Very Rare Dave Chappelle Standup Q&A and Stories | GOLDEN!

well i have some very bad news for the people in the front rows i heard that some of you paid as much as eight hundred dollars for your tickets sadly i did this same show a couple weeks ago in atlanta for 60 dollars ahead can you imagine [ __ ] you could have flown to atlanta got a hotel had some dinner and came back and you still have a little money left over [ __ ] paid way too much just to see me in this gay ass neighborhood all right let me roll up my sleeves and tell these [ __ ] jokes will told me to say there hasn't been this many [ __ ] references in this room since katz was here [Music] and when i think back at it it was probably the only time in my life that i ever thought to myself i should kill everybody at school thank you very much new york good night [Music] thank you guys very much boy i gotta tell you man i've been doing this set all week and i'll be telling these jokes and sometimes [ __ ] look like they're in actual pain over the jokes uh none of it's that bad to me but i understand why i could hurt some people's feelings so tonight [Music] tonight i'm going to give you an opportunity that i rarely give anybody i'm going to let you say whatever it is you need to say to my face or ask me whatever it is you want to know but there are no dumb questions allowed if you ask a stupid question you'll be asked to leave now i'm just kidding go ahead everyone relax come on oh yes sir in the front two questions how often do you write and can i have a secret all right first you may have a cigarette but remember this is not jail [ __ ] this lady right here i have a question uh do you remember this scene i do remember that man i'm gonna have to ask you to leave there's a terrible question [Applause] this gentleman in the front with a salmon-colored shirt on i was wondering if you had any advice for young comedians that you generally give and are you thinking of doing comedy um i've never done it before but watching you has made me want to try it [Applause] i don't know if there's an insult or not it's a it's a compliment it's it's i mean [ __ ] don't say i've never done brain surgery but it looked a lot easier than i thought i was i'm teasing all right he'll be my advice okay i don't know how comedians start nowadays right but what i would suggest is just start and and and once you start you can't really stop no matter what happens no matter how bad it gets man what people say you know what i mean because comedy is weird like that i you know i hate watching other comedians do comedy not because i hate other comedians but because i love comedy so much it's like watching somebody else [ __ ] your girl and i say i [ __ ] better than that yes you on the isle up there the lady with the long yes you standing up i see you my favorite book of all time the narrative of the life of frederick douglass that guy that guy with the baseball hat mary [ __ ] kill michelle rihanna oprah wait who's michelle oh obama well sir you're putting me in quiet the pickle i can't can't say i'll [ __ ] michelle obama it's insane well i guess like i mean i wouldn't kill any of those women but i'd [ __ ] all three of them uh the gentleman in the uh blue oxford's standing up tell us the story with charlie murphy tell a story about charlie murphy or your favorite boy it's so many good charlie murphy's you know the thing with child murphy is he usually just make us laugh all the time and i used to ask him about all the old hollywood [ __ ] i was curious about like when i used to accuse michael jackson remember i asked him once i go charlie do you think michael jackson actually did those things and he said let me ask you a question dave you say he says say it is illegal to [ __ ] women how long are you staying out of jail so god bless charlie murphy wherever you are charlie i love you who do you think is going to win the 2020 election all right i'm gonna put a pen in this but i'll tell you right now fella i don't know but i think trump has a better shot than a lot of people would like to think i'm just saying it all depends on how the left talks the way we're talking is not gonna win the [ __ ] ball game donald trump's over there on the right grabbing handfuls of [ __ ] joe biden can't even smell hair over here [ __ ] this time all right man go ahead um thank you so much for this show and how old are you 25. 25. boy don't let all kelly see you he's going to pee on you by accident oh my bad i thought she was 15. yuck i'm totally joking i'm sorry my question is um is there anything you've learned from another comedian that you feel like will stay with you for life i tell you what this that's a good question uh yes it is a short answer a longer version of it is this i was raised by comedians i started doing standard when i was 14. the other day i went to a comedian's funeral and i realized he's putting this [ __ ] in the ground that these people are at least as influential to me is my family i rock with these [ __ ] till the wheel falls off we fight when we fuss and we are jealous of each other we get mad at each other but my life wouldn't have been what it was without each and every one of them and i consider them my family that's nice my favorite club in america is a club in san francisco called the punch line it's a very small room it's 200 seat room and i was working out the material that was going to be the show tonight i still hadn't figured out exactly how to say what i wanted to say but i was doing pretty good and i was doing some me too jokes and a woman stood up from the audience and she was crying clearly this white woman [Applause] she says she says to me she says you can't say that two hundred sec it was a very small room i'm like [ __ ] are you like this were you okay with you she said you can't say that i said yes i can it's my show i'll say whatever the [ __ ] i wanted i was like ooh like this um and and then she gets up from the table and she starts making a big like show just pushing through the aisles and all this stuff and there's like a curtain right before the front door and she gets to the curtain and she's crying it's [ __ ] crazy she says i'm sorry i was raped it's a [ __ ] comedy club it's like loud farting getting out of the elevator nothing funny can happen in here now i'm trapped in a room with this woman's [ __ ] stink and i say i say miss miss it is not your fault that she were raped but it's not mine either tata [ __ ] like this she storms out now the room is very uncomfortable but i managed to get the crowd back but i'm like you know a little traumatized same show there's a trans woman sitting in the audience this is true story this is like a few weeks ago i did six shows that weekend this trans woman came to four of them calls herself daphne man this chick daphne was in there cracking the [ __ ] up at everything i said about everybody it was amazing she was laughing and it was fun to watch her laugh you could tell she was letting go with something that was heavy and she threw her head back and she smiled with all her teeth she was having a great time and the more fun she had i felt bad because i knew i had some trans jokes on local [Applause] and i thought to myself maybe i shouldn't say these jokes because i don't want to like [ __ ] her evening up she's having so much fun but then i thought to myself well if i can't say it in front of us should i say this [ __ ] at all so i let it rip to my surprise daphne laughed harder the trans jokes than anybody in the room in fact everybody in the room would look at her to make sure it was okay [Applause] and i got off stages in the dressing room i was like well it's a [ __ ] weird show i'm sitting in a dressing room by myself just trying to figure out like what what the [ __ ] just happened out there like why is it that this one woman can't take any of these jokes and daphne can take all of these jokes so weird and then i realized ah daphne used to be a man so now i go out of the dressing room and and like you can see like all the the staff is there like cleaning the club up the audience had gone and sitting at the bar by herself was daphne and she's like hey dave come join me for a drink and i don't want to think that i'm transphobic or nothing something like [ __ ] i i guess i could have at least drink and we get some tequila and we're sitting there and and she was [ __ ] cool turns out the daphne she wants to be a comedian she was asking me for advice and i told her advice and all that [ __ ] and then she says to me she says boy you sure do get a bad rap for your trans jokes i said daphne thank you but you don't have to say that i hope i didn't offend you she goes no no no no she said in fact i read about you in the new york times i said you did she said yeah she said i thought it was interesting that they blamed you for r kelly they said you normalized them for telling jokes about them i go yeah yeah they said that she goes i wonder why they never said that she normalized transgenders by telling jokes about us and i never thought about that it never occurred to me and we started making out and then like i i reached up just to see what it felt like i was like oh what is what and it felt like [ __ ] dude that was just like [Applause] go ahead go ask me a question [Music] uh what am i gonna do if trump gets reelected probably get a significant tax break hey you want to know why i don't even talk about trump in my show because that [ __ ] is not the hokey poker he is not what it's all about there's millions of people that put him in power and the ideas that he puts forth uh are not his own he's singing poor white people's greatest hits so why the [ __ ] will i worry about him and now the other millions really you know who i'm gonna vote for next time if things keep going the way it's going is that gay dude no mike pence [Applause] now this is the same club the punchline it's 15 years ago and i had just gotten back from from my infamous uh south africa trip and i came to the punch line just cheering myself up it's a safe place where i could tell some jokes and i find out that this comedian i know chris tucker who's in all those rush hour movies i find out that chris is in san francisco too with some charity event so i call him like yo i just saw you at some charity event i said i'm doing a show at the punchline why don't you come by the club after your event he's like cool dave i thought she was dead [ __ ] i'll come by he said he says is it okay if i bring some friends cause you know with a lot of people like man chris tucker you can bring whatever the [ __ ] you want and then i show up to the club late that night and walk into the dressing room and sit in the dressing room is uh gavin newsom who at the time was the mayor of san francisco but now he's the governor of california and sitting next to him was kamala harris who at the time was the d.a of san francisco now she's the senator from california that's front running on the democratic ticket and sit next to her was al gore it's [ __ ] weird sitting next to al gore was the guys from google sergey and i don't know how to say these all right and it was chris tucker and and ben jealous who at the time was the president of the naacp who was all just at this big charity dinner and and and paul moody was drinking scotch and we all was just in there and you know first i was a little uncomfortable we started talking and we all got along really well at some point uh kamala harris says she says to me she goes you know a friend of mine is announcing his candidacy for president tomorrow i went to college with them i'm like what i go barack obama she goes you've heard of him like yo i just read about this dude and she goes yo yeah we talking she goes you know what she says let's let's call him on the phone i said what the [ __ ] and she picks the phone up and she downs and she's listening like this and she goes ah this is voicemail and she gives me phone she goes leave me a message you know i didn't know what to say i just said what you say to any black dude is running for president you know stay low running his exact pattern this kind of [ __ ] and then the last thing i say is you know what i said sir i really do believe you can do this like man i'm wishing you luck now next day i wake up and go for coffee at a place called the embarcadero it's like an eatery by the sea in san francisco and i'm walking to the coffee shop and there's a police line and i can't cross the tape but then i i have [ __ ] i'm dave chappelle so i go into the thing like this and the police yoke me these [ __ ] like tackle me immediately and i see over the police shoulder gavin newsom i couldn't remember his name but i remember last the night before i had kept teasing him and saying he looked like christian bale the guy from the batman movies uh so i see him and i can't remember anything so much like batman help and he stops he's like dave and and and then the police see that the mayor knows me so they're all like oh oh sorry about that goodbye and he's like back up everybody and he just picks me up he's like i'm really sorry about that i'm like i'm fine don't worry about it and he's like he's like listen i'm here with the prince would you like to meet him i'm like i know prince that's my [ __ ] and we go around the corner and it was prince charles the prince of england i didn't know the protocol of meeting royalty you're not supposed to touch them i dapped them up like a [ __ ] mine they go hugging them and [ __ ] like this dapping them up and that [ __ ] was cool too that's really [ __ ] weird and then i was just out there in the upside down not having no tv show trying to figure life out and the election was going on in the background and this guy barack obama was picking up steam this [ __ ] was killing it and i had a chance to go to the last debate on the democratic ticket and i went it's me and chris tucker sitting in myrtle beach south carolina it's the last three candidates it was barack obama john edwards and hillary clinton now obama is a lot taller than edwards and clinton and he had the center podium and at one point they're all on stage and they start fussing and obama goes look none of us are perfect like this his hands was like this and there was light shining behind his head and the other two candidates was looking up his [ __ ] and i would sit in the audience like this [ __ ] looks like jesus [Applause] and i realized in that moment that i was looking at the next president of the united states i was certain of it i couldn't explain it but i knew what i was seeing and i got really excited and i'm not that kind of guy i said i gotta meet this [ __ ] so i stayed they were all on stage doing interviews and i just waited i was waiting and waiting and then uh john edwards was done with his interviews first because everybody knew he wasn't going to win uh and i see john edwards and i said hey hey senator edwards i just want to say hi and that [ __ ] look like anyway and then he left and then hillary clinton just walked by me when the steve harvey suits but obama was taking forever everybody wanted to talk to him when i knew the media saw exactly what i saw there was no question about it dad was the guy i waited and i waited and finally must have been over an hour and a half he finishes his last interview he was like thank you very much good talking to you and he turns around and he's we make eye contact he sees me and when he sees me he looks up he goes dave chappelle and and obama did me the same way i did prince charles he like bro hugged me and he pulled me in and i'll never forget this he said in my ear i got your message thank you very much

Channel: Daily Dose Comedy

Views: 5,063,205

Keywords:

Id: EsOrjnTEuZg

Length: 20min 56sec (1256 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 02 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/luckylefty06]

pretty cool that Dave had one trans person who was cool with his jokes so every other trans persons take doesn’t matter. kinda like the white dude who has a black friend that excuses his racist behavior so it’s ok, right? FOH

[u/RiftedEnergy]

Right about 9 min mark is the Daphne Story.

"I don't want her to think I'm transphobic or nothing so I can have at least a drink"

"I hope I didn't offend you"

-Dave Chappelle quotes

"They blamed you for R Kelly.. they said you normalized it from all the jokes you made. I wondered why they never said you normalized transgendered by telling jokes about us"

-Daphne Dorman quotes

[u/CameronRoss101]

the issue the critics mostly have is that many of the jokes were based on inaccurate, or misrepresented information. Before when he joked on a culture it would shock, but it would be rooted in truth. His jokes on the trans community mix truth with falsehood, without any regard to distinguishing between the two.

[u/hbktommy4031]

when you say things like "I'm team TERF" the context doesn't matter.

[u/jrsherrod]

I'm still waiting for the rare footage that shows an actual joke from that special, which contains zero jokes.