♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY. JOINING ME NOW IS AN ACTOR YOU
KNOW BEST FROM "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT," "THE LEGO MOVIES,"
AND THE PODCAST, SMARTLESS. HE ALSO HOSTS LEGO MASTERS,
WHICH STARTS ITS SECOND SEASON ON JUNE 1. PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW,"
WILL ARNETT. HEY, WILL ARNETT. >> HI, THERE, STEFAN COLBERT. THAT'S WHAT THEY WOULD CALL YOU
IN QUEBEC. >> Stephen: WOULD THEY? >> YEAH. >> Stephen: ARE YOU FROM
QUEBEC? >> FIRST OF ALL, NO. >> Stephen: WOW. I GOT NOTHING AGAINST THEM. WHAT'S WRONG-- WHAT'S WRONG
WITH-- >> NOTHING, I DON'T KNOW WHY I
HAD THAT REACTION. >> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO EDIT THAT PART OUT OF THE INTERVIEW SO YOU DON'T ALIENATE
THAT MARKETPLACE? >> NO
( LAUGHING ). >> Stephen: LET IT RIDE. >> I LOVE QUEBEC. I HAVE ACTUALLY SPENT A LOT OF
TIME IN QUEBEC. I LIVED THERE BRIEFLY. >> Stephen: IT'S THE PEOPLE
FROM THE MARITIMES YOU HATE, RIGHT? THE NEWFIES. >> NEW BRUNSWICK. AND IF YOU BRING UP P.E.I.--
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE LONG SAID, "JUST SCRAB IT INTO THE
NORTH ATLANTIC. I DO NOT CARE." >> CUT IT LOOSE. THEY'RE JUST ATTACHED BY THAT
BRIDGE. CUT THE BRIDGE OFF AND LET THEM
GO AWAY. >> Stephen: I HAVE TO TALK TO
YOU ABOUT SMARTLESS. I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE
PODCAST. DUN IT WAS GOING TO BE AS
SUCCESSFUL AS IT IS? DID YOU HAVE ANY SENSE? IT'S FREQUENTLY ONE OF THE TOP
STREAMING PODCASTS EVERY WEEK. WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU HAD A HIT
ON YOUR HANDS? >> WELL, FIRST OF ALL, LOOK AT
ME. DO I LOOK LIKE I KNEW IT WAS
GOING TO BE A SUCCESS? I DO LOOK LIKE I KNOW ANYTHING? >> Stephen: WELL, YOU'VE MOVED
IN TO A RECORDING BOOTH, EVIDENTLY. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE
INTERVIEWED SOMEONE OVER A YEAR AND TWO MONTHS WHO ISN'T IN
FRONT OF A BOOKSHELF OR SOMETHING. >> AM I THE FIRST PERSON YOU'VE
INTERVIEWED WHO HAS BEEN IN A RECORDING BOOTH? >> Stephen: I THINK SO. I DON'T REMEMBER ANOTHER PERSON. >> THIS IS-- YEAH, THIS IS MY
HOME-- IT'S LIKE LIVING -- >> Stephen: TERRY GROSS WASN'T
IN A RECORDING STUDIO. TERRY GROSS IS LESS PROFESSIONAL
THAN YOU LOOK RIGHT NOW. >> FIRST OF ALL, I LIKE THAT--
THIS IS WHAT A BAD SET WILL BE FOR REST OF MY LIFE, THAT I'M
MORE PROFESSIONAL THAN TERRY GROSS. >> Stephen: MORE PROFESSIONAL
LOOKING. >> SORRY, LOOK, YEAH. >> Stephen: TELL THE PEOPLE
OUT THERE WHO IS SMARTLESS. THEY MAY NOT KNOW WHO THE
PLAYERS IN THIS CAVALCADE. >> YOU HAVE JASON BATEMAN. >> Stephen: AMERICA'S
SWEETHEART. >> HE IS AMERICA'S SWEETHEART
AND HAS BEEN FOR A LONG TIME. >> Stephen: SURE. >> SEAN HAYES, WHO IS ALSO
AMERICA'S SWEETHEART. >> Stephen: I WAS GOING TO SAY
THE THING, ALSO AMERICA'S SWEETHEART. THEY MIGHT HAVE TO FIGHT TO
SETTLE WHO IS AMERICA'S SWEETHEART. >> WHO IS AMERICA'S SWEETHEART,
AND ME, WHO IS CANADA'S REJECT. SO THE THREE OF US HOST A SHOW. WE KIND-- BOY, I TELL YOU, THIS
THING TOOK OFF, AND WE DIDN'T MEAN IT TO. WE JUST STARTED RECORDING
EPISODE, AND WHAT THE HECK. >> Stephen: YOU'VE SAID ON THE
PODCAST THAT EVERYONE IN SHOW BUSINESS HAS A TERRIBLE AUDITION
STORY. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: BUT I HAVE NOT
HEARD YOUR TERRIBLE AUDITION STORY. CAN YOU PONY-- CAN YOU ANTE UP? >> YEARS AGO, I AUDITIONED-- I
HAD TO GO AUDITION FOR EYE HAD A CALL-BACK AUDITION FOR THIS
KEVIN COSTNER VEHICLE. IT WAS A PICTURE CALLED "THE
POSTMAN." SORRY, I SPEAK IN OLD-TIME
HOLLYWOOD VERNACULAR. IT WAS A TREMENDOUS PICTURE, AND
I GET A CALL-- I GET A CALL-BACK. I HAVE TO GO SHOW UP AND MEET
WITH HIM. THE NIGHT BEFORE I GO FOR SUSHI,
AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT I WAKE UP IN THE NIGHT AND I AM
THROWING AND GOING. SO I GO --
>> Stephen: EVERYTHING, ALL THE TAPS ARE OPEN. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
WHOEVER IS PLAYING THE ORGAN HAS PULLED OPEN ALL THE STOPS. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
HALLELUJAH CHORUS. GO AHEAD. >> ABSOLUTELY TRUE. SO I HOP IN A CAB AND GO TO ONE
OF THOSE FANCY EASTSIDE HOSPITALS OVER THERE ON HOSPITAL
ROW. BY THE WAY, IT'S NICE HOW CITIES
HAVE HOSPITAL ROWS. WOULDN'T YOU SPREAD THEM OUT? WHY DO YOU PUT THEM ALL IN THE
SAME SPOT? HOW STUPID IS THAT? ANYWAY, I HAVE SUCH A BEEF WITH
THE NEW YORK HOSPITAL COMMITTEE. I GO THERE-- I WAKE UP THE NEXT
DAY. AND THEY HAD TO GIVE ME AN I.V. DRIP. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY I REMEMBER
THIS DETAIL. IT WAS 90 DEGREES OUT, NEW YORK,
HOT AND SWEATY. I WORE JEANS-- BECAUSE I THOUGHT
I WOULD BE COMFORTABLE-- I WORE A REALLY RATTY-LOOKING HAWAIIAN
SHIRT, AND I GOTTA GO MEET WITH KEVIN COSTNER IN HIS HOTEL SUITE
AT THE ESSEX HOUSE OR ONE OF THOSE FANCY CENTRAL PARK HOTELS. I GO I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO
KEEP THIS TOGETHER AND I NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE BATHROOM IS AT
ALL TIMES. BECAUSE THIS IS-- THIS IS ABOUT
TO GET-- I COME IN THERE. I HAVEN'T SLEPT. I LOOK LUKE SOME KIND OF ZOMBIE
JUNKY OR SOMETHING. AND I COM IN THERE, "NICE TO
MEET YOU." AND I JUST THINK WE'RE GOING TO
TALK. AND HE SAID, "GREAT, LET'S DO
THE SCENE." AND I THOUGHT HERE WE GO. AND I STAND UP AND I THINK,
DON'T-- PLEASE DON'T CRAP YOUR PANTS IN FRONT OF KEVIN COSTNER. PLEASE DON'T. SO I DO-- I DO THE SCENE. AND I-- I MADE IT THROUGH. I HELD ON. AND THEN I HAD TO GO DOWNSTAIRS
EYE GOT IN THE ELEVATOR "NICE TO MEET YOU." I WENT DOWN AND WENT TO THE
BATHROOM IN THE LOBBY. BIT REMEMBER THINK AGO. >> Stephen: IN A BATHROOM IN
THE LOBBY, NOT IN THE LOBBY. >> RIGHT BY REGISTRATION. I THOUGHT, "YOU'LL NEVER HEAR
ABOUT THAT." >> Stephen: A REALLY GOOD
HOTEL DOESN'T MIND. >> BY THE WAY, A GREAT HOTEL--
YOU KNOW-- THE HOTELS. THAT'S THE ULTIMATE SPOT IF YOU
NEED TO-- WHEREVER-- AND NOT TO BE TOO INDELICATE, BUT IN A
PINCH, A HOTEL IS GREAT. >> Stephen: SURE. THAT'S WHAT THE-- THAT'S THE
CONCIERGE-- THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS THE CONCIERGE DOES FOR
YOU. <i> ( LAUGHTER ).</i> >> I MIGHT DO AN APP. I'M THINKING OF DOING AN APP OF
THE BEST HOTEL BATHROOMS. AND YOU PULL IT UP. "I'M IN 500 TREAT OF A REALLY
GREAT FLOOR-TO-CEILING, DOOR-CLOSING STALL GLI KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. YOU COULD NOT SLIP A CARD
UNDERNEATH THE DOOR. IT'S FANTASTIC. >> NOW, YOU'RE IN... >> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH
( LAUGHING ) >> ANYWAY, I DIDN'T GET THE
MOVIE -- >> Stephen: SECOND QUESTION. WE'RE ON THE SECOND QUESTION AT
THIS POINT. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
YOU WERE NOT IN "THE POSTMAN." I HAVE NOT SEEN IT LATELY. I WASN'T SURE. >> BECAUSE OF THAT, STEPHEN,
BECAUSE OF THAT, I DECIDED TO HOST "LEGO MASTERS," A
TREMENDOUS BUILDING SHOW ABOUT PEOPLE BUILDING-- I JUST WANTED
YOU TO SKIP -- >> Stephen: I'M-- WE'RE
SKIPPING EVERYTHING ELSE. THERE YOU GO. NOW, I'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT THIS
LEGO MASTERS THING YOU'RE DOING, BECAUSE YOU'RE LEGO BATMAN,
WHICH EVERYBODY KNOWS. UPPER ACTUALLY ONCE ACTUAL
BATMAN. 32 YOU-- WHAT IS THIS AT THE--
WHAT IS THIS THE EMMYS, THE OSCARS? >> THAT'S THE OSCARS, THE
ACADEMY AWARDS. >> Stephen: SORRY, THE ACADEMY
AWARDS. I REALIZE YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO
CALL THEM "THE OSCARS." >> WE DON'T LIKE IT. >> Stephen: "WE?"
ARE YOU A MEMBER OF THE ACADEMY? >> I DON'T KNOW. IS ANYBODY A MEMBER OF ANYTHING. THE POINT IS THAT, YOU KNOW,
THAT I WAS THERE AT THE ACADEMY AWARDS ON STAGE, AND, ACTUALLY,
I WAS ABOUT TO GO ON STAGE. I WAS BACKSTAGE-- BACKSTAGE AT
THE ACADEMY AWARDS IS JUST LOOK A TRAFFIC JAM OF, LIKE, THE
CRAZIEST CELEBRITIES. >> Stephen: SURE
>> AND IT'S LIKE BRAD PITT AND CHAKA KHAN. AND IT'S JUST-- IT'S SO MENTAL,
RIGHT. >> Stephen: I DIDN'T KNOW BRAD
PITT AND CHAKA KHAN WERE DATING. REALLY? >> THEY WERE-- THEY WERE GOING
TO DO A PICTURE FOR M.G.M., AT ONE POINT. SO, ANYWAY, I'M IN THERE, AND
I'M WEARING THE FULL SUIT. AND FRENCH FILM STAR-- FRENCH
FILM DYNAMO MARANNE COUTIERRE, AND IN ME EAR SHE SAYS, "DIDN'T
I KILL YOU?" >> Stephen: WOW, THAT'S SEXY. >> VERY CHILLING. >> Stephen: YEAH ALSO KIND OF
INDICATIVE THAT SHE NEVER SAW THE END OF "THE DARK KNIGHT
RISES." I DID MY SCENE. I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS AFTER
THIS. YOU'RE SO CLOSELY ASSOCIATED
WITH LEGO AT THIS POINT, LAST YEAR YOU ENDED UP HOSTING AND
PRODUCING-- BECAUSE THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT BECAUSE DADDY GETS HIS
BEAK WET-- A NEW REALITY SHOW-- COME ON. IT'S SHOW BUSINESS, BABY! OKAY? >> IT'S NOT SHOW FRIENDS. >> Stephen: NO, IT'S NOT SHOW
FRIENDS. IT'S NOT SHOW ARTS. LEGO MASTERS IS THE NAME OF THE
SHOW. SEASON TWO STARTS JUNE 1. WHAT SHOULD FANS EXPECT? >> DID YOU LIKE GOOD TIMES? <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
YOU WEREN'T READY FOR MY PROMO. >> Stephen: I DO-- I DO LIKE
GOOD TIMES. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
>> THEN YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE MIKE --
>> Stephen: I'VE NEVER BEEN ASKED-- I'VE NEVER BEEN ASKED
THAT QUESTION BEFORE, OTHER THAN A WOMAN THROUGH A WINDOW ON A
STREET CORNER. >> NEVER ABOUT A TV SHOW? >> Stephen: NEVER, NEVER. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID-- YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID, WHEN WE WERE
PITCHING THE SHOW-- WHEN WE WERE PITCHING THE SHOW, I MARCHED-- I
MARCHED INTO THE OFFICE OF THE BRASS AT FOX, I MARCHED IN
THERE. >> Stephen: OH, SURE. >> AND THEY ALL SAT THERE, ALL
THE BRASS, AND THEY SAID, "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT FOR US?"
AND I SAID-- I TOOK A BEAT. I HAD MY WHOLE CREW WITH ME. I HAD THE WHOLE LEGO CREW BEHIND
ME. >> Stephen: SURE, SURE. >> AND I LOOKED UP AT THEM AND I
SAID, "DO YOU LIKE EMMYS?" AND THEY THOUGHT I WAS KIDDING
AT FIRST. AND THEN THEY LOOKED AROUND AND
HUDDLED UP AND THEY WHISPERED AND STUFF AND THEY COME BACK AND
SAID, "YEAH, WE LIKE EMMYS." I SAID, "GREAT, THIS DEAL IS
DONE." >> Stephen: NOW, NOW. >> YUP. >> Stephen: IMAGINE THAT I
DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT SEASON. YOU CAN GIVE ME ANY INDICATION
AT ALL OF WHAT HAPPENS ON THE SHOW? >> YOU WHAN WE DID ON THE SHOW
THIS YEAR-- LAST YEAR WE HAD A LOT OF GREAT BUILDERS. THIS YEAR, BECAUSE OF THE
SUCCESS OF THE FIRST SEASON, WE HAVE TONS OF GREAT BUILDERS CAME
FROM ALL OVER THE COUNTRY-- EVEN MORE. AND PEOPLE ALSO LIKE IT WHEN
YOU-- WHEN YOU-- WHEN YOU BREAK LEGGOS. THEY KIND OF LOVE/HATE IT WHEN
YOU DO IT. >> Stephen: SURE. >> WE JUST DID IT A LOT. AND WE WERE SCBLODDING-- WE
ACTUALLY HAD LIKE AN ACTUAL EXPLOSIVE EXPERT IN THERE LACING
SOME OF THE BUILDS WITH EXPLOSIVES. WE'RE DROPPING THEM. WE'RE PUTTING THEM IN FRONT OF A
HUGE-- ONE OF THOSE HUGE 60-MILE-AN-HOUR WIND FANS, FANS
THEY USE ON MOVIE SETS. WE'RE DOING A LOT OF DESTROYING
OF LEGGOS. WE GET TO SEE A LOT OF REALLY
COOL BUILDS. IT IS A LOT OF FUN. AND I JUST EYE DON'T KNOW, IT'S
ONE OF THOSE THINGS. >> -- ITS A FEEL-GOOD SHOW. I ALWAYS SAY YOU WATCH A LOT OF
THESE SHOWS THAT ARE SORT OF REALITY, AND THEY'RE KIND OF
GOTCHA SHOWS. GET THEM ALL BOOZED UP AND WATCH
THEM FIGHT. THAT'S NOT LEGO MASTERS. IT COMES BACK TO IT'S GOOD TIMES
FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH. AND, TRUTHFULLY, I NEED TO KNOW:
DO YOU LIKE GOOD TIMES? >> Stephen: I DO, WILL ARNETT. AND THAT'S WHY I LIKE THIS
INTERVIEW SO MUCH. OKAY. OUR SECOND SEASON-- I'M SAYING
"OUR" BECAUSE I'M SO INVESTED AT THIS POINT. OUR SECOND SEASON OF LEGO
MASTERS STARTS JUNE 1 ON FOX. THE MAN IS WILL ARNETT,
EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
PERFORMANCE BY BROCKHAMPTON. ♪ ♪ ♪
Kind of funny that the one Maritime province Colbert recalled isn’t technically part of the Maritimes!
That's hilarious.
I would still buy them both a drink. Then I'd say "hey talk like Bojack" but he never actually stops talking like Bojack.
I grew up in Aroostook County, Maine.
New Brunswick, NJ never existed for me until I left the state, and it still doesn't enter my mind for any reason...cheers, neighbo(u)rs!
This is hilarious. I adore both of these men and am giddy that they joked about us. #byePEI
Meh. 1/10 chirp.
I am impressed that they knew that there was a bridge to PEI. But do they know what PEI means?