Biden Honors WWII Vets | Trump Warns Kids About Drugs And Cigarettes | Egyptian Meat Controversy

[Applause] welcome welcome welcome one and all to The Late Show I'm your host Steven colar today today marks the 80th anniversary of D-Day or as they call it in Chicago D day dday of course the turning point in defeating the Nazis the original Nazis not the gritty reboot to commemorate the sacrifices of World War II leaders from all around the world visited Normandy today including President Biden Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and the king of World War II Tom Hanks you know this is true this is true if you whisper the words Omaha Beach three times into a mirror Hanks appears behind you and makes an amazing and kind of funny speech that makes you proud to be an American President Biden was joined by approximately 150 American veterans including two dozen who actually fought on D-Day the youngest of whom is 96 and here's here's President Biden spending time with one of those Heroes and once again once again these vets did an incredible service to their Nation they made Joe Biden look young thank you president turned on that classic Biden charm telling one of the veterans God willing we'll see you at the 110th anniversary that's awesome the 80th anniversary is today and the youngest one of those guys is 96 so by the 110th they'll be that's awesome yeah yeah yeah yeah see you guys there Biden invoked the generation that beat fascism in the' 40s to beat it again in the 2020s and the NYPD is doing their part in this fight because now that Trump has been convicted of 34 felonies the NYPD is preparing to revoke his license to carry a gun no gun no gun he going to have to change one of his signature brags I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose any voters tell you what I could still stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and I don't know give someone a purple nerle uh sack tap toomic wedgie it wouldn't lose a single vote not a single vote hit him with the rubber band wow Wet Willie [Applause] [Laughter] ever since he was convicted of again 34 felonies Trump has played the victim he claims that him paying off a porn star was somehow Joe Biden's idea and he was asked about his conviction last night on Hannity people are claiming you want retribution would you do that ever look what's happened to me has never happened in this country before and it has to stop because wait a minute I want to hear that again it has to stop well it does have to stop I would have every right to go after them I would what theyve done is horrible and has to stop which is why I can do it too as Jesus says in the Bible if a man strike you on the cheek Hulk smash he's smash don't don't make Jesus angry you wouldn't like when I'm angry I'd still love you but you would wouldn't like me Jesus said that Jesus said that you can look that up he'll still love you Trump suggested that Americans put aside their differences and love one another like they do at that famous pacifist organization the UFC you know what what I watched and it was very some of the fighters two in particular hated their opponent and this went on for months and the fight you know was sure broadcast out and uh they announced the fight and they the hatred was real it it was the real deal these people have they have a lot of hatred and they hate it and then the fight ended and they're hugging and kissing in the ring they're down sitting on the they're hugging and kissing I know it sounds unlikely but remember what MMA stands for mwah [Music] Mah also also leave it to a guy who bankrupt at a casino to not understand how fight promotion Works get this a week before the fight both guys had to meet at the weigh-in and I thought uhoh these guys are going to kill each other but then they ended up just taking pictures with Logan Paul's energy drink makes your skin hurt Hannity Hannity asked Trump about the issue of drugs crossing the southern border and Trump waxed poetic about the dangers of addiction I say that to people with your children they ask me what do you think in children what do you tell them I say no drugs no alcohol I also say no cigarettes don't have the cigarettes don't have cigarettes don't have them I have friends that can't stop smoking powerful powerful words reminds me of Nancy Reagan's famous PSA just say no drugs no alcohol just also say no cigarettes don't have the cigarettes don't have the cigarettes don't have them I have friends they can't stop smoking just we miss you Trump has been claiming everywhere that Joe Biden is weaponizing the justice department turning into the Joe stapo railroading his opponents on a fascist asella led by commant Chuchu selini of course that is slightly undercut by the fact that Biden does not control the New York state court system and that the Department of Justice is actually presently Prosecuting Democratic Congressman Henry quar investigating Missouri Democrat Cory Bush and is presently trying Biden's son Hunter because he allegedly lied on a gun purchase form when he said he wasn't using drugs wait a second it's against the law to buy guns while using drugs okay who's going to arrest Florida do they one one big cup they put a tff around the hole plus if Biden was really pulling the strings maybe he would have stopped the doj from Prosecuting New Jersey Democrat and business Bilbo Robert Menendez Senator Menendez is currently on trial in New York where he and his wife Nate Dean are accused of accepting gold bars cash a Mercedes convertible and mortgage payments in exchange for using political influence to enrich and protect three New Jersey businessmen now I know what you're thinking when you hear New Jersey businessmen but we actually have a statement from one of these Executives everybody immediately assumes you're mobbed up it's a stereotype and it's offensive menendez's menendez's defense strategy has been to blame his wife a move known in legal circles as the Alo menendez's lawyers claim he did not have a key to his wife's locked closet where investigators discovered envelopes of cash and gold bars adding they lived Separate Lives yes they're two different people it's like that old Book Men Are from Mars women keep a locked closet full of gold now allegedly it's true right you ever read that you ever read that book allegedly Menendez pressured regulatory officials to stand back after one of his cronies was granted the sole right to certify that me exported to Egypt from the United States conformed to Islamic dietary requirements this whole story will be covered on the new crime drama Halal and Order swarm of victims units Kebab Kebab all this led one official to call Menendez a villain in an Egyptian meat controversy and you do not want to be the villain in an Egyptian meat controversy or for that matter the hero an Egyptian meat controversy I just stay clear of controversial meat in general now we're learning the FBI got the scoop on the Menendez is back in 2019 by spying on them meeting the Egyptian businessmen at the Morton Steakhouse a few blocks from the White House steakhouse is pretty public place to break the law but I guess Menendez was willing to brisk it I don't know why I don't even know why I'm looking over here one of menendez's attorneys has claimed there was nothing suspicious about this dinner because the senator was a regular at the steakhous going there 250 nights out of the year 250 nights a year at Morton Steakhouse the judge can skip the sentencing because what's happening to his colon is cruel and unusual punishment now for what it's worth for what it's worth ladies and gentlemen the FBI has seemed to enjoy this operation when a prosecutor asked one of the agents whether they had eaten during the stake out she replied I sure did it was good too the judge then interjected I hope the FBI paid for your meal to which the agent replied oh yes sir they did the agents got a free meal I guess that's why it's called a stake out oh this is important if you see people hoarding condoms at the CVS this weekend these aren't just your average condom collectors because yesterday Senate Republicans blocked a bill to protect access to contraception Senate Republicans are hypocrites how can they pretend to be so puritanical when we've all seen the Mitch McConnell tape you're welcome you're welcome you're welcome blocking Federal access to contraception isn't just dumb it's also wildly unpopular recent polls say 80% of Voters said access to contraception was deeply important to them the other 20% are your high school boyfriend who says condoms don't work anyway and you can't get pregnant in a hot tub that's just science the Democrats uh brought this bill and response to a threat to privacy rights posed by the Supreme Court and to get Republicans on the record over contraception now to Mark the occasion the advy group Americans for contraception unveiled a 20 foot inflatable IUD outside Union Station in DC pretty neat would have been even cooler if it danced around like those guys at the car wash you're going to feel a slight pinch we got a great show for you tonight [Applause] yay my guest is Julia Lou drus and then her performance by Hosier when we come back meanwhile join us want you [Music] [Music] a [Music]

Channel: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Views: 1,668,305

Keywords: The Late Show, Late Show, Stephen Colbert, Steven Colbert, Colbert, celebrity, celeb, celebrities, late night, talk show, comedian, comedy, CBS, joke, jokes, funny, funny video, funny videos, humor, hollywood, famous

Id: ouH3aBtTGTw

Length: 12min 35sec (755 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 07 2024