What is the best thing you can do in this moment? | Denholm Aspy | TEDxHSG

I'm going to share an idea that has profoundly shaped the course of my life it's an idea that helped me through some of my darkest moments and allowed me to achieve things I didn't even know what possible this idea boils down to a simple question what is the best thing you can do in this moment to begin I'd like to tell you how I first encountered this idea twelve years ago I had an identity crisis my dream in life at the time was shattered and I had no idea what to do next this led me on a quest for meaning I started reading about Eastern philosophy Zen Buddhism and other forms of spirituality I discovered the book be here now by Ram Dass which had a particularly strong impact on me because it showed me more clearly than anything else the sacredness of the present moment I was so inspired by what I was reading that I started doing meditation at a Buddhist temple near my house every week I would go to the temple with the other students we recite Buddhist sutras and practice meditation with the monk who lived there and then we'd all sit around afterwards talk about the session and drink artichoke tea now I'll be honest with you it wasn't easy but I did eventually get used to the taste of the artichoke tea now one day the monk came in and he told us that we wouldn't be doing meditation for a while he was returning to Vietnam to give away money that he'd collected from donations he casually said come along too if you want no I'm pretty sure he was joking when he said this but I raised my hand and I said can I come suddenly everybody was staring at me the monk at the opposite end of the table studied me for a awkward moment finally he said really he was leaving in just over a month and I didn't even have a passport I'd never even been overseas before let alone into a non-english speaking country with a Buddhist monk that I hardly even knew you can probably guess what I did one month later I stepped off the plane and entered a world vastly different to the one that I'd come from I remember the heavy tropical air was rich with the smell of street food and car exhaust fumes I watched endless seas of motorbikes streaming through red lights as if the red lights were only there for decoration I saw so many amazing things and I followed this monk all over Vietnam to temples orphanages and hospitals and I watched as he gave away money and food and medicine directly to the people who needed it one place we went through was particularly moving it was an orphanage that had taken in babies and young children who were badly affected by Agent Orange which was used in the Vietnam War to destroy the forests and is still in the earth today now these babies and children had terrible cancers and birth defects many of them were in great pain many of them weren't going to live for much longer I was only 19 years old and I'd never seen so much suffering before in my life I was in shock and I had no idea how to act and so I just stood there and I watched I watched as the monk picked up the babies and cradled them in his arms I watched as he embraced the children that ran out to meet him and I watched as he gave away boxes of food and medicine after we left the monk asked me to come with him for a walk he proceeded to give me a one-on-one teaching about suffering and compassion but there was one thing that didn't make any sense to me you see I've been profoundly disturbed by what I'd seen back there but he seems so relaxed and so I asked him how is it that you can walk out of there and be so calm and composed I'll never forget what he told me he explained that a fundamental part of his way of life was to do the best thing he could in every moment he said that although he did feel deep pain and sadness in that orphanage the best thing he could do was to show love and care to those babies and children once he'd left he explained then the best thing he could do was to be as mindful as he could be in the present moment to be an example to others around him I was touched by this beautiful idea this beautiful way of life and I started to wonder what would it be like to live a life of doing the best thing you could in each moment on the first day of my PhD this idea was really put to the test the day started with someone trying to burn my house down now I've been warned that the first day of a PhD can be intense but this is not what I had in mind it was early in the morning and I thought I heard a sound in the front yard so I got up out of bed and I peered through the window I saw a man in my front yard and he was holding an open container of petrol in one hand and a jet later' in the other our eyes met through the glass and I saw the look of malevolent destruction on his face before I even knew what was happening we were both rushing to the front door I locked the door just as he started pulling on the handle I could hear him trying to break the door down bang bang bang as I ran through the house to escape but suddenly I noticed something this was the house from my childhood and I hadn't been here in years I've realised this was a dream in that moment all my fear melted away I walked right back to that front door and when I opened her the man was gone I was now looking out at the most beautiful botanical garden I had ever seen every blade of grass was unique they all swayed gently in the breeze I could hear the sounds of birds in the trees above me and I could feel the Sun and the warm air on my skin as I walked forward and explored this incredible place now when I woke up the first thing that went through my mind was I could study this in fact I'd always been fascinated by lucid dreaming my mind was reeling with possibilities but this was the first day of my PhD and I was supposed to be doing research on something completely unrelated I didn't want to ignore this feeling of inspiration but I didn't want to be impulsive either and so I asked myself what is the best thing I can do in this moment I decided to do some research and I quickly saw that no one had yet demonstrated a highly effective technique for learning lucid dreaming in the scientific literature I also saw a lot of limitations with existing studies small sample sizes of only 20 or 30 people in many cases many studies weren't looking at really important variables related to how the techniques work I saw there was an amazing opportunity here and so I came up with an idea for a new study there would investigate lucid dreaming techniques more thoroughly than ever before I went in for my University I've renegotiated my topic and then I embarked on a PhD in psychology specializing in lucid dreaming but there was a problem I was suffering from a chronic leg injury that made it very painful for me to walk or even sit down for long periods of time I was limited in my movement so how was I going to go out and obtain the large number of people that I needed to participate in my study to make it the best study it could be again I asked myself what is the best thing I can do in this moment how can I overcome this obstacle I realized that although I was limited in my movement there was a lot I could do from home with just a mobile phone and a laptop and so I started sending emails and making phone calls asking hundreds of people all over Australia if they would participate in my research soon people started signing up I then decided to do a media release through my university and this resulted in dozens of articles and radio interviews about the work I was doing then more people were signing up in fact every time I faced the challenge I asked myself the question what is the best thing I can do in this moment in the end 169 people from all over the country participated in my study and 53% of them learned how to have lucid dreams within one week this study the National Australian lucid dream induction study is now the most in-depth study of its kind ever conducted and I did the whole thing from home lying in bed you can see how powerful this idea is but you may also be wondering is it realistic to always do the best thing you can in each moment well no of course it's not even if you could it wouldn't be healthy to overthink your entire life like this it's also important to remember that doing the best thing you can is not just about finding solutions or making your wildest dreams come true as a counselor I've spent a lot of time helping people with to be their darkest moments sometimes the best thing you can do is just allow yourself to feel your pain sometimes doing the best thing you can feels like dragging yourself out of a dark pit but if you can remember to ask the question sometimes it's just enough to get you thinking and moving even if that just means getting out of bed even when you do ask the question it won't always go as well as you hope sometimes you'll think you're doing the best thing you can but later you've realized that you weren't seen clearly or that you've really hurt someone this is a simple idea but as you can see putting it into practice can be challenging so how do we do this first you need to remember to ask the question this becomes easier when you're more in touch with the present moment really aware of what's going on around you as well as what's happening inside of you your thoughts your feelings the physical sensations in your body the more in touch you are with the present moment the more you'll notice opportunities to ask the question and pause instead of simply reacting based on habit or emotion imagine what life would be like if we all trained ourselves to ask this question every time we became stressed or upset or angry or felt lost or confused it's very powerful once you ask the question you then need to find an answer but what is the best thing you can do I say act in accordance with your highest values these might be acting with compassion openness to new experiences spreading love and joy in the world ask yourself what kind of person do you want to be if you're struggling to get in touch with your highest values a good counselor can help but whatever you do make sure you identify your highest values and that you're not living someone else's idea of your best life here's the key to really understanding how this idea works you see it's not about the specific answers that you find it's not even about the specific actions that you take the real power of this idea is in asking the question and allowing it to guide you along your path think of it as a compass there's no way to know where it will lead you I had no idea that it would bring me here to this stage today and I don't know where it was taking next but I do know this every time you ask the question and then take action based on your highest values you take a step towards living your most valued life what is the best thing you can do in this moment thank you [Applause]

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 10,531

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Life, Dreams, Meditation, Purpose, Science

Id: sXt3tLIUibQ

Length: 15min 33sec (933 seconds)

Published: Mon May 06 2019