Top 5x Fluffy Protects and Serves | Gabriel Iglesias

I'm sure at home and I'm sure a lot of you guys are wondering what's going on Gabriel okay you get a TV show why would you want to do it in Phoenix Arizona you know especially with everything that's going on why would you take a chance let me tell you why okay we've been touring with Comedy Central all over the country 50 states you guys in a tour bus every city every state has been amazing everything was going so smooth until we passed through Phoenix I got to tell tell you what happened okay we're on our way to California and in between the two you know there's a checkpoint where they're looking for illegals narcotics weapons or all three if you're convenient and we're rolling through it's pretty good huh anyway I know I did a good bus cuz when I went she's like this all right he's really good it's really good I saw the bus I saw it anyways it's uh it's early in the morning and we're rolling through and we get pulled over and the immigration officer walks over the window and you know our driver you know he's like what's going on here and our driver right it's cool dude named Dave he's been driving tour buses for like 30 years he's old and white and he doesn't care like his favorite line is I don't give good old Dave right so the officer's like what's going on and Dave is like it's a comedian Gabriel glacius and his Entourage of comedians it's sponsored by Comedy Central it's legit and as they're talking we hear this outside hold on our dog has just informed us that there is something inside this tour bus that is not supposed to be here and our driver looks at the immigration officer and he says is that what he said goddamn Scooby-Doo and we're in the back having a heart attack Dave you're going to get us arrested I don't give next thing you know they asked the representative of the tour bus to get off so my name and my face are on the side of the bus door pops open and greeted by an immigration officer with the last name Sanchez traitor not only did he recognize me the guy was Star Struck cuz as soon as he saw me he was like and when I saw that I said oh this is going to be easy right we'll take some pictures I'll sign some autographs and we'll go mm here comes the other guy with the dog right hey what's in the bus and I look at Sanchez and he's still h I didn't think nothing of it you know he's like what's on the bus I'm like just more Mexicans you know I didn't know right I knew I messed up cuz I look at Sanchez and he's like next thing you hear freaking everybody off the bus we get Martin my friend Alfred my friend Noy we get one little two little three little Mexicans four little five little six everybody off the bus and then they put us up against the side of the bus so they could Frisk us for Narcotics and weapons guys in the back show the picture now notice notice you don't see a white bus driver in the picture it's cuz he took the picture apparently even after talking smack to immigration he was still considered an innocent bystander you guys can you show the next one that's Sanchez traitor show the next one there's a dog and there's where we threw it trust me they did not catch me with anything cuz my guys are fast hell yeah if they would have popped me with something on that freaking tour bus are you kidding you guys would have heard all about it that sucker would have been on TMZ freaking uhoh Fluffy's doing puffy I'm going to tell you guys the saddest part of that whole situ situation was being on the side of the road being harassed by immigration okay meanwhile there are cars driving past the same checkpoint and I'm getting recognized and not only am I fairly recognizable from almost any angle I'm touching a bus that has my name in my face to confirm that's who we thought it was so I'm against the bus and this guy's got his hand on my butt and meanwhile from behind I hear this fluffy he's [Applause] American [Applause] damn you can't have oh seriously around here you got to be careful cuz the police here in Baker field they don't mess around they will stop you for anything man they got me outside you what are you doing walking but I noticed something though if you can make a cop laugh they will work with you but you got to really make them laugh you can't just make them go ah you got to make them you know you know I made a cop laugh so hard one time he almost peed on himself I know this cuz he told me he was like you don't understand I damn near pissed myself and here in Bakersville mad is no different man I I've had a I love every part of this town I even love oale oh yeah and for everybody watching at home going what the hell is [Applause] oale but I still love it guys I still love it in the last show that I did I did a bunch of references to police officers and they weren't exactly flattering references or jokes you know I was just kind of like saying you know the whole donut thing and um apparently they became fans in some weird way because I started getting phone calls to do police functions in December I had five Christmas parties I got a phone call from my agent he's like Gabe check it out CHP California Highway Patrol wants to hire you to do a show I go really what does it pay they want you to donate your time I think I'm [Music] busy they told me to let you know you have a warrant in the City of Fresno California I'm like oh they're good so I did the show and I'm going to tell you guys right now I'm going to tell you guys right now it was one of the scariest shows I ever did a room full of nothing but cops everybody's drinking a lot and I'm scared because if they get ghetto who do I call you know I got to go out in the parking lot and find some gang member hey back me up so the show went good it went so good that they asked me to do another show in California in San Diego for the California Highway Patrol border Division and I tried to make up an excuse that my car wasn't working right they said no worries we understand they sent a patrol car to my house with a freaking uniformed officer and I was like oh my God best part was I didn't tell my family he was coming oh yeah sometimes you have to create your own entertainment it was hysterical 5:00 rolled around I'm like he should be here any minute sure enough Frankie Frankie can you get the door please okay Gabriel so he goes to the door comes back and he's got like you know he's like Gabriel Gabriel the police are here why are you Whispering cuz something's going to happen when he said that I'm like oh I got to freaking let him have it now right I said oh my God Frankie they found me who do you mean I got to go Frankie I got to go take care of your mom for me okay I love you I love you no I got to go Frankie and I saw the officer I said pretend you're arresting me I want to freak out my kid no problem turn around and put your hands behind your back I can't reach just hold my hand walk me to the car just walk me to the car come on just walk me to the car he doesn't know the the difference dude just walk me the freaking car come on I get to the cop car he throws me in the back seat right and slams the door and I ask him is it okay if I yell out the window to freak out my kid you want to use the microphone yeah freaking here you go sir and he hands you the microphone and I said Frankie this is the police we have your father we're coming back for you in 1 hour do your homework 1 minute later my girlfriend calls me you're ass what's he doing he's doing his homework that's called parenting [Applause] baby that's what I say you just got to be careful you know and if you're going to drink and you are thinking about driving don't do it you know it's not a good idea cuz like I say you know when you're drunk you know when you're drunk you're doing laps in the parking lot and you can't find the exit hello some of you make it out to the streets you know when you're drunk you're like you know behind you you hear shut up stupid you know if you hear if you hear the magical sound one of two things will pop into your head either one I'm okay I'm fine I can beat this or two I'm going to go to jail I'm going to go to jail I'm going to go to jail I got to let you go babe I'm going to go to jail tell the kids they love him man I'm going to tell you right now again if you can make the police laugh you have a chance if you do get pulled over for drunk driving okay pull over as slowly and as safely as you can get over the now if you know for a fact that you are going to go to jail okay you're already I'm gone have a little fun I don't mean take off in a highspeed Pursuit no no no no don't do that cuz you're not going to get very far I mean if you're drunk and you know you're going to go to jail you know and you have tinted windows have a little extra fun take off your seat Bel jump over to the passenger side throw your seat Bel back on and just wait for the cop you have no idea how bad you're going to throw his ass off you guys he's going to come over to the driver's side with a flashlight you're sitting there n he was here a second ago I don't know where he went excuse me what me drive oh hell no I'm [ __ ] up I took a I took a road trip about a year ago at after I got rid of the beetle in the SUV took a road trip from LA to Phoenix to go perform at this club let me tell you who's in the car I'm driving I got my buddy Armando riding shotgun he's another fluffy guy we call him sexy [ __ ] I don't call him that his wife calls him that he's a sexy bit anyway in the backseat I got my friend Martin next to him is my friend Philipe so we take off we're on the 10 freeway we're passing all these Indian casinos sorry we're stupid like that anyway all of a sudden all these cars start passing me right I'm getting annoyed cuz I'm driving a I said next car that tries to pass me I'm not going to let him so I'm looking in the rear viw mirror waiting looking waiting waiting and I see a silver dot the silver dot turned out to be a little car with two hoochies in it right some of you guys are going how do you know they're hoochi cuz my friend Martin was in the backseat going I feel a disturbance in the force they tried to go around and I cut them off I'm having fun they're back there whatever my friend Philipe is in the back seat yelling at me fo what are you doing I go dude don't worry I'm having fun G you're going to get pulled over dude I'm okay it's cool we're arguing going back and forth I'm not paying attention I don't see a California highway patrol officer creeping up on us all of us sudden I hear I look at the speedometer 102 oh I freaked out the little car that was behind me with the two hoochi they got pulled over cuz they were going just as fast you know I'm in the front seat of my car freaking out oh my God I'm going to go to jail keep believe I'm on the verge of tears from the back seat I hear my friend Felipe what crying for what are you crying for fool you're not the one with weed in his pocket are you you have drugs in the car I told you to slow down didn't I but no Pikachu knows everything shoot everybody roll down your window I hurt the car Mando fart do something man go the cop walks over the window looks in sees my face recognizes me from TV right he's like hey I know you you're a comedian yeah you're that guy from Comedy Central you're the guy that does that joke about his friend at a hotel and you crank call him and you call him a dirty Mexican and then you go but it was funny huh oh I love that joke that one and when you go chocolate cake oh I love that joke I hate to do this to you but we got two cars involved I need your license and registration okay here you go here you go so he takes my info goes back to the car with the two girls in it right the whole time he's back there I tell everybody in the car check it out he just recognize me from TV maybe if we have some fun with him crack some jokes maybe he won't take the car I don't care if I get a ticket but as long as he doesn't take the car M be silly crack a joke my theme be funny Felipe what fool shut the hell up so the cow comes back to the car what the hell were you doing out there before I could think of something funny to say from the backseat I hear oh he was testing a suspense mention oh my God this pothe head's going to get me arrested officer I'm sorry that's my friend Felipe that's the guy from the special that's the guy who says but it was funny huh he's just trying to get me in trouble I'm really sorry whatever so he goes back to a squad car with my driver's license and he's swiping it in a computer the whole time he's doing that he's being yelled at from the back seat of my car hey officer thank God you have a computer last week we got stopped in Mexico that fool had a Rolodex the cop starts dying I go oh we got him going we got him going I told my buddy Mando give me my CDs I take out my Bad Boys 2 soundtrack and I pop it in track three is the theme song to Cops I tell my friend Felipe tell them when the cop starts walking okay F here he comes I crank that song as loud as I could bad boys why you gone why you going what you going to [Music] do best part now the cop is walking to the [Music] beat even better than that the two hoochies in the car can hear the music and they're freaking out they're like oh my God we're going to be on TV the cop goes to the girls gives them a ticket lets them go looks at our car and at this point we're like halfway through the song right we're like it got our arms up the window like a bunch of idiots the cop is in the middle of the freeway dying he walks over to the window and he's like shut it up yes sir hands me my license in the registration and he tells me Gabriel I want you to do me a big favor I want you to keep this tank under a 100 you think you can do that do that for me keep on doing what you do and you have yourself a nice day that's it no ticket no ticket I don't know what possessed me to look at this man and go why how come the girls got a ticket and he tells me the coolest thing he says cuz they couldn't make me [Applause] laugh you don't understand Gabriel I've been on the force now for 26 years this is hands down the funniest damn traffic stop I've ever been a part of do you have any idea how hard it is to give two [ __ ] a ticket while listening to Cops I damn near pissed myself I was laughing so hard this is going in the books is one of the funniest things ever happened to a police officer I swear to God the only story better than this one is a buddy of mine pulled over some fat guy that gave him donuts [Applause] so he starts walking away right and just as I'm about to start the car so does that mean I can keep my weed I turn around to yell at my friend too late the cop is at the window you want to run that by me again son you heard what I said fool oh you think this a big joke don't you you think that just cuz I gave your buddy here a break I know who he is I like what he does I don't know you I don't like you step out of the car I turn around and my friend Philipe is like w i so scared and the cop pulls out his gun I'm freaking out I'm like oh my God back seat my friend Felipe oo oo ooh I am so scared oh he's good he is good then he points it at him the look on my friend filipe's face Priceless are you serious are you serious I'm going to go to jail I'm going to go to jail the cop was like sh nah but that was funny huh [Applause]

Channel: Gabriel Iglesias

Views: 572,465

Keywords: George Lopez, Alfred robles, Paul Rodriguez, Gabriel Iglesias, Mr. Iglesias, Fluffy

Id: N5v5DAl4jO4

Length: 21min 26sec (1286 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 27 2024