What I learned from my social media fast | Amber Quinney | TEDxYouth@Buffalo

six months ago I did something so unbelievable it changed my life I went on a 30-day fast and for the first time in a long time I felt free free to think free from judgment free to focus and free from this busy noisy information hungry world six months ago I did my very own social media fest that's right I logged off you see I only intended to fast for 30 days because I realized I was so far immersed in the social world I felt like I was losing myself but suddenly 30 days turned into 60 days in 60 days turned into six months six months social media free and I feel like I recovered from something that was heavily influencing my creativity and my intelligence in a way that I didn't like I felt like I was in my own world and I loved it you see that smile right there that's what I felt like but I learned something in these last six months I realized that social media is one of the biggest threats to the brain it's a very scary thought but social media has programmed us to think less to focus less into question less now let me be clear I am NOT anti social media as a marketer a social media consultant and research student I've benefitted firsthand from being on social media I've met business partners that began as simply a Facebook Connect I've profited from being simply social media savvy helping business owners position their online brands to attract target audiences I study behavioral effects of social media as the thesis of my research so again I'm not anti social media but I am conscious of the dangers of social media consumption and I use this word consumption it's an economic term to describe our social media use because we are literally feeding our minds ideas thoughts content emotions as we scroll up and down our timelines and we do it so frequently that these ideas thoughts emotions content become a habit it takes 21 days to make a habit so after 21 days this habit of constantly being on social media becomes a pattern of our character deeply ingrained in our lives I'm a research student at my college and while experiencing my social media fast I decided to change the topic of my research to focus on social media effects I was curious to know what are the tangible effects the difference makers of social media consumption and I was interested in three variables academic performance income levels and self-confidence or self-image so in other words I wanted to know is there a relationship between time spent on social media and grade point averages do students who spend more or less time on social media aren't better grades what about income the people who spend more or less time on social media earn higher wages or higher salaries and what about self-confidence do people who spend more or less time on social media have a better or worse level of self-confidence overall I wanted to know what difference if any at all that social media have on our lives and when I present my research in April my hope is to create awareness about social media effects and how we could use social media tools to add value to our lives now there are seven point six billion billion with a capital B people on this planet and of that seven point six billion about three billion are social media users Facebook alone has 2.2 billion monthly active users and those are active users that figure doesn't include people like me who take a leave of absence every so often 500,000 literally a half a million people joined Facebook every single day which amounts to about six new profiles every second three two one eighteen people just joined Facebook in that last 30 seconds of the 2.2 billion people on Facebook about 76 percent say that they check it daily by a show of hands and be honest how many of us here check Facebook or some form of social media at least once a day our hands go up fair enough now the problem with social media is that it's programmed us to behave in ways that are dangerous to our mental well-being first social media has created this fake world of perfection and we've been programmed to curate our lives around this fake sense of perfection let me explain what I meet anybody here follow a few people on social media whose life just appeared to be so perfect like men so-and-so is always on vacation it looks like that person's always eating out every time they're gonna snapchat best grades beautiful family anybody follow a few people like that now what I'm not saying is that what I'm not saying is that that person's online posts or online activities are false or fake that's not what I'm saying because I'll admit I'm one of those people who have been told wow your life looks so great so that's not what I'm saying what I am saying is we shouldn't judge a person's online life we don't know their offline life we don't know their offline reality because what happens is we begin to compare ourselves to people who's online controlled take anybody read a good book here lately recently that's like reading a book and comparing your life to a character in a book understand that social media is nothing more than the virtual world full of narratives stories that people tell about their lives and experiences and the thing is we want to tell the world all the great and the positive things about us which is fine but what we cannot do or what we should not do is judge ourselves criticize ourselves against what we perceive other people's lives to be that is one of the psychological effects of social media we've been programmed to constantly play this game of catch up constantly catching up with the next person competing with the next person when what we should do is embrace where we are in our own individual journeys and believe me if you're here today you're exactly where you need to be second social media has taught us to constantly be seeking social validation social validation is when you write a post upload a picture and then spend about 20 minutes or so rearranging the caption in a million times this has come up with something that people will like love or something people will share essentially something that people would react to something that people with socially validate this is big on Instagram how many Instagram users do we have in the room so you probably know about the Instagram well I call it the Instagram so Instagram is an image sharing site and the insta draft is when you take a bunch of photos compare them and then the best one makes the cut who's done that before it's okay no shame you take about 30 different selfies they all look just about the same something like this or like this selfies are front right you'll take about 30 different selfies that all look the same and your friends will help you narrow down the top three or the top five and then your try on different captions and different filters and boom the winning picture and the winning caption makes it to the right the instil hey a your Instagram profile where all the other perfectly curated image and captions exists that is ridiculous think about how much time that takes or think about this people actually experience identity crisis because of that kind of social pressure social validation is when social media users are constantly posting for likes and attention and they feed their ego with this false sense of confidence true self confidence is the only form of validation that we need and true self confidence is something that grows on the inside not online lastly and probably worst of all social media has programmed us to think less or as one researcher put up put it we began to outsource our ability to think digest that for a moment if you will we've outsourced our ability to think how is it that our ability to think to think critically to rationalized to create the images we see inside our imaginations the innate feature that makes us all human how is that outsourced and to whom do we outsource well search engines of course business owners are familiar with this term called outsource it means to obtain a good or service from an outside supplier especially in place of an internal internal source hip-hip so in other word person a pays person B to do a job the person a could do but it seems I don't know more cost-efficient for person B to do the job social media has taught us to do that same kind of outsourcing with our brains everything is findable on Google so we think instant information is at our fingertips so instead of gaining knowledge through practical and life experience we just ax our good friend Google and in less than a second Google has an answer well everything if everything is on Google then perhaps everything has already been learned and there's nothing else to be learned there's nothing else to be learned do you see how that pattern of thinking could be dangerous I call it mindless behavior the Internet has amplified this trend of shifting knowledge from the inside to the outside and taught us new strategies to find information we want to know through search machines but the truth is there is something new and exciting to be learned every single day and not everything could be found on Google more often we should look within ourselves for the questions that we seek answers to rather than outsource that intelligence that brilliance to a search machine so what's the point of it all it's this social media is killing our social capital as a society one light at a time but I believe I believe we can reverse those habits on social media and we can use social media for social good believe it or not my friends we can use social media to add value to our lives I'll show you how first social media can be used as a tool to self brand how many here know that personal branding is important personal branding matters I've landed interviews internships and countless career opportunities by being mindful and diligent about my personal brand online and offline I tell people all the time the amber that you meet online is the same amber you'll meet offline Facebook Instagram and LinkedIn are great tools for helping us develop our brands when I say brand I don't mean he say she say nonsense or hearsay I mean how you consistently present yourselves or conduct yourselves online we have to be very cognizant about what our online profiles say about us as they could open up opportunities for us just as quick as they could close them so let's make it our business each of us to conduct ourselves online in such a way that is consistent with our values and our true character another thing social media is a great tool to help you expand your network now I'm a networking guru and I limited connecting with people outside my immediate circle exchanging ideas and information developing relationships that stuff is fun to me but that is not to be confused with connecting with strangers online you see me must be very selective about who we choose to connect with and who we allow to be connected to us because frankly not everyone has our best interests social media can be used as a tool to cultivate relationships with people we actually know I use Facebook as an example Facebook is a who you know network my rule of thumb is I like to know 90% of my facebook network meaning for every 100 Facebook friends that I have I know 90 they are not strangers in the other 10 the expectation is at some point in the near future will connect further maybe we'll see each other at an event maybe we're planning to attend the same conference maybe we have a number of mutual friends who could provide an introduction but the point is we're not aimlessly connected on Facebook and we're not following one another without a purpose I'll show you an example of how social media can be used as a tool to self brand network together and how that could yield positive results for everyone I received this message via Facebook about a week ago from a young lady who I will say is in my age group a lot of times when we think about networking we think about networking up but I'd submit to you today that it's equally important to network across in your peer group what people who are here today so I received this message on Facebook from a young lady we don't know each other personally but we've been connected on social media for some time we have a number of mutual friends she introduced herself and she said amber I want to applaud you for all that I see you doing on social media I want to invite you to be the first feature of the first edition of my online magazine Wow talk about opportunity right first of all shout out to her for using social media for social good because her online magazine is going to tell the stories of women and girls and inspire people across the globe but secondly you see how we could use our personal brands to attract opportunities to us and connect us with like-minded people of everything we've heard here today there are three things that can be taken away to help all of us have better online experiences first if you do not have an on if you do not have a positive purpose for using social media then log off and log off immediately as a marketer as a Content writer I'm here to tell you it's not about the likes it's not about the number of followers it's about pure engagement real life and real time engagement and we should use that same approach in our personal lives we have to be clear with ourselves and honest about what our real intentions are so the next time you got a press send on a post which will inevitably be today remember this talk and action so what is my intent is it to motivate the spotlight or bring awareness to to bully or harm someone with my words what really is my intent second learn to like yourself first if you ever hear the phrase if you live by people with compliments you'll die by their criticism it's true when you actually like who you are appreciate what you have to offer the road you won't find yourself seeking social validation online so learn to like yourself first so that every other like on or offline will just be extra and lastly this one is my favorite consider cutting back on social media by logging off and logging back into your real life for every 30 minutes you spend on social media do something that stimulates your brain you can read a chapter of a book how many here know that leaders are readers see II always read about sixty books a year whereas the average person reads just one book a year they call it face book in those 30 minutes no shade you could you can do so much you could learn a new skill you could have a deep offline conversation want someone anybody here see black panther lately that movie alone has sparked such great and necessary dialogue you can read a book you can learn a new recipe spend time with a loved one you could teach a class you can do so many things someone here I was talking to in the audience before I got up here say they took a trip to Africa since they've been off social media you can do so many things do something so profound that it ignites your soul every since I logged off social media and log back into my personal life I've been able to reclaim my time like never before and I know that you can't sue thank you [Applause]

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 224,197

Rating: 4.9330153 out of 5

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Social Science, Psychology, Social Media, Society, Technology

Id: gM3KIvZO5oU

Length: 18min 32sec (1112 seconds)

Published: Mon May 07 2018