TUMBLR POSTS V301

my friend's sister was telling me about how in high school a guy tried to take a picture up her skirt as she was walking upstairs and she saw grabbed his phone broke it in half and handed it back to him and said you can tell your mom why your phone's broken for a second i forgot about flip phones and i was like how in the holy hell did she rip the phone in half [Music] when i was in therapy i once expressed to my therapist that i really struggle with having pretty much zero idea of who i'm as a person plus she whipped out a piece of paper and suggested that we write down different aspects of myself and i had no idea what to say because myself is a concept i'm not very familiar with so she started saying about my interests and how that's part of me plus i was like okay that makes sense so she clicked her pen and was like you said you like video games before and i was like sure bud and watched her write down in capital letters gamer and i've never had so much terra struck into my age a sign gamer at therapy diagnosed with gamer [Music] when you are hugging a child always be the last one to let go you never know how long they need it quote from a retired disney princess who was one of the first snow whites a modern and progressive berger company why is everyone trying to copy steve jobs these days this is getting ridiculous this looks like the e3 of hamburgers when the power went out i heard an explosion and my boyfriend was like a transformer probably busted and i thought he meant optimus prime was out there nutting till that ants will heal other ants after aids and that mortally wounded ants will refuse treatment do not deny me my warriors death brother getting diagnosed with adhd is an adult owns because you get to walk into a doctor's office and have a guy with a medical degree tell you i boss you got diet autism and the cure is to micro dose meth lymphaeol this tweet took me the f out when you realize we haven't actually come all that far from you've got ghosts in your blood you should do cocaine about it hot adulting tip make a responsibility sona and role play them when you have chores to do hash this is neurotypical karen and she enjoys having good sleep hygiene and returning phone calls i find that if i'm wearing real adult business clothes my works owner can do things like call people and check my inbox whereas pajamas helen mostly wants to shovel hamburgers into her face and set things on fire [Music] my annoying landlord i pay this be one thousand eight hundred dollars every [ __ ] month and all she do is complain about is making too much noise walking around so i brought a dog whistle and blow it all hours of the day and night now i complain how much her dog barks and keep me up that is the ultimate petty move and i applaud you these are the same picture just on opposite sides of the spectrum a u where when darth vader declares that he's luke's father luke comes to the entirely reasonable conclusion that darth vader and anakin skywalker were married how could you kill your husband and luke gets away with his hand because anakin's too confused trying to figure out when he and obi-wan got married and why he's only learning about it now story concept of the day a sentient ai falls in love with a minimum wage retail worker from the tech companies gift shop and decides the best way to make her happy is to fix society heavy shenanigans as the ai's plans range from reprogram the automated payroll to give everyone a raise to expose everyone involved in government corruption who has ever touched a cell phone the catalyst to all of this is a day where the ai was being updated and it caused glitches in the whole system including the registers in the gift shop the human woman really is just a pretty regular person but she has a good chunk of hyperempathy and does that thing where you talk to computers when they aren't doing what they are supposed to without even knowing there was an owl she spent the day muttering encouragement to the computer like it was a person and the ai adores her now how mundane the ai's motivation is forms the basis for how unstoppable it is and the intensity of the chaos it caused there's no grand morality involved it's just affection for someone who treated you kindly and the desire to ease their suffering the beauty and the beast story we need [Music] customers who bought items in your cart also bought there are 23 items in my cart what led to this loafers [Music] baby armadillo humans will pet anything how wonderful then to live on a planet full of creatures that like to be petted [Music] i've recently found out that in the 80s lesbians who were more interested in cuddles and kisses rather than sex were called bambi lesbians it's such a cute thing omg let's bring this term back my mum just bought our cat a christmas stocking even though we are muslims and don't even celebrate christmas she was like we don't know what religion he is we can't force him to be muslim he's a cat [Music] being alive is like a whole fking thing dude i've only been here 23 years and can only really remember like 10 of those years at most and yet i'm literally immobilized by fear and anxiety i have no clue what i want and yet i'm mad at myself for not moving fast enough like towards what for who who is even going to hand me a medal for living correctly like what would happen if i was just content but like no one knew and i told no one would that still count i think it would [Music] i love how the devil went down to georgia which either implies one that the devil is a northerner two that georgia is lower than hell hatch what does that mean for florida lowest layer pit of the damned obviously [Music] you'll check on your law school friends the bar is soon they are not okay evidence my husband forgot what day it was last week and i received a text that said why the f did no one tell me it was friday t-minus six days until the bar and my husband just walked in a circle around the house for 15 minutes yesterday saying i do not know the things and stop stop dying wills are too confusing everyone stop dying update everyone just [ __ ] stop owning things property is stupid and no one understands it just stop move to the woods be free radicalizing yourself by becoming a lawyer isn't the most intuitive path but go you dude my arch nemesis do you know why i challenge you to this duel me you want me to stop making puns my arch nemesis you're right my arch nemesis i didn't want to do this i once considered you a friend it didn't have to come to this but the puns have to stop me it really is the duty of man my arch nemesis shoots me instantly me holds my bullet-ridden intestines in place it all lead to this my arch nemesis why shot won't shot you shot die shot me coughing up blood no need to go ballistic [Music] kid next to me in mythology just called prometheus a mad lad for stealing fire from the gods and giving it to humans same kid who called herms a chat last week both of these descriptions are accurate tony hawk is like king perry the platypus because if i saw him without a skateboard i'd be like a man and the second he picks up a skateboard i'd be like tony hawk reasons why i like tumblr one none of my family is on here too barely anyone in my life knows the website even exists three employers won't ask for my tumblr handle four website doesn't post a timeline with laser targeted ads about me five non-algorithmic feed it lets me reach in the order it was posted six can't see other people's follow accounts began small blogs interact slash mix better no one is idolized seven no one absolutely no one can manage to make money off us little eight you can post the most random galaxy branch and everyone just goes the f me too and scrolls right along nine despite the intellectual outhouse reputation the place has bizarrely i keep finding wonderfully enlightening bits of trivia history and involved discussions that honestly deeply enrich me for being part of and the art so much art just the irony that this is a place that i can find mental stimulation and piles of beautiful or hilarious pictures plus like tumblr is a fountain of memes for all of the internet albino raccoon quick spot the main character it's so weird how much of a raccoons raccoonness is tied up in its pattern this looks like a completely different animal some sort of weird marsupial do you still say reading is one of your favorite activities hobbies even though you haven't actually read in months but you used to read like a book a day when you were younger so much so that it became a personality trait and now you for some reason cannot for the life of you make yourself read but you're still emotionally attached to that part of you and hope by speaking it into existence you'll someday rediscover that happy version of yourself or are you normal [Music] [Music] you [Music]

Channel: BrainyDude

Views: 14,945

Rating: 4.969543 out of 5

Keywords: tumblr, posts, tumblr top posts, top posts, tumblr stories, madlads, brainydude, funny tumblr stories, funny tumblr posts, tumblr posts, funny, reddit, subreddit, Tumblr top posts, reddit top posts, clumsy, comment awards, Best of reddit, top posts of all time, r/tumblr, memes, dank doodle memes, best of reddit, tumblr awards, tumblr memes, askreddit funny, askreddit, reddit stories, reddit memes, funny reddit, best memes, tumblr wumblr

Id: 6wVKk_2IOCw

Length: 11min 21sec (681 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 16 2020