Tim Hawkins - "He Has Allergies"

some of you worked in your church nurseries I have once that was enough I'm done I'm done I thought my kids were annoying other people's kids are really annoying it's not the kids the kids are fine it's the adults the parents of these kids like you ever seen these moms who make excuses for the kid they never admit he's a brat you know what I'm talking about you know kids like stabbing people with scissors what's the mom say he has allergies that's what he has there's a lot of pollen in here that makes him want to kill people that's not his fault that's not his fault he must have had some gluten yesterday or something that just sets him off the gluten that makes someone a puncture the skin of other people with kitchen utensils so I mean I wrote it on the card so maybe you should read it next time it wasn't hits all maybe with your athough he's just tired don't you see that he's just tired he just needs a nappy he needs a slappy that's what he needs he's got a Dede no I got a TD he's a jerk your kids a jerk all these kids got a TD he's stabbing people right now with rusty scissors you know that you've seen these kids running around their underwear in a grocery store was the mom say he don't know now that her he's 22 come on I know he's a home schooler but cut that off at 20 it was a wild man four kids every time my wife was pregnant I feel sorry for pregnant women every time my wife was pregnant people come up at her and tell her what the baby was gonna be like they knew like they had some secret formula like oh you are going to have a boy yeah you're going to have a precious little boy how do you know well you're carrying in the front I'm no doctor but where else is she gonna carry that thing back on her calf it's a girl twins I'm having tween they would but like having kids today is a miracle cause of the ultrasound I went to every one of my wife's ultrasounds cuz it's amazing it's a miracle cuz what my kids did in the womb that's what they did when they were born it was awesome like my first child my son in the ultrasound he was like this alternate he did that he's born all-time my second child my daughter in the ultrasound she's uh-huh so she took a lot of naps then my third child my son in the ultrasound he was like so he has allergies and

Channel: Patrick Gear

Views: 1,042,456

Keywords: Tim Hawkins, Green Bay, High Gear Promotions, Weidner Center, Comedy Concert

Id: 1gpekUCGTDE

Length: 3min 17sec (197 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 10 2015