here is fine

sometimes i don't want to paint anything i just want to get paint on my hand so there's a cat outside [Music] what get out of there i'd like to be in there [Music] can't stop thinking about this freaking dog my name is baked potato if you got kids it's time to deactivate you want to get rid of the milfs please think this through anyone else feel like the minute that you get in front of a doctor all the physical and mental symptoms you are acutely aware of over the past months feel like they never happened and you just in front of the doctor gaslighting yourself as you try to explain the things you know you experienced at the end of the day at least you and i have never paid cash money for a url gay school bus it is called gay school bus as the company was called gay toys inc as in the surname from the down with sis bus and friends collection greetings on july 14 2020 i will be shutting off my personal computer for good my mobile phone will be disconnected and melted with thermite i shall burn all my identification money and papers then i will commence my walk eastward into the rising sun it's time last christmas i told you my kink but the very next day you shamed it away i will be complimenting telepathically today so if you think of self love that was me wrist rooms are the two genders girl and orb there is no meme leave this is not a place of honor no amusing meme is commemorated here good freakin evening people [Music] til a new color ejeng raw is a shade of grey that we can all see but never knew what it was called the color is visible when you open your eyes in a pitch black room all you need to do is find the darkest room of your house walk in close your eyes for a minute open them and you'll see it you won't trick me demon turning into my father turning into my mother really feeling this today stay on the rope stay on the rope tigger looks like a new man after his spa session today no offense but oh my god i can't stop ducking cast friendly reminder that if you're mean to tigger i will pull your whole spine out of you imagine bullying the old friend senior dogs decrease the increase lol who's the sultry little bench on the bottom left this post is less than one percent away from being completely incomprehensible t.i.l that five nights at freddy's is the scariest game of all time i can't play it makes me so so so so so scary all you say is be gay do crime but when a beach actually murders cooks and eats people suddenly you care about the law here's the thing you gotta understand about statistics increases your chances by 80 percent does not mean there is now an 80 chance if your chances were previously 10 your chances are now 18 not 90 if your chances were roughly one percent they are now just slightly less than two percent that's how that works i used to carry around those little bottles of maple syrup in my purse when i lived in texas i have people send them to me so i could use them in a place drive good syrup alex are you sure you don't actually live in canada looks at my thousands of dollars of medical debt positive then call me racist i don't care the only colors i see are people's auras and chakras while i'm attuning them frick me i guess bro do you really have to circle it when it's the only thing in the picture that's it's aura i feel like i'd enjoy being an assassin if it didn't involve killing people what if instead of killing people you got hired to just ruin their day like the mayfair or someone paid you to park behind someone's car so they can't back out of a spot when they are in a rush in the morning and you make them late for work i would enjoy that immensely there is a long list of people that i would gladly do that to without payment this is how low tier super villains start as far back as i can remember i always wanted to be whole something minimally embarrassing happens on a light-hearted tv show me to myself covering my eyes with a blanket don't worry baby it's not real it's only actors in real life embarrassing things don't actually happen congratulations you scrolled so far that you have found an isopod congratulations it's funny cause every single time i see this i've been scrolling for 30 seconds tops when my parrot wants pets or someone he'll go up to them say hello and lower his head to expose his neck recently however he's been doing this to a pitch black crevice behind the couch even trying to cajole the darkness with kissy noises and getting sad when the void won't pet him how do i explain that dark chasms are not friends there's a ghost in there a damn rude one too pet the bird reasons why i don't like starting conversations first i feel annoying i feel like you might not want to talk i feel unwanted when you don't reply it normally turns awkward and fades out however if you talk to me first and make attempts to keep conversation going you are a holy being in my mind i have never had anything be more accurate than this in primary school we had a creative writing assignment where we had to write about a character in a new strange situation and i wrote about a squid that was somehow teleported from the ocean to the forest floor and slowly choked to death for two pages and i'll never quite forget my teacher's face because it turns out she wanted this new school is scary i hope i make friends and not a graphic description of a squid dying well that's just the risk you take if you decide to teach creative writing if celery is 90 water is the ocean 10 celery as a scientist i can confirm that this is definitely how percentages and fractions work and yes the ocean is 10 celery which is why we cannot drink ocean water for we would choke on the celery oh you're an adult why are you in fandom kit if being mocked for fandom crap wasn't enough to stop me when i was an actual 15 year old hearing it from a 15 year old when i'm 30 is genuinely hilarious it is kind of amusing when teenagers think their high school peer pressure crap is going to work on adults like lol you have no power here fetus my mortgage is a bigger emotional threat to me than you are cringe culture no longer works on me i was peak cringe you know nothing of the early days some edgy loner character in a tv show do you know do you know what it's like to be afraid of yourself me thinking about that time i ate an entire family-sized bag of doritos in one evening god dude i sure do year one of mental illness versus year 10 you ever been tied to a bed only by my depression short story technology but every english teacher ever holy crap oh my god oh my freaking literary masterpiece oh my god short story contains fog every english teacher ever it means confusion ugh his mind freaking symbols i wouldn't expect your tiny pea-sized brains to underst i'm upset why is there maple milk and waffle cones but not maple ice cream seriously i need to talk to the ceo of flavors there's hot dog ice cream but not maple ice cream wait what there is definitely maple ice cream well i have to go to new hampshire now don't i come on over man we got maple crap everywhere it's great canada but patriot canada but shotgun noises what do vampires need all those long dining tables and fancy plates and silverware and crap for they don't eat to flex getting a large wooden table into your house is incredibly painstaking the axe forgets but the tree remembers this is a huge thing especially with kids to the parent they are lashed out when they were mad and forgot about it expecting the kid to forget to to the kid it was a big moment that defined your relationship with your parents stuff my parents don't remember doing or saying were things that to me spoke very very loudly that i was not safe to be open and honest with my parents the axe forgets but the tree remembers indeed let's say hypothetically that i wanted to sue a school district for psychological damage done by bullying they didn't even try to prevent it had every opportunity to could die yeah but you would not get very far you'd spend more on a lawyer before even filing the lawsuit damn so i guess we are just supposed to take our mental scars and stuff it up i didn't say that pull a 2015 tumblr murder the superintendent jess 2020 is short but also like terribly and insufferably long at the same time i have found the mood i don't understand how on tv people can break into homes and immediately find bank statements passports and super important documents if someone tried that at my place it would be i'm sure she keeps her important stuff in her desk no wait this drawer is full of pens that don't work aha this box looks important oh never mind it's full of cigarette lighters she doesn't even smoke i can't even find my own important documents in my own home half the time if someone breaks in and instantly finds my stuff they are hired a knife begging to be used it sounds like you're trying to sell me a cursed knife therapist how was your week me hum i can't remember therapist what are you thinking right now me um i don't know i learned the word from reading stephen king books but he spelled it come like a good repressed new england boy so i always thought that's how it was spelled plus still prefer that spelling also now whenever i might think of stephen king me doing research oh wow hot topic was founded in 1988 that's earlier than i expected me scrolling down a bit doing a comical spit take spencer's june 19th 1947 when u.s army corps bombardier max spencer adler was shot down over europe and imprisoned by the nazis during world war ii it's not likely he dreamed of one day becoming the czar of shape lollipops and lava lamps but when adler became a free man he decided to capitalize on a booming post-war economy by doing exactly that you cannot be serious where can i get your blood it's free but you have to catch me search up how lobsters communicate then you'll freaking understand my pain how do lobsters communicate lobsters pee out of their faces they have urine release nozzles right under their eyes they urinate in each other's faces as a way of communicating either when fighting or mating imagine if instead of saying the phrase bust a nut we said crank that soldier boy russia really is big land like if i had all that land you'd know i'd dedicate some of it to a giant pit no one has seen the bottom two fun fact about russia it has about the same surface area as pluto with about 17 million km2 well now i know what's going in the pit i'm so glad i was so worried about what i was going to do tumblr in anime on tumblr we've gone too deep so is he looking at anime girls or real girls [Music] god sculpted me to slide into small metal tubes and sneak around in vents and have you been fulfilling that purpose i don't know buddy it's not like i'm literally tubing my way towards you as we speak till that the ideal pair of female hands based on science would be approximately 0.75 meters long have several fingers and contain at least five bones a divot on the end of each finger is also considered highly desirable 0.75 meters is like two freaking feet long what the frick are you talking about the ideal pair of hands if you click the link it just leads to a blank page that says the divits are for scooping up salsa hey so the combination of the precision of the 0.75 meter measurement and the deeply unsettling vagueness of several fingers is honestly freaking my whole crap up hypothesis magic girls are pokemon that go through distinct levels of evolution [Music] bad boy this flower-shaped confetti contains flower seeds that grow into wild flowers it is handmade and biodegradable so it leaves no waste this is actually kind of perfect for outdoor weddings omg casually reblogging this entire tag lol whoop you could have your wedding in an empty space next to your house and have a garden to commemorate your marriage omg i want to peg his heart hashtag my vampire bf trembling upon seeing me reblog this post all my friends are funnier than me and i'm sick of it i choked on my water one time i accidentally went to the men's washroom instead of the women's i only found out after i opened a pad and the person in the store next to me said dude it must be a huge crap if you're having snacks in here good luck so awesome of chaikovsky to write ballets based off of a couple barbie movies cool guy my anaconda don't want none unless you got hot cross buns hot cross buns one a penny two a penny hot cross buns this ad scares me have you been injured if not you soon will be cat kicked out of home depot why who gives you the right i was on the subway today and when the train got delayed this little kid was like frick and a literal chorus of grown-ups went hey a wormhole this is the greatest thing i've ever seen on here i had to go to a library to pay a fee and i was practicing in the car between i have to pay a fine and i have to pay a fee and i walked in and firmly stated i have to pee and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter the fee was like 10 cents and walked out this was like three years ago and i still haven't been back my friend was driving and we were almost past our turn off so i tried to say quick and fast at the same time and i ended up screaming quack which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn bell about to ring binders are being put away teacher stop the class isn't over bind is being put away slightly slower why are teachers so offended by proper time management [Music] i always would see these and wonder how it happens when you say swear to god and he bring his ear close to listen to the lie you about to tell can open a wearing noise hashtag offend everyone in four words just watch me do it and only two juiced beef who wants to see the worst thing i've seen this week too bad i'm showing you anyway [Music] that's a really long fox um if you'll notice the fox part on the left has front legs and the fox on the right has hind legs that's eight legs obviously this is a spider not a fox follow four more science facts thanks science side one thing i've learned when people end whatever they're saying with idk i'm probably not making any sense it usually means they are telling you something very close and personal to them something that's such an integral part of their being that they have trouble putting it into words that do it justice a foot fetishes told me my feet were weird at a party once do you know how humiliating it is to have your feelings hurt by the foot dude you're making up people skinny from the nine arrested on assault and kidnapping charges who me i'm so tired of discourse me who wants to hear my controversial opinions and then fist fight about it in a dark alleyway at 3 26 pm what is your kink literally any hint of affection we like musicals but we love our storage room this interracial gay couple who love musicals and storage space is my favorite thing about new york what part of the sign says they are a gay couple sorry honey you're right they are just very close roommates just two bro sharing storage space so what i don't care four stages of stress short shorts and tiny tops are not an invitation for your commentary the temperature is higher than my patients the temperature is higher than my patients is my new summer motto you know what's really odd numbers not divisible by two that joke was so bad i can't even no excuse for being unemployed there's jobs everywhere in nature help a beaver builder damn help the seagull peck some disgusting old food self-care isn't always lush bath bombs and twenty dollar face masks sometimes it's going to bed at 8 p.m or letting go of a bad friend it's forgiving yourself for not meeting your impossible standards and understanding you are worth it nonetheless self-care isn't always luxury but a mean for survival break a hacker's heart hacker's voice i i'm not in so i can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4 000 degrees for one minute nick no that's not how you bake cookies friend floor it nick know how about four million degrees for one second nick you are going to burn your house down i'm going to harness her son to make cookies nick please i'm feeling so sensual and nude like a crocodile exactly like a crocodile hey you guys are gonna hate me for this but can i say it anyway gay furry bottoms are called subwoofers you're right i hate you without corporate blogs none of you would know when to stop running memes into the ground corporate blogs are the mean carnivores that keep the population in check a detestable yet essential part of the meme ecosystem at the person reading this rn you're ugly ain't you the first one to read this though sprays this post with pesticide to keep others off it he he tickles my little leg is on this post freaking rips your legs off my friend really changed once she became a vegetarian it's like i've never seen her before i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she's two rooms away me i literally couldn't care less about what people think about me also me was i annoying today i just wanna know if a girl says she wants to cut her hair short and your responses i don't like girls with short hair you probably need to back up and think about how the world doesn't actually revolve around you 100 dollar bill sticks and stones may break your bones but names leave psychological wounds that never heal he even has the math to back it up [Music] you

Channel: Tumblr Reads

Views: 93,843

Rating: 4.9612904 out of 5

Keywords: tumblr, tumblr memes, dank memes, dank, memes, meme, funny, lol, comedy, humor, r/tumblr, best of tumblr, top tumblr posts, funny tumblr posts, hot tumblr posts, funniest tumblr posts, cowbelly, comment awards, tumblr reads, tumblr trophies, tumblr awards, text posts, tumblr posts

Id: p3SWbrpquAQ

Length: 20min 30sec (1230 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 24 2020