Trump's Massive Flip-Flop on Mail-In-Voting & Right Wingers Spew Poison for Pride

hi I'm I'm the host of the show thank you for watching please relax thank you for joining us here in our studio we are in Hollywood where we uh we make movies about going to space here in Hollywood but the real Space Cadets we all know are in Florida the uh first ever man Flight of the Boeing Starliner spacecraft launch today after multiple delays with a pair of NASA astronauts on board Boeing um Boeing seems to have trouble getting a sense CNA I don't should they be going should they be headed into space I don't know they put extra duct tape on the doors just to be Sav the astronauts are headed to the International Space Station they'll get there tomorrow with an important piece of equipment on board you know going to the bathroom up the International Space Station is pretty important and up there they recycle all of the astronauts urine turn it into drinking water but there's a problem with that um recycling pump the urine recycling pump so to speak so they're bringing up a replacement part to hopefully rid the astronauts up there of all the bags of urine that are sitting around the space station right now I'll tell you that definitely isn't on the list of activities at space camp I had no idea being an astronaut was So Glamorous man that wasn't the only nerve-wracking Flight of the day President Biden today touchdown in Paris careful go easy take it one r good good good and okay very good we did it it's the trip is already a success Biden is in France to commemorate the 80th anniversary of dday and also to dig up some of the old nudy mags he and the boys in his platoon buried there in 1944 he's traveling freely without permission from a probation officer which is refreshing meanwhile our former president Napoleon bonis bur you may remember when uh he was in France a few years ago he refused to visit a cemetery filled with Fallen American soldiers because it was raining and he didn't want to mess up his hair and he also told his chief of staff the cemetery was filled with losers and suckers and now he would like to be our president again his U you know there's one thing that Donald Trump has stuck to and there aren't many things he's a real contradict head but if there's one Maxim by which he stands it is his strong opposition to voting by mail mailin voting is totally corrupt get that through your head mailin voting open the floodgates to massive fraud there is no way you can go through a mailin vote without massive cheating they'll never have an honest election with a mailin ballot on mailin voting 20% of the ballots were rigged and broken and disgusting somebody got a ballot for a dog never do mailing ballots because you'll never have an honest election we don't want mail in voting mailin ballots will lead to the greatest fraud mailin ballots you know are going to be corrupt mailin ballots had been stolen from mail boxes and hidden under a rock if we're going to have mailin ballots we're never going to have honest elections okay but that that was all the way back in 2020 this is what he thinks about it now whether you vote early absentee by mail or in person we must swamp the radical Democrats with massive turnout we want to save America register get an absentee or mailin ballot vote early that's right Mike Lindell must be rolling his pillow van in a ditch right now I mean after all the whining and the bitching and the complaining and the allegations Trump would like you to mail your votes and and no one bats an ey there's no explanation whatsoever after going 0 for 34 in court last week the uh Big Orange felon head appears to be benefiting from some of the conflicted judges he complained about so much in New York cases against Trump in Florida and Georgia are hitting a big beautiful wall that Mexico didn't even have to pay for Georgia appeals court today delayed the election subversion case there indefinitely this is the one about the perfect phone call he made asking the Georgia Secretary of State to get him 11,000 votes and in the hiding top secret documents in this toilet case Eileen Cannon the Trump appointed judge slowed the case down even more than she already has and as a result neither of the cases is likely to go to trial before the election and the Supreme Court is yet to weigh in on Trump's claim that he has total immunity which is slowing down the January 6th case too man if Biden is weaponizing the justice system he's doing an absolutely terrible job he's really he should be fired for that alone and Major leag Baseball a very big gambling Scandal is resulting in some very serious punishment a number of players uh including San Diego Padres infielder former infielder tuap Marano has been uh banned for life for placing nearly 400 bets on baseball more than 230 of them on his former team the Pittsburgh Pirates 25 of the bets were made while he was an active member of the Pirates roster and maybe the most embarrassing part of the whole thing is he wasn't even good at it he won just over 4% of all his baseball related bets he lost 96% of the forget the lifetime ban on playing he should get a lifetime ban from betting imagine now he's now he can't play anymore imagine making it all the way from Venezuela you get to the San Diego Padres and you screw up so badly you have to move back in with your actual Padre June as you probably know is pride month which means a lot of parades a lot of Pride we had a big one here in West Hollywood on Sunday if you never been to this parade the floats are very elaborate uh companies Community groups organizations even celebrities get these massive displays together these vots and while most of them are very creative there are some that aren't great and every year they have a vote and these are the five least popular Pride floats for 2024 are you ready number five the fishing channel number four Boost Mobile customer service number three the flat wear section at Marshalls number two Campbell's Chunky beef stew and the number one least popular float at this year's Pride Parade Dr scholes planter fascitis pain they are yeah in um in addition to pride month being a time for gay people to celebrate their sexuality coming out Etc it is also and this is important to a time for straight people to do weird angry things to get attention from cable news all right it is pride month the rainbow Mafia shoving their agenda down our throats for 30 days hide your kids or maybe take them to Boise Idaho where a a bar on the outskirts of town called The Old State Saloon is turning June into heterosexual awesomeness month every Monday in the month of June will be hetero male Monday where free draft beers will be given to any straight guy who's dressed like a straight guy there's going to be a judge to determine if the men are dressed straight or not wait a let me see if I have this straight so the idea is guys show up at a bar and another guy judges their out outfits I mean it's actually one of the gayer things I've ever heard that's basically query isn't it that's what they do now over in Missouri uh no local politician has gotten into the pride month Spirit less than a very very crazy young woman who's running for Secretary of State there her name is Valentina Gomez and she is running on quite an unusual platform it's 6:00 a.m. and I'm doing the 15 mile run from St Louis City to CRI Court Missouri without the hundreds of PES that wanted to join me because they pissed off a bunch of weak and gay people that always find a way to mess things up so you and what you become your 41st Secretary of State and know remember the days when you could be sure someone like that would lose the election that can't be a real candidate I will never support a company that wants to empower and protect pedophiles and groomers in our schools and libraries so feed your dogs something that is now weak and gay this is good versus evil yes oh I'm amazed that domain name was still available right uh listen don't just don't here's a rule of thumb whatever your beliefs don't vote for anyone who says libraries okay anyway TI M unfortunately is a great excuse for some of these right-wingers to spute poison the new thing they're pretending to be very outraged by is an animal documentary that Premier tomorrow on Peacock called queer Planet it's clear that no matter where you look on our planet nature is full of queer surprises gay Penguins bisexual Lions sex changing clown fish this is a queer Planet I've always said that you know i' the the Earth is Sig freed and our moon is Roy it's it's really so anyway a number now people of course are very very angry they've been posting about this they're turning our monkeys gay now that kind of thing and there are even some wildlife sanctuaries making a thing out of this too want to see wild animals but don't want to be exposed to their woke and Ultra gay agendas grab the kids and step into the straight Zoo where every animal is a heterosexual red-blooded breeder alpha males and hey Betty CIS sloths guy hyenas get her done gorillas horny horn pills motorboat nuts and donkeys whose pronouns are he and H if you're looking for flamingos you can right off all our creatures are penis fear and Patriots flag love and felines magga Mir cats and by not so curious vion the straight Zoo located on South Willis Street in b Texas right behind the holy spirit's Christian church and liquor store it's the zoo for you [Applause]

Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

Views: 2,017,519

Keywords: jimmy, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, late night, talk show, funny, comedic, comedy, clip, comedian, mean tweets, Monologue, Guillermo, Hollywood, Los Angeles, West Coast, Space, Boeing, Starliner, NASA, Joe Biden, Paris, D-Day, Donald Trump, Trump, Mail in Ballots, Trump Trials, MLB, Baseball, Padres, Tucpita Marcano, Pride Month, LGBTQ+, Pride Floats, The Straight Zoo, Mike Lindell

Id: wpfcRFz5Ht4

Length: 10min 44sec (644 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 06 2024