Rishikesh
India Use Mind Attacks to Wake Up 21 February 2020 / Satsang Excerpt
(with subtitles) [Questioner] Hi Mooji.
[Mooji] Hi. [Q.] I'm not good in English.
[M.] What language do you speak? [Q.] Italian, but I have the question in English.
[Mooji] OK. OK. [Mooji] Can you hear from ... [Q.] I quite understand you in English.
[Mooj] Ah, OK. [Q.] I started watching your videos
four years ago. Last year in Rishikesh
was my first season of satsang. I asked a question about the second bird position and a hypothetical third bird. When you answered, I couldn't listen, my mind was only chattering,
'Blah, blah, blah'. I felt like you were making fun of me. I was extremely angry,
even if I was smiling on the outside. I promised myself
not to come to satsang any more. [laughter] [Q.] I felt like hate towards you. [Q.] But then, the next day I came all the same, and slowly during the satsang I started to feel a deeper inner opening
and love towards you. [Mooji] Yes. In the afternoon,
during the Sahaja Express video, you were with an Indian family and you were talking to the father. Watching him really understand your pointings, I also had a click inside, a flash. I saw clearly that
everything appears in emptiness. Even the idea I always had of 'me'
was an illusion. [Mooji] Aah.
[Q.] That the ego in reality doesn't exist, it's only a cluster of thoughts and beliefs appearing in a substratum of emptiness. I exploded in immense joy and relief,
as never felt before. The sensation I had was as if a million thoughts were erupting out of my head, like a volcano. There was no identity to attach to them and they easily disappeared. I looked at my hands
and I felt like no one was living in this body. I spent a few days in this wonderful joy, and even at night I didn't sleep. There was an energy and happiness
inside the body, for no reason. But then slowly, the mind began to doubt, 'I got it. I lost it.' And the experience of before
was no longer alive. There were thoughts like, 'I did it', or,
'The other people haven't understood yet'. Back home I started sabotaging myself, resuming my habits, my vices, perhaps also because of my family and friends, but the joy was fading more and more. I was starting to have a fear of emptiness, to become nobody, to be judged. So I started to escape from the inner silence, engaging in a lot of activity and work using the mind as much as I could. Also, if I was very stressed from not taking rest, I used to repeat to myself, 'Don't worry. Now that you have recognised that
you are the ultimate nature, you don't need to stay in your inner silence.' [Q.] I continue now what happened to me. I continue to mentally recognise that everything appears in the empty space, before all ideas of 'me'. But this time, here, I feel that in the Is-ness,
mostly sorrow and fear appear. I feel strong identification energy
in the body and mind. So my question is,
why does this negative energy persist? [Mooji] Very good. A very good report. And I hope everyone gave space to listen to this. Because what is being shared here
is a universal controversy, that happens inside the mind, actually. And I see, year after year,
I am sitting with beings from all over the world,
who are drawn to this understanding. I said a few days ago that sometimes it surprises me, why so many? Because in older times
not so many people would find this knowledge. It was very difficult to find someone, or even if you found them, to be accepted to be a student for this knowledge! Because it really challenges
the very root of the ego itself, and many people cannot bear it. But on the other side,
it leads to the timeless reality. In some paths the ego is allowed
to participate in the search, and he gets something from the search. 'Yes. I'm doing well. I'm getting better. Now I can meditate
for six hours without stopping. I'm having intuition.
Whatever I dream comes true.' And the ego will still be there. In this path,
from the beginning it is questioned, 'Who is this one even,
who is beginning on the journey?' And some discomfort comes. Still I wondered why so many people come. Then I said, Maybe it's the internet.
The internet, yes. So many people can just go
and search 'enlightenment', and people come up,
so many teachers also speak about it. So the initial interest is big! But who will finish where they started? Because when you go, you start like this. And you begin to discover also that
there are different levels where the 'I' has existed in some shadow. And in this path it is all coming up. It's coming up like some kind of detox. Whatever it is that is not in service
to the fullness of your truth, will begin to get exposed;
it is like it cannot hide. It is like thieves in a glass house. These things are coming up
and there is this discomfort, because we have
a long standing relationship with personality. And we even believe and refer to ourselves
as this personality. And then the personality,
which is strongly shaped out of mind, and thought and habit, starts to behave now
like it is a separate entity from yourself, which is going to punish you, 'How dare you? You want to be free from me? Ha!
Let's see!' It is like this for some people. Sometimes it doesn't take that look. Depending on your nature and temperament, doubts will come,
or negative sensations and feelings come. And you will forget that
you are able to observe these, and from the place of observing
there is nothing, there is no content,
there is no history, there is no person. You can see the waves of resistance,
doubts and negativity coming up. But you can hold your ground
as the undivided seer of them. And they pass, as all things do. Time passes, relationships, all different things are subject to change. You are just observing this. And yet it is as though
a tremendous power and force is coming to sabotage and to sink the ship of freedom. It is like this. But all this is a dream!
But you don't know that it is a dream. In the moment it feels like, 'Oh! Why is it so difficult? I can't do it. And my mind is even more bad than before! Before it was a nuisance.
Now it is a terrorist! Oh! Tsunami-mind is there.' But you are able to transcend all of that. So, I listened to your letter.
All the things you say, they are so true
in the experience of trascendence. You, at least at first,
you spoke very much like I told you, what happened when I came before Papaji. You come. You have some ego left,
but you think you don't. You come before the Master
and the ego wants to hear, 'Aha! You have come! You have come!
I have been waiting for you, my son! Look!' And then the Master chops you, 'Chop, chop'.
[laughter] And then, 'Aargh!'
And this love attraction turns to hatred. 'Yes, he is not a true Master,
he didn't notice me.' All this kind of stuff is going to come.
Can you bear this? It is going to come. This is the price of freedom, that all the stuff that we have absorbed, impressions which are not true, that we were not able to discern
if they were true or not ... They were imbibed inside our being and now, by grace, you have come to a place to awaken to the fullness of yourself. And these energies, they come. And they will come,
they will come, for a while. They will make their biggest fight. But what is in you as Truth
is infinitely greater than all of these things. But because you don't know it, and because we tend
to identify with the lower self, with the person and so on, we are more inclined to believe the sensations,
the emotions, the feelings,
the thoughts that come up in that moment. It is as though we are hypnotized
by the mind force. All that is happening to you
are the signs, in a way, that you are under grace,
that grace itself is with you. Because this thing, you will transcend. Maybe if you had not chosen this path, or you were not brought ...
I say, Chosen, chosen-brought, somehow you may have the smoothest journey. You don't have to be shaken up, because you are co-operating
and you are still feeling, 'Ah! I'm going somewhere',
but you are still retaining ego, you are still retaining the ego identity. And nobody is pointing it out.
But here it is being pointed out. So, it feels under threat.
It feels like, 'Oh, I am dying!' Many people in satsang ...
If you go to an appointment at the doctor, the doctor's is full of satsang people thinking
that they are dying. 'I feel this thing, I am dying'. The doctor checks, 'Nothing is wrong with you!' But the thought is taking the form of death,
'I am dying'. Something is dying. Death is dying!
The lie is dying. But in that moment it feels like, 'I am lost. I don't know.
I don't know where I am.' And so on. I am telling you ahead of time, so that when these things, if they do come, they don't come for everyone in the same way,
that you will remember ... And 'The Invitation' is such a powerful tool and friend of grace to remind you! This is why I say that it is so important now, because you are awakening
to the truth of what you are, without doing so much spiritual gymnastics and torturing yourself,
and all this kind of stuff. Every path has its benefit.
Everything is contributing. If you are sincere, even if you went on a path that is not ultimately so great, you may have to taste that,
and gradually it will find ... Grace will guide you to the right place.
But you have come here! And you are experiencing, in fact,
a backlash from the mind's stuff. It has to happen! Everyone who awakens to the Truth,
experiences this. You may think that it is only you, but they experience this resistance, doubt, fear,
judgement and hatred. [Q.] It's in the body sometimes.
[M.] Yes! It's very much in the body! [M.] It'll be present and it will feel like
this is the evidence of truth! 'Look! I can feel it. I'm sweating.
I feel like I'm going to die.' All this stuff,
the mind can take that shape also. And I want to say, actually, gradually as you mature more deeply
into Self-recognition, you will start to accept these seeming 'attacks' as opportunities to transcend. When you have identity,
you feel like you are on your own, you are being beaten, 'Why did I do this?' 'It's not my path.' And so on. One sister came the other day
and she said that after a while her mind came, and she decided, 'Listen, I'm not going to follow him anymore. I'm done with him. I don't even like him.' It will come like that! But what happens is that something is there. Why did you come back the next day? Was it the next day you came back
after this thing came up? [Q.] Yes
[M.] You had an opening. You see, 'Whoa! But all these are just movements
appearing like clouds in the sky. They are coming,
because you are now identified in your sky-being. So you could bear the clouds passing, even lighting and thunder clouds are passing,
everything is passing. But you had found a place that wasn't passing and wasn't affected by the traffic of the mind
and the emotions. You saw this. But suddenly or unexpectedly,
'Vroom!' something comes. And doubts come. All these things come. Still you did not run away! You came back. You listened again, and what happened? Gradually things began to ... The Truth becomes more clear again for you. [Mooji] Is it like that?
[Q] Yes. In these days, yes. [Q.] Because when I am at home,
sometimes it is very difficult, it is very strong. [Q.] But here it is like a reconfirmation.
[Mooji] Yes. [Q.] Also, if there is a lot of fear, sometimes there is a lot of relief also. [Mooji] Yes. You will experience these waves. Sometimes you are in full grace, 'Oh! So much joy and peace. Ah! So beautiful!' Another moment comes [anxious breathing]. You are having some kind of anxiety, some fear, some doubts are coming. I see you looking at me like, 'Grrrrr'. I see all these things.
And watching all this stuff coming and going ... Then a refocusing happens,
and you see, 'But it is nothing! It is just the mind. It is just the mind.' And another moment, these waves come. But gradually, something behind is with you. A silence is becoming much more prevalent in you. You stay with it. You stay with it. I said at the beginning that
I have seen so many people come. And many of them, they don't come back. You have found the most important discovery
in the human kingdom. You have found that
which has transcended the world. It doesn't even transcend anything. It is beyond. You have found that. But you also have a dynamic sense of self, you have family, relationships,
you have a job and things to do. Are you to abandon all this?
No! No. But they will come into your satsang. And they will be guided
from your centre like that. Don't try to work out anything in your head. Everything will unfold
naturally and spontaneously. You continue to trust and look,
and sit inside your silence. Keep confirming. Gradually you are getting stronger and stronger,
emptier and emptier. Even if the mind came like a tsunami,
it won't overcome you. You will come to see that whatever is happening in the mind
is not a judgement against this. It was only ...
These psychological attacks from the mind are not against your pure Self, but against the idea you have of who you are. So one comes to see this and say, 'In fact, it is actually good. Because, at least
it is attacking the idea I have of myself, so that I can see where
I am still holding onto lies, and untruths.' You make use of them. I say, The wise person
makes a house out of the stones his enemies throw at him. Your views are going to keep changing,
getting higher and higher. In the end you will have no enemies! You will have no enemies at all. You'll see everything has been contributing
to your awakening. But when you are in a lower state of consciousness, when you are deeply identified with personhood, you'll have bullets coming from everywhere,
'Aargh! This is happening ...' But as you mature and transcend, and the power of discernment
becomes much more acute, these energies will subside in their strength. And you will feel that
the joy now just begins to come, peace is there, silence is there,
wisdom is with you, like that. So today, as you stand now,
say something now, from now. [Q.] I was arriving here like that.
[Mooji] Shaking? Yes. [Q.] And now there's more peace. [M.] Yes. There will come a time that
even if this body went into spasms, it will be spasms appearing in your stillness. There is a stillness.
Are you aware of this stillness? [Q.] Yes.
[Voices in audience] Yes. [Mooji] That even something just somehow surrenders your existence to Existence. Everything is unfolding,
but you are not unfolding. You are like the lights, the conscious awareness in which all this is appearing,
dancing and disappearing, but you are the constant, in fact. And yet none of them can be,
without you, the perceiver of them. You won't be troubled by them. But it takes time.
I encourage, don't give up. Maybe half of you, if not more,
will turn away at some point, and think, 'I can't. My mind is beating me. My mind is punishing me.'
It's punishing who? It is punishing your ego,
the idea you have of yourself. not your true Self. Your true Self cannot be punished
by anything at all! But while we have identity, you will feel that,
'Yes. These things are coming. I'm going forward.
I'm trying to find the Truth. Something is trying to stop me finding the Truth! It must be something bad!'
Only later you may think, 'I said I was searching for Truth, but actually I had other agendas,
and it was being exposed, and something couldn't bear it;
my mind'. It is the mind that is complaining. The lower sense of self is complaining. It has a lot of fantasies, and now these fantasies are thinning away. Then it feels very, very disturbed by that. Some people have told me, like this,
[taps heart] 'It has to end here, Mooji'.
Yes. Yes. 'I don't want to take another body
to continue this story. Whatever the mind is going to bring,
let it bring it. But I have to be free.' Don't keep your mind. Don't protect that which is holding you hostage, in such a lowly state. Why is mind behaving like this? If you want to go and gamble,
he is not going to trouble you. If you want to go and cause some mischief, he is going to encourage you, 'Go, go, go!' But if you want to be free, 'No, no, no!'
[laughter] [Mooji] Trouble? 'Go, go, go.' Freedom? 'No, no, no.'
[laughter] It has to be in you, the urge,
or, at least, the taste. You have tasted that something exists beyond your present way of seeing things,
that is above all things. That is the gift of 'The Invitation',
to help you to see, to come to that realisation, 'Whoa, whoa!' 'This has happened.'
Did you create it? Did you make it up? 'No! I wasn't even expecting it.
And now I see!' The true seeker, the earnest seeker, says, 'No! I have seen.' Or even, 'I glimpsed it. And this glimpse, I cannot let go of now. I have to complete it, all the way.' But if you expect, 'Oh, why am I having these troubles?
I don't like it anymore.' All of this, this drama is intensified
in these non-dual satsangs. If you were on a journey
that was going to include the ego, and the ego could feel nice, very nice,
but still be the ego, you probably would not come under this attack, because the ego is on the ride as well. But if the ego,
which is something you must transcend, is being exposed too early,
then, yes, you will have this type of thing. But I will tell you, many are they who transcend. Many are they who transcend. This battle, for a while it is strong,
and then you are out. You are free from him. [Mooji] Are you one of them?
[Voices in audience] Yes! This is what I have come to find out. And it's not all fight, fight, fight. If you remember, and as you see, 'The fight only happens
when I am identified with my mind'. You even say, 'The mind is not happy about it'. If you knew the difference between your mind
and your Self, it wouldn't matter so much. But it matters to us what our mind has to say, because the mind is taken to be so intimate,
so necessary. I'm not talking of the mind in its widest aspect, I'm talking about the mind
in its psychological play. The mind that is caught up with identity,
this one is going to be strong. But the mind also is the Self,
it is an aspect of the Self also. When you wake up to the truth of yourself, he cannot fight you, he will join you,
and come into silence also. It's the end of the monkey business. [M.] Is it important to you all
what is being heard now? [Voices in audience] Yes. [Mooji] Because this will stand you in good stead in that time when the darkness comes,
the darker energies. Where do they come from?
You must defeat them. In the story of Christ also, it says that, after his baptism
he was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, not into the city,
into the wilderness to be alone. And he is in the wilderness, and it says that Satan came to test him in the wilderness. Why in the wilderness? Does Satan live in the wilderness, waiting? No. What happened?
Where did he come from? From within your own potential, it comes, in order to get acted out in a real scenario. So that you can have the chance to say, 'No',
and to transcend it. Even in 'The Invitation',
when we are sharing 'The Invitation', I ask you some questions,
and I say, Please, answer them. It means that you stand up for yourself,
not just sit there looking. You confirm,
'Yes. It cannot end. It cannot fade.' You say it! It has a power! It cannot fade. It's like this. Now you are in an environment
in the energy field of satsang, amongst the sangha, where the energies are supporting
collectively for freedom. Everyone here who is in search for freedom
is also emanating energy to help others to reach that place. Rare it is. Rare it seems that a human being, although you cannot not be that Truth, rare it comes that
we awaken to that within ourselves. What keep us asleep to it? That also is being exposed
for your own seeing to confirm, 'Yes, yes'. This thing seems strong now, then it is gone.
Something strong is gone. What sees strong and weak coming and going, but itself is not coming and going?
Pay some attention to that. Because, largely,
we are suffering from distraction. Distraction means distracted from your own Self.
That is it. This is why I'm so happy to hear this from you, what has been experienced, how it goes, so others can relate to that. You have a peak experience,
it seems for the moment, and then, suddenly, lots of doubts come. This is quite typical, a lot of doubts come, and you say, 'No, no. I don't know. I don't know what to do. I mustn't go back.'
And so on like that. And some people, they leave. Then they come back at another time,
'No, I am not giving up. Something keeps calling me back to this place.' They come again and some opening comes. And you move like this. You can't come
and purchase freedom over the counter, like you go to a shop. It must be that, that urge continues to deepen, widen, strengthen, heighten in you. It is growing. It is a growth.
Yes. Thank you. [Q.] Thank you.
[Mooji] Thank you, thank you, thank you. Copyright © 2020 Mooji Media Ltd.
All rights Reserved. No part of this recording may be reproduced without Mooji Media Ltd.'s express consent.
