Pope Francis To Meet Stephen Colbert | Is Biden’s Youth Outreach Working? | The Deal With Raw Milk

welcome one and all to The Late Show I'm your host Steven colar now folks if you're longtime viewers of the show you know I'm a Catholic which means I believe that one of the virtues is humility well tonight I've got something to be extra humble about because I can announce that this weekend Pope Francis is going to meet me at the Vatican right I mean come on I mean am I excited is the pope Catholic I'll let you know after I meet the freaking Pope [Music] hey I will be joining an incredible delegation of 105 comics and humorists from 15 countries as part of a meeting to establish a link between the Catholic church and comic artists the Pope the Vatican comedy a can't wait I hope we get to meet I hope we get to meet the original priest and Rabbi that walked into that bar find out what happened never found out what happened this invitation was extended by the Vatican decaster for culture and education and the decter for communication in my opinion the top two funniest dicasteries I know that's controversial I'm going with some of my buddies because among others the US delegation includes Jim Gaffigan Conan O'Brien T Naro whoopy Goldberg Jimmy Fallon and Chris Rock Chris Chris please for safety sake I would just keep Mary magdalene's name out of your mouth cuz the pope wears a big Ring Of course meeting the pope is a huge honor and absolutely nothing could possibly Sully the joy of this trip Italian media reports Pope Francis used a homophobic slur once again on Tuesday happy Pride why why Pope Frankie why you're the progressive Pope you've made Landmark statements in support of same-sex civil unions conducted lgbtq plus Outreach in set of gay priests who am I to judge evidently you were the pope but you're supposed to be the cool Pope the Vatican an ally you were how do I put this you were the chosen one I can't believe that I am alive for the first time anyone's everever been disappointed by the Catholic church cuz now all of a sudden Pope Francis is less Pro lgbtq than NASCAR don't believe me they sell shirts that say yes car it's not easy to be less tolerant than NASCAR you know their slogan pretty sure our fans did January 6 here's what happened oh wow I'm not saying definitely that's their motto they said that not me they said that here's what happened yesterday at a closed door Vatican meeting Francis allegedly used a highly offensive Italian term to describe gay men and to make matters worse this happened just two weeks after the Vatican issued an apology amid reports that he had used the same word in an earlier meeting with Bishops the Bishops tried to stop him but they couldn't get to him in time because they can only move diagonally poor planning that's poor planning I don't know they got a limb oh speaking of Catholics Joe Biden he's out there on the campaign Trail right now trying to appeal to older voters his campaign is staging events like bingo and pickle ball careful Joe at your age you could break a hip playing Bingo but seniors aren't the president's biggest issue which is why Hollywood vets and Biden alums have launched a super pack to shore up his youth vote problem called won't pack down okay little awkward kind of an old song reference but better than the first attempts if I could turn pack time and baby got pack won't pack Down's mission is simple they want to craft Pro Biden content for hard to- reach voters under 30 which can mean only one thing post Malone face tattoos wow the Hollywood vets hired to appeal to the youth include writers from shows like Parks and Recreation big mouth and Saturday Night Live which explains Biden's new ad America's young people are heartbroken over the humanitarian crisis in Gaza and Joe Biden knows that the only solution is [Music] cowbell I'm Joe Biden and I have sweaty balls can't believe wow can't believe we got him to record that whatever whatever Biden's doing seems to be working because now in 538 magic projection system which has never been wrong Biden has a 53% chance of win compared to Trump's 47% okay okay okay okay Biden's ahead let's just freeze him while his numbers are good and keep him that way till November what would that look like by the way the White House says he's not frozen it's just that offscreen where we can't see it there was a T-Rex and he was hiding now folks I don't want to alarm you but the American dream is dead all because Joey Chestnut has been barred from the Nathan's Fourth of July hot dog eating contest what Joey Chestnut is the 4th of July hot dog eating contest this is like what is this like how do you this is like this is like barring LeBron James from basketball or or Aaron Rodgers from podcasting Joey Chestnut is History's Greatest hot dog eater I just hope nothing bad happens to the number one Chestnut eating champion Joey hot [Laughter] dog chest chestnuts ban which has stunned the tube meat community it was it was announced yesterday by officials from Major League eating yes the mle I always dreamed of being called up to the big leagues but I got stuck in the minors at triaa Davenport dumpling munchers go dumps so why this grave Injustice well the meat lovers at Nathan's are mad because Chestnut signed an endorsement deal with plant-based company impossible foods not to be confused with our new sponsor possible Foods is it food it's possible for their part impossible Meats doesn't want to keep Joey from doing what God put him on this planet to choke down saying he is free to compete in any contest he chooses adding it's okay to experiment with a new dog meat eaters shouldn't have to be exclusive to just one wiener can someone please tell that to the pope uh a now Chestnut Chestnut issued his own response saying I was very disappointed to learn that I am banned from the Nathan's 4th of July hot dog eating contest I love competing I love celebrating America with my fans all over this great country on the 4th rest assured that you'll see me eat again soon is that a threat I'm going to come over to your house sit on the hood of your car and shovel fistfuls of wet meat into my mouth while we maintain direct eye contact but I for one as an American want to thank Mr Chestnut because like our Founders on the 4th of July he's not giving up in the face of adversity no he will mustard the courage to push on until he is the wiener this is a fight he relishes and he will not put up with this celery assault come on America pickle aside for as sure as the bun will rise tomorrow Joey's willing to die on this Grill the competition will never catch up with Joey Chestnut sir Franks For Your Service crinkle cut fries Joey will be fine Joey really thank you Joey is going to be fine but the farri might have some beef with his lack of beef because just like everything else in America meat has now become politicized as part of what some are calling the meat culture War sounds stupid but on the bright side I can't wait for all the meat war movies like apocalypse cow and full metal brisket [Laughter] this vegan meat backlash is all part of the anti-science movement that brought you vaccines are bad and small pox is back recently Cracker Barrel started offering impossible sausages which far-right commenters have been calling 5G sausages controlled by Bill Gates that disturbing theory is very popular with the meat conspiracy group barbecu on but it's not just vegetables no the far right is also rejecting pasteurization in the past few years drinking raw milk has dramatically increased in popularity among right-wing Americans and you got to imagine some of those guys are into raw dairy for the wrong reasons babe milk just tastes better without a condom oh I don't know was that worth it is that worth going back for how's it going now the CDC says the CDC says Raw milk can make you very very sick but that hasn't stopped the ultra conservative group turning points USA who is selling a shirt that says got raw milk one problem that cow has horns and no utters which means it's a bull which means that ain't milk we got a great show for you tonight my guest is Seth Meers but when we come back I answer your kid's question stick around [Applause] [Music]

Channel: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Views: 1,262,484

Keywords: The Late Show, Late Show, Stephen Colbert, Steven Colbert, Colbert, celebrity, celeb, celebrities, late night, talk show, comedian, comedy, CBS, joke, jokes, funny, funny video, funny videos, humor, hollywood, famous

Id: qBRPDMdt4Wo

Length: 11min 43sec (703 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 13 2024