Welcome Back, Orion! | Marjorie Taylor Greene Would Have Armed Jan 6 Rioters | Germany’s Fun Coup

welcome one and all to The Late Show I'm your host  Stephen Colbert and tonight ladies and gentlemen   I come to you I am I am over the  moon because yesterday an American   spacecraft came back from it here's what's  happening you may have read NASA is working   on something called the Artemis program  it's gonna be the first human trip to   the moon since the early 70s okay we're  getting your golf ball back Alan Shepard   all right play it where it lies and the mission  passed its first big test this past month with a   launch in the middle of the night lunar orbits  and then a safe Splashtown in the Pacific   yesterday completing its 26 day 1.4 million mile  Journey welcome back Orion good job well done been gone for a month I have so much to  tell you about White Lotus [Laughter]   even more exciting Orion's historic ocean  plop came 50 years to the day after the last   Apollo Mission Apollo 17 landed on the  lunar surface in 1972. that is amazing   the last time we flew to the moon I  looked like this all right everybody kid it's true it's true what they say  the camera really does add 50 years   the Orion capsule was in this case an  uncrewed vessel but it did contain a   mannequin named Commander Munich and Campos  and two mannequin torsos named Helga and Zohar   in space no one can hear you scream  Helga Zohar who took your leg I don't know why just torsos why would they  just send torsos the mannequin's uh job was   to test the effects of radiation on the  human body which is why Helga and Zohar   were made of materials that mimic the  soft tissue organs and bones of a woman   big day for science huge day  for the loneliest nerd at NASA   I've done extensive personal research on mimicking  The Tender Touch of an actual human woman   please meet my lovely robot companion  squeezella and I'm being escorted out okay   I've been I'll be distorted  there you go okay here we go speaking of things that should be launched into  space Georgia congresswoman Marjorie Taylor green seen here seen here pretending  the edible didn't just kick in   green uh was in the Big Apple this weekend  to speak at a meeting of the New York young   Republican Club where she was celebrated by  New York's young Republican Community Trent green got on the mic and denied that she  was involved in organizing the January 6th   Insurrection for one insane reason tell yourself  that if Steve and I had organized that we would   have won so by we she means the rioters and  would have won she means overthrown to the   government so siding with the bad guys what's  it like to watch movies with her I'm not sure   what Jurassic means but I can tell you if  Steve Bannon and I have been on that island   we would have eaten Laura Dern and Sam Neal for  sure bones and all bounce bounce bouncing off she greened on come to Washington I swear  in on January 3rd I get accused of giving   Insurrection tours which I thought was hilarious  because I couldn't even find the bathroom in the   Capitol and based on what they smeared on the  walls of the Rotunda neither could the rioters   for those of you out there who don't know what  I'm talking about what was it again Madam speaker   yes for your Decades of leadership man  when she wasn't advocating for shooting   Capitol policemen green weighed in on the  other major issue facing Americans butt   stuff by the way you can pick  up a butt plug or a dildo okay I just learned something Target sells butt plugs  now we know what their logo is supposed to be and and why why can't the people trying to overthrow our  country be more like the fun ones in Germany   because last week Deutsche police rounded up 25  far-right extremists who planned to overthrow the   German government including a self-styled prince  a retired paratrooper a Berlin judge a doctor a   cook a pilot a classical tenor I enjoy midnight  Toka some call him Maurice what food nothing okay   apparently their plan was to take control of  the world's fourth largest economy abolish its   democracy and install an obscure septuagenarian  Aristocrat as Emperor come on Germany you're a   modern country you don't want a septuagenarian  Emperor you want an octogenarian president   right right that's what we're talking  about before before you guys got here   the Aristocrat in question is 71 year old  Heinrich the 13th Prince Royce who uses the   royal title despite Germany abolishing  any formal role for royalty more than   a century ago so basically Prince Heinrich  is about as much a monarch as Queen Latifah   at least she uses her throne to fight Injustice  here on CBS The enforceinator Sundays at five CBS oh Heinrich the 13th behavior is not sitting  well with the rest of his Teutonic Clan at   least according to family spokesman Heinrich  the 14th a distant cousin who like all male   heirs to the Royce Throne is also named  Heinrich that's got to be tough at Family   reunions Heinrich Heinrich I was so sorry to  hear about Heinrich yeah I loved Heinrich but   you know who I hate Heinrich of course me too  not as much as Heinrich Here Comes Heinrich character turns out the cook insurrectionist I mentioned  earlier in the list is a famous German celebrity   chef Frank Hepner who is thought to be a member  of the Command Staff of the military arm of the   terrorist group he's the most extreme terrorist  Chef since the Food Network finally canceled   Osama bin cooking back in terrible show why  would they give him that show why on Earth   back in America the big political story this  weekend was that Kirsten Cinema announced she   is leaving the Democratic party and registering  as an independent that is shocking Kirsten Cinema   was a Democrat this announcement she was a what  this announcement came on the heels of Rafael   warnock's Victory which guaranteed the Democrats  full control of the Senate there you go so naturally sentiment decided to make  it about her she's like the person who   shows up to your wedding wearing white  or goes to your funeral in a coffin oh this old thing [Laughter] say it's uh you gotta this is huge news and would be even  bigger if it changed anything because   Cinema said she expects to keep her same  committee assignments which means she'll   caucus with the Democrats and told  arizonans nothing will change about   my values or my behavior so rest assured  she may be an independent now but still on Friday [Applause] on Friday uh our friend Jake Tapper asked  Cinema about how this doesn't affect the   balance of power in the Senate what you're doing  today doesn't change that it's still basically   going to be 51.49 well I know you have to ask  that question Jake yeah but that's kind of a   DC thing to worry about I'm not really spending  much time worrying about what the mechanics look   like for Washington DC you work in Washington D.C  that's what your constituents hired you to go do   that's like a pilot saying uh attention  passengers I know you have to ask these   questions about the left engine being on  fire but that's kind of a plain issue I'm   not spending much time worrying about the  mechanics of this plane anyway gotta go   lots of flashy lights and beep beep boop boops  happening up here hey that's a pretty Mountain back when she was a Democrat Cinema was  laser focused on her number one priority   undermining Democrats she blocked Biden's  initial build back better proposal blocked   Democratic attempts to increase taxes on  Corporate America and she torpedoed raising   federal minimum wages with a curtsy and a  thumbs down it was the most disrespectful   dismissal of the working-class Americans  since Herbert Hoover mooned Dust Bowl farmers Cinema's new party affiliation puts her  in the same camp as other Independents   who caucus with the Democrats like Angus  King and Bernie Sanders but Sanders doesn't   necessarily want her in the club he recently  referred to as a corporate Democrat it's true   she's always Shilling for corporations she's  clearly in the pocket of Spirit Halloween I'm not sure becoming an independent is going to  help Cinema in a recent poll a solid 54 percent   of Arizona Republicans 57 percent of Democrats  and 51 percent of Independents don't like her   that's everybody if only if only there were some  Universal gesture to represent how the people of   Arizona feel about Kirsten Cinema there you go  we got a great show for you tonight my guest   s and the star of Emily in Paris Lily Collins  and when we come back meanwhile join us   [Music] thank you [Music] thank you

Channel: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Views: 1,948,525

Keywords: The Late Show, Late Show, Stephen Colbert, Steven Colbert, Colbert, celebrity, celeb, celebrities, late night, talk show, comedian, comedy, CBS, joke, jokes, funny, funny video, funny videos, humor, hollywood, famous

Id: o5BDoi06j4M

Length: 11min 25sec (685 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 13 2022