YOU'RE PAYING ATTENTION TO THE NEWS OR NOT. BUT IT WAS AN ALL CAPS KIND OF DAY FOR THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES TODAY. THIS IS WHAT HE TWEETED THIS AFTERNOON. THIS WILL GIVE YOU A SENSE OF WHAT'S GOING ON. I JUST GOT IMPEACHED FOR MAKING A PERFECT PHONE CALL! I ONLY WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE WHEN HE POUNDED THAT OUT. WHEN HE MASHED THOSE STUMPY PINK LITTLE THUMBS INTO HIS PHONE LIKE HE WAS KILLING LITTLE BUGS OR SOMETHING. THIS IS BY THE WAY IS WHAT HE'S TWEETING BEFORE THE TRIAL STARTS. I THINK WE HAVE A LOT TO LOOK FORWARD TO. THE IMPEACHMENT TRIAL STARTS TUESDAY. AND THERE ARE SPECIFIC RULES FOR HOW THIS WILL GO. LAST TIME IT HAPPENED NO ONE HAD PHONES. THIS TIME SENATORS WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO USE THEIR PHONES DURING THE TRIAL. AND THEY WILL HAVE TO STAND WHEN THEY CAST VOTES WHICH AS BILL DEAL. FOR A LOT OF THESE SENATORS THIS WILL BE THE FIRST TIME THEY'VE EVER STOOD FOR ANYTHING. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: TODAY IT ALL BEGAN -- THANK YOU. CHIEF JUSTICE JOHN ROBERTS WAS SWORN IN TODAY BY THE SENATE PRESIDENT PRO TEM, WHO DID NOT MAKE ME FEEL OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THE REPUBLICAN-CONTROLLED SENATE'S DARE DESIRE TO CONDUCT A A FAIR AND IMPARTIAL TRIAL. >> DO YOU SOLEMNLY SWEAR YOU WILL UPHOLD IMPARTIAL JUSTICE, EVEN THOUGH WE ALL KNOW THAT HE'S GUILTY AS [ BLEEP ]? COME ON, GUYS, ADMIT IT. WE ALL KNOW HE'S A TREASONOUS LITTLE POWER SLUT. BUT THAT WON'T MATTER. BECAUSE YOU WILL EXAMINE THE EVIDENCE, YADA, YADA, BINGO, BOINGO, IN THREE WEEKS HE'LL BE BACK TO RANTING ABOUT FLUSHING TOILETS AND WINDMILLS CAUSING CANCER, SO HELP YOU GOD? >> I DO. >> Jimmy: THERE WE HAVE IT. THE CHIEF JUSTICE HAS A TOUGH JOB. HE'S IN CHARGE OF THE PROCEEDINGS BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY ACTUAL POWER. WE'LL SEE. WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF JOHN ROBERTS JUST STOOD UP AND SAID, I'M THE CHIEF JUSTICE AND WE'RE GOING TO HAVE JUSTICE, DAMMIT, ANYBODY GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, YOU SON OF A MITCH? I USED TO HAVE SEXUAL FANTASIES, NOW ALL I HAVE IS THIS. BOMBSHELLS ARE STILL FALLING FROM THE SKIES THANKS TO ONE OF RUDY GIULIANI'S UKRAINIAN DIRT DIGGERS. LEV PARNAS SAT DOWN WITH RACHEL MADDOW TO SPILL THE BORCHT. AMONG OTHER THINGS LEV PARNAS TOLD RACHEL MADDOW HE RELAYED A MESSAGE ON BEHALF OF RUDY GIULIANI AND THE PRESIDENT TO THE PRESIDENT OF UKRAINE THAT SAID THE U.S. WOULD STOP ALL AID IF THEY DID NOT ANNOUNCE AN INVESTIGATION INTO THE BIDENS AND POINTED OUT IF HE HADN'T BEEN SENT BY TRUMP AS THEY CLAIM, WHY WOULD UKRAINIAN OFFICIALS HAVE MET WITH THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE? PARNAS SAID EVERYONE IN TRUMP'S INNER ESSENTIAL KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON, MIKE PENCE, JOHN BOLTON, THE ATTORNEY GENERAL WILLIAM BARR. PROBABLY EVEN KANYE KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON. PARNAS EVEN WROTE MIKE PENCE'S BROTHER GREG INTO THE MESS. WHO KNEW MIKE PENCE EVEN HAD A BROTHER GREG. >> WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MEN INACCURACY OR THE MAINLY THAT'S BEING TOLD THAT YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN CORRECT? >> THAT THE PRESIDENT DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON. PRESIDENT TRUMP KNEW EXACTLY WHAT WAS GOING ON. HE WAS AWARE OF ALL MY MOVEMENTS. I WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT THE CONSENT OF RUDY GIULIANI OR THE PRESIDENT. >> Jimmy: THERE HE IS, THE SMOKING GOON, IT'S RIGHT THERE. HE SAID HE SPENT FOUR OR FIVE DAYS A WEEK WITH RUDY GIULIANI. THIS DOES NOT LOOK GOOD FOR RUDY. THEN AGAIN, NEITHER DO HIS TEETH. >> IN TERMS OF THE PRESIDENT AND WHAT HE HAS SAID ABOUT YOU, HE SAID ABOUT YOU AND MR. FRUMAN, IGOR FRUMAN, I DON'T KNOW THOSE GENTLEMAN, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THEM, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY DO. YOU'RE SAYING THAT WAS NOT A TRUE STATEMENT ABOUT THE PRESIDENT? >> HE LIED. I MEAN, WE'RE NOT TRENDS. WHEN YOU SAY FRIENDS, ME AND HIM DIDN'T WATCH FOOTBALL GAMES TOGETHER, WE DIDN'T EAT HOT DOGS, BIT HE KNEW EXACTLY WHO WE WERE, HE KNEW EXACTLY WHO I WAS, ESPECIALLY. >> Jimmy: IN UKRAINE THE TRUEST TEST OF FRIENDSHIP IS WHETHER OR NOT YOU EAT HOT DOGS. THAT WAS LAST NIGHT. THIS MORNING KELLYANNE CONWAY FOUND HERSELF IN THE UNUSUAL POSITION OF BEING GRILLED BY FOX NEWS. >> WHAT IS THE WHITE HOUSE'S POSITION ON HIS ALLEGATIONS THAT ARE NOW PUBLIC? >> WELL, REMEMBER, PEOPLE WHO GO ON TV ARE NEVER UNDER OATH. HE WAS ARRESTED AND THEN INDICTED -- >> ARE YOU SAYING FLAT OUT, 100%, WHAT HE ALLEGES IS NOT TRUE? YES OR NO. >> WHEN LEV PARNAS SAYS, SPEAKING OF A COURT OF LAW, THE PRESIDENT KNEW ALL OF MY MOVES, HE GAVE CONSENT, OBJECTION, YOU CANNOT SAY WHAT SOMEBODY ELSE KNEW OR THOUGHT. >> IS HE LYING OR NOT, KELLYANNE? >> WELL, HE'S A PROVEN LIAR, HE'S BEEN INDICTED. >> IT'S A YES OR NO QUESTION, TRUMP KNEW EXACTLY WHAT WAS GOING ON, SAID LEV PARNAS, AND WE'RE ASKING IS THAT STATEMENT TRUE OR FALSE? >> TRUMP KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON HOW? WHAT IS LEV PARNAS ACTUALLY SAYING? >> Jimmy: IF I WAS HER I'D JUST RUN. [ LAUGHTER ] I'D TURN AROUND, I'D START RUNNING, I WOULDN'T STOP TILL I GOT TO DISNEY WORLD. SHE IS STICKING WITH TRUMP TILL THE END. LEV PARNAS SAYS UNEQUIVOCALLY TRUMP KNOWS HIM, KNEW WHAT HE WAS UP TO. TODAY THE PRESIDENT SUGGESTED OTHERWISE. >> I DON'T KNOW HIM, I NEVER HAD A CONVERSATION THAT I REMEMBER WITH HIM, I DON'T KNOW HIM, I DON'T KNOW PARNAS, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THIS MAN IS, I DON'T KNOW HIM, PERHAPS HE'S A FINE MAN, PERHAPS HE'S NOT, I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HIM, I DON'T KNOW HIM, I DON'T BELIEVE I'VE EVER SPOKEN TO HIM, I DON'T KNOW HIM AT ALL, DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S ABOUT, DON'T KNOW WHERE HE COMES FROM, KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HIM. >> Jimmy: HE KNOWS EVERYTHING AND NOTHING ALL AT THE SAME TIME. PARNAS ALSO NAME DROPPED ANOTHER TEAM TRUMPER WHO HAPPENS TO BE THE RANKING MEMBER OF THE HOUSE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE, DEVIN NUNES, WHO DID EVERYTHING HE COULD TO DERAIL THE IMPEACHMENT HEARING, PREVIOUSLY CLAIMED HE COULD NOT RECALL IF HE'D HAD A CONVERSATION WITH LEV PARNAS ON HIS PERSONAL CELL PHONE, BUT THEN LAST NIGHT AFTER PARNAS TOLD RACHEL MADDOW THAT NUNES WAS PERSONALLY INVOLVED, MAGICALLY HE REMEMBERED THE CALL. >> SO WE ALSO TALKED BACK THEN ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOUR PHONE NUMBER SHOWED UP WITH CALLS TO HIM, TO LEV PARNAS, IN A LIST OF DATA NUMBERS. YOU SAID THAT YOU DIDN'T RECALL SPEAKING WITH HIM. OR WHETHER IT WAS ON YOUR CELL PHONE OR YOUR OFFICE PHONE. HAVE YOU FIGURED OUT THE ANSWER TO ANY OF THOSE QUESTIONS? >> YEAH, IF YOU RECALL THAT WAS BRAND-NEW WHEN THAT CAME OUT, I JUST DIDN'T KNOW THE NAME, THIS NAME PAR-NAS. >> Jimmy: SEE, HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE THE NAME PAR-NAS. I MEAN, THERE ARE A LOT OF PAR-NASSES OUT THERE, IS HE SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER ALL OF THEM? CALL RECORDS SHOW MULTIPLE CALLS BETWEEN THE TWO. ONCE THEY SPOKE FOR 8 1/2 MINUTES. I DON'T SPEAK TO MY MOTHER FOR 8 1/2 MINUTES. THE WHOLE SCENARIO FEELS LIKE "THE SOPRANOS." EXCEPT ORGANIZED CRIME IT'S VERY DISORGANIZED. LEV PARNAS, WHAT AN INTERESTING CHARACTER. RUDY GIULIANI CALLED HIM A PROVEN LIAR, EVEN THOUGH NOT ONLY DID HE WORK FOR RUDY GIULIANI, RUDY'S GODFATHER TO HIS CHILD. BUT I DON'T THINK HE WAS HAPPY TO SEE HIS FORMER FRIEND ON TV LAST NIGHT. >> BASICALLY, I MEAN, I WAS WITH RUDY MORE THAN, I MEAN, FOUR, FIVE DAYS OUT OF THE WEEK. I WAS IN CONSTANT CONTACT WITH HIM. AND I WAS WITH RUDY WHEN HE WOULD SPEAK TO THE PRESIDENT. I INTERACTED WITH HIM AT A LOT OF EVENTS. I HAD A LOT OF ONE-ON-ONE CONVERSATIONS WITH HIM -- >> ARRGHH! >> Jimmy: I HOPE THEY CAN WORK THIS OUT, I REALLY DO. MAYBE THE MOST SHOCKING REVELATIONS OF ALL THE THINGS WE LEARNED IS LEV PARNAS, THIS MAN, IS ONLY 47 YEARS OLD. [ LAUGHTER ] HE'S THE SAME AGE AS SOFIA VERGARA. AND HE'S THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN PAUL RUDD. [ LAUGHTER ] SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN RUDY DRINKS YOUR BLOOD. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AND WHILE THE PRESIDENT IS ON THE HOT PLATE, HIS SON-IN-LAW, IN A BIT OF EXCELLENT TIMING, JARED KUSHNER'S ON THE COVER OF "TIME" MAGAZINE THIS WEEK WITH QUITE A PHOTO. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TRUST HIM WITH THE MIDDLE EAST WHEN HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIS ARMS? [ LAUGHTER ] IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S IN A POLICE LINEUP. [ LAUGHTER ] IT WILL BE INTERESTING TO SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT. DONALD TRUMP DOESN'T LIKE MAGAZINES WHEN HE IS NOT ON THE COVER. HE'S NOT GOING TO PAY A PORN STAR TO SPANK HIM WITH THAT. "TIME" DID A WHOLE PROFILE ON JARED. JARED SAID WHEN HE GOT TO THE WHITE HOUSE HE DIDN'T NECESSARILY KNOW WHAT IT TOOK TO BE SUCCESSFUL. GUESS WHAT, HE STILL DOES NOT KNOW. BUT JARED KUSHNER ALWAYS HAS A SPACED-OUT LOOK ON HIS FACE LIKE THE EDIBLES JUST KICKED IN. THE FACT THAT THIS IS HAPPENING, THAT HE GOT THIS INTERVIEW AT THE SAME TIME REPUBLICANS ARE DEMANDING THAT HUNTER BIDEN EXPLAIN HOW HE GOT A JOB HE WASN'T QUALIFIED FOR IS VERY RICH. BUT THE INTERVIEW, THEY EVEN SHOT A LITTLE TOUR OF JARED'S OFFICE AT THE WHITE HOUSE. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. >> WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE WEST WING, IT'S A SMALL SPACE. EVERYONE WHO WALKS DOWN THE HALL TO MEET THE PRESIDENT WILL WALK BY JARED KUSHNER'S OFFICE. HE HAS BECOME TRUMP'S MOST LOYAL TROUBLESHOOTER. THE PRESIDENT TRUSTS HIM AND GIVES HIM SOME OF HIS MOST IMPORTANT POLICY INITIATIVES TO TRY TO DRIVE THROUGH. >> Jimmy: LOOK AT THAT NOTE. "TO JARED, GREAT JOB ON MEXICO, THANKS, DAD." IT'S THE KIND OF NOTE YOU GET WHEN YOU WRITE A BOOK REPORT ABOUT MEXICO AND THE TEACHER GIVES YOU A B-PLUS. JARED HAS A BUNCH OF FRAMED NOTES FROM TRUMP ON THE WALL OF HIS OFFICE. "JARED, GREAT JOB, THANKS, DONALD TRUMP." "TO JARED, GREAT JOB, DONALD TRUMP." THIS IS A MAP OF ISRAEL TRUMP SIGNED AND WROTE, "NICE." AND THEN THIS WAS A WEIRD ONE. THIS I THOUGHT WAS A LITTLE STRANGE.
