TRIGGER WARNING Father R**** Daughter From Age 5 To 15

here's the story at 3 years old you wake up in the middle of the night to your mother holding a knife over your head she's later diagnosed with bipolar disorder you're put into forcer care and by 5 years old your father comes to adopt you but what was once the light at the end of a tunnel quickly turns into the nightmare of your life traing Anonymous my father would blindfold me and he will make me give him oral sex he will ejaculate in my [Music] mouth the most disgusting thing about every went through every taste I'm young I'm I don't know what the [ __ ] is going on you understand what I'm saying I'm confused why is this happening to me why is my dad doing this to me what's good my name is Chris D this is travel Anonymous welcome back welcome back thank you everybody as always for supporting us and keeping this movement moving shout out to break be media please follow trap Anonymous and at styles on that Instagram if you have somebody you know if you want to be on the show you can just DM me you can email me I do respond and um Let's Help continue to get these stories out to our communities um the story that we have today I think is very prevalent in our community and I think that by having the uncomfortable conversations and by putting these sorts of things on Front Street that we could help not only prevent but we could help heal so without no further Ado do remember that the stories that you he do not necessarily reflect real life to he to entertain educate or just keep your little homie off the streets it's only please don't give me indicted my name is Chris DS let's get it how are you I'm good okay so um I said this in the previous episode um just is trying something new here so first I want to start with your name and why is it important that you tell your story my name is Shantel Freeman and it's very important for me to tell my story to bring awareness to the black community um to basically bring a different light of how to handle similar situations and what I went through um and start holding people accountable that's why I think it's important to tell my story okay so you were in uh force of Care at a very young age yes um let's sort of talk about that early life why you were put up was it adoption or when I was 3 years old me and my brother was placed into foster care um because my mother was dealing with mental illness um she was diagnosed as bipolar and schizophrenic MH I woke up one morning or not morning night I woke up at night to my grandmother screaming um when I woke up I saw my mother um in the room with me and my brother my brother was asleep she was in the room with a knife standing above us my grandmother called the police and reported my mother and that night we were taken into custody as far as like foster care um my Grandma had the choice to my Grandma had the choice to take us in um but she didn't so first we started off in a boys and girls group home we stayed there for a couple of months um girls was supposed to sleep on one side of the house boys sleep on the other side of the house me and my brother we weren't separated you know I'm thankful for that we were basically just in FAL together shortly after that we were placed inside a placement home and um pooki and that experience wasn't good at all U what I remember is that the foster care kids couldn't even take a bath in the same tub as you know the foster care parents and their biological children we had to eat on the floor we couldn't even join them to eat at the dinner table um we just weren't allowed to have any access to their biological kids things um you know of course there was other kids there too as well that um was experiencing trauma whether it be you know anger or sexual you know abuse and stuff like that when I was in foster care I did um experience a little boy touching on me and and and we were in that situation for a few months before my father came and got us out of foster care okay so you you gave us a lot there that's wh why why was your parents not together so why was your mother and grandmother the only ones that had that had you and your brother um I don't I don't think my dad and my mom was a boyfriend girlfriend type of thing you know um when I asked her why would she entertain someone like him you know she expressed me that he ain't never even took her on a date for so I just really feel like it was just you know yeah so you you were laying there and then when you woke up you saw your mom standing over you with the knife yes do you remember what you felt in that moment what I was petrified I was scared like what the [ __ ] is you doing like I hear my grandma screaming you know and you know during that time I didn't know what the [ __ ] mental illness was I was little you know so that's when I started seeing the mental illness from that night moving forward wow okay so at at what point would you say that your father came to get you um from foster care what how how old were you I was between four and five four and five I was I was little yeah did he ever expressed why he wanted to now come uh get his children or you know sort of like why did he choose now to come get his children I like four or five years old like if you wanted your kids I'm sure like that's something exactly um I don't I don't know why I mean I kind of know why he came and got us out of fost care I feel like you know it was a Bene beneficial thing for him cuz my mother was um getting SSI chests for me and my brother which of course you know I didn't know about until I got older um and then plus it was a easy grab my mom dealing with mental illness you know he really ain't got to go through no courts to you know deem her to be a a bad parent she's already on paper that you know she's not mentally stable to be a parent so I felt like it was just a easy grab for him that he could just take us from her yeah sort of have the you know single dad with the kids sort of situation it's like an image to him you know that's how he manipulates his victims he wants that image of I'm a single father I work hard for my kids when you don't do that you know what I'm saying okay so what is life like soon as you move in with your dad um so I moved in with my dad between four and 5 years old um we were living in a two-bedroom apartment with me and my brothers the first few months was fine the first few months was fine but then there was another side of him that just started to come out that it wasn't it wasn't good for us my dad was abusive so physically verbally physically emotionally mentally anything you can name of he did it so I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm assuming that like beat you with like things and yeah hit you yeah um when does the sexual abuse start when I was 5 years old what happened I remember my birthday was coming up and my father told me to come in his room it was just little things that he would do that made me feel really uncomfortable you know like the groom part MH and my dad will always make an excuse that he was checking me to make sure I wasn't doing anything at that young age that was just his way of like I said grooming and coming in and do whatever but my dad started touching me when I was five and he would blindfold me it it didn't start as you know and to cour so he it started off as him making me give him oral sex and my father would blindfold me and he will make me give him oral sex he will ejaculate in my mouth the most disgusting thing every went through ever taste I'm young I'm I don't know what the [ __ ] is going on you understand what I'm saying I'm confused why is this happening to me why is my dad doing this to me um my dad continued to touch on me my dad continued to rap me no matter how many times I told him no matter how many times I told him no it that did not like stop him and be like oh [ __ ] like this is my daughter why am I'm doing this you know but you know as I got older okay really quickly M so I how often would this go on it's a 5 years old how often would this go on I don't really remember how often that young but I do remember how often as I got older but when it first started it wasn't that often I would say probably like one time out the week you know or if he had like any opportunity to like do it and get away with it because his woman at the time she would work at night so he had every opportunity to sneak in my room and do whatever he wanted to do you know but as a child it wasn't as much until I got older um okay 5-year-old child right mhm and your your dad is is is raping you and forcing you to do these sort of things if you can can you can you go back to sort of that that that child Minds mentality mindset that you had what what are you thinking what what are you thinking about your household are you thinking like this is like normal are you thinking like this is this is still my father he is my protector he is supposed to be taking care of me like sort of that confusion that he's now put into your mind um could you speak on that a little bit of course um it made me feel confused it made me you know feel like Out of Body Experience like I was frozen you know just thinking like why me like why would he do this to me I already don't have my mom you were supposed to protect me not rap me so I just remember like being that young just being confused and just not even want to be around him anymore I didn't feel safe what do you what do you remember most about the abuse I remember I would tell this man no I would beg him no I would beg him like I don't want I don't want to I don't want to do that you know it didn't matter like if I play sleep it didn't matter what I he would drag me out my room godamn it was things he would tell me that was just completely just out of line you know was like what like as when I got older like he was whispering my ear tell me how he would get jealous when I start dating other [Music] guys how he would get jealous when I start dating other guys and you know putting me on birth trol at a real young age cuz he was afraid he was going to get me pregnant oh my god making me take um pregnancy tests in the gas station when I was only 11 years old okay okay but before we get there your your father goes to jail yes yeah uh talk to me about that my father goes to jail he um was sentenced for 3 years in prison because um I basically told the police the truth um my father was married to this young lady I don't want to see her name but he was he was jealous over the fact that she was at our neighbor's house during the time and um so he went over there and shot his gun in the air and dragged his wife at the time from outside back into the house until he ripped off all of her clothes I mean he dragging her from outside into the house she's naked by the time she hit the front door he done ripped her all her clothes I'm watching him drag this woman beating the [ __ ] out of her beating her naked she's screaming mhm so of course her brother uh pull up and you know they start tusting the F or whatever so they run inside the room now I didn't know you know she was pregnant at this time wow so my father he's trying to get at her trying to beat down a door he actually broke down a door I'm a child I open up my door I look in I look out my door to see what the [ __ ] going on he tell me close the [ __ ] door and mind your goddamn business so I'm crying I'm scared you know so the police come or whatever and you know I was never known to be a liar even when I was a little kid and you know I only knew to tell the truth mhm so when the police asked me what happened told I told him the truth so he got sentenced to three years wow so you were sort of the Catalyst for that sentencing to happen mm when your father Goes to Jail how old are you at this time between n and 10 when he went to prison so how old were you when he went to prison I was like between 9 and 10 when he between n and 10 okay so the abuse had already started from Five Oh Yeah from five from when he first got custy of us the abuse started real heavy um I remember when I was 5 years old he had me and my brother take a stand in court so my dad he have this thing where he likes to um go after women that that's not financially stable that don't have the means or the knowledge of how to protect himself he likes to use the law as his weapon so he would go after these unfortunate women manipulate them play them get them pregnant and then he'll take their kid away he'll take them to court and take their kid away type of sick [ __ ] is just so he can get child support any type of benefits right you name it so um he had this one I'm call her Haitian lady he had well which was my sister mama my sister mother when my sister was little my father was trying to take her from her mother for no reason my dad had my sister for like what two weeks they said you know we waking up Police pulling up all in front of the house 10 police lying up down down the goddamn Street this in Florida made long story short of course they got to go to court for custody he tells my brothers he quoted them what to say how to allow to stand and [ __ ] like that well it was my turn as a 5-year-old as a 5-year-old when I took that stand I told the truth I told the truth about everything I he wanted us to say that she was a bad mother so she can lose my sister so he can have custody of her I told the truth I told the judge she wasn't a bad mom she was a good person and and because of my testimony kind of changed every [ __ ] thing so I feel like because of that that's the reason why my father started molesting me and raping me to show like as a form of punishment that how dare you go against me I feel like that's that's one of the main reasons why he did that or started to rap me and molest me wow and and that truth right that was prevalent at 5 years old and came back into play around 9 years old yeah and even till today is still I think the most important and superpower that you have right even coming here telling the truth right um when when he gets locked up at age nine do you remember feeling guilty was there animosity was there Joy what did you feel when they sentenced your father I felt free wow I felt [ __ ] free that he was no longer around me I didn't I didn't have to worry about him coming in my room at night I felt safe I felt safe where did you go I was my mama had got custody of us um so we went back into her custody I guess she had to take like CL classes and stuff like that to show and take her medicine show that she can be you know a stable parent so I guess she went and took those measures I mean that was good for a little while until she got herself a little husband um you know nothing happened with him but it was just a lot of I guess just [ __ ] on his end like he he wasn't the [ __ ] for my mama basically you know what I'm saying like he just wasn't um so we live with my mom for for about 3 years cuz my dad was in prison for 3 years what is those what are those years like even though we were even though we were living somewhat in the hood I would say that's probably like the best childhood I had you know I remember getting our bicycles going outside and going across the train tracks got all the neighborhood kids lying up the bike against the road and you know we just having F you know just being outside no tablets no [ __ ] social media just being kids like that was like the best part of my childhood was when I was living my mom low key my mom allowed us to be kids even though she had her own mental issues going on she allowed us to be kids overall interesting as the first time I've seen you smile um during the interview I love my mom man I don't I don't hate my mom at all for the decision she made you know but we'll get into it well it seem it seems like things we're looking on the up right and that part of your childhood you are beginning to become a kid and be a kid and have fun and have those sort of memories but you're not in the clear yet you're not in the clear yet um what happens after those three years so my brother decides to reach out to my father um I guess basically telling me he wanted to move in with him and stuff like that so my brother started like sneaking off you know to go see my dad or whatever and um I would never go I would never go and um so my mother she stopped taking her medicine again my mother stopped taking her medicine again you know she's a skinc friend so she's hearing voices she's cutting the cables out the TV she thinks somebody's watching her you know and now it's starting to get uncomfortable living with her cuz it's like damn you know you act hectic so you saying all this [ __ ] that I don't even see you saying you know you know people watching you through TVs and [ __ ] where are they you know what I'm saying like I I don't I don't see it so it start to become real stressful living with her but you know my father popped up and my mother was like yeah you could take them wow that's at nine huh that's at nine I was 9 years old time yep she said he could take us so we go move back in with him of course you know everything seems fine in the beginning but you know things start turning yet again um I'm trying to remember okay so yeah we were still living in Florida during this time and the sexual abuse didn't start up not immediately but it it started up again and I remember me and him was in the kitchen [Music] and during this time you know he's out of prison so he's kind of hearing I don't want to skip anything I'm sorry it's fine take your time okay so when he got out of prison I believe I was 11 yeah I was 11 during that time so when he got out of prison I was inting the time mixed up so when he got out of prison I believe I was like 11 years old so we moving with him uh we living in Florida and you know I remember me and him was in the kitchen and then he was telling me basically what I liked as far as like in a in a guy or in a man or whatever and he was basically telling me that if I ever had urges that he would rather for me to come to him than to get it outside so of course I'm like like why the [ __ ] would he like tell me that like why would you want to know like what type of guy I like like why would you tell me if I have any urges to come to you like trying to make it seem like this is normal telling me that oh this happened in other households all the time you know there's people that's in class with you that's probably going through the same thing and look they're not hurt and he would just make it seem like it was okay because he wasn't hurting me that he was you know nice and soft and and not forc me but in reality you were forc me just because you wasn't you know like hardcore raping me to feel so I could feel pain I was still feeling the damage that he caused to me you know you supposed to be my father how could you how could you sleep with someone and create a whole child and look at your child I look like him how could you look at me and say I want to [ __ ] my daughter or not even daughter cuz he never even looked at me as a daughter he really looked at me as his [ __ ] you know what I'm saying like I was never his daughter for him to be able to do the things that he was doing I was never his daughter he always looked at me as his [ __ ] so after that conversation um do you what what do you sort of feel do you feel like well know that I don't want to come to you for these sort of things or do you feel like you sort of have to continue to start that sort of cycle back up with your dad because he's telling you essentially no you have to do it no I always like I always told my dad no like he was come in my room sneak in my room or whatever tell me get up get up get up and I be like sometimes I don't say [ __ ] like I I literally be like laying there like act like damn near dead you know what I'm saying this [ __ ] will get my leg my ankle and drag me he get my arm and drag me out the room I had no choice you get what I'm saying so it was like during that time nothing I could have said just have stopped him when did you lose your virginity I don't remember I don't remember I don't I um but at some at some point your father stops uh my dad found out I was my dad found I wasn't a virsion no more and um I'm trying to think cuz a lot of lot of the stuff I had Tred to mentally block out my head I I don't blame you well my dad found out wasn't a virge no more my let me just say this my father wasn't the only person that was touching me my two older brothers was as well and um that's why I can't tell you I don't remember when I lost my virginity I don't know I don't know if it was one of my brothers I don't know if it was my dad I don't know I don't know but when my father did find out when he checked me um when he saw that my highman wasn't no longer attached my father started to full gauge have fullblown sex with me he would he started having sex with me without no condom without no nothing and this [ __ ] got 17 children 13 baby Mas you sleeping with everybody in the whole [ __ ] world and you not even like at least put a condom on like you literally like risking my whole entire [ __ ] life you know and um so yeah he will start having sex with me and during those times like I'm I'm I'm approaching high school now you know I'm in the eighth grade ninth grade and um it was one time cuz I would never I would never look my father in his face when he was on top of me I just couldn't I just couldn't look at him but it was this one night I looked at him and it was like his eyes was closed the whole entire time it was like he just couldn't look at me you know it was like he couldn't face the person who he was doing it with um but the same time he want to get that nut [ __ ] is [ __ ] disgusting y oh my God this [ __ ] you told me that one time your brother walked in when you yeah yeah laying up in the bed with your dad yeah yeah um not only am I flabbergasted by the act totally mortified by the ACT M but he laying up in the bed with you you know like mhm yeah my father told me we were living in Florida still during this time his girlfriend at time was uh RN so she worked overnight and um his room was on the other side of hallway my room was on the other side of hallway this was a three-story townhouse so you have one bedroom all the way on the first floor then you got the second floor it was it was beautiful you had the living room it's not the hood that your mother was living room no no one thing about one thing about my father that I can say is that I only seen him work I only seen that [ __ ] work no matter what health State he was in I always saw him work so Living With My Father we had a better well financially suburbs suburbs yeah a better education but you know stuff like that with my father um so no we were never living like in the hood or anything like that yeah um you forget so your brother walks in okay so yeah so we're living in Florida at this time you know we living in the townhouse and um my father like I said my father room was right here then you walked down the hallway my room is right there so me and his room is the only room upstairs on the third floor so he calls me into his room and at first he has me laying in the bed with him and he has the TV on and stuff like that and he heard footsteps coming up the stairs and this is my older brother you know the same brother that would touch on me too mhm um so as you can kind of put two the two together while he was upstairs looking for you mhm H so my father tells me to hurry up and sit on the floor at the foot of the bed act like I'm watching TV so he opens up the door and show know that's my brother so I'm looking at my brother like [ __ ] help me asking for help for someone that is also abusing you and I forgive my brothers at any point you want to break or stop we could okay I forgive my brothers because I understand that the same thing happened to them and one thing about trauma the cycle continues to go on and on and on through generations and generations when you have to be that person to break them be that person you have to be that person to break them so I was never mad at my two brothers it's crazy right I was never mad at them because I walked in on my big sister on my mom's side molesting my big big brother doing what to him I remember I probably four 4 or years old around this time I remember um waking up see I will always sleep in my grandmother's room she was a a nurse overnight nurse and um I woke up go use the bathroom and I remember opening the door M and my big sister was laying on the floor while she had my my big brother giving her head on the bathroom floor what the [ __ ] and again me not knowing what the [ __ ] is going on I'm just like confused you know so I walk out did they stop no what she didn't make him stop she wasn't like oh [ __ ] none of that like I walked in saw the [ __ ] and like I walked the [ __ ] out like she didn't make him stop nothing this is like a cycle with every body in this it's a cancer it's a cancer that is spreading all through my dad's side of family and also some of my mom's side of family it's a cancer um that I wouldn't no longer deal with okay okay let's break let's break these cycles and generational curses um what sorts of things were your brothers doing to you um my older brother he's the number one out the bunch of 17 18 kids my brother at first he would just make me give him oral um but then as I got older it started to gradually become into a full penetration unprotected yep yep yep how long does this go on for it went on for with my older older brother it went on for a couple years and my father knew about it what that's the sick [ __ ] my father [ __ ] knew about it and to him he looked at it as like a perfect opportunity to cover him of what he was doing with me and blame everything on my brother talking about oh yeah that's she [ __ ] him she ain't [ __ ] me what he would say that how did he find out I told him you told him m M how'd that conversation go I told him I just sat here and told him that my brother was touching me and he made it seem like I wanted it he made it seem like I enjoyed it and I wanted it and he would never have done that to me if I didn't give him that invitation but how the [ __ ] would I give him that invitation when I'm a little ass girl he was a teenager 14 13 years old at the time and you know so it was rumors that my father was also touching my brother too as well M um I don't know for that to be sure but I definitely watch my dad beat the [ __ ] out of my older brother like knock him on conscious type [ __ ] I have definitely witnessed that um my dad is just a evil piece of [ __ ] of a human when was the last day he touched you can I tell you how powerful God is please the first time I called out for God I was a freshman in high school the first time I called out for God was the last time that man touched me this man on top of me raping me and what made me call out for God Chris is that the night previously of him touching me my body gave him a reaction that I didn't want my body gave him a reaction I didn't want I felt like my body felt me I had an orgasm when my father was giving me head and I just feel so disgusted I felt like I felt like his his demons was coming on to me and I didn't want that [ __ ] I don't I don't want to fight his demons I don't I don't want I didn't want to become that so the last time this man touched me I was a freshman in high school I was going to Richland Hills High School he pulled me in his room like normal and something in my spirit just like just call out for God [Music] bro I was begging my phone I said please stop please stop I said this is not normal this is not normal I said God please help me said God please help me that's not normal after that he still got his n but he promised me he would never touch me again he never touched me again after that no one didn't touch me again after that power of God [ __ ] I have told numerous of people I have told a lot of people a lot of people my family and one thing I do want to bring awareness to is these goddamn women and these [ __ ] families these children coming up to y'all telling y'all that [ __ ] is happening y'all rather protect child molester than to protect the child stop saying these kids are lying these kids is not lying kids don't know how to lie to be honest with you unless they're taught kids going to tell you the truth ugly whatever they going it ain't no filter with children so my thing is when a child tells an adult something to listen to it if you see a little girl and she she's acting promiscuous or she's doing things look at the root of the cause don't look at she's out here whatever she's doing sucking dip [ __ ] or whatever look at the root of the cause what happened was she exposed did something happen to her for her to start acting promiscuous because with me when it comes to a child that is being sexually abused two things will happen one that child could either become the abuser or two that child become promiscuous and I became promiscuous at a very young age I was having sex I was I was wow you know what I'm saying at a very young age so because of my trauma and what I was exposed to do you hate your father I yeah yeah I hate him I hate him I want any tears that would would drop if they tell me he would have died would be tears of joy and I don't regret saying that you move out get pregnant yep kind of off on your own yep homeless with a newborn because of my father and how was your relationship what was that like with who the uh the father of your child were you with the father of your child or were you with no um he came into play because me and my high school sweetheart we didn't work out anymore [ __ ] happens and um I was so in love with that boy but we had the same last name like that's my husband um uh I kind of lost my train of thought but so you you um you ended up having a child because it didn't work out yeah so my high school sweetheart we didn't work out so in between that time my my child's father was trying to reach me or whatever and I wasn't really interested but caught you when you was weak yeah so now that I'm vulnerable and [ __ ] like that I'm like [ __ ] it you know link up so you got pregnant I got pregnant and I got pregnant right before and I was pregnant cuz I was planning on breaking it off with him I'm like [ __ ] I'm trying to go to college I'm going to you shoot up the club and [ __ ] I'm not so supposed to be doing this you know what I'm saying like and then next thing you know I'm pregnant so what age was that 20 years old 20 years old y before we continue your father put you in birth control at 15 what do you remember about that day I [Music] remember I remember what he said before that day came okay um I remember my father was molesting me he was raping me and he had this fear of getting me pregnant so I remember him whispering in my ear telling me me that I can't wait to put you on birth control so I won't worry about you getting pregnant and that's exactly what he did but when he put me on birth control of course other family members asking him well why are you putting her on birth control at 15 he's making it seem like I'm just out of control being a [ __ ] or whatever but during that time you're the only one that's [ __ ] me so yeah takes you to the doctor yep take me to the doctor I get the implay on I got the scar in my arm still um that last about 3 years um I can't say my father ever took it that far to like you know ejaculating you um I can't say if he did but he definitely put me on birth control to prevent any yeah CU you know if he get me pregnant then he can't lie about that so yeah no he cannot is um mhm that is black and white mhm okay let's jump back 20 years old you have a kid um things obviously don't work out with him he was a rebound um you start dating a guy things are going pretty good with you yeah so this is my first relationship right um Julian I guess I'll say his name um me and Julian we last for almost two years and and I don't have anything bad to say about Juliet um he was a great guy I was he met me when I was 6 months pregnant he took his time with me I never I never experienced that ever you know didn't work out it didn't work out because the fire and drive I have in me I didn't see that in him you know I want to make something out of my life MH um I want to be financially stable so okay so you had to go yeah I had to go you meet another boyfriend yes y'all be to live together yes we were together for 3 years I won't say his name okay um we were together for 3 years and when I dated him he is he was the missing P piece to my puzzle that cracked every [ __ ] thing for me about what I've been going through um he was very abusive very trolling didn't want me to be seen you know trying to start a business he's hating about that criticizing me you know not being supportive um very emotional yelling like a female you know just just too much very physical and stuff like that gotta um I left him I had to but I had nowhere to go I had nowhere to go you go back to your dad mhm with a daughter yeah like I said I had no know where to go and when I did reach out to my father for the first time in 3 years I was put in a position because when you in a abusive relationship see I didn't know this but when you're in abusive relationship and you call the police on your partner that's abusing you if there's any children that's in the household in Texas and also South Carolina they will call Child Protective Services on you and that's exactly what happened so I never had Child Protective Services called on me and I knew my father you know he's a good manipulator good liar so I knew he dealt with these places a lot and I asked him for some help but to make the long story short I left him and I didn't have nowhere to go so I had to go back into my father's uh house my father is a truck driver okay my father was never home if he was home it was probably like 2 days out out like a weekend or something but it was like once a month you know month and a half you know what I'm saying my father was never home so I felt like as a mother we don't have nowhere to go I'm not going to go to the shelter cuz you know shelters are not safe nowadays um we have our own room our own bathroom our own quarter of the house he's not home it's really just me his girlfriend her son so I felt like during that time within my situation it was a good decision during my during that time because I felt like he's never home and I would never leave my child around him my daughter is up to age she's seven I have taught her the necessary tools to communicate with me but like I stated if he was at the house way more than what he was I wouldn't have went there okay I wouldn't have went there cuz is that that PE people are going to wonder MH you know I understand and I and I don't and I don't care what their opinions are because you could say should have could would have all that extra [ __ ] but I had a whole car packed up to the rooftop with me and my daughter [ __ ] and I had to drive from South Carolina all the way to Texas with no plan you know what I'm saying nothing I had a plan but but I had to put myself in a position to start on that plan right so I could get out of his house right was it awkward walking in the house for the first time seeing your dad yeah with your daughter was it like mhm was it weird it was weird it was very uncomfortable it was like [ __ ] I'm back in the same house with this [ __ ] but I felt like over the years and you know me growing up and [ __ ] like that I felt like I tried to forgive him and I tried to give him chances just with me not with my kid um for him to make things right I felt like he definitely played with my emotions knowing I didn't I didn't have my mom and he was my only parent and I was willing to look past everything he did if he was able to change and prove that he could be a father I think that's what I just wanted was a was a was my dad not a man that look at me as this woman he didn't come to my high school graduation he wasn't even there you know how bad that [ __ ] hurt me my mom not even there why aren't you here as my parent regardless what the [ __ ] going on why are you not being a regular dad why are you not showing me how a man should be towards his kids I don't want this man beat every single [ __ ] woman up beat they ass that's all I done that's all I saw growing up from him he never showed me a good role model with a man is ever um he let you dress provocatively yeah yeah he like you said never looked at you as a child never um I know there was no more sexual abuse for you was there any more physical abuse from your father moving forward oh yeah yeah my dad done sent me to school with a black eye and everything like I was literally in a Abus relationship with my own father like like he was my [ __ ] or something you know how were you able to leave the home with did well his girlfriend at the time so she watched him beat my ass she watched him throw me down the stairs and all this extra [ __ ] this is why you're living with him yeah this is like with your daughter no no no this was when like during high school so no as an adult my dad no as an adult when I moved back in with him it was only one situation that happened that was very physical and this just recently happened May 21st my my daughter she was on game restriction so my dad he's married right he's legally married married and he has a mistress that he's with now for 3 years um my daughter was on game restriction and I put all her games up in the closet upstairs right now my dad's girlfriend her son I guess have the same gaming system as my daughter and when my daughter was off restrictions I told her to go upstairs and get it mhm they gone all her is gone so I'm like what the [ __ ] I just bought this [ __ ] her birthday was just a month ago what the [ __ ] her games at you know what I'm saying so I go confront his girlfriend she telling me that maybe her son which is 12 years old my daughter's seven what the [ __ ] you trading games with my daughter for right you know what I'm saying so she's she try to you know play it like he probably traded games or um it probably was out or she misplaced him or she probably threw him away all this you know what of [ __ ] so I leave the house I'm 38 hot I'm mad I'm chilling with my my brother and I'm letting him know what's going on now I come back to my the house my father's there I wasn't expecting him to be there you know what I'm saying so my daughter goes in the room or whatever so I come out the room and I asked them not being rude or disrespect I asked him I said so did we find her games or I would need to replace the games before I can even say replace he's cursing me out [ __ ] you mad about the [ __ ] gang shut the [ __ ] up so I'm arguing back with him how the [ __ ] you GNA get mad at me about games I spent my heart on my heart earned money on this is my my daughter's [ __ ] like how the [ __ ] you going get mad at me so make long story short he started you know throwing my [ __ ] out my room or whatever ever I called the police um he started cursing my damn daughter out calling her [ __ ] shut the [ __ ] up all this extra [ __ ] I black out at this point I grabbed the first thing I could saw and that was that pot and my brother holding my dad back in the corner and his [ __ ] holding me back or whatever next thing you know I throw the pot I break the statue my dad started coming around cursing and Argan or whatever and from this point I I blacked out so I can only tell you what was told to me my father walked up to me I reached back I reach back and I punch him I reach back and I punch him and um next thing you know all I remember is that he got me by my hair and he punches me in my face and that's the picture I sent you and um made long story short yeah they took my ass gel because it was his story his girlfriend's story her son's story against my my story story where' your daughter go my daughter was at the house with them yep the police left my daughter at the house with them I don't know just for a day it was a day she didn't come back and tell you anything that's the first thing I asked her okay that's the first thing I asked her right in front of the because my father tried to put my daughter in foster care so the people had my daughter when I got out of the hospital it was mandated for me to go to the hospital for a mental evaluation because I stated that I tried to commit suicide when I was 13 um so they sent me to a mental hospital and CPS was calling the mental hospital and letting them know that they had my kid and I'm begging I'm begging the doctors to let me go because if I lose my ch how I can't even put in the words what the [ __ ] going to happen or how I would react I will have a mental breakdown and um and by the grace of God they did they did let me go and I was able to get my daughter and from there you know I hustled it took me only a month to get into my own place so you know we got our own place now we're good if we could go back in time M and speak to the 5-year-old girl what's something that you would tell her she's worthy she's worthy of love I hear her I see her she's safe now and there there's nothing in this world that she can't do and I also say to that 5-year-old girl that it wasn't her fault I didn't deserve it right ask for it and it it's not fair you got nine daughters not saying I would want him to do it with any of my sisters but you have nine doll daughters what I want to know is why me what made me what made me convince you to choose me to have those type of relationships with why would you want to [ __ ] up my head and try to [ __ ] up my life because you feel like your life is [ __ ] up already and to belittle me all my life to tell me I would never go to college tell me I was too stupid to go Chris I went M I went MH I made straight AIDS I graduated I walk across that stage Chris I feel like I was on the top of the [ __ ] world I feel like I was Unstoppable I refuse to let him control my life you have any regrets oh yeah I have a regret can I say it of course I regret not biting that [ __ ] so hard so when I did tell them people that he was touching on me I at least had proof this is tra Anonymous my name is Chris D let's get it

Channel: Breakbeat Media

Views: 492,347

Keywords: Breakbeat Media, Breakbeat Full Episodes, Breakbeat Interview, breakbeat media, breakbeat interview, breakbeat full episodes, trappin anonymous podcast, Trappin Anonymous, Trappin Anonymous episode, trappin' anonymous, Trappin' anonymous, podcast, Breakbeat, trappin anonymous episode 52, trappin anonymous incest, trappin anonymous

Id: 5cSfKYDrcbg

Length: 61min 13sec (3673 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 27 2023