Tumblr Awards v15

my favorite video game joke is referring to main characters as the game name like there goes halo hey it's jon by a shock because two serious gamer dudes will never think you're joking for some reason i'll never stop laughing about the time my friends and i were walking to a con and we could see some cosplayers walking up ahead amongst which was someone dressed as master chief and my friend shouted hey look it's the green guy from red versus blue in among us i hate it when i'm working and some frika finds a dead body and calls a meeting like bro this could have been an email some of us have jobs on this ship idk why people photoshop the crying cat meme on this pic when the run edited version is so powerful roommates making fun of me because i tried to pick up my cat and she went slack so i couldn't and ice cold did you turn back into a solid right this instant if my future esso doesn't stare at me like i'm their whole world while i stand there like a crackhead in the candle section of target smelling every single candle before buying one then what's the point my mom does this and my dad always watches her she thinks he's not paying attention but last year he remembered the ones she liked and used that knowledge to get her a custom scented candle for their anniversary he had it named target smiths this is the cutest addition to this post i could have ever asked for one time when i was like 12 my dad wanted me to put a dvd in the dvd player and i was like what do i get in return and he said you can have half of the winnings of this stupid lotto ticket and he ended up winning 600 thousand dollars and i was so pleased with myself three hundred thousand dollars when you're 12 is pretty much like infinity dollars he was so mad crap man three hundred thousand dollars would be like infinity dollars to me now [Music] anyway orange and green are canonically a couple and they have a blue sun white orange plus green plus blue or did they adopt they are gay and they adopted their son frick yeah they deserve it if you needed proof that i'm really not cut out for the casual environment of teaching from my living room just know that today i almost ruined a 20 minute long video i was recording about romano british culture because i almost said this dude fricks while talking about the beach in outfits worn by british chieftains in my defense look at this dude the level of this dude fix here is off the charts [Music] oh this dude does frick concept one of those mediocre white boy learns the secrets of ancient martial arts movies except the martial art in question is traditional scottish kickboxing the wise old mentor speaks with an indecipherable highland accent and spends the whole film in a full kilt for no particular reason i like the idea of a random chinese kid whose plane goes down somewhere in texas and he learns the cowboy arts and takes his whip lasso and magic horse back to china to reclaim his parents company today's aesthetic keeping the same tab open in your browser for three solid weeks because you're definitely going to get around to reading and slash or acting on whatever's in it any minute now this is a personal attack don't talk to me or my 67 tabs ever again [Music] when the master is galvanting about somewhere while you're home alone unbrushed unpetted unkissed t.i.l that on his death bed in 1936 king george's doctor issued the final notice the king's life is moving peacefully towards its clothes and then proceeded to inject him with 750 milligrams of morphine and 1000 milligrams of enough to kill him twice over absolutely lost in the source [Music] this is the first picture i was given of my unborn son congratulations it's a computer error things that will always sound sarcastic good for you thanks a lot yeah right nice to know wow way to go totally okay buddy not if you say man at the end okay buddy man i might not have thought that last one through last year one night me and my old roommates were all playing twister and mike was on the spinner and halfway through the game he kind of mumbled to himself i sure hope i'm calling these right and then everyone in the room simultaneously remembered that mike was colorblind you'll never have to google a question so dumb that you gotta go into incognito mode you will sleep asmr if you listen to this for 45 minutes and don't sleep this dude shows up at your house and beats you into a coma that's what the last two seconds are just misread can't stand minions as can't stand minoans and spend five minutes pondering how much of a grudge you could really have against the population of bronze age crete some youth stole my prized snake goddess statue can't have crap and gnosis [Music] ash being exposed to furries pikachu is into that crap gamers during april quarantine had her love in this adorable game about living in an isolated haven with a handful of people i love and making a comfy little home gamers during september quarantine freaking love this game about being trapped in a confined location and viciously murdering my friends while they complete meaningless repetitive arbitrary tasks to fill the time as a terrible feeling of dread slowly rises through space people on the internet are calling cassian amorphs a pacifist again guys please try to remember that cassie kills a cop in book one on a similar note i see people making the looks they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll meme about the anamorphs you are missing the point of an amorphs every one of those children is a stone cold killer so i'm currently working at a law firm and the other day one of the attorneys was talking to me and he mentioned that he's not very confrontational and i was like you are a lawyer and he said yeah but in court there are rules i can argue with some schmuck in a suit in front of a judge no problem but when i leave a courthouse and go home i'm not gonna argue with my wife about dinner there are no rules in our kitchen i would die there are no rules in our kitchen i would die just get in the car alice i'll explain on the way [Music] a seahorse admiring his own reflection from a diverse watch or maybe he's checking the freaking time seahorses got places to go to yeah no the seahorse is one of the slowest fish in the ocean the smallest able to move themselves at about six feet per hour so if that seahorse has some place to be i hope they've left a lot of time to get there there is no way i'm going to be able to pick the kids up from soccer practice now i went to a catholic elementary school with a really strict dress code and one time in fourth grade i came to school with my shirt untucked two days in a row and my teacher asked me if i was having problems at home i almost got arrested when i was seven because i was putting that fake snow stuff in plastic sandwich baggies and giving them to all my friends and more and more kids would come to me asking for snow and one of the kids parents found it and they thought it was so they called the police on us and they literally thought that a seven-year-old girl had created an underground drug distributing system social media is wonderful because it let the common folk enjoy endless posturing making of enemies and flaunting of wealth and romantic prospects all of which was previously reserved for the aristocracy what's the difference between posting a selfie at the gym knowing your high school bully will see it and showing up to the archduke's ball with a new silk gown from italy to one up janet of salisbury the hottest take okay but all i've done today is sleep lmao i woke up at noon ate lasagna and went back to sleep right after method actor garfield cosplayer shut up shut up shut up shut up me getting mauled by a cougar some peter person standing nearby this is what you get for eating meat i mean if not being vegan gets me roared by a milf i literally can't post anything on this site some feelings entering a warm room after being out in the cold the boom in your heart when you hear a firework explode having someone brush your hair the bus of your fingers opening a package you had been waiting for writing with a new pen the funny feeling in your stomach when you see the sun outside your window and realize you've stayed up all night i have a cactus called jared and i just went downstairs and was like jared released a new song and my mom was like what the frick is your plant doing my mom finally bought a toaster why did this get notes we are happy for you it's just a toaster it's been three years since i made this post stop congratulating me on the toaster stop asking me how the new toaster is doing i don't know i haven't lived with my mom in almost a year i haven't seen that toaster in months she might even have a new new toaster now who knows not me [Music] target a quiet dumb mood engaged [Music] a real statue in holland although it is a statue of father christmas locals will call it but plug known god bless but plug gnome alternatives to alternatives to zoom alternatives to police alternatives to toilet paper alternatives to amazon alternatives to facebook alternatives to hand sanitizer it's 20 20. this is the most 2020 photo i've ever seen my children hey mom what's for dinner me oh honey i'm serving up looks tonight my children mother we haven't eaten in days she can enter my home through song who merial with the welsh christmas horse skull i want more supernatural and westerns and more satirical comedies set during the roman empire is that so much to ask there's so much comedic potential in a show about bureaucrats in the 3rd century a.d they are doing their best to survive and keep the empire afloat while ignoring whatever general has said he's emperor this week god right like why the frick do they even make movies and tv shows set in rome that aren't about exasperated bureaucrats with unspeakably stupid problems to deal with the roman empire stupid whenever my girlfriend has to go do something while we are on call she puts a stuffed animal on camera so i don't get lonely today we let the fires have their own fun this is a bad idea literally give me one reason why they shouldn't have their fun couples quarrel boyfriend hey baby i have to cancel our date tomorrow something came up girlfriend oh i'm just small potatoes i'm not that important boyfriend certified iconic post drops a box of minion tic tacs am i minions there's minions everywhere bends over seductively to pick up a minion bends over seductively to pick up a minion bends over seductively to pick up a minion bends over seductively to pick up a minion that crap yurted that crap yerted ain't nothing wrong with eating some bread dipped in olive oil balsamic vinegar and various herbs lassica rim impostor igor ev yavin frig white's casting a spell on us translation of white in turkish frick the imposter go do your tasks ps white is named after the president of turkey oh thank god because when i put it through google translate it said this i'll frick the imposter frickle romance except for whatever barrick obama and harry styles had going on why is king come so freaking large the bigger you are the larger you are don't read this freaking caption if you're done squeamish or actually repressed beach but i just have to say this i have a daydream where two people are playing a game where they take turns shoving apples in my the loser is whoever can't get the last apple in pretty brutal huh well i'm insane people will talk about the art of war and literally always forget the most important strategy do them dirty in front of their dad sunday said you the art of war but also pee your pants to stay warm sunty said you the art of war two sunsets block your path one tells only the truth the other tells only lies anime is getting more and more realistic that's an iphone notice how the battery is at 100 percent he wrote one email one and the battery is at 91 unfortunately to get on your level i'd need a boat trip to the mariana trench and a pair of cinder block shoes that's gotta be the sickest burn i've ever read holy frick [Music] so if you attract pigeons with bread what did that guy throw outside freedom [Music] this ranks as one of the weirdest out of context frames i've ever seen someone who's never watched jojo please explain edgar allan poe achieves immortality and fricks off the only way he knows how [Music] i love how tenzin tries so hard to be patient and serene like his father but clearly inherited his temper from his mother i hate it when i find ancient tomes in grandma's attic and when i recite them latin i turn into a little frog who has to jump from key2key on my laptop computer in order to post online well what's happening tonight as much as i would like to explain my legs are starting to get really tired this next trick is a little something i like to call bulking out my bibliography with articles i barely looked at works cited [Music] i'm an english lit major your honor okay but all that means is you're a theater kid who gave up long live the lesbians 1995 i go to a women's college we have a walkway where bricks can be purchased by alumni most just say names or class years mascots but this one this one is special it speaks to me we waited 14 freaking years for the new incredibles to come out we have five shrek movies on list four despicable me and probably a second baby boss movie planned for less than a year now the real question is where is mega mine 2 slams fist on table where is mega mine 2 [Music] the only way to live with the cat i see you are doing a thing guess what it is time for me to cat hands down the funniest thing i have ever heard at college was overhearing the following sentence at a conference i asked him what his pronouns were and he said uh phd you will refer to me as doctor and as doctor alone spencer ed will be like i know a spot then take you to las vegas and accuse his father of murder normalize using taxpayer dollars to fly to las vegas in a private jet and accuse your father of murdering four-year-old riley jenkins can no longer listen to criticisms of how dumb people are in horror movies because it's been half a year of a pandemic and we still can't convince people to do something as basic as putting a piece of cloth over their face literally buy me a cat and i will seriously do anything you ask me to what if i bought you a cat but then asked you to eat the cat guys who rarely wear suits look at least 385 percent hotter when wearing a suit while guys who usually wear suits look 451 percent hotter when wearing casual clothes trust me this is science [Music] there's a tradition where if you step on the campus seal in the middle of the quad you won't graduate in four years unless you touch a statue of our school mascot a goat that's like 60 feet away across an open field within 10 seconds and i just watched a senior accidentally step on it holy crap at the top of his lungs drop his bags and break into a dead sprint across along i love college i like wearing oversized sweaters not because they are extremely comfy and cuddly but because whenever the sleeves are really big i get to flop them around and smack people i love sleeve smacking people like flippity flop you need to stop whippity warp don't talk crap morning guys i hope you remember today that if you slip up you can rest out your day at any time you don't have to wait till the next day to start over just sit down breathe for a few minutes and start again i like this i really like this reading this every day for the weeks to come i love how it's the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde as in yeah they are basically two sides of the same person but only one has a doctorate unless your b second personality helped you write that thesis it is your freaking doctorate i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy as a treat anyone who ships lesbians with men i officially hate you and i hope your wi-fi is crappy for the rest of your life a curious a shrek she'll hear if you platonically ship lesbians with men is it okay are you asking me if lesbians can have friends hey guys you get it it's pumpkin pie guys someone please quickly explain baby clothing sizes to me baby clothes are smaller than most adult or even children's clothes i hope this helps adopt me clears negative energy in any room quartz cupid old people be like back in my day they sung about real crap then they put it on and it's like way oh i love my baby and she is a [Music] sweetie [Music] you

Channel: Tumblr Reads

Views: 107,558

Rating: 4.9647756 out of 5

Keywords: tumblr, tumblr memes, dank memes, dank, memes, meme, funny, lol, comedy, humor, r/tumblr, best of tumblr, top tumblr posts, funny tumblr posts, hot tumblr posts, funniest tumblr posts, cowbelly, comment awards, tumblr reads, tumblr trophies, tumblr awards, text posts, tumblr posts

Id: Lq8NOMXmDo0

Length: 19min 42sec (1182 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 29 2020