("Dog on Fire") - Last year, I played
Horatio in Hamlet at the public theater
opposite Oscar Issac. (audience cheers and applauds) It was a dream come true. It was like coming home and a brand new dream
come true at the same time and I just want to be
able to do more of that. - That's amazing. Speaking of dreams coming true, my dream was to be in "The
Lion King" and I'm not. (Keegan and audience laughs) And I see that you are, you are going to be
in "The Lion King." - Oh, this one, oh, I am! I am gonna be in
"The Lion King." - You're gonna be
in "The Lion King." How the (bleep) did that happen? (audience laughs) - Can I just say
this for a second? Those cards felt really
comfortable in my hands. - You know, many
people, in fact, tried to reduce you to
just, you know, your fact, so they went, oh you're
getting successful just because you're Asian,
just because you're a woman, just because you're pregnant. - There was a guy, who,
I won't name names, he's not a very
successful comedian, so I don't even know if
you would know who he was. - [Trevor] No, I don't. - You wouldn't know. You're outta there now. But he came up to me while I was pregnant
the second time and he touched my belly
with his fat, sweaty hand, which is so gross to begin with. It's like why don't you
finger me while you're at it? This is so not okay. Just because I'm pregnant, doesn't mean it's okay
for you to touch my belly. And he was like, oh,
so this is your shtick, this is your thing, now, right? And I was like, getting pregnant is
not rainbow suspenders. It's not a shtick
and then he was like, "You're so lucky, Ali, because
you get all of this attention "'cause you're both a
female and a minority." And I was like, "Yeah,
'cause you know, "historically that's always
been the winning combo "for recognition and success." (audience laughs and applauds) And he was like, "You
know what I mean, "like me, I'm just
another white guy." And I was like, "Be
a better white guy." - Is there anything else
you wanna tell us about? 'Cause I just like
chatting to you. - Oh, I actually did wanna say that I hope that the fact that Between The Scenes has become
like a whole (beep) thing is something that
you're happy about and not like, I've gotta
do bonus interviews now, because Anna one time came after in Between The Scenes and
now it's like a whole thing. - No, no, but you're
the only person who refused to listen
to me when I said-- - It's not a thing? - Between The Scenes
is not a thing. - But now it's a thing,
so you're welcome. - Yes. (audience laughs and applauds) Thank you, Anna. - But I hope that's okay and
not just more work for you. - No, no, it's fine. - I can tell in your eyes
that you kind of hate it. - No, these are happy eyes. These are happy eyes. These are eyes that
enjoy doing more work, that's what these eyes are. - No, never, no, no, no! - Congratulations on another
season of Grey's Anatomy. The show's been going, how
many seasons has it been, now? - We just finished 15. - 15 seasons.
(audience cheers and applauds) - You've been doing
it for so long that I feel like you should
have an honorary degree. - I could be a fully
credited surgeon by now. - Do you think you know
enough fake medicine to do real medicine? - I could slow your death. (audience and Trevor laughs) I could buy you a
few extra minutes. But, you know what's
funny is that like, and I think I've
said this before, I've definitely had at least
two instances on a plane where somebody has gone, is
there a doctor on the plane, and then the flight attendant
looks directly at me, and it's like, lady, the
one thing you know about me, I'm like anybody
else on this flight, the one thing you know about
me is I'm not a doctor. (audience laughs) But it's like, you, you,
no, no, please don't. Fine, all right, just
go through the motions, I don't know what, this is
how bad of a doctor I am, I don't know.
- Is that how you do? - I'm just stretching
is what I'm doing. - That's your CPR? - This is like a little cabbage
patch or something, yeah. - That was a very sexy CPR. (audience laughs) That was like, yo, I know
you're not coming back to life, but you're going out happy. - I brought you
a little present. - You brought me a present?
- Yes. So I introduced a term. - Oh, you brought me a
little bag, I love bags! I got a bag, I love bags!
- A little gift bag. She always leaves a party
giving people gift bags. So back when we checked
in in the dressing room I taught you a term, the
term is gender (bleep). - All right, I've never
heard of that before. - Yeah, and it's not
what it sounds like, it's like playing
with your gender and having a damn good time. And so I brought you
some clip on earrings. - Oh wow. - Because I figured
you could use. - So I get to wear these?
- Yeah, so you see this is-- - You know what kills me
with clip-ons all the time is they give me headaches. But these one's aren't
tight, I promise. - Are you sure?
- They're good ones. - 'Cause a lot of the times
they'll give you headaches. - No, they're gentle!
(audience cheers and applauds) Look at that, wow! Trevor, this is, I mean like, I don't wanna be your
stylist right now and I don't wanna like,
you know, but I just, this is a look, you realize
this is a look, right? - You know what's
interesting for me, to your ideas of gender
and how we identify it and what signifies
gender around the world is in South Africa and
many African cultures men will wear earrings like
this and to your point, it doesn't, like no
one would be like, oh, that man is not man or is,
do you get what I'm saying? - Yeah.
- It's funny, 'cause like this I'm like, oh,
I look traditional right now. (audience laughs)
- Yes! - Like that's what I'm
thinking right now. Like if my grandmother
saw she'd be like, "Finally, he's connecting
with his roots!" Do you ever get bored of people asking you to
freestyle in real life? 'Cause let's be honest, you
have become the hip hop guy and now you have
the freestyle show and it's like so it's
freestyle and it's hip hop so I feel like everywhere
you go people are just like, "Oh my god, Lin, how are you?" ♪ It's a coffee mug, a boo
boo chee, a boo boo chee ♪ ♪ A boo boo chee,
a boo boo chee ♪ ♪ I love coffee
and I wanna say ♪ ♪ You drink it every
day, come on, Lin ♪ Be honest with me, how
many people do that to you? - Well, only reporters. (audience laughs and applauds) My new thing that I've done, and you could probably do
an amazing super cut on this 'cause you guys are
wizards at that is like, my new things is I say, I
will freestyle if you beatbox. So you could do a super
cut of reporters beatboxing just to get me to freestyle
and it's a lot of like little white ladies
being like (beatboxing). (audience laughs) - You are a Palestinian
Kuwaiti Muslim traveling the world with no
passport and you were like, "Yeah, I wanna try to do
this in more countries." - Yeah. (laughs) Well, I'm born to
Palestinian parents. - How many times
did you get stopped? - Every time, no,
it was every time to the point to when
I became a citizen and I was reentering America and he was like,
"Okay, go ahead." And I was like,
"No, are you sure? "I think there's another...
(audience laughs) "There's something else
that needs to happen here. "I feel awkward, can we just
talk for a little while?" (audience laughs) I'm serious, they did. I was like, "What's goin' on?" I was like, "No, we need
to chat a little bit." Like Japan was my favorite
interrogation I ever had, it was just an hour of them trying to figure out
what I did for a living. The entire hour, for
real, consisted of, "So, what is your occupation?" I was like, "Oh,
I'm a comedian." He's, like "Comedian?" I'm like, "Yeah, yeah,
I do stand up comedy." "Stand up comedy?" I'm like, "Yeah, I'm a...
(audience laughs) "I do comedy", "Comedy?" "Yeah, I do, I'm a
comedian", "Comedian?" I'm like, am I bein' roasted
right now, what's happening? (audience laughs) Finally his buddy walks
in, his partner, he's like, (speaking in foreign
language) comedian. And he goes, "Oh yeah,
he's like Bill Cosby." (audience groans) And that's what got
me off was Bill Cosby. I mean, not literally,
not literally. (audience laughs and applauds) - A lot of people
who are refugees or maybe came to
the US as immigrants had this connection with
Trump where they were worried. You had a different
connection with Trump which is one of the reasons
you came into prominence, really insane story where
you found yourself on a plane seated next to Eric Trump. - That's, yeah. You know, bein' a frequent
flyer helps sometimes. I didn't know this
was gonna happen, like I was upgrading
to first class and I ended up sitting
next to Eric Trump. I didn't even know I
was gonna get upgraded 'cause I put my name on
the list way to late, you know, comedians
are, you know, the best procrastinators
in the business and I didn't know I
was gonna get upgraded much less sit next to Eric,
but I do know one thing, the lady that upgraded me is
probably a Clinton supporter, you know, let's be real. She was probably
sittin' there like, "Oh, Eric Trump is on my
flight, okay, uh huh, uh huh." I don't know why she has a
mustache but okay, mm-hmm. (audience laughs) "Oh, there's an empty
seat next to Eric? "Let me take a look
at this upgrade list, "see who's standing
by patiently here. "Oh, Mohammed Mustafa
Amer, upgrade!" (audience laughs and applauds) - I often wonder
how much normalcy there still is in your life? Like, how many normal
random things happen to you. Like, when was the last time your phone ran out of battery
while you were speaking? Has that ever happened to you? - No.
- Okay. (audience laughs) So for instance, have there
ever been a moment where you're in the bathroom and then
the toilet roll is done, no? - Oh, no. - What is the most? - No, you know why? Because at my
house, I don't know if this happens at your house, but at my house when the toilet
roll is checked regularly and when it's been checked, like after you're
going to the bathroom, somebody will come
in and it's folded into a little triangle.
- They fold a little triangle? - Yes.
- Like you live in a hotel? - It's like folding into
a triangle every time. - Okay, okay, we'll
take one from each side. - I will tell you though,
some things very normal that you wouldn't think.
- Okay, let's go. - I travel with my own bread
and I bring my own avocados. - Are you serious? - Yes I do. So I have an avocado
orchard so I think it's-- - Oh, the story got
not normal, Oprah! You just said, "I'm gonna
tell you something normal", then you said, "I have
my own avocado orchard." (audience laughs) - But, so I think it's
ridiculous to pay for avocados. - Which is why you
bought your own orchard? Are you kidding me? That is not a normal story.
- Okay. - You sailed from
Europe to New York City. New York City is quite
an assault on the senses when you come from
anywhere else. What is the biggest thing. that has stuck out to
you in New York City? - I mean, just everything,
all the impressions, everything is so
much, so big, so loud. (audience laughs) People talk so
loud here as well. (audience laughs) Because when you're
on that boat, when I was on the boat
there was nothing, there was just the ocean and of course the sound
of the waves crashing but that's it, no smells, (audience laughs)
apart from sweat. So I remember the
first thing I noticed when we came into the harbor
was I woke up and suddenly it smelled something.
(audience laughs) And of course it was
pollution, but still something and that was, it was undescribable to go from this
extreme environment, you're disconnected from
everything and everyone, you only have yourself
and the ocean, and the boat of
course, to New York. (audience laughs) - That is an accurate
and brilliant
description of New York. (audience laughs) It is undescribable
and it smells. (audience laughs) You work in Australia
but you live in the US and your father lives
with you in Los Angeles, or does he come and
visit you quite a lot? - No, no, no, he lives
with us and yeah. (audience laughs) The reason I'm
pausing is my dad, when we lived in the UK we
lived in houses or apartments that we didn't have a yard. L.A. as most people
know has a lot of space and my dad has become
obsessed with leaf blowing. (audience laughs) - Are you being serious? - I'm absolutely serious. - So your Nigerian dad is
obsessed with leaf blowers? - It's crazy. If you knew Nigerians you'd
know that that was really weird. What am I going to go
and do the gardening for? But the problem is
he never just does like the constant
(imitates leaf blower), because then you kinda go,
okay, daddy's leaf blowing. He goes, (imitates leaf blower), (audience laughs) So for the hour that
he's doing this. - Oh man, oh man. It's just like one
leaf at a time. - He's so happy when fall comes. Ah, here are the leaves! (audience laughs and applauds) ("Dog on Fire")
