♪♪ [ Upbeat electronic
music plays ] ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] -♪ Everybody's talking 'bout
my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ ♪ Everybody's looking at
my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ ♪♪ ♪ I'm the only one in town
with tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ ♪ No one else around
is wearing tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ -♪ Everybody's talking 'bout
my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ ♪ People wouldn't lie about
my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ ♪ I can swing my arms,
I can shake my hips ♪ ♪ I can dance down the block ♪ ♪ Knowing I'm the only chick ♪ ♪ That's wearing tight pants ♪ ♪ And I'm the only one ♪ [ Loud cheering ] ♪♪ -Slow down there,
young lady friend. You say people are
talking about your tight pants down at the local Piggly Wiggly? Well, I find that
hard to believe. 'Cause ever since I moved to
this town, and everyone I know has been talking
about my tight pants. -Well, that's funny
because yesterday I ran into Mayor Barleycorn and he presented me with
a plaque declaring my pants the tightest in the land. [ Laughter ] -Well, I just received an urgent
telegram from Governor Gribble proclaiming today
as Tight Pants Day in honor of my tight pants. -Listen up, you little bitch! [ Cheers and applause ] You better hide your wife. You better hide your kids
'cause I will cut you. I will cut your father.
I will cut your mother. I will scratch you.
Don't make me take off my heels. [ Cheering loudly ] -Take it easy, George and Weezy. -Look,
what I'm trying to say is get lost, applesauce. I'm the only one who
wears tight pants in this town. You feel me? Don't rattle the cage. [ Hisses ] [ Laughter, applause ] We cool-o, papi chulo? -I got you, hot sriracha. I guess I'll find yet
another new town. ♪♪ -♪ Everybody's talking
'bout my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ [ Twinkle! ] [ Cheers and applause ] ♪ Everybody's talking
'bout my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -♪ Everybody's talking
'bout my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ ♪ Everybody's lookin'
at my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ ♪♪ -♪ Everybody's talking
'bout our tight pants ♪ ♪ We got our tight pants ♪ ♪ We got our tight pants on ♪ ♪ We're the only couple
wearin' tight pants ♪ ♪ We got our tight pants ♪ ♪ We got our tight pants on ♪ ♪ We can dance over here,
we can dance over there ♪ ♪ We can walk down the street
and everybody stares ♪ ♪ At our tight pants ♪ ♪ We're the only ones ♪ ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪ Everyone in town
loves my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ ♪ No one else around
is wearing tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ -Whoa! Slow down there, compadre. [ Laughter ] You say people are talking
about your tight pants down at the local penny arcade? Well, I find that hard
to believe, because ever since
we moved to this town, everyone we know's been
talking about our tight pants. -Well, that's funny,
because yesterday I ran into Mayor Wembley and he declared my pants
the tightest in all the land. -Well, we just welcomed
our brand new baby boy. -And when we told the news
to Governor Grimble, he proclaimed, Hark, tis the true heir
to the tight pants throne. -A new baby, you say? Well, ain't that a bag of beans? Especially since you
and I haven't spoken since that one magical night we
shared together nine months ago. [ Audience "Ohhs!" ] -Now you listen to me,
you fat-face Cobb nobler. [ Laughter ] I don't know who you are or what butthole
you crawled out of. [ Laughter ] But this is my woman
and that is our baby. And every night he gets swaddled in the tightest of pants. We're the only ones that get to
wear tight pants in this town. You drinkin' my sake, kemosabe? [ Laughter ] -Don't mess with the lioness. ♪ Nants ingonyama ♪
-[ Hisses ] [ Cheers and applause ] You sipping my soup-eh,
Guadalupe? [ Laughter ] -Point taken, Kevin Bacon. I guess I'll find a new town. ♪♪ -♪ Everybody's talking
'bout our tight pants ♪ ♪ We got our tight pants ♪ ♪ We got our tight pants on ♪ [ Twinkle! ] [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ s♪♪ -♪ Everybody's talking
'bout my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ ♪ People wouldn't lie
about my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪ I'm the only one in town
with tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ ♪ No one else around
is wearin' tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ [ Loud cheering ] ♪♪ -♪ Hey, everyone in town
loves my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ ♪ People gather 'round
to see my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants ♪ ♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ ♪ I can get real low,
and I can get real high ♪ ♪ I can wiggle in the middle
knowing I'm the only guy ♪ ♪ that's wearing tight pants ♪ ♪ And I'm the only one ♪ [ Cheers and applause ] -Whoa! Slow down there, captain. You say people are talking
about your tight pants down at the village square? Well, I find that hard
to believe, because ever since
I moved to this town, everyone I know has been talking
about my tight pants. -Whoa, now! That's top shelf.
negatory there, rookie nuts! 'Cause ever since I was born, I've been making sure
that my pants were all tight,
all tight, all tight. [ Cheers and applause ] And matter of fact, this weekend, Mayor Grimble is
throwing his annual Pants Fest, and he's gonna declare my pants
the tightest in the land. [ Cheers and applause ] -Well, I just heard
from Postmaster Derek, and he said
my pants are first class. He even said he's gonna
put them on a stamp! -[ Scoffs ] It's time you tap the brakes,
there, you chicken-faced, bird-beaked son of a bitch. [ Cheers and applause ] Here's the new rules. I am the only one who gets to
wear tight pants in this town. You got it?! [ Cheers and applause ] Why?! 'Cause my pants
are the tightest, my pants are the smoothest, and they're great
for sipping cocktails. [ Cheers and applause ] Plus, they're 100% organic
and made from the finest blue Weber agave.
Comprende, compadre? [ Cheers and applause ] -What the hell
are you talking about? [ Laughter ] -Now you best put a lid
on that lagniappe, Captain Poopin' Stock before I get all holy
up in your co-yo-te. I am not talking about
the pantalones here coverin' my chicharrones. I'm talking about
my new tequila pantalones. You squeezing my lime,
Optimus Prime? [ Cheers and applause ] -Loud and clear, Buccaneer. I guess I'll find a new town. -♪ People like
my tight pantalones ♪ ♪ People like
my tight pantalones ♪ ♪ Got my pantalones on ♪ ♪ Got my pantalones on ♪
[ Ting! ] ♪ Got my pantalones, pantalones,
pantalones on ♪ ♪ People like my pantalones ♪ ♪ Got my pantalones
and my tequila ♪
