Trump is Only MENTALLY Ill Now

i'm jimmy i'm the host thanks for watching thank you for joining us from the home of the nba champion los angeles lakers the lakers closed out the weirdest season ever last night by hammering the miami heat and celebrating the way only people in a bubble can and that's it it's over this historic 2020 nba championship belongs to the los angeles lakers the lakers conquer the bubble and bannon number 17 will soon hang in the rafters it's weird to see people hug right it's like it was strange watching this i had to reintroduce the concept of joy to my system it's um it was a huge victory for the lakers not only they win their 17th nba title to tie the celtics for most by a franchise all time they were also able to get home in time for taco tuesday tomorrow which i know is a big deal for lebron i wonder now if the players will have trouble adjusting to life outside the bubble i mean you know what went on orlando was a very controlled environment everyone was tested every day nobody was allowed to like come in leave they were very careful the players even celebrated carefully in the locker room [Applause] big weird size bottles of purell it's that's called celebrating responsibly folks after the pure liberation some of the players sat to talk to reporters one of those was lakers forward kyle kuzma who seemed to be filled with kyle boosma what does this feel like this moment yeah this is uh this is everything um i it's still sitting in um like i'm half drunk right now i'm all the champagne so i don't know how to act exactly but um man yeah man is my shirt on because i'm seeing drawings all over my body guillermo described the scene at your house last night you watched the game i assume yes jimmy was screaming we were happy you met the lakers one you and your wife and your son and my mother-in-law my father-in-law oh brother-in-law yes oh and your brother-in-law yes oh so the hell with the cove with the quarantine right yeah it was the final you know uh-huh all right are you still drunk no no no no there's something going on with them right you know usually we'd be getting ready for a big parade right now but because the pandemic we can't do that so instead everybody's gonna just uh drive by lebron's house and wave like when like your co-workers 60th birthday some fans celebrated safely last night this guy this is for real showed up in a plastic bubble he died but others are our mayor here in l.a eric garcetti asked fans he said please do not gather downtown or near the staples center so of course everyone gathered downtown and near the staples center crowds couldn't help it they wanted to be out here unfortunately though it did get out of hand and police declared a citywide tactical alert just after eight o'clock last night about 75 to 80 people were arrested for a multitude of charges including refusal to disperse vandalism assault with a deadly weapon on an officer and looting and we are hearing at least one metro bus was attacked even set on fire various businesses broken into and vandalized including a 7-eleven and a starbucks also quite a bit of graffiti scene here downtown yeah so we still have some work to do in the celebration department um so now with a 17th nba title and a fourth win for lebron the lakers already are the early favorites to win another title next season which starts a new season new nba season starts tomorrow did you know that so back on the horse by the way i'd like to wish a happy thanksgiving to those of you watching us from above tonight no not heaven canada today is canadian thanksgiving canadians have a lot to be thankful for primarily they're not us today also happens to be uh indigenous people's day and columbus day in 1492 christopher columbus discovered america the same way hipsters discovered pour over coffee not really but he gets a day for it our president though is a big supporter of columbus state he and christopher columbus actually have a lot in common they both spread disease and both failed spectacularly at what they were hired to do our our contaminator in chief was in florida tonight he had a big masterless rally he says the doctors gave him the okay to do it that's good news though it's it'll be nice to get back to having a president who's only mentally ill trump was on uh the tucker carlson show on friday night for what they were billing as a virtual medical exam it was not that but the president did treat the friday night fox crowd to a brief guided tour of his body where do you think you got the virus at what point do you think you contracted it looking back you know i don't know they had some big events at the white house and uh uh perhaps there i don't really know nobody really knows for sure numerous people have contracted it but you know people have contracted it all over the world it's highly contagious that's one thing you learn this is a contagious disease that is one thing you learn about this contagious disease is that it's it's contagious you know the president has been very cagey about whether he's tested negative yet but whether he's negative or not doesn't matter because his new thing is he's got immunity trump uh dialed up maria bartromo yesterday to explain he no longer has anything to worry about you're no longer considered a transmission risk does this suggest you no longer have kovitz sir yes and not only that it seems like i'm immune so i can go way out of a basement which i would have done anyway in which i did because you have to run a country you have to get out of the basement and it looks like i'm immune for i don't know maybe a long time and maybe a short time it could be a lifetime nobody really knows but i'm immune for donald trump heard immunity means he heard someone on twitter say he was immune maria didn't call bs that's not her style but the folks at twitter did they flagged this tweet trump posted a total and complete sign-off from white house doctors yesterday that means i can't get it immune and can't give it very nice to know very nice yes can't get it and can't give it is also the arrangement melania has with the president and but that tweet got flagged for violating twitter's rules against spreading misleading and potentially harmful information but go on mr president tell us more about how invincible you are i pass the highest test to highest standards and i'm in great shape and i have to tell you i feel fantastically i really feel good and i even feel good by the fact that you know the word immunity means something having having really a protective glow means something i think it's very important to have that yeah it is very important it's not a protective glow though that that is hawaiian tropics mango scented tanning moose that you're seeing if it sounds like trump is trying to position himself as some kind of superhero now listen to this the failing new york times reported that when he got out of the hospital last week he wanted to put on a show his plan he floated this idea to several people was to walk out of the hospital appearing to be frail and then he would tear off his button-down shirt to reveal a superman logo underneath this is not a joke this is what he wanted to do whoever talked him out of this i like to bang you right on the head because i mean first of all we would we've gotten to see some top-notch acting as when trump was trying was pretending to be frail then he would have had to rip the shirt open and good luck getting those buttons undone with the those nubby little baby carrot fingers he has and then what would happen when he reveals the s on his chest would would the country erupt in applause what does he have met most likely he would try to fly and wet his pants or something but who thinks like this the man of steel the election is getting back on the road after um florida tonight he's scheduled to host rallies in pennsylvania and iowa this week he supposedly wants to be out on the campaign trail every day from now until november 3rd he's desperate he's trailing bigly in the polls but he did pick up a major endorsement over the weekend from none other than the taliban that's right that a spokesman for the taliban said we believe that trump is going to win the upcoming election because he has proved himself a politician who accomplished all the major promises he'd made to the american people although he might have missed some small things but did accomplish the bigger promises so it is possible that the u.s people who experience deceptions in the past will once again trust trump for his decisive actions the trump campaign rejected the endorsement from the taliban i wonder how that went down though you know other than groups like sheriffs for shooting looters and mullets for jesus trump doesn't get a lot of endorsements and he also loves people who love him it's really his only criteria so when that endorsement from the taliban came in my guess is his campaign team was like don't even tell him about it just reject it reject it if he's mad we will deal with this later but the taliban is fantastic on saturday fatty lupone gave another evita style performance from his balcony he spoke to a group of mostly black and latino supporters who assembled hilariously on the white house lawn they're part of a group called blexit which is supposed to be a group of black people who support trump the truth is these are people who were paid to be at the event they had their travel expenses covered in exchange for showing up putting on the t-shirt trump spoke only for 18 minutes but he did make sure to bring up his favorite thing to say whenever he sees a black person the fact is that i've done more for the black community than any president since abraham lincoln i say it nobody can dispute it nobody can dispute it nobody could do everyone get disputed john wilkes booth would dispute it okay he does seem to believe that he's very popular with the black community on the campaign trail in 2016 he said at the end of the four year four years i guarantee you i will get over 95 of the african-american vote i promise you well we're at the end of those four years and we wanted to put his guarantee to the test so we sent a camera crew out on hollywood boulevard to pull african-american passers-by to see if we can find anyone who will be supporting trump at the ballot box next month trump said that he was going to get 95 of the african-american vote uh as a black man uh are you voting for trump i absolutely am not absolutely i would not hell no no probably not i can't vote for a racist hell no no no i'm not am i voting for trump yeah no no i'm not hell no no not at all hell no no absolutely not no not voting for trump hell no no i'm not voting for trump absolutely not is that a baby yeah this is this is a baby and that baby with trump against trump against definitely um trump i don't know no no i'm not voting for trump no i ain't gonna vote for trump no i'm not voting for trump hey i know i ain't voting for that dude are you crazy no hell no he's not getting my vote no absolutely not no sir do you know any black people who are voting for i don't know any you don't know anything not no coworkers no co-workers you got uncles and aunties saying they go vote for trump no mama voting for trump daddy voting for trump no friends from church voting for trump no sir i remember trump and wwe to me that's what he's still doing he's still under the apprentice he's still this is a reality show he's still acting apart does anybody ever tell you that you sound like obama unfortunately yes you can't pay me a million dollars i'm not voting for trump would you vote for trump for a million dollars no uh what about applebee's gift card no free wi-fi free wi-fi would be nice no wi-fi cellular data brother i absolutely do not believe he's gonna get 95 of the vote because i don't know a black man or a black woman that that is going to vote for donald trump and i am immersed in black people you ain't got a single black man not a dog not a black cat not a black dog not a black kid bull is going to vote for donald trump [Music] [Applause] i am dr obama and i approve this good all right all right maybe maybe not 95. back to the lakers you know before uh the finals started i made a bet with miami heat superfan dj khaled uh if the heat won i would have to send him my 1980s donkey kong junior arcade game which i love and if i if i won he would have to give me one of his beloved jet skis and it's time now to pay the piper hello dj khaled how are you good night well first go ahead go ahead condolences on how the finals turned out for your team but congratulations to me you know i mean so congratulations to you congratulations to kobe gigi uh king james the entire lakers los angeles congrats um it was a beautiful inspiring finals and congrats to the miami heat you know we'll be right back you're saying we're coming right back at it jimmy you know saying you got this one you got this one whatever for you i'm a man of my words but get you a 2020 c do jet ski and i'm gonna sign it and i'm gonna i'm gonna make sure they they deliver it to you and listen let's go you guys i know you got a brand new jet ski and that's very nice of you i've decided i don't want a jet ski but what i would like to do we are going to donate the jet ski to the overtown youth center which i know is an organization you support they provide services to at-risk youth in miami we reached out to overtown they're going to auction the jet ski off on ebay and use the proceeds to help run the center so if you want a bid to own this brand new dj khaled jet ski which is really my jet ski now but go to this website blessupjetsky.com we made it especially for you and khaled you are going to sign and i appreciate you being such a good sport and giving up the jet ski and also the kind words to the lakers and i know how much these jet skis mean to you so we put together a little song for you to look at whenever you got lonely roll that for khalid [Music] oh my god oh my god oh my god yo the key is to drive your jet ski in the dark very wise words from dj khaled thank you khaled we got it and let you check out my podcast it's going down october 15th on amazon it's gonna be big it's going to be legendary oh good podcast and i'm talking to all the icons biggest musicians out there jimmy thank you so much i love you and get ready for that calacatta album i don't know when it's coming but it's coming okay good all right we'll be ready for it thank you dj khaled we'll be back hi i'm jimmy kimmel i hope you enjoyed that video hit subscribe and all your dreams will come true assuming your dreams are to watch more youtube videos

Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

Views: 2,222,147

Keywords: jimmy, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, late night, talk show, funny, comedic, comedy, clip, comedian, mean tweets, Pandemic, Coronavirus, COVID-19, Social Distancing, Quarantine, Monologue, Trump, Donald Trump, POTUS, NBA Champion, Los Angeles Lakers, Miami Heat, NBA Finals, NBA Bubble, Kyle Kuzma, Guillermo, Lebron James, Eric Garcetti, Staples Center, Canadian Thanksgiving, Tucker Carlson, Trump immunity, New York Times, Purrell, MOS, Hollywood Blvd, Man on the Street, Vote

Id: 6JwS6QxqXTc

Length: 16min 2sec (962 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 12 2020