You know who had
a ridiculous dream and people laughed
at him? You? -[Snickers]
-What? Oh, I did not mean that
the way it sounded. Uh, how's Monday? Today is Friday. Phew, I'm buried all day
and have plans tonight. So you can finish tonight
and have plans all weekend. She's going to
find out. What? [Sighs] Maybe if you invite me,
you can have till Tuesday. We now all know you don't have
plans for Valentine's Day. Oh. She has plans.
Look at her calendar. "February 14th --
masturbate gloomily." [Elevator bell dings] Monday is fine. Come on in, Burt. Have a seat. What is this, a bed? Yeah. You might want to lie down
because here we are again. Well, I haven't forgotten
anything, not a damn thing. A lot of times in life,
you get to do something and you don't realize until it's
over how much you enjoyed it. And you swear that the next time
it comes around, you're going to
remember that. You're right. And I think I could work
with you, too. Work? No, Burt,
I'm letting you go again. What the hell? Y-Y-You can't do that. It probably doesn't
make a difference at this point,
but no one fought for you. Well, we'll see what
the folks at Chevy
have to say about this. Remember Ken Cosgrove? Like a six-foot version
of Alan Ladd? He's touring the plant
right now. You bastard. I've got $4 million
in billings. What have<i> you</i> got? I was thinking
you would feel that way, that you had more clients
and that gives you a voice. Hm. I was imagining you
talking over me in meetings. Now I don't have
that problem. My clients will leave
with me. [Chuckles] No one will ever say
you weren't funny, Burt. Well,
I'll tell you one thing. I'm expecting
some kind of severance. Who knows? We're really hurting.
We're having to cut back. Well, obviously. God, you're a real prick.
You know that? Damn it, Burt,
you stole my goodbye. [Door opens] Happy Birthday, babe. [Cheers and applause] [Whistles] Why don't you sing
like that? Why don't you
look like him? [Cheers and applause continue] How dare you
laugh at this? What, did she just put it there
and forget about it? [Laughs]
It was Edwin's idea. Impossible.
He would never. He didn't ask you because
he thinks you're a homo. I can't believe the hours
I've put into helping you become the monster
you've become. I was doing my job. It was my account! <i> Your</i> account. You have no idea
what you're doing. In fact, as far as I can tell,
our need for you disappeared the day after you
fired us. Mr. Campbell. That'll be enough
of that. Mr. Campbell, you and I are
going to address that insult. Are you kidding me? No. You're a grimy
little pimp. Soon as I raise my hands, I warn you,
it shall be too late to run. The real problem is that
your former wife failed to submit applications
to other schools. That was careless
and arrogant. -What?
-How dare you? I think we've said
all there is to say. We're not leaving until
you apologize to Trudy. Peter,
it doesn't matter. Einstein. Would you like
to step outside? Are you sure you wouldn't
rather get me while I'm sleeping,
like a real Campbell? Are you kidding me? No MacDonald will ever mix
with a Campbell. [Scoffs] What are you
talking about? It's some stupid story. It's 300 years old.
He's obviously nuts. You should know
that his clan took advantage of the gift
of hospitality and murdered my ancestors
while they slept. The king ordered it. Just be grateful you can remarry
and get rid of that name. [Gasps] Come on, Trudy. Another sucker punch
from the Campbells. Coward. [Telephone rings] [Laughing] Mm. Hey, Brooklyn,
come home with me. Nuh-unh. Why not?
I live alone. Why should I? Because I like you,
and we're having a good time. And I'm a good kisser. And you know you want to. [Chuckles] Eugene. I'm in
the persuasion business, and, frankly, I'm disappointed
by your presentation. ♪♪ Oh, come on. ♪♪ [Elevator bell dings] [Button clicks,
elevator doors close] I don't know if you heard,
but I fired Joey, I did. Good for you. Excuse me? Now everybody
in the office will know that you solved my problem
and that you must be really important,
I guess. What's wrong
with you? I defended you. You defended yourself. Fine. That cartoon was disgusting. I had already handled it, and if I wanted
to go further, one dinner with Mr. Kreutzer
from Sugarberry ham and Joy would've been off it
and out of my hair. So?
It's the same result. You want to be a big shot. Well, no matter how powerful
we get around here, I can still
just draw a cartoon. So all you've done
is prove to them that I'm
a meaningless secretary and you're another
humorless bitch. [Elevator bell dings] Have a nice weekend.
Good night, Peggy. [Telephone rings] [Sighs] Hello? The article came out,
and we're not mentioned. What? It's a bullshit piece
on the usual assholes. He compares them
to philosophers. [Sighs] Hold on. Page 52. Hold on. Hold on. <i> 170 is the kicker.</i> [Sighs] Jesus, they look like
Peter, Paul and Mary. Why are they picking them? I don't know,
and I don't care. Maybe that's
the problem. You were the one
who talked to him for an hour. I thought he was
your best friend. You obviously made
no impression. He's a rat bastard. You know what? Don't wake me up and throw
your failures in my face. It's Sunday
for Christ's sake. Lou, I don't know
what you think you heard. I heard everything --
from your first fart to your last
dying breath. [Laughter] You think it's funny? I apologize deeply. What happened? Let me ask you, Peggy.
You ever heard of Underdog? The cartoon? Yeah. Sweet Polly Purebred
Saturday morning. It makes hundreds of thousands
of dollars a year, mostly for its creator, Chet
Stover of Dancer Fitzgerald. Did you know him there? He was nothing special. "Scout's Honor's"
a hundred times better. I can tell you
right now, it's a winner. You know who had
a ridiculous dream and people laughed
at him? You? -[Snickers]
-What? Oh, I did not mean that
the way it sounded. I -- I mean, if you're telling
us that this is your dream, I apologize for being
one of those naysaying idiots. I hate people like that. Bob Dylan. Is he hip enough for you? He was 20 years old when
he wrote "Blowin' in the Wind," and he's a genius. Look at where he is.
Look at where<i> you</i> are. You know what? You're a bunch
of flag burning snots. You've got a thing to learn
about patriotism and loyalty. The very fabric of "Scout's
Honor" is a joke to you. We're going to have
this meeting later. So ordered dinner because
I want finished work. And if any of you
don't like it, you can thank
your hilarious friends here. [Sighs] [Sighs] Can I help you, Bert? You've already done
all you can do. Snapped this place
into shape, expanded our business
while keeping it lean. Pending due diligence,
were done... at $11 dollars a share. Really? I believe
I would like a drink. [Chuckles] What do you drink? Do you have any brandy? No. Spirits of elderflower? No. I don't have
any laudanum either. Surprise me. Bob: 'Night, chief. Bob, could you get Joan?
And some ice. Absolutely. [Knock on door] [High-pitched voice]
Who is it? Thought I should come in
and tell you this in person. That kid?
Very, very cute prank. Caroline,
to be continued. That's a good idea. I've been to the CLIOs
before. We're going to want to
show up prepared. His book.
[Chuckles] It was filled
with old ads. [Chuckles] Plagiarism.
That's resourceful. He had five originals.
There were all the same thing. I told him to be himself. That was pretty mean,
I guess. [Both laugh] So,
when does he start? The first of never.
[Laughs] Well, you haven't been
married for a while, so you've probably forgotten
how these transactions work. If I don't hire
Jane's cousin, it's probably going to cost me
a personal gift expenditure of between
$500 and $1,000. When are we leaving? Right after Life Cereal. To new business. And victory
at the Waldorf. I mean it.
You deserve it. I wish you would come, Birdie, I'm a partner, 80% of my business
rolls out next week. It just seems silly for me
to go down there for a 12-hour
Thanksgiving. What about... Sally and Bobby's
childhood memories? There was no reason
you couldn't have it up here. You know my brother's children
are animals. They can't make
the trip up here. And I don't want my dad
to be alone. I'll take a cab
to the train. And William will pick us up,
probably in some new car. You know what?
I... I don't think
you<i> want</i> to go. I'm sorry.
Was I unclear about that? [Sighs] I don't understand why you can't
make my family your family. [Sighs] ♪♪ [Door closes] This is Don. <i> Hi.</i>
It's Walter Hoffman <i> from The New York Times.
I write the advertising column.</i> I know who you are.
What can I do for you, Walter? I just wanted to know
if you'd heard that Cutler, Gleason, and
Chaough just signed Clearasil. I don't keep track of accounts
once we resign them. I just think it's kind of
interesting that first CGC takes the Jai Alai association
from you and now this. <i> How do you explain it?</i> I don't think about it. Well, I talked to Ted Chaough
and he said, <i> "Every time Don Draper looks
in the rearview mirror,</i> <i> he sees me."</i> [Buzzer] Ida:<i> You have
a partners' luncheon.</i> What's your point? My point is,
do you have a response? On the record? Please. I've never heard of him. Anything else? No. Have a good day. [Sighs]
