TikTok Kallmekris Life With Toddlers Compilation

you're staying at your uncle chad's sup yeah i need you to watch chris for me um ready gun wait come in little dude welcome to uncle chad's crib little dude okay tv futon microwave mini fridge i'm gonna pump out a couple games before tonight help yourself okay sorry i lost track of time little dude little dude what the hell zoey i knew we were related pass it over wrench it up little dude i'm back what the hell okay good night honey okay mom yes honey can you eat me bedtime stewie i just read you a bedtime story please fine just pick out a book that bottle of wine on the counter screaming my name right now oh day thanks honey we just read this but i like it fine in the great green room there was a telephone you didn't finish the book hey thank you for all meeting me today um how's everybody doing i'm okay that's great they're loving you so keep that up uh chat so i think we need to put a little bit more of you out there are you willing to put yourself out there like who is chad i'm chad yeah but just like more of you oh wait what yeah you know what we'll just come back to that uh boston mom yeah what how's it going i'm asking you but i think you and the toddler character you guys are doing really well together yeah they don't like the videos because of me okay they're like the little spawn of satan that says okay no don't say that you are very important to us okay i thank you full of [ __ ] but okay don't say that [ __ ] oh my god mom how are you doing i'm good i just feel like i'm not featured enough on here you know what i think that's where we're gonna end the meeting um so yeah thank you all for coming this was unproductive hey thank you for coming to the second meeting i know we got some new characters in here so how's everybody doing first uh toddler i'm still otey great love the energy boston mom oh i'm fantastic fantastic who's the new broad you brought in as a new mom character what's that i think she just needed a little southern touch in her content good thing you don't make the rules hey uh you got a lot of love coming in here please don't fight you shut the front door i'm talking okay okay we're gonna deal with this later okay 12 year old twilight version of me how are you doing okay good there is that my drop it drop it why is everybody oh my god what's up losers chad you were not invited to this meeting that's a bit sauce oh my god okay we're done we're done hi welcome to the third meeting we'll be interviewing some new applicants for mommy toddler characters so how about you go first hi there i'm amelia and this is my little one brixley hello no no janet seriously can't you just give her you gave southern mom a chance well i don't know about old grumpy pants over there but we would be overjoyed to have you in the mother toddler group did i say you could speak for me you honky tonk listen you okay we have other applicants go ahead hi i'm katherine this is my little lad harris hi there you recruited william wallace what's next to nazi i spake at the devil i'm the aussie mom oh my god wow this is great hello i'm here to apply for a permanent position with my son misha we're recruiting from mother russia now janet bit of a complainer agreed hey i said it from the start this all started with you i can handle this hold my vodka misha okay no meeting a jerk yeah i want to move because we have six kids and two bedrooms in one bathroom see i just don't think that's a reason to move i mean i've been working on that second bathroom for two years for two years nothing ever gets done in the house maybe the bathroom's not finished but i've done a lot to fix this house like this door never even used to slide i consider myself a handyman yeah we need to move you didn't complain when we first got the house we had one kid and you got a vasectomy that clearly didn't work we've laid our roots down here we're gonna stay we live two hours away from your work you just like not seeing the kids can i see them when they're going to bed yeah we're gonna list it or we're gonna love it i want a divorce i'm having an affair can you turn the camera off please hi there mom it is 10 p.m you got a frozen themed rave you're heading enough too why you up i was just in my room why you breathing so hard i've been practicing a dance tent i show you all right go ahead oh yay it was pretty good but where's the music why didn't you have any music i was using your phone but then i dropped it and it stopped working did you like it go to bed all right honey easy dinner i don't want dad i want to die no we don't have any dino nuggies but why we don't have any dino nuggies because when we went to the supermarket i forgot because you were too busy having a tantrum on the floor in the candy aisle i don't want that you're gonna eat what's on your plate no thank you okay here's what we're gonna do okay you're gonna finish what's on your plate okay and i will let you pick what movie we watch tonight oh day can we watch frozen again fine okay i gotta go open a bottle of wine okay sweetie you ready for trick-or-treating oh dave but i don't want to be a duck anymore you said you wanted to be a ducky a week ago that's why i got you this costume i don't like ducks anymore oh my god what do you want to be i want to be a unicorn a unicorn i don't have a unicorn costume please no no you're gonna be a duck please you gotta knock on the door oh yay oh hi there and what are you supposed to be trigger joint unicorn unicorn a a a unicorn wow looks great you want some candy okay here you go thank you have a good night i had to improvise okay let's get out of here hey very mom can we play hide and seek oh yeah sure honey i'll count to ten you go hide all right okay oh [ __ ] i really gotta delete tick tock honey honey are you you [ __ ] oh my god there you are did i win yeah yeah you won honey yeah i'm very thirsty okay yeah of course let's go to mcdonald's how about we go to mcdonald's okay just don't tell your father about any of this i swear i had ben and jerry's what you got on your face there nothing oh okay so either you have doodoo on your face which wouldn't be that far off or you ate my bananas ice cream it's nothing okay i'm gonna count to three one right i'm two you don't wanna know what happens when i get to three i'm sorry i ate ice cream that's what i thought i'm crazy i'll be swimming [Applause] oh you know what i grabbed homo milk i meant to grab one percent let me just run and get that you stay right here all right please don't go you'll be fine i'll be back in two seconds okay thank you okay that's everything she's i'm just getting the milk i mom oh i don't have money okay honey you're ready to go to grandma's okay but why do i have to go to guamas cause mommy needs a little break for me to maintain a sanity can i please wash frozen yes you can watch frozen with your headphones on but i don't have the ipad it's in the bag i took it out to wash frozen at home why did you take it okay not frozen then can we listen to where to go on your phone no please i can't listen to that song anymore please [Music] are we good all right so how is motherhood oh yeah i love being a mother it's it's the best job in the world hey hey what are you doing no put the knife down can i have a minute to myself there was [ __ ] on the walls no get back here you know what you did so any regrets no no no regrets at all i know it's my second bottle leave me alone get the camera out of my face does having kids better your life i think everyone should have kids oh you antonio thinking about having kids don't you want to travel nope can't do that you want alone time never again yeah go play yeah they're cute never shut up though don't stop taking birth control like i said i love being a mother go get them julie yeah i'm new to the team yeah i haven't met any any of the parents named stacy hi stacy welcome to the team so do you know any of the parents here oh yeah for sure so that's todd and he's cheering on his kid right now let's go champ it's cute he calls him champ no his kid's name is actually champ so should tell you a lot oh that's that's something yeah crystal's mom usually sits in the car watching netflix doesn't her daughter get upset she's not here to watch nah crystal just sits on the bench for the most part anyway oh okay and that's karen okay hi don't wave karen no she sleeps with the coach we don't we don't talk to karen oh wow okay yeah and if you're ever getting bored vicki's mom debbie has coolidge in the back of her minivan oh okay noted great yeah and honestly i really don't talk to the rest of them so that's that's all you it's fantastic yeah hey karen karen yeah i sent an email out i said that we're all gonna be wearing all the parents are gonna be wearing the team colors that's okay i got some more in my car i'll go grab you one oh and you didn't rsvp on the bottle drive so i just put you down for saturday at one o'clock hope that's okay no stacey that's the wrong spot we gotta go hey anyway um ref are you blind are you this kid just tackled my kid you didn't see that all right hey hey come here come here your mom doesn't love you oh alex is gonna be playing at the local college that's cute that's cute bethany has been asked by several universities to be on their team my phone just won't stop ringing we're gonna wait we're gonna wait to choose don't wanna jump the gun you know oh is she can you check on her is she okay ish i don't i'm gonna just i'm gonna run on the field are you okay suzy hi there everybody welcome back to mommy toddler time daycare how about everybody goes around the room and introduces themselves let's start with you hey how's it going i'm janet and this is my kid riley hello hey cutie and you hi i'm amelia and this is my little one brexley and there's actually a silent q in there what is the queue for janet let's not start no is there also a silent five in your kid's name has no one taught this woman manners who's new i'm clocking you that's a fake british accent isn't it okay ladies let's move on okay how about you yo salt it's nice seeing a father in here where's your where's your little one my what you're your kid i have a kid who let this [ __ ] in don't say that oh they [ __ ] oh my god you have to have a child to be in here i didn't know i had a kid i don't think you do i should have pulled out i gotta make some calls what the hell is this let's calm down this is highly unprofessional oh shut up you can't even spell i think there's a monster in my room there are no monsters in your room honey can i just sweep a few no you've slept in here every night this week we're gonna go check if there's monsters in your room and you're gonna sleep in your own bed come on let's go i think you gotta stop watching so much dateline with mommy all right let's see no monsters under the bed he was in the closet okay no no monsters in here where'd you go who the hell would she go but i just last night i swear to god hi mom what did i say i said don't talk to me before i've had my morning coffee what do you want can i please watch frozen no but why because i watched that movie twelve thousand times just this week and i'm not proud to say that i know every single word that goddamn movie okay don't you like any other movies no we don't even watch the whole movie we just skip to those parts with a stupid little snowman please no please [Music] hey kiddo you want to see something neat all right got your nose i got your nose oh it's a joke it's it's joke see put it back right back i i don't i don't actually have your nose sweetie put it back what is going on roger i just took her nose why can't you just do a puzzle with the kids you deal with this i don't okay honey here's your nose thank you hey honey what i gotta get back to painting hey very mom do you want to play with me i can't play right now okay i gotta finish painting your sister's room okay but it's all done what do you what's that on your face oh that's paint please god no oh my god you painted the carpet i painted the pillows too do you like it no i do not like why is it so quiet riley i am not playing hide and seek today if you got into my makeup my god hey verbum what did you do to your hair i wanted to look like elsa elsa you look like goth from wayne's world give me the scissors okay what do you have to say for yourself i talked to dog's hair too you want it you might look like a naked mole rat do you like it no i do not dear god those little shits hey hello mom tell me now which one of you drew on my wall i'm getting silent treatment for my own child i'm going to give you to the count of one not three i don't [ __ ] with three okay i spit on three one oh hey it was misha that's what i thought misha okay it was me you're going to clean up that wall and then come back here for real punishment old hey all right i will give you special family cleaning concoction that can clean up anything i mean anything who is that it's your uh little russian friends coming over to play one second ah okay oh hey uh my name is katrina and this is misha and sergey hello hello well you got him well trained i should take some notes i can let you borrow family russian parenting manual it's called no mercy i think i'm good i know how to raise my kid mom can i show the twins my frozen fiend room uh yeah little spoiled hey you know what walks all over you familiar yeah how about i come in while kids play i give you a few mother russian parenting tips yeah i'd like that come on in you have vodka yeah of course we're going to get along very nicely hey hey what the hell is all this ruckus in here they called me a bad word buddy did you swear at your sister yeah i did now you know i do not tolerate that kind of stuff in my house what is today sunday and who are sundays for jesus that's right sundays are for jesus so you better go on and apologize to your sister right now all right i'm sorry he's out hey all right if you [ __ ] swear again i will put soap down your throat got it yes ma'am good now put your [ __ ] on we're gonna lay for church hi mrs henderson so what is it that you claim my daughter did she swore in class oh well she doesn't know any swear words susie did you swear in class see no and i believe her so maybe you just misunderstood hey mrs henderson sir i'm late what did she do now she swore in class did you swear in class no oh you're full of [ __ ] go wait in the car no no i don't wanna hear it go wait in the car you truck her okay bye i'm so sorry i'm so embarrassed just know that this will be handled she's gonna come to school tomorrow and probably not be able to sit down so just don't worry about that all right yeah that's everything that's oh shoot you know what i forgot the bread um chris i need you to go and grab some bread really quickly before we check out okay but why can't you you'll be fine just hurry up come on go go pick up the pace come on i know i don't know what kind can't remember do we eat this chris here you go mom finally it's the wrong bread i'm sorry go get the right one but all these people are waiting we can have one of our clerks go no go okay [Music] um yeah it's grandma it's grandma on the phone oh no yeah she'd love to talk no yeah she's here she's here no yeah here we go here we go hi grandma i miss you too hi mama oh hey honey what is all this mess on your hands um what did i say about playing in the mud outside i asked you to go do your chores i'll tell you what i did on my chores you were supposed to help your daddy put all the leaves in a pile and pick up the dog's oh sweet baby jesus what on this god's green earth is on your hands it's tanks poop oh the lord has tested me okay here's what we're gonna do okay you're gonna go outside you're gonna show your daddy what's on your hands and we never had this conversation okay okay okay gonna get hi what are those oh uh these are my vessies i will we wipe them mama can i get some vessies please what can you stop talking to strangers it's like you don't even listen to me i'm so sorry she was just asking about my shoes all right you have shoes though i don't need to buy you new shoes no they're actually really great they're comfortable and they're actually waterproof so i like them i don't remember asking for your opinion can you step on the puddle yeah sure check it out and my feet are still dry i want to try no sorry my fee you're wet fantastic thanks i think if you put that over there i think i think that'd be better right here no no um over there over here yeah go over here no don't do her project for her again i'm not she'll be here yeah great job sweetie okay move over i'm doing this but dad said not a word okay mommy wants an a [Music] what is wrong with you what are you doing up i just think you're really pretty oh that's really nice honey thank you very much i heard a picture of you that's very nice honey where's the picture that you drew where is it it's in the living room please tell me you did not use crayons on the living room table again no i use a permanent marker on my living room table no oh thank the lord i drew you on the wall do you want to see it no i do not want to see oh yeah yeah hold on susie okay let's see oh no i already see a bruise forming here okay can we get up no okay i'll call an ambulance one second oh yeah oh [ __ ] not again one second one second all right let's see what we got here is it bleeding no is it broken no don't waste my time okay shake it off rub some dirt in it let's go need some help just kidding why are you staring at me while i sleep i had a nightmare that you died well i'm not dead so go to bed that's what you said in a nightmare right before you died if i could return you i would get out of here i just wanted a sandwich i'll give you a sandwich it'll be a knuckle sandwich if you don't get out of here [Music] why are you in here i missed you that's nice honey why is your tummy look so squishy go away what why am i up right now is the house on fire no then what's the problem you you gotta show me something okay give me a minute all right i'm up i'm up he couldn't at least brought me a coffee or something anything no yes i'm very excited i'm very excited what time is it right now it's it's 4 00 what all right what did you have to show me oh it's a picture okay that was nice it's a a water buffalo or something it's me what did i do to deserve this [ __ ] yes no no [ __ ] no it's bad no you can't say that why you say it then because mommy dropped something and mommy was very upset oh okay okay [ __ ] no hi mom why are you up right now what time is it what time is it roger it's two it's two a.m yeah you got a shift at the prison i don't know about why you up i just thought that you should be in the movie frozen that's nice honey that's nice so you think i i look like elsa because of my hair that's nice no i don't think you work workouts up oh well i don't really think i look that much like anna no you're like olaf you think i look like a two-foot snowman with a pinocchio nose and buck teeth no because you're really funny like him that's really sweet honey you want to sleep in bed with me oh yay okay come here hi there mom what am i a watermelon at the supermarket why you gotta slap me good morning to you too good morning it's 3am and your brother was just in here what are you two taking shifts i just wanted a glass of water no you cannot have a glass of water oh day about why because if i get you water you're gonna pee the bed no i won't oh and how are you so sure with that einstein because i already paid the bed i just want one night so then i have a glass of water no you cannot have a glass of it is 4am if i'm not dreaming right now i'm gonna lose my goddamn mind where did i come from oh my god you came from mommy's tummy oh why because that's where you were made but why because mommy and daddy thought we loved each other and we wanted to have a baby so we had you a table why just because because why you are really making me question my life decisions right now at 4am really just because honey i because why okay i'm dropping you off at grandma's today hey there everybody welcome to mommy toddler time daycare i see some new faces why doesn't everybody go around the room and we just get to know each other how about you go first hey how's it going this is my kid hi here fantastic hi there little ball of energy there you must be proud yeah it's great okay and you hi there i'm denise and this is my little bundle of joy buddy hi there you named your kid buddy yeah is there a problem with that oh no so you just googled the most popular dog's name and you chose that one i will have you now ladies not in front of the kidlets okay how about we say hi hi to you who are you hi there i'm shannon and this is my little one sky oh hi there what are with these names hey this is a no judgement zone okay would you just go outside look up and name your kid after that what'd i just say she's not wrong see you are a terrible person at least i didn't name my kid after the cake boss come to mama what do you want i'm trying to have some mommy time right now i went number two did you have another accident in your pants or where no i made it to the bathroom oh did you poop on the floor again no i'm the toilet oh well good job honey i'm very proud of you but i forgot to open the lid how do you forget to lift the lid on the toilet you wanna see it no i do not wanna so everything we talked about before the game you just decided not to do it yeah you were like a pylon out there oh no what do i know what do i know yeah i just played it in university hey no i don't want to hear that kind of talk it was not your fault okay how about we go get go get some ice cream how about that yeah yeah great there's always the next game no you you did amazing out there superstar i don't even know why they start britney over you she's literally a speed bump out there we pay for extra lessons i flirt with the coach like it makes no sense and you're and you're good as well yeah that was that was rough you can't succeed you can't you can't make you can't hit a shot if you don't take it a hundred times you gotta do your best what do you want what's in your mouth nothing i'm not that great of a mom but i think i would have noticed a tumor at the side of your face what is that there's nothing spit it out i'm gonna count to three okay spit it out one two if i get to three all of your frozen stuff is going in the trash you had a marshmallow chapstick and a whistle in your mouth yeah don't shove random [ __ ] in your mouth you think i want to go to the er with my kid choking on a whistle chapstick and a marshmallow okay shall we how did you eat you know what i don't wanna know oh that was a great show yeah but why is it so quiet please god please god no where are you if she drew on the walls i swear to god all right what'd you do why is it so quiet nothing we're just playing dress up oh okay hi mom why is your brother dressed up like a girl because i wanted to make him feel pretty i feel pretty okay

Channel: Agent Compiler

Views: 5,720,803

Rating: 4.9010692 out of 5

Keywords: tiktok, kallmekris, life with toddlers, funny kid, funny kids, parody, mom's life, compilation, funny video, funny videos, tiktoker, tiktok viral

Id: 5-xeRFy0wyc

Length: 34min 8sec (2048 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 01 2020