Trump Thinks He’s More Popular Than Taylor Swift, Senators Grill Social Media CEOs & Elmo Goes Viral

previously on Jimmy Kimmel Live I know a lot of you hating mother want me to fail but guess what it ain't happening you know why cuz I got a mother microwave on my head from Hollywood it's Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight Samuel L Jackson Jake Tapper at music from TR and AR Speedway with cleto and the ceto and now Jimmy [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Kimel I thank you for watching thank you for joining us here in the United States of America where uh you know what they say we're slipping here they say we we don't have the same Vitality we used to but guess what just when they start to count us out we get on our feet and we get right back on top and that's why I'm so pleased to announce that cases of syphilis in the United States have skyrocketed to the highest number since the 1950s that's right small victory but syphilis you know what syphilis is GMA yes it's a disease that you get with having sex yeah it's bacterial disease and GMO described it properly it can lead to paralysis hearing loss dementia and even believing you're still president three years after your L uh it's dous so don't get it in Washington today they held the annual lamb basting of the social media CEOs they do this just about every year the Senate Judiciary Committee they drag the heads of Facebook and Tik Tok and whatnot not into their Chambers and they yell at them on C-Span they make a Big Show and they send them on their way with no penalties whatsoever most of these senators are so old they honestly they they don't know how to work their garage door openers but they're there talking Tech with these Giants of the industry and um it doesn't stop people like Senator Kennedy of Louisiana from pontificating about Snapchat I'll see you hiding down there what ises y yada yada mean I'm not familiar with the term Senator very uncool and that is a dude who knows cool that's a really cool the idea was and it's don't get me wrong it's important the idea was they were there to protect children from the many Horrors they're subject to on social media but the Boos who are supposed to be doing the protecting for us are obviously completely out of their element there was a report recently uh that that compared hashtags on Instagram to hashtags on Tik Tac Tik [Applause] Tok oh Ted you blundering squid penis you it's just to be clear Tik Tock is a social media app Tic Tac is what the guy sitting next to your fish breath keeps begging you to chew okay at one point Senator Holly from the great state of indignation I think berated Mark Zuckerberg and I have to admit it was kind of fun to see a guy who's worth $140 billion trying to crawl into his shell there's families of victims here today have you apologized to the victims I would you like to do so now well they're here you're on National Television would you like now to apologize to the victims who have been harmed by your prodct show them the pictures would you like to apologize for what you've done to these good people I I I'm sorry for everything that you have all G through terrible no one should have to go through the things that your families have have suffered and this is why we invest so much and are going to continue doing industry-leading efforts to uh to make sure that no one has to go through the types of things that your families have had to suffer now can I go back to wind surfing at my Macadamia Farm it's a level of sincerity you usually can only get that on chat GPT but boy Mark Zuckerberg you know in New York now uh ruling is expected any day on how much Donald Trump's going to have to Shell out for the multi-million dollar fraud case he is uh he lost he could be on the hook for $370 million possibly more and last week of course he uh he was told to pay $84 million which means somebody's probably about to release a whole new batch of nft trading cards but it's very possible that in addition to the Fine Trump would be forced to stop doing business in New York which you know youd think getting caught running a fake University would have triggered that penalty already but Trump's legal bills are enormous and his dummies I mean his donors are paying for it his according to the New York Times Trump has used about $50 million worth of campaign contributions to cover his legal fees which is you know how much Jimmy Carter spent in legal fees his whole post presidency $458 in the meantime Trump is focused on this battle uh a battle against Taylor Swift Trump's campaign team has they've been working on ways to turn their cultural Warriors against Taylor Swift in the event she decides to endorse Joe Biden so I if you're a republican I guess enjoy her music while you still can before the Ayatollah complainy declares a fatwa a very fatwa on her I mentioned last night there's this bananas conspiracy idea that the nuts of cooked up that says Taylor Swift and Company rigged the NFL playoffs as part of an evil plan to reelect Joe Biden and Trump's taking this personally da West has been telling people he's more he's saying I'm more popular than Taylor Swift and my fans are more committed than hers which I have to say if Taylor Swift told her fans to storm the capital on January 6 they would have succeeded they would be running the country right now they would not have stopped to and why is he even thinking like this he's not running against Taylor Swift and who is he kidding he's more pop if Donald Trump held a rally at Sofi Stadium here in La they would still have enough empty seats to also hold a Taylor Swift concert that night and unlike your rallies her tickets aren't free people paid hundred even thousands of dollars to see her and that's just here in America how's your popularity in Tokyo and Singapore how's your popularity in gilsen Kirk and Germany because she's doing three nights at a soccer stadium there that holds over 62,000 people even though no one has ever heard of gilon Kirk in Germany it might not even exist Taylor Swift is so popular people want to watch her watching a football game the truth is you're not even the most popular Donald that's still a cartoon duck with a speech impediment and no pants on but this fight this fight he's about to pick with Taylor Swift this might be what does it you it won't be January 6 it won't be the election fraud or the sexual assault or dancing with Jeffrey Epstein or even fathering Don Jr what is finally what's finally going to bring down Donald Trump will be an army of pissed off swifties and that's and you know if he wasn't so jealous maybe he might even enjoy Taylor's music I mean so many of her songs seem like they were written specifically for him uh don't blame me you need to calm down is it over now now that we don't talk Karma red We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together you're on your own kid anti-hero and of course his all-time favorite which is is me yeah you know on Monday this was interesting even though it shouldn't have been interesting it turned out to be interesting Elmo from Sesame Street posted the following question on Twitter Elmo's checking in how's everybody doing and for whatever reason everybody wanted Elmo to know how they were doing the Tweet has more than 180 million views tens of thousands of responses people started posting deeply personal replies but it's incred people won't talk to their husbands or and wives they'll spill their guts to the first Muppet who tweets even President Biden responded he or or someone in his office who knows how to use the phone wrad I know how hard it is some days to sweep the clouds away and get to sunnier days our friend Elmo is right we have to be there for each other offer our help to a neighbor in need and above all else ask for help but we need it even though it's hard you're never alone so which means first of all is beautiful but it also means the president has entered the speaking sincerely to puppet stage of his golden years and I don't know what happened I mean Elmo isn't Elmo 3 he's what is he doing on Twitter in the first place where are his parents and then all the Sesame Street characters chimed in Bert chimed in Bert wrote I'm here if you ever need a shoulder to lean on I'll make us both a warm cup no he won't I know Bert I grew up with Bert he's not making anybody a cup of tea Ernie probably got on his phone and tweeted it to screw with them all the Sesame Street characters got involved even Oscar uh this was very sweet Oscar wrote um I always liked Oscar the best but the guy that were the kid or the monster or whatever uh it is who started this was Elmo so I thought it might be nice since he checked in with us to check in with Elmo and um just to see how he is doing oh my after all of this Elmo hey can we get somebody to um look in on oh my god oh my god well please send in the EMT will you oh there we go okay great that's he should be fine I tell you what I I remember a day when all that little freak wanted was to be tickled you know we do our show right smack in the middle of Hollywood Boulevard which is a magnet for tourists from all over the world and uh with that said we' like to do from time to time we like to play something a game called Foreigner or not and GMO is um he's not he ISO is a full-fledged American citizen he's out on Hollywood Boulevard how's it out there it's warm right yes Jimmy it's very warm it's nice it's nice it was freezing cold like 10 days ago and raining all the time and now it's warm yeah it's beautiful what do you make of that GMO I don't know Jimmy just crazy weather Jimmy yeah all right well you know I heard you'd had a couple of drinks tonight is that true I did Jimmy I had like almost three CHS of tequila oh yes almost three what do you decided you know at two and three4 you said you know what I gotta be on yeah I I'll save the all the little one foot next after the show all right so gam you know how the game works we meet a pedestrian we've instructed them not to speak and then using nothing more than my Keen powers of observation I will attempt to sus out if that person is a foreigner or not so let's meet our first visitor um guo bringing our first visitor again this gentleman is not allowed to speak uh and he is um you know you look very menacing uh with your arm behind your back like that but he is um he's got a a flag that will indicate what country he is from and uh well what's your name okay so he can't either he doesn't understand anything I'm saying or he's following the rules very closely you do look like a human Joanne Fabric Store okay he does understand English and he seems to know the Joanne Fabric reference so oh my gosh oh wait a minute holy moly I don't know if you're from this planet to be honest okay I'm going to say you are not a foreigner what is it I'm from rotting Dean in the UK oh wow you sure are holy cow you're shaking that flag so hard I couldn't even see it are you here on vacation right now oh um I'm here because my partner and our colleague Annie have been nominated for a Grammy is that true yes wow best recording package for a band called dry cleaning and what is that um big clump of metal you have down there around yes oh it's all different uh key Rings yeah from different places and yet no keys and no uh one key from where we're staying okay all right well you stump me and we have a little gift for you welcome to our country and gearmo has for you an American apple pie have you have of those thank you very much all right thank you for playing all right let's see if I can get back on track here all right our next all right hi there okay again she's following the rules or she doesn't understand what I'm saying okay all right so we have a young lady here looks to be about uh late 20s probably mid 20s dressed in oatmeal from head to toe oh okay now hold on a second go back down for a moment okay now all right I'm thinking if you were from La you would know not to where sandals on Hollywood Boulevard okay that's that's not a uh all right all right I am going to say that you are not a foreigner I'm a [Music] foreigner oh I where are you from what is that is that a real flag or did you make it up no I'm from Namibia you're from Namibia yeah I'm going to have to see some identification what do you do for work in Namibia oh I'm actually a student you are what are you studying I'm education okay we're going to get you a pie and some shoes because uh you cannot walk around you're going to get like a hypodermic needle in your thank you all right all right thank you for playing I don't like you know I don't like when I lose I got to get one all right all right all right all right now oh now I'm hoping this guy's not one of us but all right I know where you're from you're from 2007 is that when the fallout boy grows up to be a Fallout man all right wow okay oh the shoes are pretty regular pants regular tattoos could be anything oh he's got a Paramore tattoo okay all right I'm going to say you're an American are you you are correct I'm you are an American where are you from uh East LA you're from East LA yep all right well go back there all right let me give you a price no no thank you for playing and even though you've had one before we've we got you a delicious freshly bought apple pie thank you so much thank you playing harder or [Applause] not

Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

Views: 2,256,147

Keywords: jimmy, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, late night, talk show, funny, comedic, comedy, clip, comedian, mean tweets, Monologue, Guillermo, Hollywood, Los Angeles, West Coast, Donald Trump, Trump, STD, Syphilis, Social Media, CEO’s, Ted Cruz, Mark Zuckerberg, TikTok, Taylor Swift, Swifties, Elmo, Twitter, Sesame Street, Joe Biden, Game Show, Foreigner or Not, Hollywood Boulevard

Id: vxB3ICPeb0o

Length: 16min 16sec (976 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 01 2024