What is Partner Betrayal Trauma™ | Why the book | Dr. Doug Weiss | Daystar Marcus & Joni

well I'm holding in my hand very important bullet from a subject that unfortunately has affected a lot of people the author is dr. Doug Weiss he is the head of heart-to-heart counseling center in Colorado Springs Colorado he's also the president of the sexual addiction Association I'm sure don't have that name completely right but the book is entitled partner betrayal trauma and just as real as PTSD is people that have been betrayed whether it's through adultery whether it's through pornography or sexual and erech SIA and that is a real thing they can experience that type of trauma so we need to learn about this today so a either a we can heal from it or B we can avoid ever getting ourselves in that situation so please join Joanie me as we welcome back from Colorado Springs Colorado dr. Doug Weiss [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] okay I want to say something here right at the very beginning about this subject is that sometimes it's real easy to blame somebody else for the things that we do we can say if if he would have done this or she would have done that or if this hadn't have happened or I was molested when I was little or whatever in the world excuses that we come up with yes there can be contributing factors to wrong behavior but the decision is yours the decision is mine it's our decision and we must take full responsibility for our actions and realize that our actions are not in a vacuum when you throw a pebble into a pond you can have a peaceful pond but when you throw that pebble in there then there's ripples multiple and it seemed big get go on and on and on so you didn't do this in a vacuum you're not only affecting your spouse but your children your grandchildren other family and friends people involved in your church etc so I want you to listen today because this is something that's going to help you as I said earlier either to heal from a betrayal either you suffered or you caused or to prevent you from ever finding yourself in this situation sir why don't you write this book well because I deal with partners for over the last thirty years who've been betrayed either by infidelity sexual addiction or intimacy anorexia and we see them and sometimes they stay crippled for a long time and damaged and I'm like there's something going on and so we finally did some real significant research I mean these ladies fill up two hours of surveys before and after the trauma and they taught us so much about what happens to them physically the bodies actually experience trauma and emotionally and in the relationships and it's just riveting okay now you said ladies but let's be fair to the men it can happen it's not always I mean they're if a man is unfaithful he had to have a woman well these days most of the time he had a woman to be unfaithful where but usually it is the man probably well this book is aimed towards the women there there might be a book for the men but this is for the women because women tend to try to stay in the relationship they try to work it out but they're wounded as they're trying to work it out and the and what's really incredibly courageous incredibly powerful is here is the man who said they would never hurt you they'd destroy your life and yet like like a superhero they open up the heart and they come back to that very same man and they try to love him and they try to walk through it even with this scrap metal inside of them and as they as they walk through that relationship these women are my rock stars I'm a I love them all over the world they fly from all over the world we're doing a conference for them re-- an x month and we see these women stand up and save their families where the man that has done all he could do to destroy it and they heal and that's just beautiful to watch it makes me just want to cry as thinking about them I just want to say something wonderful about you ladies that if it wasn't for you most of the churches that exist today would not exist and unfortunately and this is to ashame to most men you ladies have to be the spiritual leaders of your marriage and of your home it shouldn't be that way not be that it's better to have a lady as the spiritual later than no spiritual leader Johnny yeah I mean I was gonna say this is something I don't know if I've actually seen this much research done on never been done on this book so I think that the important thing is like you said for men and women that are trying to keep their marriage together maybe they've had trauma like you said the man or the woman or both I mean I've heard all of this different scenarios the thing is there is hope and healing oh yes and there is restoration and I guess that's your endgame in all of this I'm sharing but how important is it for either the spouse or the husband or the wife to understand what betrayal really does how important is that well I think it's huge because since this book has come out in the video men's lights come on they're like oh my gosh this is what I've done to her yeah that's what you've done to her and they're like wow and for women they've never had a resource where they could hand to their mom or their sister or their friend and say read this and you'll get why I am different you'll get why I am depressed you'll get why I have nightmares and why I'm still thinking about the day he told me and I was on the floor for an hour and half crying and I'm still I still see that in my mind you'll understand that I'm normal that I'm not being a drama queen right and so the reason and sharing this then is I'm sure not to bring condemnation or guilt but just understanding so that you can walk through that process it's Garrity yeah it's like yeah honey you have been hit by a car here let me show you read this and and they can go oh my gosh that's why my hormones are wacked out that's why I can't get out of bed that's what yes it's now let's let's make a plan for those things don't stay there but now you know why dr. Weiss Amen look there it is partner betrayal trauma there's the website would you lead us in prayers we close the father we thank you for the men and women who reach out to Daystar who support Daystar we thank you for those that are pain that you are their healer and today you spoke a life yeah courage them to take the next steps already we bless you and we thank you that you're king of kings and Lord of lords of all of those who hear this word today in Jesus name Amen

Channel: Dr. Doug Weiss

Views: 28,039

Keywords: what is partner betrayal trauma, what is betrayal trauma, doug weiss, marcus and joni, daystar, infidelity trauma, relationship trauma

Id: p9XYFW9vQ94

Length: 7min 9sec (429 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 20 2019