Lusted After with Doug Weiss | Daystar | Joni Table Talk

[Music] coming up why do men lust and how should we as women react dr. Doug Weiss gives us the answer next the conversation starts now real friends loving laughing and learning together share these stories one life at a time so grab a seat welcome to Joanie table doc [Music] well in today's visual-based world with swipe right dating apps and social media likes it can be difficult to navigate especially for women also for men how do you deal with the issues like lust in our current culture well with the help of our special guests you'll find out but before we get to that join me around the table is my newly married daughter Rachel how are you again you're getting to be on The Mary the Mary chose hopefully I offer some good wisdom good good conversation you always and from the Millennials yes we have a lot of them and it can't don't how are you just wanted what generation are you a baby boomer no I'm just right before that I don't are you a where am i boomers okay and welcome dr. Doug Weiss what are you I am glad to be here okay well with the current sexually charged atmosphere we live in it seems difficult now more than ever to deal with the issue of lust today we're here to find out why it happens and how to deal with it so tell us what is lust in the Bible yes okay yeah the serpent you know showed the woman but then she she lusted after it lust is always an internal event okay it's it's humans who lost it's a joy okay it's a choice we'll get to that later maybe but the devil the devil's never blame for lust one time women are never blamed for lust one time men are caution don't lust after her beauty but the beauties never why a man lust lust is always the responsibility of a man or a woman cuz women lost - mm-hmm okay women lust in towards the men but they also like the way they deal with each other is a form of last word hey you got to better know you got a nicer hair you at that listen please well didn't Eve last actually did the information that she did serpent was telling her as she was missing out on and that God would lie yes she was flat-out lied to but she no but she should have known it was live because she was told the truth by God yeah so she she had she had to go oh I want something when lust is basically when you disagree with what God says mm-hmm about anything okay when you the tenth commandment says thou shalt not lust or covet or easily desire it depending on your translation what a man's house a man's maidservant some man servants husband wife donkeys you know I mean goes through the whole list and at the end it says and any other thing that belongs to your neighbor like cell phones TVs diamond whatever so it really was an inward and unless this issue of the heart yeah issue of the heart it's the issue of the heart and so this is why I want to talk about I did lusted after because so many women when they get lusted after now here we got pretty much every we got a blonde a redhead or brunette okay and so it doesn't matter what you look like doesn't matter how old you are it doesn't matter what your body type is doesn't matter what your skin looks like there's no factor that you bring to the table that causes lust but women will feel ashamed they will feel slimed they will feel disgusted sometimes they feel aroused and like hey somebody likes me but that usually is like the first microsecond and then the second one is why you're looking at me what's wrong with me did I do something that's mala you do yeah how am I responsible for your behavior so there you go I just want to know okay and so we created this whole lusted after because women don't have the tools to understand what's even happening at the moment and at the moment it's not about what's happening with them it's what's happening with the person who's deciding to lust okay but but I'm gonna have to just argue with you a little bit I'm not afraid because they do think that women do have a responsibility I mean babies Rasik you know if I'm gonna you know walk out in a scantily cloud outfit like I can't expect somebody not to lust after me because I'm out there on display hey would you we're not arguing we're agreeing okay I agree women have responsibility to dress modestly but you could be dressed in a burqa and a guy could lust after you it's not the solution but all Christian women should dress appropriately and some don't and there are women who are sexually abused borderline personality disorders are broken sexually and the only thing they think they can sell was their body so they put it on display to get sexual energy because they intuitively understand men are attracted to the holy their body see women's bodies are holy and when you expose more of the holiness it draws a certain kind of attention now men and I go through this and lusted after there's two responses to holiness okay so you're familiar with the story in Genesis 18:19 there's two angels and the pre-incarnate christ they meet Abraham and they say we're gonna destroy Sodom and Gomorrah right Abraham boughs down in response to the holiest cuz angels are holy I mean almost every time you see an angel you see a man bow down okay and so he vows down on a reference chapter xix the two guys walk off these are angels they walk into Sodom Gomorrah lot sees him at the gate he bows down and he restrains them to come to his house that night to protect them so he reverences and protects so when you see holiness a man will give reverence and protection now what did the sodomites do they saw the same two angels and they sexualized them they lusted after them because internally they lusted after what was holy and they wanted to consume them sexually so men decide how they deal with the holiness of a woman okay but you first men need to know that that's the book clean it's a whole nother project but when you understand that women's bodies are holy then it's our responsibility to respond to that holiness and protection and reverence not consumption and sexuality even if she's broken so using the example of Potiphar's wife who went after Jessi was sexualizing Joseph so I mean it came to happen the other way as well I was lusted after by both genders yeah I've seen lots of men over the years and men have been sexually abused in men's rooms a lot yeah so this really what you hit on something and I think you know social media unfortunately there's a lot has a lot of good things about it but also has a lot of bad things about it in that you see all these pictures posted even like I'm pretty careful with you know following you know certain you don't send her a bus ticket every once in awhile you'll see something you're like oh my goodness and they have that on you know I'm or not super nice yeah it's out there and then you've got you know all of those true I don't know if I should say the name the Kardashians and you know on these people they want to be like they want to be for commerce right yeah there's a prostitute leagues down with all nations that's the Internet okay and the commerce that goes on through sexualities billions and billions of dollars just what's on television and we're not talking about paid you know HBO and I mean all the sexual services that are out there so but women intuitively understand that men are aroused by their holiness by the woman's holiness okay they've known that for thousands of years it's nothing new okay and so what happens is if a man has developed a sexuality by looking at pornography and fantasy he doesn't see holiness he see body parts and when he sees body parts he wants to consume well what does it mean to consume I want to buy what you got as I want to simply buy with you guys yeah yes I'd like to conquer so that's somebody to be conquered well that's why you have like these large body part people selling tires and toothpaste and crazy stuff that's why because men men won't stop to look at a toothpaste but don't stop and look at holiness mm-hm and see the world doesn't know that it's holy they don't know that they're holy so them exposing holiness is really easy for them okay what's sadder to me is that the men in the church don't know women are holy yes true cuz they're not taught you see I'm saying they're not taught that women are holy they're not taught to protect and to reverence them and so what happens is the church has become more corrupt and more vulnerable and not leading the charge on protecting women some of the singles groups in church oh there's a lot of activity going on there a lot of stuff going on so see you really are issuing a clarion call not only to women who have to deal with this or men but you're issuing a clarion call to men and women of God to wake up and entreat men and women the way that God to behave holy themselves but to actually in lusted after see the reason I did this is because so many women when they get lusted after they make up a story that it's about me or you know I'm causing this or you're not causing this they're they're maybe they were sexually abused maybe they have a sexual addiction maybe they have that maybe they're broken in some way these are not strong men lusting after women strong men don't lust after women they know ones more than enough okay what kind of men lust after women broke even they didn't have dancing their moms they didn't have any kind of moral spiritual education or training they weren't respected they were mostly physically or sexually abused themselves so they can't they can't really see it sounds like we need more strong men to raise our children well men are supposed to be raising men yes okay but it's there's a challenge because our culture has decided that being a boy is a man and do what you want to do and play with who you want to play and when it well that feels good for you do it but our development is menís kind of state adolescent in an addictive culture and so now we have a problem when a real man stands up and says no that's holy they go what are you crazy yeah so you know there are women even watching right now that you've had to deal with sexual harassment in the workplace and they somehow believe it is something I did or say or whatever so talk to those ladies how would you counsel them to work through that of course I know you should report it number one okay I could report it they can talk to an attorney they can talk to HR there's no tool in church like lusted after because there's no place in the church where we even talk about what to do with that exchange at the supermarket where the guys like checking you out like we don't know what to do with it so we don't talk about it and this again when a woman who stands okay she has choices okay he's broken now picture him is a little boy he's a broken boy looking into this isn't a man now use your spiritual gifts use your spiritual what should she do she can price the Lord that's a broken man heal him bless his marriage bless his children heal what's broken in his heart that he has to do this and now you walk out of there totally empowered instead of feeling slime do you feel like you just declared victory for that man over his life it's it's the same thing I tell men if you got a woman hanging out of her shirt and she's got his shorts all the way up to the backside she's crying out for someone to intercede and pray for her okay that's what that is it's a cry for help so if you see her as a person who's broken crying for help then do what you're supposed to do on earth loose I mean then bind and say okay in the name of Jesus father I declare her salvation her freedom our healing I pray you send the people and it's not me to her I think the same thing for the woman she could pray for that man is broken yes I know that there are so many women just like you described but all of the sitting at this table well I know I'll agree that we have known women in our life that did operate is that is there not anything like the woman you're talking about the woman who's being who's being lusted after there are women who use their sexuality and the Bible actually has a lot more warning for men about women mm-hmm then women to be warned about man yeah okay and so yes the way think about people like Samson well sex is taking down Sam I mean taking down a lot of because it's a number one weapon then of the enemy always has me because it has the most impact and so he will constantly use it cuz it's the one thing that can take you out there's nothing new Under the Sun nothing new under then what about dealing with this kind of way doctors okay there's a book called sex men in God and there's a whole chapter on who she is okay and how she talks and what she does and it's very specific the seductress will praise you always positive will touch you just kind of you know that thing she's drawing energy she will allude to there is no accountability my husband's off in a far-off place she will loo to there's no accountability what we're gonna do I'm gonna do something special for you I have incense made okay and so she will sit there's a known pattern of seduction and when you know the pattern of seduction you can spider like that I can spider all the time I can hit on I mean believe it or not right and so I can spot it like that cuz I know what I'm looking for because if someone says oh dr. Weiss you're so amazing you're so wonderful I go okay you're an idiot to begin with let's we established that okay okay right so then I can take it from there and then she's gonna touch me and she wants then she wants have a private conversation not on baby I know what you're up to yeah I'm not I'm not I'm no longer pray mmm I'm not I'm not a predator but I'm no longer prey is there a time in your life where you could have been a prey I was you were I was 16 17 year old I go into a bar and go home with a married woman there was time when I was a prey yeah yeah then I thought it was it wasn't me I was in an environment where seductresses were all around like I'm thinking you home okay follow me I didn't know I was prey the things I loved that you've told before is that when you're because you're traveling and stuff and you and Lisa you keep really good communication and you pray pray in the morning over her you all say what is it three good things or two places today two feelings today in pray yes but you've had that happen before when you were traveling where a woman would hit on you and you'll call her oh yeah I do tell her I'll tell her yeah like you always shine the light on it oh yeah yeah yeah I don't want her to know that I mean if someone had something it's like I'd say hey I wish that such a place as gooks are talking to me and I could tell she wanted me to and what ELISA so what is least to say when you do that do this she that goes it happens it's as part of life I know you all have some questions like this well let me give an example years ago we had a Christian bookstore which is a pretty safe place but you were just young believing I was a young believer but so this meant you've always had Bethy oh my god this man won and he was really handsome now the devil knows the kind of person that will tempt each of us because we're not all tempted by this person so I go back to my bookkeeper and I said Betty go out there and look at that man he has got the most gorgeous blue eyes I've ever seen so she jumps up and runs out there and looks at him then the store got busy and I forgot about it and I'm checking someone out of the register and this man walks up and he said I've never been in a store like this what is this and I said oh it's a Christian bookstore and you know and and he said what does Maranatha mean and I said well that means the Lord is coming and we believe he's coming back soon and - and every day in people's lives and if he reaches over inside you he said you know I like it here and he said I'm in town just about once a month I'd like to come by and see you I'd like to get to know you now let me tell you two thoughts over here is that the one with the beautiful blue eyes yeah that's all the beautiful eyes yeah blue blue eyes is looking at me now and I said over here this little voice said girl you still have it I'm married about 45 and I think yeah I still have then over here this voice says don't you for a minute think he's tracted to you he's attracted to the Jesus and you now give it to him so then I go gave him my testimony about God you know healing my marriage and then amazingly Fred walks in the back door I'm introduced afraid takes him out for coffee and takes them to church with him but that isn't getting saved praise God do you see how I could have gone the other girl you still said that if you don't feel wanted and desire in your marriage that could be vulnerable if you don't feel wanted or loved by Jesus it can be vulnerable you know yeah I know Lisa thinks I'm amazing okay and I think she's hot just too okay and that makes it really easy yeah you know but this is um it's I'm trying to communicate that lust is not about you yes it's not about is about in the world you had nothing to do with that although you're attractive isn't that doesn't cause lust he was lusting at heat and he was actually wanting to consume you I want to buy what you got yeah I will give you the exchange of time our money our dinner or what I want to use you for and so when a man takes you and scans you into an image and wants to consume that image that's where it's that's lusts and it's not about the woman and so if you feel slimed or dirty you don't have to you can feel empowered there's very several tools you put in less than after where you can leave that circumstance and feel like you won yes well I felt like I did after after well that's a good start you have no husband you back pocket but that does always happen so what would you say to women who are watching right now who are struggling with maybe some of that kind of attention that you're talking about but it's not righteousness it's it's lust how can they well what's going because if someone's talking with less that's supposed to they have a sexual addiction so they they basically are sexualizing you right and so you go out there and you're presenting a sex object well you're gonna attract people who are looking for a sex object they're gonna use you they're gonna hurt you they're gonna throw you away and not gonna they're not gonna want to have your kids not gonna pay your bills or not gonna be there when you're sick okay so I tell I was a good one they're not gonna be there when you're saying so I do like singles conferences and youth conferences and I draw the brain so if a guy's brain is thousands of hours looking at pornography then you show up looking like pornography you're gonna attract the sickest guys in any environment I can be attracted to you mm-hmm so if you want the sickest guys go ahead and dress like that mm-hmm if you want the healthy guys dress where they have to like they can't figure it out and they gotta get to know you first mm-hmm okay people attract broken people well that's true I mean if this person's broken in one way and she's broken in another way of course that's gonna work if I'm an object and you're an object we can have an object relationship but if I'm a soul then I want to know your soul you know what I'm saying and so the people who are lost a lot of them are stuck and that's about them being broken it's again it's not a woman's fault if a man lust after him no more is it a man's fault if a woman chooses lust after him uh-huh you know jack I think this teaching is so powerful because like you've said nobody's talking about it so can can women basically what I hear you say is that women have taken the blame yeah a lot of these oh my gosh that has gone on especially in the world and society that we live in in this church this is kind of what I mean it's talked about as it was in the days of Noah so shall it be at the coming of the son of man and me this is really an evil season that we're we're living in it's the brightest worst season of humanity the brightest worst it's the brightest worse because the gospel is now on the cell phone the gospel is going to places where the government said it can't go there getting the gospel it's the brightest season of the church and it's the darkest season of humanity because pornography is a large part of the Internet sexuality is being reduced to a handshake there's the commitments the word covenant doesn't have any meaning even to Christians mm-hmm okay and so we're in we're in the brightest darkest moment and that's where Jesus always shows up yeah you know Jesus came when Rome was in a very bad place okay and I think I'm excited because I truly believe her viable is gonna come before anything else and I believe we're on the tipping point to see more people coming to Christ following him passionately and so we should be excited because we're on the brightest side of this list amen probably dad he gets this resource is it just for women it's geared towards women because women are the ones who feel bad about it if you lust after a guy he doesn't go feel bad about it he was like yeah and he doesn't have a bad day do you have a feeling about it it's like yeah she thought it was hot no big deal so but women they take so this is for women and every church should have at least one copy and all women should sit down in and their woman's thing and watch the hour and a half or two hours and eat popcorn and go oh I didn't know that oh I didn't know that oh I didn't know that that makes more sense because if they think differently about the experiences that walk through it more intelligently and powerfully they should walk through it powerfully what about same-sex attractions of people who are dealing with that well lust is lust no matter what it is that commandment doesn't separate gender lust lust is when you think differently about anything than God thinks so that would be how God thinks if you think differently then you're gonna struggle with lust in that area so someone who's watching right now that has trauma or they had trauma either growing up or with a parent or with sexual abuse or molestation what would you encourage them to do as they're maybe being affected by this very thing you're talking about they don't even realize that unhealed trauma well if if some1 lust after them and then they're shutting down and they're getting really triggered it's usually trauma that's not being dealt with I would say get some books on trauma I would say talk to a counselor and see you know talk to your pastor see who they recommend or who really specializes in trauma not just advertised but specializes in trauma and see if you can get to what's going on because it cuz if a man's lusting after you and you're getting into all kind of weirdness about it there may be something unhealed inside your system that once healed you won't act you won't respond the same yeah that's good well I know that you have another series is called Prince's talk longer things just take longer than frogs frogs and that's where your teenage daughters are you 20-something daughters sometimes do they can separate what a man is versus a vice or something over here is she she's approached every girl usually kisses a frog before she finds all right you say to the girls that are staying with those frogs what are they missing out on they're missing out on God's vest for their life and I think a lot of times you know we settle for what's good and we don't wait for what's best and I can tell you the differences it's just something that you could never even imagine or dream because it's like girls get stuck here and they think oh this is as good as its ever gonna get they just say good instead of going for great down yeah yeah what would you say to encourage oh I would say the same thing that that if I would say one of the the biggest enemies of great our excellence is food and we settle at the good point and we need to go from what's great and what's excellent because God has an excellent date for each other well in some of them aren't even good some of you are caught or relationships and you've been listening you've been watching and yet God speaking to your heart maybe there's some unresolved issues in your own heart things that you've never shared but you need to allow the light to be shown upon those dark places allowed healing to come and then wait for God's best simple test simple test if the man you're dating isn't surrounded by men he's not a man simple tests because men make men and when a man wants to become a man he's always surrounded by men who 5 or 10 years older than him yeah oh wow simple test interest and there's more of that on princes take longer the frogs ah but Cindy had a common you know what would you say to people out there they're watching and they're saying I do have a less problem and I really don't want this I want to be oh oh thank you Cindy thank you so much so there's a product called lust free living guys get that as three hours of amazing teaching there's a serious call clean there's amazing you can be free from this God doesn't want you stuck you can absolutely be less free and I mean it's three hours of powerful stuff I mean man there's a book called lust free where they work through it's like a hundred or 150 things to really count out lust out of your life the company can't go through the whole thing they just give us a couple little like one thing is we talked about this before you wear the rubber band if you lust after someone snaps your band so your brain says I don't want you to do that anymore sounds simple but 80 to 90 percent of lust will stop in 30 days because it's neurological training yeah and you can shut it down so there's like a whole book of Acts sizes you can do to set less down okay is something that can be killed because the scripture gives us responsibility and the Holy Spirit gives us authority yeah yes and so we're allowed to kill it yes yeah you see what I'm saying yeah so it's fun so what are a couple of the most miraculous testimonies of couples that their marriages have been saved or restored that you seen lately seen lately well you know I see well I'll do all different sides they're not having sex and they start having sex or are the couple were he was really he had an affair but he decided to heal that and move through that I see that a lot I see where guys have decided were to come honest with their wise about the porn stuff like that and they get freed and well in their hole now they're leading groups you know so I see these kind of miracles are normal in my world these are the kind of miracles Jesus does every day there's always hope it doesn't matter where the broken is because there's a cross that already paid for the broken do you know what I'm saying but sometimes there's an intelligence that needs to be applied for healing to be applied Jesus sometimes they'd go show yourself to the priest cuz appreciate to do something so that you can be brought back to society sometimes there's a process you have to go through so right before we go today what's the difference between a prince and a frog definition what is the prince when is a frog well a prince is someone who's training to become a man of God or frog is someone who's gonna probably stay in adolescent you know gonna stay a child do you have frogs that come in that are like 60 year old oh my gosh they're the worst is the worst one but they they can grow up but they have to be surrounded by men men make men it's a principle that we have lost in America what are the traits of a frog man well well he believes that your kiss is gonna cure him that's a myth that woman's gonna heal him only God heals man okay so he will blame others for things that are wrong in his life okay he won't seek help he often times will be a loner and have-not don't have male friends in his life the Word of God is not his authority he is those are some basic characteristics of a frog cuz they're not gonna mature past a certain point and the characteristics of a prince real quick prince is gonna be surrounded by many God seeks the war God obeys the Word of God will protect your purity that's important to him to see what I'm saying and he usually has accountability in this life in all different areas of his life that's right and we have all princes in the audience well we are I want to thank dr. Doug Weiss for joining us once again remember to check out his teaching when men lust after you lusted after is actually what it's called available now with other great resources at dr. Doug Weiss com is that right absolutely I said after and if you're single and dealing with heartache loneliness or maybe even lists I want you to know that God has a great plan for your life and he can help you go through what you're facing and that's why we have that toll-free number on the screen and prayer partners that are standing by ready to pray with you this is like we talked about there's just something powerful about shining the light on things in our life and allowing the Lord to come in and bring healing you can also go to day Starcom and click on prayer send us your prayer request that way and we pray over those every day also be sure to share your thoughts about today's program by leaving us a comment on Facebook or Twitter because we always love to hear what you're thinking about the program if this blessed you minister to you helped you remember to use hashtag Joni tabletalk thank you so much for watching thank you all my married ladies thank you dr. Weiss we love you we'll see you next time bye bye for today [Applause] this has been a day star television production [Music]

Channel: Dr. Doug Weiss

Views: 10,364

Rating: 4.8888888 out of 5

Keywords: lusted after, daystar, joni table talk, dr. doug weiss, doug weiss, Heart to heart counseling center, Intimacy Anorexia, sexual addiction, sex addiction, porn addiction, pornography addiction, marriage doctor, lover spouse, sexual anorexia

Id: TTKzPlD4n-A

Length: 28min 30sec (1710 seconds)

Published: Wed May 29 2019