Trauma, Triggers and Emotional Dysregulation: 10 Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System w/ Anna Runkle

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Childhood trauma physically changes your brain.  It makes your alarm system set off super easily.   And people often call this getting triggered.  But what's really happening is that when the   brain perceives a threat, the emotional part  of the brain gets launched into high alert,   and it basically shuts down rational thinking  to a degree. Now, you might feel super emotional   or scared. You might feel angry, upset, or numb.  You might feel detached or feel a desperate urge   to flee a situation or placate everyone around  you. Now, this is all part of the protective   fight/flight/freeze response. And for people with  childhood trauma it might last for days or hours   or be chronic. Right? Now, emotional dysregulation  can make it seem impossible to function at work,   at home. It makes it feel impossible to maintain  relationships. But the good news is that you can   learn to self-regulate. You can learn to snap out  of the triggered response and back into the calm,   thinking part of your brain. Now, by the time  you're watching this video I've got a new baby,   but Anna Runkle, also known as Crappy  Childhood Fairy, was kind enough to   help me out. She has an incredible story  of overcoming childhood trauma and PTSD,   and she has decades of experience helping other  people find their path through it in their own   lives as well. Now, Anna isn't a mental health  professional, but I really value her personal   experience, both in her own life and helping  others. And because she's been there she can   understand things and explain things in  a way that relates to others with CPTSD.   So I'm grateful that she took the time to help  me out. So here's Anna. She's going to teach you   10 ways to self-regulate, to calm down when  you're triggered and get back to yourself.   When you have complex PTSD there is nothing  worse than being in some crucial conversation   or some big moment and some little thing  triggers you. I'm Anna Runkle, also known as   the Crappy Childhood Fairy, and I help people  heal symptoms from trauma during childhood.   I've got 10 tips for you that will help you be  more aware and able to take quick action so that   when your CPTSD symptoms do get triggered you're  able to handle it gracefully and to come back from   that brink without having to lash out or flee  or to be hard on yourself. Because that's what   compounds the damage of trauma, right? Being hard  on yourself for having symptoms that are in fact   totally normal and not your fault. Now, I used to  feel so much confusion and so much shame about my   CPTSD symptoms. I didn't have control over them  yet. I didn't even know there was a word for   what happens to me when I'm stressed. I thought it  was just me. Something would trigger me, and even   though I knew it wasn't worth getting upset about,  it happened anyway. And it's like I could feel it   spreading through my body. Do you ever get that?  The feeling of adrenaline and discombobulation,   feeling numb - maybe in your hands or your face  - or having trouble expressing your thoughts? Or   you're feeling flooded with emotions like panic or  rage. Have you ever had that? I used to get this   all the time. I didn't even know what it was. But  now there's a word for this sudden kind of stress   inside, and it's called dysregulation. It's really  common for people who had trauma in childhood   and it literally involves your brain waves and  some of your body systems getting irregular and   out of sync when certain triggers happen. Now,  some triggers you couldn't control if you really   had to, but others are harder to control - or not  until you've practiced it a lot. So if you get   dysregulated you've probably figured out how to  survive, you know, okay while you're dysregulated,   but as I'm sure you've noticed it can make it  really hard to think and focus and set boundaries   and navigate your life, because when you're  dysregulated, only part of your brain is working.   And doesn't this explains so much about why  it can be hard to make a change that sticks,   and why we sometimes make the same mistakes  over and over? It is not our fault we're like   this. It's an injury that comes from traumatic  experiences. And the good news is there are things   we can do to heal and calm those triggers. So what  are your triggers? For a lot of people it could be   a loud noise or a sudden shock or an experience  of being vulnerable or nervous or, most commonly,   emotional hurt, like being criticized or  overlooked or rejected. And even when you   know intellectually that the thing triggering you  is no big deal, when you have PTSD from childhood   it doesn't matter. Once it starts it's like it's  too late. You can feel this altered state almost   creeping through you. Do you get this? Or you're  thinking, "Oh no," you know, "Here it comes again,   that feeling where I just say things that ruin  everything or where I blank out at crucial moments   or where I lose my ability to focus for three  days or where I make a total idiot of myself."   And the feeling, once it starts, can feel  impossible to stop. So the good news is you can   learn to make it stop. And I can teach you that  everybody gets dysregulated sometimes. Babies get   dysregulated. Athletes get dysregulated. Brilliant  scientists get dysregulated. I get dysregulated.   And most of us will eventually re-regulate again.  But for those of us with CPTSD, it can happen   more often, with more intensity, and it can be  harder to return to a regulated state. It can make   it hard to focus, hard to get things done, hard  to speak and listen and connect. And sometimes   it makes it hard to control emotions. It's a  big reason why we struggle in relationships,   and it also plays a role in why people who went  through abuse and neglect in childhood have   higher rates of chronic illness. Dysregulation has  long-term effects on your central nervous system,   including your hormones and your immune system  and your heart and lungs and circulation.   So learning to calm your triggers could have  a very important ripple effect not just on   your mood in your mind but on your overall  health. And I'm just going to remind you again:   It's not your fault you have this. You didn't do  this to yourself; it's an injury, and it comes   from trauma. And now that you're an adult, it's  possible to make it worse and it's possible to   make it better. And we want to get better, right?  So in this video I want to teach you the 10 tricks   to get calm right away. I had to learn these  because I used to have really bad dysregulation   from childhood trauma. If you want to get a feel  for your own capacity to calm your triggers,   just kind of open up to what I'm going to  teach you right now. So the first thing is one:   Notice that you're triggered. This is sometimes  easier said than done, but as you start to   study what sets off your dysregulation, you'll  start to notice sooner than you used to that   it's happening again. And when you know you're  triggered and dysregulated, it's time to pause.   Try not to jump in. Don't confront anyone or  try to solve big problems or make decisions   until you have your whole brain back online.  Second, say to yourself, "I'm having an   emotional reaction." Or you can say, "I'm feeling  triggered." You say it to yourself. You don't   have to tell other people, necessarily. Just  saying this to yourself helps you separate out   the part of you that's getting overwhelmed from  the part of you that knows what to do about it.   Three: Make sure you're safe. If you're driving,  pull over. If you're in the middle of an argument,   put that discussion on hold in the nicest, most  gentle, and caring way that you can because   you're buying yourself a little time to get  re-regulated. So you can say something like,   "I want to continue this conversation, but  I need to take a breather to calm down."   Or if you don't want to tell the other person  that you're triggered, tell them you need to   go to the bathroom. If you're on the phone you can  say you have a call on the other line. Don't get   into a big discussion about it; just find a way to  put the conversation on pause, and then actually   take some time. And if it feels urgent that you  do something or say something or solve this thing,   it's probably the CPTSD talking. And if that's the  case, take even longer before you try to come back   and resolve anything. All right. Four is stamp  your feet on the floor. It really works. You're   just trying to help your body remember where you  are, to locate itself in space, and to remember   the left side of you and the right side of you.  And your dysregulated brain loves to feel the   ground and feel where you are in space. That is a  big way that it comes back into regulation. Okay.   Five: You probably thought I'd say this first,  but breathing. Take ten slow, deep breaths. Deep breaths are genuinely powerful at activating  your relaxation response. And I know you know   that, but sometimes we need our friends to remind  us. And while you're breathing, just to get more   sensation of your body and where to locate  your consciousness, you can push your tongue   right there on the back of your teeth.  Your mouth is part of that central   part of the body where we  locate our sense of self,   kind of from head to chest. So mouth sensations  can kind of bring you back into the center,   back into your body. Six is another way to get  back in your body: Sit down. Feel the weight of   your butt in the chair. Feel the surfaces  of the chair and where it's touching you.   All right. Seven: Eat something. Food helps you  feel your body too. When you're stressed you'll   probably crave carbs and sugar, but it's protein  foods that will help you get grounded again. Eight   is - this is something my brother taught me - you  can wash your hands. And while you're washing,   pay attention and feel the water and the soap on  your hands. If the water can be warm that's even   nicer. I love washing my hands with warm water.  Nine - and this is where your dysregulation is   really going wild - you can get a reset for your  nervous system by taking a cold shower. It doesn't   have to be ice cold, but it needs to give you  a little bit of a shock, you know, just like   that kind of cold. And I love this one. It's good  for increasing your energy as well. It's cheap,   it's easy, it's powerful, there's no hangover,  and it helps you re-regulate. Finally, number 10   is get a good squeezing hug. And if no one is  around, you can press your back into the corner,   you know, where the walls meet. Press your back  in. Wrap your arms around yourself so that you   feel a squeezing pressure around your torso.  We're all wired to calm down when we're hugged,   and that's pretty intuitive. Now, you can use  these techniques whether it's a big emotional   trigger that set you off or just a little thing  - you got a parking ticket or someone was rude to   you or you have to get on zoom and teach people  something and you're nervous. It doesn't take   much to set off that dysregulation response. But  the sooner you can notice it and turn it around,   the sooner you can forget the thing that set  it off, and then you can get back to being you.   You can use your mind and your focus the way  you want to use them and feel more alert and   open to the day. And when you're good at that  you can be a little freer and a little bolder   in your life, because even if you get triggered  you know how to come back from that quickly.   So I have a question for you. If you were good at  re-regulating and calming your triggers, would it   make a difference in your life? Hands down yes. So  try these quick techniques I just shared. If you   want to learn an additional technique, and this  one takes a little practice to learn, I call it   my daily practice. And it's the number one tool  that I've used to heal my own CPTSD symptoms.   It's a free course. You can learn and try it in  less than an hour, and Emma has kindly put a link   to that down in the description section below.  Thank you, Emma, for having me on your channel.   You're awesome. Don't forget, everyone,  healing is possible. You can do this.   Okay. Thanks again to Anna for helping me out,  and please do check out her YouTube channel   and her daily practice, her free course  where she teaches her process of working   through emotional dysregulation.  Thank you for watching, and take care.
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Channel: Therapy in a Nutshell
Views: 464,064
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: therapy in a nutshell, emma mcadam, mental health, depression, anxiety, overthinking, social anxiety, trauma, triggers, emotional dysregulation, complex ptsd
Id: 2hGosi3tsjI
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Length: 13min 0sec (780 seconds)
Published: Thu Jun 23 2022
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