subtle we also don't do freakin obvious either I just imagine you halfway home yelling out of the middle of nowhere son of a B as you realize it first night at my new University this is in 2008 I go up with some friends to a nearby bar we're hanging out nothing major happening I excused myself to go to the bathroom on my way back to my friends this hot drunk girl grabs me out of nowhere and says take me home though surprised and momentarily caught off guard of course I said yes and off we went the walk took about 10 minutes and when we got to her porch we started making out and that's where the story ends she just gave me of a number said goodnight and went inside before I even had the chance to say anything oh man so I'm playing an HL and 5 in the basement with a buddy when the phone rings it's my older sister's friend who was supposed to be out people unting with their crew turns out she had been fired and sent back to town I had met her when they were on days out and she was three years older than me very tanned and in great shape from working hard every day now she claims she's calling for my sister which makes zero sense to me since my sister is obviously still in camp she then tells me what hotel room she's staying in I assume it's a message for my sister shrug it off and say goodbye took me months to realize guy here here's a magical School Bus moment for you all I work at a software engineering company the days do get very long and strenuous what do I do to relax I jerk off I go to the men's restroom on a totally different floor it makes me feel like I'm on a different world altogether it's awesome 500 days of summer type crap long story short I was in the stall and had French pee on my iPad good ol milker manson my go-to gal and was about to climax when some girl blunt blouse and skirt and attractive came in and open up the door she just stood there and started nodding her head and said do you need a hand I blew my load all over my dang iPad looked at her without a horror oh God and then ran out of the restroom I just heard what the Frick in the distance as I left came back to my desk with semen all over me just sat there in frickin awe of what happened the look on her face I'd never forget like she's been in that situation before perfectly unfazed I've been looking for her ever since never saw her again God dang IT she must have been an auditor or guest Frick she was most likely serious about it the odds of that happening again never why did she go in the men's restroom no freaking clue two years ago to this day it took like half a year to get over my stupidity I lol at it now whatever TD LR always wanted to walk in on a girl masturbating and say you need a hand when it happens to me I fricking run away like a little bee and goodnight not sure whether I am turned on or embarrassed for you mine isn't as dramatic that it's fairly painful in a hotel room with a girl I liked and a bunch of friends me and her were on a bed together alone and the friends all leave us alone we are on the hotel room bed for about two hours after midnight watching TV and cuddling and I never made an attempt to kiss her this day I have no idea why I find the solution for resolving the doubts grief and heartache over situations such as this is to brood over them nightly for hours at a time if that doesn't work at vodka and start a career as a poet works every time if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video bye for now

Channel: Updoot Studios

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Rating: 4.8871794 out of 5

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Id: wpQTPpnXHQU

Length: 24min 47sec (1487 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 14 2020