YES, You Can Heal Childhood PTSD Symptoms -- These Actions HELP.

if you had a hard childhood it's not enough just to talk about what happened to you I mean it's totally important and for a lot of people it's the first step but if you've been working on improving your life for a while you probably noticed that talking about other people and things that happened in the past can only go so far and you can get insight about why you struggle now but it's not going to suddenly solve your life problems the fact is if you have childhood PTSD and symptoms that go with that are affecting you you get flustered you get emotionally dysregulated you long to be loved but you find yourself in relationships where you can't be loved you have trouble with perception you can't tell the difference between a good person and one who's lying to you or using you you know if you have these kind of difficulties it's okay these are really normal kinds of Fallout for people who grew up neglected or abused but just because it's normal and not your fault doesn't take away the fact that it needs to be healed and unfortunately even though it intuitively feels like someone somewhere should be able to fix this for you it's going to come from in here you have the power to face these life problems and I want to encourage you to find the strength to do that you did not ask to hurt like this when you were a kid but now it's you who suffers from these life problems and you whose shoulders it's on to start solving the problems now maybe you've self-sabotaged in the past we all have I have and maybe it pains you that the burden of fixing all that falls on you it's not fair of course it's not fair and you're right it was an injustice and it shouldn't have happened but it's like the stages of grief if you can accept that it's you who will suffer if you don't change and it's you and only you who can make those changes that acceptance can open the door to Healing now you might not know how to do it you might not see the way but you can get there step by step and you can rely on some solid principles and I'm going to share some with you I've got 10 of them you might want to write these down all right so get ready number one learn to emotionally regulate yourself now this is easier said than done and it's a big process but I want to make it number one because the symptom that causes the biggest problems is emotional dysregulation and so that's this thing that can happen in people who are traumatized it's a neurological injury and so when you have normal emotional responses to situations like you know somebody is unfair to you you feel angry somebody says they're breaking up with you you feel sad you have a big test coming up tomorrow you feel anxious well if you have emotional dysregulation those feelings which would normally be this big can get this big they go beyond the point where you can really contain the emotion you can't really put it into words effectively if you have this you've probably become accustomed to hiding how you're feeling because you you know instinctively or you know overtly that your feelings are kind of bigger than other people's feelings that's emotional dysregulation it's totally normal for somebody who's been through what you've been through but it creates problems and so one thing that you can do to move your healing forward is stop the damage that emotional dysregulation does to your life by learning to calm emotional dysregulation you know once you tune into what it is you can predict when it's coming you can sort of feel that prodrome here it comes here it comes I'm about to go like and we call it the airplane taking off you keep the airplane on the ground you don't just you know take off into the sky emotionally about things how many times have you been in a situation where you had a reaction that damaged the relationship and and how many times were you trying to talk about something that had hurt your feelings but the whole conversation became about how you expressed yourself so that's what's going to keep happening until you can learn to bring that down learn to self-regulate on those emotions now a lot of people will try to argue with me and go feeling your feelings is so important and it is feeling your feelings is so important but feeling your dysregulation is destructive emotional dysregulation is is like feelings on steroids and you want the steroids out so that you can have more authentic feelings you can communicate with them you can have a reasonable hope that people can hear what you're saying and respond to you like everything in life depends on relationships where that can happen don't worry I will talk about Solutions I will tell you how to learn to emotionally self-regulate I have tools for that I have videos for that I have courses for it and I'll summarize it for you in this video but I just want to go through these 10 Things I just want to list them and tell you a little bit about them these are 10 things that you can work on in yourself to support your trauma healing all right number two is save your social and romantic energy for people who can reciprocate so this is what happens a lot for people with cptsd and especially when you were neglected and so you end up with an attachment wound that is sort of like walking around like a like a thing in front of you that's always sort of doing the talking for you and what an attachment wound like let's say that you were emotionally neglected or abandoned by your parents which would be really common for people with cptsd then there's the you know exterior conversation that normal people have hi how's it going what's your name tell me what you're interested in you might go on a date with them you might start becoming friends but then there's other aspect of you comes out the attachment wound comes out and starts talking like are you going to leave me can I trust you what you just said you didn't text back you know I texted you you didn't text back in six hours that kind of thing can just destroy relationships and when your relationships won't hold your life becomes very trauma driven so having good friendships and a romantic relationship that's healthy those are both the fruit of linear trauma they're also kind of necessary for healing your trauma you don't have to have a romantic relationship in progress right now to heal trauma and in fact if you've got a bad relationship that can block your progress but to find people who can reciprocate means you get to be socially nourished and you get to stop having the feeling of being um rejected abandoned you know stonewalled when you communicate which is something you may have had a lot of when you were a kid and when it happens it may send you into a bad place right back to my first point which is emotional dysregulation so part of that is changing how we handle people and part of it is choosing people who are capable of being reciprocal with us there's this attraction to unavailable people that is so common for kids who are neglected and abused it often goes with a kid who had an alcoholic parent and you know we just get so good at it we just get so good at seeing love where there is no love and finding reasons to stay in a relationship when we're not really getting anything more than crumbs right all right third thing is get really good at ending relationships with people who are like that who let you down who breadcrumb you who are dysfunctional who are destructive and definitely people who are abusive it's time to go it's time to go and ending relationships is something that can be hard for people with with childhood PTSD one of the big reasons is because there's an abandonment wound there and uh there's this concept that I learned from Pete Walker that just like I mean really like lit this up for me he calls it abandonment melange and it's this very intense emotional experience that comes when um abandonment is experienced when somebody says I'm breaking up with you or sometimes even when they just don't call you back for a while there's this emotional it I call it a cocktail because it does it or it feels like a drug I mean literally it can feel like a drug is coming over you where you just go oh no here we go into the very very bad place and the bad place is made of Rage like intense fear and terrible sadness and they're happening all at once and if you before you know what that is when it visits you sometimes this is if you're abandoned as a kid chances are you get abandonment melange it's a French word it means mashup you know and if you get that you probably were blaming yourself just going what's wrong with me or you think it's real and you're just like this is truly that Dreadful it's so bad and you may have had people diagnose you as all these things but it's just abandonment melange and the minute you have a word for it I would say about half the intensity can come off because what you do when it happens if you can catch it you go oh oh this is that thing I heard about in Anna's video it's abandonment melange that's what's happening an abandonment melange it Peaks and then it passes and so it will pass it will pass it's sad it's sad when somebody breaks up with you there's there's stuff to get through with that but that part of you that reacts to it way too intensely that is abandonment melange and it and it it goes up and it comes down and when it's going up and you go this is abandonment melange you can stop it right there and put it on its downward Journey right away very very powerful change is available to you when you can do that number four is to choose friends who are working on themselves and who do things with their lives that you admire even when it's scary I know how scary it can be to associate with people who have their head kind of on straight that is kind of threatening it can bring up a lot of Shame for a person with cptsd it's you know we know about this it's a it's a little Loop that that we can go into but I teach tools where you can reduce that fearful resentful response I'll tell you at the end of this video so that you can kind of open up a little bit and start to be friends with people whose lives you admire so either they're already there or they are working on themselves because what's really hard is when you work on yourself and let's say um you know if you were to like take one of my courses or start therapy or you know read a book that was really helpful to you to start changing your life you will have people in your life so-called friends who are like oh my God you're not doing that stupid thing again you didn't stop drinking did you oh now you're look at Miss Goody Goody so you get this antagonism towards healing have you had that happen before every you know it's just part of the deal you can expect it and when you know it's coming you can go aha somebody's just revealed themselves to me as a friend who fits in my life when I'm really screwed up but who's taking themselves out when I start to get better and So eventually you will meet friends who match you when when you start to change kind of you know the your your place in life your vibration if you will you know when you start functioning better you're naturally going to find people who are functioning better but you can start seeking them out now and I I highly recommend it uh I I went to Al-Anon for many years and that's a place for people who are affected by Family alcoholism which I certainly was and I got so much help there I loved that I had a place to go and I met lots and lots of people working on themselves and I could learn from them some of them like I wanted what they had and some of them I was like I just don't like how they do this I don't want to do it that way which is all part of learning and I also watched people who just went and complained about stuff and never actually worked the program and that taught me a lot too I just noticed like who gets better and who doesn't in fact that's probably informing a lot of these 10 tips I'm giving you in this video I've I've been watching people you know groups of people work on healing for a long time and I've had my eye on the people I admire and I follow what they did what they did all right so I encourage you to do that all right number five is to find activities Hobbies you know stuff to do in your spare time that bring you growth so not just watching TV not just going out and having beers with everybody but ones that bring you growth there's always room to like veg out or have fun there's room for that but make sure that you're building into your life your growth and your growth could be emotional like hanging out with those good people that you've started to realize you admire it could be intellectual you could take a class you could read a book um or you could start to figure out ways to earn more money and I feel like people don't talk about like there's the category of people who talk about earning money and it's all about that and then there's like emotional self-help and and PTSD and I'll tell you what you know if you have PTSD chances are you have money problems and it's really really powerful to start to straighten those money problems out I've been talking about money problems debt and healing all of that in recent videos I feel very strongly that one of the most powerful ways that you can have a great life and overcome your trauma is to have enough money that you have choices so you never have to like cling to a relationship just so that you have a place to live or stay in a marriage just because you have no way to support yourself like learning to make money is self-empowerment and yes there are so many obstacles to doing that but actually when you're learning to treat your cptsd symptoms in particular mental dysregulation which can affect your ability to show up be in good spirit it's give your best every day an emotional dysregulation which can no matter how good a job you just did if you shoot your mouth off and have a big fight with the boss well that's going to limit your Career Success too and your income so I really want to emphasize that you know you do hobbies and and reading and learning that are focused on your growth never stop doing that that's what people do who want to have a happy life trauma or no trauma but if you grew up traumatized there's probably some deficits there some delays in learning so you get to catch up now and it's powerful it's fun and it tends to help you find people who have similar interests or when you do meet them like if you go to a party and you haven't been reading any books there's only so much you can talk about but if you go to a party and you've been reading a bunch of books and you've got a bunch of new ideas and you're inspired about something you will be a very interesting conversation partner and it will tend to you know make you interesting to talk to for other people who can teach do things who can open doors for you all very good valuable important and I'm not talking about being fake I'm about allowing yourself to finally be you so if you notice you have resentment at people who have money or about the idea of making money or a feeling of helplessness that that can never happen for you I'm going to really encourage you to use my techniques for dealing with fear and resentment it's the daily practice it's a free course it's down in the description section I said I'd tell you at the end of the video but it just keeps coming up there's a lot of sort of excess feeling and reaction to things when in having cptsd I know because I have cptsd and this is what I do I get it out of my head onto paper ask for it to be removed you can release it as well rest in meditation and then you have space in your mind again and you have to keep doing it it's a daily practice it's not just like the transformation of your life one time the day somebody told you this and you sit down for 10 minutes it's something that feels good to do on an ongoing basis just like eating is something that you need to keep doing you get hungry again well your brain gets dysregulated and negative again so it's a way that you can just keep it it's like hygiene for your negativity it's hygiene for your for your rage for your Panic for your self-doubt for your resentment at others for your perception that I can't do this there you know I'm not I'm not one of those people who's like you can do anything it's like nobody can do anything come on and some of us actually have some difficulties that are you know are probably not going to go away real fast but there's so much that can go away really fast so when you can just start moving I call it WD-40 for your soul you know you can it gets Rusty in there you're just like I can't I'm no good at this I'll never have what I want and you do the daily practice and you're like well maybe let me give it a try so that's a transformation that's worth a lot okay so number six when you're looking for people to have in your life look for people who are wise and fair because I'm telling you if if you have childhood PTSD it's probably because you had parents who were sometimes not wise not fair they didn't teach you how to do things it's very very good to seek companions a boss a partner to seek people who are who are like good people and you can observe in them they're very fair to people they don't treat anyone badly they don't um pull rank on people in a hostile way they can teach you something because really what like every single person needs mentoring it so like how do I do life I didn't know I mean I I was 12 before I learned how to use a fork and a knife together and I was 30 before I found out that that it's not actually a good form of humor to just put people down I didn't know I I was sort of feral like that and I think a lot of people can relate to that uh my parents taught me a lot that was valuable but because there was alcoholism and they were very absorbed in the problems that came with that I just didn't get the memo I didn't know I didn't know like when should you have a party how should you invite people if somebody invites you to their party what should you say or do or how long should you wait before you thank somebody for a present when do you apologize I just I needed I used to hear about this thing Charm School I don't know if it still exists but I was like I need that I would I would have done anything to go to charm school and I actively would you know I'd go visit friends houses didn't want to bring them to my house but I go to friends houses when I was a kid and if their mom um you know was admirable to me I would you know I'd be watching like a hawk how does she do it how does she use silverware where do you put the plates on the table what tone of voice do you use how much should you intrude on a conversation and when should you sit back you know how much can you tell people to do like I didn't know any of it so you seek out people who you can learn from but who are morally good people they're kind they're Fair they're wise because this is a vulnerability for people with cptsd there's been so much like crap fit where you fit yourself to crap you learn to tolerate you know maybe your parents were doing something Shady or illegal maybe they were abusing you and you learn to start compartmentalizing anti-social Behavior like that to so that you could still love your parents and still have this possibility like we're a good family right like a kid needs to believe that but when you grow up you start to you have to have some discernment about that like that's not right I need to be honest you know when I am at the cash register and they accidentally give me change for a 20 when I gave them a 10 I'm going to say something I'm not going to walk away with that you know like like when that happens if you walk away and you're like yes you know I got extra ten dollars but there's this little part of your spirit that just goes um you know I'm not that great a person you know some little shopkeeper I got their money I trade I got the better of them you will feel so good about yourself to be honest in those situations and I hate to tell you it means being honest on your taxes it means apologizing when you've offended somebody even though you think they shouldn't have been offended and that's not the same as you know groveling or pretending you're you know it's nothing like that but when somebody's just like hey you know you didn't call me back and you think to yourself well how could I have you knew I was driving well this time you handle it differently and you're like oh I'm really sorry I didn't I I wish I hadn't made you feel that way um I'm here now I hope you can forgive me so you go ahead and you attend to these things like a good person does so I have a lot of videos on that I have my connection course where I teach you it's like charm school for people who call it Charm School school for feral girls that was the original name of crappy childhood Fairy before I ever published anything and I was like yeah it's a little bit judgmental but I still feel like that it's charm school and I teach about like how to make an apology um how to gradually get to know somebody how to be measured and how much you tell yourself about people as you get to know them it's things like that how to connect with people and how to stop making some of the mistakes that traumatized people make easily but the moral thing if you grew up with with complex PTSD it can be really easy to sort of crap fit in people who are you know they're dodgy they may not treat you great you the first thing you'll notice is they don't treat other people great they exaggerate things like they'll say um you know oh you know well I spent I spent some money but it was only like 20 bucks and you see the receipt and it was like 31 right that kind of thing oh it was hardly anything you know it was just yeah that kind of exaggerating like you don't want to do that yourself and you want to be aware of people who do that because what that is is it's a moral fuzziness and it's where the bad stuff gets in in your friendships and romantic relationships is people who don't have the Integrity to be very straightforward and to sometimes do the thing you know to give up that ten dollars they could have and to be straightforward about the money that was spent you know so that that they're willing to face the consequences for their actions and because they can predict consequences they take actions that they will feel good about later those are the people like you will be so affected by the people you choose as friends so choose them well I think that's what I'm getting at all right so number six is to seek to be a generous person and by generous I don't just mean that you give things to people but charitable charitable means you know just give people the benefit of the doubt when somebody let's say somebody has made that they have exaggerated about the money you you can confront them right there if you mean to but if you if you were going to be charitable you can just sort of go um and then you note the change and you make a decision if you want that person in your life but to always be pressuring and graping on people and then stay with them turns you into a person you don't want to be all right where you're crap fitting and you're constantly angry at the at the other person for not being who you imagined and expected and hoped they would be when you first met them have you done that and that is a source of chronic stress and misery in life is to stay in relationships that just really really let you down but to keep thinking the problem is that the other person doesn't care enough to change well maybe they don't care enough to change but your problem is that you don't care enough to leave you are choosing to stay when all the writing is on the wall to tell you what kind of a person they are so for you you don't have to just sit there and tear people a new one all day long because they let you down you can reserve your social energy your love for people who are also generous and charitable and willing to be kind and give you the benefit of the doubt and not jerk you around about money or facts or anything you seek out those people and then just generally as a rule be considerate be cooperative be the person who gives somebody a seat on the bus be the person who picks up the piece of litter that's just kicking around the middle of the sidewalk you you you're a mensch so you will feel good about yourself when you begin to step into that role and out of the role of like I can't believe people litter so much I can't believe everybody that person's just looking at me like they want to see but I was here first like just even being in that space it's actually kicking up your trauma it's kicking up your identity as a traumatized person so sometimes while you're healing all that stuff you really can start to you can sort of open up a path in front of you by behaving as if you're a person who's already got that worked out so kind and generous and I'm not I'm not saying give your money away um when you want to you can for a lot of us that's a problem right so I'm not really commenting on that but I mean generosity of spirit and in these last two points when you're thinking about you know who you associate with with are they wise and high integrity people and are you kind and generous and also wise and high integrity as you're doing that how you can start to evaluate your friendships so you can stop having these destructive friendships and these disappointing relationships is you can ask yourself how do I feel after I hang out with this person do you feel energized do you feel kind of inspired and like you know what I want to get my life together that is a very good sign all right if you feel just kind of like electrified and high that might not be the same thing that could be like um you know having a crush on somebody but having a crush absent of a gut check on whether this person helps you feel more positive more inspired more energized some people and you can you know with cptsd it's so easy to just like ignore that and go well I guess it's just me but you hang out with them and you just you feel bad about yourself you feel drained right and that's a sign that's a sign too that's like yeah that's that's not really like a good spot for you so you can start to pay attention to those signals you do have to take your your feelings with a grain of salt when you're still in early healing because a lot of times you know you're like you're having a emotional flashback about somebody somebody offers you a seat on the bus right and then it it just trigger something in you and you just start to feel enraged or you start to feel in danger like PTSD can visit these feelings on you that aren't really connected with what's happening so you hold them lightly you work your tools and you make sure that you're surrounded with trustworthy people who are also on a path of healing so that they can give you a reality check when it's confusing and it is confusing a lot right all right number eight when a good relationship has broken down even when it's plain to you how the other person contributed to the problem don't tear them a new one if you need to say something keep it minimal you can say just enough to explain your position do the work to determine what your part was especially if this is a pattern for you do what you can to change that part of yourself if you need to and apologize to the other person you will get to a point in your healing when you will be able to apologize to people for your part in something without even bringing up their part in it that is Elegance ladies and gentlemen that is how you become a great person where I mean what really is our agenda when we just tell somebody the 27 reasons why they suck what's our agenda on that we're venting we want to get back at them like first of all if you have 27 reasons and you're staying with that person here's the problem here's the problem once you decide to leave you don't have to tell people every single reason why why you're leaving but you tell you can tell them enough I mean if they're an abusive person you get out you get help from a domestic violence shelter there's no need to tell them anything but I'm talking about relationships where everybody tried everybody's like basically a good person but you know it just didn't go well and they hurt you and they did stuff that drove you crazy and they really let you down you just don't need to give them all the reasons so you just sort of say I guess I felt I felt let down a lot but you don't have to go for example there was that time right it feels like it's going to be satisfying but it's not because when you go into that first of all it doesn't help the other person as long as you're setting your boundary and you're not going to be in their life that's the information if they ask you more questions well can you be specific you can tell them a little bit but basically you know be kind be judicious don't just dump on them about everything so a lot of us were conditioned by therapists who didn't know better that you know you need to really go confront people about everything but hey that's not always safe B it's not is seldom fruitful and C it's going to kick up your cptsd triggers it's going to start triggering all that dysregulation and when you're dysregulated you might not have the power to keep on walking away from that relationship so you know sometimes people call it gray rocking somebody that's like an extreme version where you you just don't give them anything thing so that's sometimes that's in order but check your agenda do you really need to hurt somebody or do you just need to have it be over have a boundary or not have something happen again and stay focused on that thing that you really need people are more fragile than you think um for a lot of us with cptsd when we do walk around hurt like I used to think when I was younger I used to think that girls were just always the victim of boys and boys just held all the cards well then I got to have closer relationships with boys and some of them feel that way about girls wise people know that it's a dance between all people and that having power has a lot to do with having discernment about where you want to be and having the willingness to walk away so when you can do your exits you know gently kindly you will be walking through a world where nobody is destroyed by you they're able to move on on their own you're able to move on this is good and for you with PTSD symptoms it keeps them kind of it keeps them in their Lane the symptoms you know I'm going to try to head off anybody who's like no you need to feel that and I'm going to say no you don't if you have emotional dysregulation if your brain goes offline your left front cortex is going dim you can't reason your emotions are going wild this is the mental space where the most damage gets done where terrible decisions get made where you lash out or worse so everything about healing you know the priority is always like your self-regulation from your self-regulated place you can decide do I need to say this if I need to say should I run it by a mentor or a friend first if I do say it does it have to be right this second or could I do it tomorrow when I've had more time to kind of digest it the latter the ladder you are able to like reason your problems out but not always in the minute because that's what cptsd does is compromises that number nine is yes acknowledge the suffering you've been through you suffered a lot has happened to you you have symptoms as a result it's you can't always know exactly what's the cause and what's the effect and I would encourage you don't worry about it too much Focus now on healing your symptoms Focus now on the things you can change the reason is because when we focus so much on what happened and you may have been encouraged to do that you may have been told that would be therapeutic to just like keep talking about it week after week year after year if that didn't work for you well you would be like me that didn't work for me talking about all that stuff was really bringing me down and it was keeping my focus on things that I literally had no control over which is a Time past and things other people did and I there was so much potential that was just passing me by the years were going by where I might have made constructive changes in my life but I wasn't making them I kept waiting for my focus on the trauma talking about the trauma the sad stories um the you know I had sad stories I had stuff happen to me that I could tell anybody I could tell you I could tell a therapist and people would go oh my god wow it's amazing you survived and so at first it's really validating to hear that yes it is amazing we survived it is terrible but it's not going to get you to where you're making money you're having healthy relationships like that's the process that you're in charge of and so if you really want to heal from your trauma this is the path I want to put in front of you yes acknowledge what happened and then move towards what's going on in you right now what do you need to notice regulate change improve stop doing start doing your whole life is ahead of you however long that may be there's so much potential for you if you can show up for these questions and start paying attention to it the possibilities of your life are I guarantee you they are they're there you cannot see them yet you can't see them yet because until you have a regulated mind it's not possible to have that kind of Future Vision it's not possible to imagine yourself in that good situation when you're in the middle of dysregulation in whatever form it takes whether you kind of space out you know it's drugs it's um limerent relationships where you're just like I'm out I'm out food right I was talking to my friend about that out last night you know like what is overeating when we overeat it's like it's like screw you I'm out we want to escape right and so we escape because we can't cope with the triggers so healing from trauma is not about like exploring those triggers for the rest of your life it's about saying I get triggered here are the signs that it's happening I gotta get untriggered before I start doing my whole shtick now for you it might be escaping it might be trying to control things where you get in there and you're like that's it you know we're never everybody tell everybody what to do Escape control or cling it's like please please don't leave please you know just let me stay in this terrible situation because I can't I just cannot deal with what I know emotionally is coming for me if I if I get left so you're imprisoned by all these reactions these trauma reactions are completely have you locked in where you are right now so you work on the trauma reaction and you can deal with it on several levels because it's emotional it's psychological it's spiritual it's physiological so whatever one is accessible to you or sort of interesting to you you start there you can start anywhere around what you know how you view this problem but when you can start to deal with the triggers that set off your cptsd symptoms guess what you don't have cptsd symptoms ah you always will sometimes but not so much not so often not so intensely and then when they do happen you'll know how to come back from it and then your life really opens up for you so number 10 is seek out and practice techniques that help you do that change in yourself that help you bring your symptoms down reduce the triggers change your response to things so that you have a choice between stimulus and response something happens you're like oh boy eyes freaking me out you take that symptom down then you respond this is your superpower this is what I encourage you to work on so that's number 10 if you need a way to work on it the way I did it the way way I was shown 29 years ago still teaching the whole world on this channel like in every single video It's called The Daily practice it's a free course you can learn and try the techniques in less than an hour I just updated this course it's got now like 25 FAQ videos and there's a download and there's free Zoom calls and the great joy of my life is getting on the zoom calls every two weeks and talking to people like you answering questions providing encouragement enjoying watching the changes in everyone's life as they finally have a tool to take that that intensity and funnel it out of their heads and hearts and onto paper and make a space where they can start to grow their lives it's so wonderful so perhaps you'd like to join me on those calls and in that course I would love to have you there if you love this topic and you want to just have a picture in front of you about what healing looks like what it feels like I've got this video for you right here and I will see you very soon [Music] thank you

Channel: Crappy Childhood Fairy

Views: 218,315

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Id: 6yQEyDkACoc

Length: 35min 49sec (2149 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 13 2023