Trump Rants About Windmills & DeSantis, the Case of Curious George Santos & MyPillow Mike is Coming!

foreign I don't know I spent the whole day watching football yesterday uh you know the the matchup for Super Bowl 57 is set the Philadelphia Eagles will play the Kansas City Chiefs in Phoenix Arizona the Eagles dominated the uh short-handed San Francisco 49ers yesterday Niners I don't know if you watch it they started the game with this rookie Sensations kid Brock Purdy he started the season a third Stringer so then he got hurt in the game they brought in a fourth string quarterback Josh Johnson and then he got her they were this close to bringing in whichever cheerleader had the strongest arm but they lost after the game fans in Philadelphia took to the streets to celebrate the way Philly fans celebrate loudly and drunken Landing climbed on street signs they were up on the street lights they climbed onto um I'm not sure what that is but they were on it and on a bus stop they went right through the yeah the Eagles were led by Jalen hurts their quarterback who may well win a Super Bowl but will not I think it's safe to say he will not be winning American Idol anytime soon fly eagles fly on a road to Victory Fly Eagles Fly go and turn down one two three yeah not uh great but have you ever seen Adele try to throw a spiral terrible over on the AFC side Kansas City had the Mahone field advantage they beat the Bengals for the last second field goal after a very dumb penalty but the big loser of the day was the mayor of Cincinnati who before the game issued some ill-advised trash talk from City Hall the Cincinnati Bengals are headed to burrowhead stadium for their second consecutive AFC Championship Game Joseph Lee burrow who's 3-0 against Mahomes has been asked by officials to take a paternity test to confirming whether or not he's his father I don't even know what that joke means to be honest but it may have been the most embarrassing moment ever for a mayor of Cincinnati and keep in mind Jerry Springer was mayor of Cincinnati but as a result of that the Mayor found himself on the receiving end of a message from Chiefs All-Pro Travis Kelsey I have some wise words for that Cincinnati mayor Know Your Role shut your mouth [Applause] [Laughter] first time I ever heard anyone quote The Beastie Boys and the Iron Sheik in one sentence this is interesting Travis Kelsey is going to be playing against his brother in the Super Bowl so the older brother Jason plays center for the Eagles it's the first time two brothers have ever competed in the Super Bowl against each other which that has got to be tough for their parents I mean no matter who wins they got to take them both to Disneyland right it's I just said I tell him I'd sit him down and say listen boys whoever wins uh is the son we love more and that's that that's how Trump does it you know Donald Trump was back on the campaign Trail this weekend Ylvis was in New Hampshire and South Carolina you know we make a lot of fun of Donald Trump because he's a fool but but one thing you would say about him he really has his finger on the pulse of this country he knows what your average Joe cares about what Americans want most from our leaders right now is for somebody to do something about these accursed windmills we demand windmills be built on our oceans we demand they go in our prairies our mountains and our planes we're going wind till it's kill all the birds they're killing all our Eagles they're not Birds you know if you go out hunting and you happen to shoot a bald eagle they put you in jail like for five years right but the windmills knock out thousands of them nothing happens they kill thousands of them with these windmills nothing happens and the wind turbines are all made in China he's literally done hote he is not it's not even a metaphor anymore he's battling windmills I mean I guess if I had a comb over like that I wouldn't like windmills either but too much Trump also warned that if Ron DeSantis runs for president he would consider it to be a great Act of disloyalty ain't no loyalty means everything to the guy who cheated on his third wife with a porn star and thought it might be cool to hang his vice president but he uh he was on a roll he called the National Archives a radical left organization with their extremist left-wing antifa agenda of collecting and preserving government documents as required by law think about this if your grandfather wandered around shouting about killer windmills in Marxist Librarians you'd send them to a place right you'd take away his car keys and Trump also bragged about his dealings with the Taliban with whom he's apparently on a first name basis Abdul Abdul the head of the Taliban I called him and he said Abdul you're killing a lot of our people don't do what I do I said Abdul don't don't do it Abdul but I said Abdul don't do it 50 chance he called Paula Abdul accidentally right nice I have to say watching him out there campaigning again it's kind of sad it's the political equivalent of when Michael Jordan went to play for the wizards but Trump's out there making speeches and now even running ads the FBI guy after me for the russia-russia Russia hoax long before my election as president was just arrested for taking money from Russia Russia Russia may he rot in hell hey you know sometimes I can't get over how much he reminds me of Abraham Lincoln he's so in Congress right now the case of Curious George Santos gets curious or every day we learn over the weekend uh we learned that more than a dozen of the top donors to his campaign don't exist and even more shocking some of the donors do exist but how this guy's still walking around the house I don't know this is like the movie Catch Me If You Can if in the first five minutes Tom Hanks caught him but there are so many questions and George Santos is doing his very best not to answer any of them Mr Santa you listed the wrong name of a Treasurer why did you list the wrong name of your Treasurer on your campaign Finance forums I'll have a conversation with you when you become a better artist reporter I'm asking you directly I have to say strong move hiring Bobby bigface to block the cameras this guy's good he's one of the best but George Santos is literally running he's got more yards than Walter Payton right now and he's also trying to ingratiate himself to the reporters who are waiting in the hall all day by almost every day bringing them some kind of baked good guys how are you I just wanted to put some cupcakes out for you guys I just bought these in for you guys I just put them in the containers because they were neater but they're for you guys all right thank you yeah don't know that's how the witch got Hansel and Gretel do not eat eat those cupcakes and here's the best moment the one question the one question George Santos decided to stop and answer was this Congressman Santos who do you think is going to win drag race this season I have not watched the season of drag race we had a great reply I have no you gotta you gotta read up let's see well at least now we know how to get his attention maybe RuPaul can get some answers out of this the only way any of this makes sense is if George Santos turns out to be Sasha Baron Cohen buddy Mr my pillow Mike Lindell had a disappointing weekend Mike this weekend he threw his name in the ring to be named chair of the Republican National Committee like the one individual in America besides president Trump of course against the corrupt Democrat apparatus that demands fealty to the machines I proudly nominate Mike Lindell for RNC chair sadly she was almost alone Mike lost his bid to become chair of the 167 votes cast Mike got four which is five more than I expected he would get he was defeated bigly by the incumbent Ronald McDaniel even though according to erasmussen poll 30 percent of Republican voters wanted him to run the Republican fundraising effort and a hundred percent of Democrats wanted him to run the Republican fundraising Africa this is tough news for Mike but things are about to get better you know Mike has repeatedly asked to come on this show and I've repeatedly invited him to appear on the show under one condition and the condition is that he lets me interview him from inside a claw machine you know the claw machines they have the arcade the claw comes down well I said if you get in one of those I'll do the interview and good news looks like it's happening tomorrow night um the cloud game and this is the one stipulation I said I don't mind getting inside of a claw game okay in fact you know back in the day you cream the cloth thing you know everybody probably thought hey this would be cool to be inside of a claw game right you know if probably who has probably done that this will be kind of interesting for me on something I haven't done all right yeah so it'll be a new experience you know that's what we do here at Jimmy Kimmel Live we make dreams come true although there is according to Mike there is one condition you better tell me if you're gonna put stuff in there here what's going to be in that claw game you know what I mean you know what I'm saying I don't want anything that uh um I don't know what would be evil you know whatever the call game doesn't need to be branding some kind of uh you know kind of evil thing so you're exactly right right I promise Mike I promise we won't put evil things in the claw machine no pentagrams no talismans no there will be there's going to be one satanic Rottweiler in there but otherwise it'll just be you in a colorful assortment of plush animals and plastic eggs so tomorrow night the my pillow man will be squeezed inside an arcade claw machine uh for an and there it is that's the one he's going in this is how we begin our 21st year of I finally found my purpose you know last week we celebrated our 20th anniversary which is uh thank you a long time and I do want to say we couldn't have done any of it without you you are the butane that keeps the Zippo lighter going and so tonight is a token of our appreciation we wanted to give something back to our audience to thank you for 20 incredible years Johnny Carson David Letterman Magic Johnson the most beloved talk show host of all time but none have had the distinction of being minted in precious metal until now American trinket manufacturers presents the Jimmy Kim alive 20th anniversary commemorative coin at least one of a kind coin is forged from 23 sterling silver 46 melted carpet nails and 31 aluminum foil on the front a stunning portrait of Jimmy Kimmel has drawn by free AI software on the flip side a Chuck E cheese token logo unable to remove as Network television disappears into a hellscape of streaming services and foreign pornography the value of your chemical coin will only increase or maybe even even yours for a one-time payment of 799 dollars or four monthly payments of 399 order your Jimmy Kimmel Live 20th Anniversary coin today at www.givejimmykimmel yourmoney.com or call now to speak to one of our sexy Representatives what are you asking me that for what are you asking me what I'm wearing [Music] anniversary commemorative coin it's not technically worthless available at Walgreens I want it to be a surprise [Applause]

Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

Views: 1,758,172

Keywords: jimmy, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, late night, talk show, funny, comedic, comedy, clip, comedian, mean tweets, Monologue, Guillermo, Hollywood, Los Angeles, West Coast, Super Bowl, Football, Philadelphia Eagles, Kansas City Chiefs, Jalen Hurts, Cincinnati Mayor, Travis Kelce, Donald Trump, Trump, Windmills, Ron Desantis, Truth Social, George Santos, My Pillow Guy, Mike Lindell

Id: buMrmQFz7c0

Length: 13min 7sec (787 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 31 2023