Tucker Carlson Out at Fox News, Trump Attacks Late Night Hosts & Musk Gives Back Blue Checkmarks

previously on Jimmy Kimmel Live it's enough James Corden Richard Manning and music from They Might Be Giants with Pluto and the Cleaton and now Jimmy Kimmel [Music] oh that's very nice [Applause] thank you for watching thank you for joining us here at our please relax it's um Talent embarrassing thanks I hope you had a good weekend I gotta tell you it's all for me it's always a fun start to the weekend when I'm in the car with five six-year-olds on the way home from a long birthday party day at Universal Studios suddenly everybody you know starts texting did you see what Trump said about you all at once and then the kids started asking what did Donald Trump say about you well kids what the former president of the United States said about me and Stephen Colbert and all the late night hosts I guess is this these losers are dying they are bad for our country which is in serious decline nobody wants to watch this negativity anymore there's nothing funny about them they're highly overpaid easily replaceable fools thank you we still have our job so um listen to them and Vladimir gluten talking about negativity he is out of his mind right now I know he's been crazy for a long time maybe even forever but it's ratcheting up I'm telling you he was on this podcast this is It's called Full send it's these young guys who uh goof around their last guest before Trump was on was a porn star so and the week before that it was Don JR we've never as a country been in the danger that we're in right now uh you have other countries and in particular Russia but other countries talking uh the n-word which is the nuclear word in this case and you can't do you can't use that term you can't use because there's two n-words right there are two red words right which one's worse uh they're both real bad yeah this is why they never let them on Sesame Street he's constantly bringing up the n-word now when talking about nuclear war I don't know I think it's a mystery to every maybe even him included but this is his bigly thing now your real global warming would be nuclear global warming that's that's a warming that will take seconds and that's a warming that will melt Granite you know what Granite is it's a very powerful very hard Stone if you take a look at Hiroshima or Hiroshima it's a lot of people call it arthritis trying to be fair somebody's been using those Rosetta Stone cassettes Eric got him for Christmas this is quite a meeting of the Minds The Host asked Trump to weigh in with one word assessments on some uh notable individuals and like any good president he did Elon Musk one word uh uh one word smart Joe Biden dumb no Kim Jong-un uh interesting very interesting O.J Simpson which we had on this podcast very well I do very well um I better not get into it I knew O.J so well cheater on the golf course no I don't think he cheats but I'd say golf I mean he loves playing golf I just say God because I want to be very nice you know I was that was a terrible situation yeah that one he handles delicately the one question he thinks twice about answering in his whole life Kim Jong-un no problem OJ all I'll say is he loves golf okay Trump is revving the engines he made a remote appearance for a crowd of evangelicals in Des Moines Iowa over the weekend Maga Teresa sent in a video message to the crowd at the faith and freedom Coalition and man oh man does this guy know how to connect with a religious audience as the most pro-life president in American history I will continue to stand strong against the extreme late-term abortionists in the Democrat Party who believe in abortion on demand in the ninth month of pregnancy and even executing babies after birth they actually talk Beyond birth after birth executing the baby what executing babies after birth who is doing this and how did they strap the baby into an electric High here how does it work what kind of nonsense is coming out of this lunatic's mouth and the crowd goes along with it I guess I don't I feel like these people would be okay with abortion if they let the doctors use AR-15s Mike Pence also appeared before the faith and freedom fight Crew He was there in person Trump and Pence have been appearing separately at all the same events lately they're like a divorced couple showing up at the kids soccer games and Lord Almighty when you talk about wow in our crowd until you've seen Mike Pence in front of a group of evangelicals well you haven't seen Mike Pence in four short years we rebuild our military we secured our border we revived our economy we unleashed American Energy but most important of all testing one two three that was for emphasis in his written material is strong but when he goes off the cuff like that look out I mean that's when mother takes her Bonnet right off oh I do want to mention you know so you know I don't know if you know with Twitter it erased all the blue check marks for anyone who refused to pay eight dollars a month well over the weekend A lot of people with more than a million followers had their check marks restored including me which is annoying because I don't want anyone to think I'm giving money to Elon Musk which I am not somehow this genius managed to change what was a status symbol that blue check mark into the internet equivalent of a cold sore on your lip he gave Twitter herpes and because of that a lot of people who had their check marks restored wanted to make things clear Bette Midler wrote yes Elon gave me back my blue check but I didn't pay for it little Nas X tweeted oh on my soul I didn't pay for Twitter blue you will feel my wrath Tesla man and Trixie Mattel wrote I did not pay for Twitter blue you effing Pig it's really something how can you screw Twitter up this much all they do is post little messages there's nothing it's like screwing up Ben and Jerry's it's like a Ben and Jerry who said yeah we have a good business but these flavors are too liberal what if we did a Heil van Hitler at least Twitter's still in business for Well for now anyway Bed Bath and Beyond yesterday announced their filing for bankruptcy it you know if only they'd had 20 percent more Revenue but what was once um you know pretty huge American retail store has transformed into I don't know if you've been into the saddest place to buy pillow shams on Earth the company though says they're planning to stay open as they get their finances in order but stores will close if they can't figure that out in time which and I don't mean to pile on because I've had some real good times at Bed Bath and Beyond real good time buying accent rugs you know those shoe organizers you hang on the closet door really great stuff but let's be honest the shore should have been called bed bath and that's it there's no Beyond there never was a Beyond right here that's right who could probably use one of those big blue 20 off coupons to cheer them up right now and I you probably know them too we have some news from within our Fox Family Fox news media and Tucker Carlson have mutually agreed to part ways Tucker's last show was this past Friday that's right Fox News has severed bow ties with Tucker Carlson after all these years they are parting ways uh which means he was fired I mean that's really what party weighs me was said to be stunned by the move it reportedly was in the middle of renegotiating his contract someone released a photograph of Tucker's face the moment he found out he was being fired and you can see he was surprised to say the least Tucker couldn't be reached for comment he's already on a plane to Moscow to meet with his manager but what a shock I mean what an absolutely delightful shock this is they say Rupert Murdoch made this decision himself this is more like an episode of succession than last night's episode of succession and that was the only dramatic cable news beheading announced today about a few minutes after the fox announcement this came out on CNN I want to share with you some important news right here at our own network CNN's Oliver Darcy is back with us Oliver what do you know some shocking news again John in the world of cable news uh Don Lemon and CNN have parted ways again with departed ways Don Lemon and Tucker Carlson I for those of you don't follow cable news this is like if Ronald McDonald and the Burger King got fired on the same day supposedly neither Network knew the other was doing this when we have some breaking news after 20 years on the air ABC TV has decided to part ways with it holds Jimmy Kimmel this was a mutual decision we want to say thank you to Jimmy Kimmel and his many many contributions and wish him and them in the verse him well and his future and on personal note I would like to say to Jimmy don't let the door hit in your ass on the way out [Music] Luther who will have more on this situation as it developed this has been ABC News special report wow that's uh well that's uh I have to say a hell of a way to find out could have been worse I could have been traded to the Jets you know back to uh Tucker even though he didn't know what Friday was his last show which means uh this is what will be immortalized in cable news history as Tucker's final segment on Fox News a guy showing up with a pizza he ordered this is sausage that's sausage and pineapple and really quick as a pizza professional do you look down on this order is this I do I think that I consider a criminal he ordered a sausage and pineapple pizza he should have been fired on the spot for that alone but the best moment of his would turn out to be his final episode Tucker saved for last we'll be back by the way the entire episode of let them eat bugs not quite as good as Pizza streaming now on Fox station use a promo code Originals for 30 days free and we'll be back on Monday in the meantime have the best weekend with the ones that you love and we'll see you then no you won't be eating bugs at home he came in on a line he went out with one two the good news is now Tucker can spend more time at home tanning his testicles and touching himself to that sexy green Eminem sadly he's probably not done poisoning old people's brains the question now is where will he do it next will he go to oan will he go to Newsmax will he crawl back up Satan's fiery b-hole from whence he came we don't know but wherever he goes we thought a right to celebrate his departure would look back at where he went so here now to send him off in style we give you one last dance with one of the most despicable Mother Tuckers ever to appear on American television M Ms will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous half the viewers right now are like what that's quotation that's crazy but my view is okay testosterone levels a crash and nobody says anything about it that's crazy dude stop testicle tanning come on Bobby worship me as I dress up like a woman or I'll Crush you your response when you see children wearing masks as they play should be no different from your response to seeing someone beat a kid in Walmart it's tough to make you feel like you're going crazy after a while am I the only person who sees that all this is total BS pan as it turns out could easily kill you if they felt like it thank God they don't they're not against sex either they just hate unsexy zoos who are these chicken Tuckers out there that the CDC is concerned about and we're not judging as we ask that we just would like to know it they're rodents but when you get close to them they're incredibly cute why is the State against them amazing [Laughter] that's it for us tonight Jimmy Kimmel is in for Sean really really that's a great line all right talk to a great show thank you [Music] [Applause]

Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

Views: 1,878,565

Keywords: jimmy, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, late night, talk show, funny, comedic, comedy, clip, comedian, mean tweets, Monologue, Guillermo, Hollywood, Los Angeles, West Coast, Cold Open, Donald Trump, Late Night, Trump, Full Send, Kim Jong Un, Mike Pence, Iowa, Twitter, Elon Musk, Bed Bath and Beyond, Bankruptcy, Fox News, Tucker Carlson, CNN, Don Lemon

Id: Xz_u92u6eI4

Length: 13min 51sec (831 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 24 2023