This game is training for when YouTube dies

hey there friends how's it going today we're playing bomb simulator yes this delightful gentleman is her new friend that's his way of saying hello honestly that's a pretty good song i could imagine winning a grammy or two damn you really don't remember a thing uh i think i may have taken something the shopping cart is talking to me until evil way corporation turned me into a shopping cart now we have to get my body back okay we either got to get this guy's body back or stop taking acid we gotta do something to stop this trip eat and drink basic needs oh no don't make me eat from there okay so there's no like puppeteering going on here or not no that is just a sentient chopping trolley okay let's look for food then this is just sludge in here how am i supposed to eat oh okay yummy come on give me more food more oh wait what was that apple core yummy god damn it learned kick didn't help me with my shopping cart trolley problem you can store it in me and we can sell it later oh that is handy having a shopping cart for a friend you can store things in them anytime i try and store stuff in my friends they hate me for it it feels like i'm in some sort of cursed children's show okay pal if we want to get my body back and your brain wait they have my brain too that's why i'm acting like this i thought i was just you know as intelligent as myself in real life oh my god i can actually use the shopping cart yay i can boost oh my god this is fast i just go straight through traffic without even looking oh sorry sorry sorry sorry well not too sorry i did kind of aim for you wait did i fail i did i like how the failed screen is bummer that's great jesus where are you taking me oh no this doesn't look good are we gonna fight them or no he's my friend is he finally a friend that isn't a shopping cart oh my god he's got the damage tattoo but on his throat oh quite the suicide squad fan aren't you oh it's going to teach me how to beg please subscribe please i i have nothing else please i think i'm pretty good already time to let people know that you're in need of some cash by writing a message on the cardboard i get to draw something all right i wrote subscribe because that's all i'm used to begging for and now we'll draw like a bell is this what a bell looks like i don't think this is like a bell that's close enough now it just needs one final touch there we go just a little thick in the corner so you know i'm all so dangerous score a plus yay the little subscribe bell that's great subscribe to me come on subscribe subscribe daily videos come on oh he hit the bell you could tell because you know the bell noise daily gaming videos give me money hit the like button too all of you come here god this is a really effective strategy give me more that's enough no you're being greedy okay now you're being rude look to be fair you can't even afford sleeves i shouldn't be begging from you like i have sleeves i should be giving you money get your lazy ass scary i just literally ran into a car speaking of running into cars what happens if you run into cars ow it hurts i should know that from my real life experience of running into cars i need three more dollars oh you just spawned i know you have money you haven't spent anything yet there we go i got 10 bucks and now i got to give it to that other guy so he'll help me i don't even know why i'm giving him 10 bucks wait who didn't actually put anything in the cup because i should have 10. oh no i thought i had my cup out i'm sorry i'm sorry no no no no no please everyone's panicking oh god he got run over by a taxi from what i did like would you not help him instead of chasing the hobo who punch someone get him shopping trolley they don't even attend to the guy who was hit by a car because they're too busy chasing the fella who punched someone in the face don't let them see you i'm trying but they're fast oh no there's more here oh no shopping charlie please get him fabulous haircut by the way i can't jump the fence i'm happy to help i'm happy to help but can you run along with me thank you great work hell no no no no no no no i accidentally started editing the drawing but it doesn't look like i lost any progress so how bad now my drawing is gone i may as well replace it now i got fu police thank you for the grade the only thing i'll give you is a good beating oh i mean to be fair i wasn't expecting much with this poster oh yeah you see that copper the people are on my side they agree it's a pleasure doing business with you yeah but what are we doing business for i don't understand one of the bugs has locked himself in a cage with it for safekeeping while others went out to search for a buyer oh wait what why okay i guess i'll go confront him they are my enemies the bugs by the way well it appears to be the case why have you locked yourself in there you silly goose you want to get your precious birdie back oh that's what i want my bird look at him well this is the only bird you'll get oh i see what you did there well don't just stand out [ __ ] i'm back but i can't i just like keep him under siege he's gonna get hungry eventually you'll have to try harder than that to piss me off oh speaking of piss my mission is based on the bug oh my god that aim jesus christ oh no he's coming out hold on my bladder's very full ah run away oh now it's getting all over me and my friend i think he might be able to find me he just needs to follow the trail of piss washing cars a dollar a piece just drive on through all right fine no payment for me look at my little friends there peeking around the corner i better go back and kill that guy nice one pal thanks that's just so unnecessary okay i'm worried they might find my dna on his body and i might go away for this or maybe even the death penalty given the cruel and unusual punishment i'm putting him through hello birdie do you talk too oh ah that's good enough let me go hey talking shopping cart new toilets eh oh you know how to solve this with some good aim i should be able to put that fire out oh wait it doesn't let me ah i guess i used all of my pee all right i have to use the pigeon shuriken okay it flies in a straight line and lodges itself into the target dealing damage and even knocking the man down if it hits the head okay so i gotta aim this pigeon i'll aim for the head i suppose for god's sake that's so good oh oh sorry sorry sorry miss click sorry all right bring the pigeon to the pigeon lady where's oh sorry sorry oh no get out of the way i gotta get out of the eyesight of the cops can i roll this i can roll my shopping trolley up here okay hang on be careful oh this may be too high what what he got up how did he get up that fast i saw him on the map and he was nowhere near me and then he was just on top of me to be honest i'm probably better off just getting caught when the police come after me they don't seem to do anything to me they just reset me a little bit oh my god what is this uh oh it seems we aren't the only ones paying a visit to the pigeon lady oh they're holding her hostage and pigeon and you oh my god what lovely chompers you have i throw my pigeon at him but i'm afraid he'll eat it in one bite oh look police all right see that police you wanna you don't wanna help me okay fine i'm doing pretty good i'm backing off at just the right speed where they don't wanna hit me at least the police don't care if i'm beating them up either okay there we go i'll just leave them on the road and let the traffic finish them off oh i can pick up their bodies yeah there we go yeah he's got to be dead right surely no he's still laughing all right where'd he go what where did what where's he gone i think i might have sent him to heaven okay that works for me i guess long time no see friend oh my god you mean literal pigeon lady [ __ ] hell let me look at your bird uh i don't know if i should show her my pigeon rod will she be angry that i'm using it as a weapon with enough rest and care its pigeon spirit will become big and strong again yeah i'm definitely in some demented children's cartoon a hundred percent now go build the coup i get to build a coop i'm excited and i got one dollar i don't know why she paid me but oh well oh you can get them little costumes it's so dark it's hard to see but there's like a bread bunny oh even though i feel like that just may end up with him being eaten by predators trying to figure out okay no you are just a human dressed in that you're just crazy too all right you must be [ __ ] boiling anyway i'm off i gotta look after my hunger and thirst oh nearly knocked someone down there and the cop was right there too they get really annoyed with that they don't mind if people get hit by cars but hit by shopping trolley that's a totally different story ooh pigeons hey friends would you like to be my weapon oh what did i just pick up i don't think that was a good idea are you irish entertain me and you will be handsomely rewarded okay take out your willy and urinate on the people wearing fancy suits what that's how you want to show your power also be quick about it time is money i mean if you're paying i think i'll do that please some fancy suits okay that's one look copper this guy's trying to beat me up he's not very good he missed by about 20 meters oh my god he's still chasing me are you serious drive by gotta go i say don't eat yellow ice i only have two and a half minutes to piss on eight more suits i'd like to report a case of bomb vandalism no i didn't do anything to your bum i did not vandalize it what do you think you're doing i'm pissing on fancy suits it's a compliment i think your suit is fancy oh two for one nice 9-1-1 right now he's right there i don't think he cares for once i need one more this isn't even a fancy suit but will you count no you don't we tricked the police once again once again i think that's the first time we managed to do that you need to drink something well i only got one option and i'm not taking it there we go i got my vulgar display of power completed can i afford to buy a drink now buy a snack for 286 that's kind of a lot but you know what i think i deserve it there we go i got myself a little hot dog now i just need a drink now there is sea water i could try that this game has so much more to it than i thought it would i thought it would be like a generic simulator game which i love those games by the way but this game has a lot more character to it i'm really liking it so fast it's so bizarre oh i've unspent perk points great more xp yes that'll be good long term oh you can do base building stuff that's pretty cool what do you want oh sweet jesus ronald mcdonald has fallen on rough times he even has a hook for a hand [ __ ] you up your ass jesus christ sorry for mentioning it i gotta say it must be tough to keep a completely white makeup face in a junkyard hello deliver small package i'll provide you some free stuff huh oh my god i didn't think you would give me a bomb when you said you provide me with a small package to deliver but you know what it deals a deal i should have asked you more before agreeing to it did you have to start the timer now why couldn't i start it when i'm there out of the way copper it's just a clock it's a stopwatch i'm doing a workout out of the way out of the way out of the way imagine you saw this i would be silly to assume that he just strapped explosives to me right pal oh yeah no no no it's nothing did it just get faster oh no no it's getting faster hold on i'm there i'm there out of the way lady oh i'm here bit risky hitting into her when i have a bomb on my cart oh oh she didn't die oh god i got a lot of cops after me run run run run run i'm guessing going on to the sandy beach is a bad idea right i don't think the cat wheels would work too well down there i'll just hop down an alley here we go this is the spot oh what is that some sort of purple fungus i imagine that was what i was eating to make my shopping cart come alive i'm gonna eat some more i can consume it okay this is probably a bad idea but i ate it so far everything feels the same after having that mushroom and uh that worries me a little bit because now i'm getting the sense that maybe it is drugs that are causing these hallucinations and i just prolong the effect ooh a pawnshop oh sorry about that at least no cop saw it i'm gonna go up and check what's in the pawn shop finally you know my chessboard has been missing pawns for years oh wait you mean this sort of pawn shop okay a comfy bed for 10 bucks but i'd need a aluminium sheet scrap wood all right you know what i don't want anything i have like seeds and like fertilizer stuff and everything i wonder when i can start building a base to just ramp off hey i planted that bomb i mean that package i installed recycling box in your face see if it works oh wait this is my base oh and you even gave me something to recycle wow you're not so bad after all oh yes it did work okay shopping cart you're going in next just put them straight in and grind them up all right what can i do can i do a workbench yes uh where'd i put it maybe over here and now i want a simple repair kit for my pigeon coop god i thought that was another bomb for a second but here's my repair kit and i just use it on that whoa easy yay i did it you can now upgrade your pigeon skills in the pigeon cube oh that was a worthwhile repair then i really need a drink or something oh sorry sorry i wasn't looking but to be fair i had right of way that's a karting road jesus saw those people running away an onion i don't need layers i need drinks oh god that person just ran someone over then the cop did not care i think they just hate bombs oh my god what is wrong with you hold on let me get rid of some bodily fluids as well what do you think you're doing i'm doing what he's doing like you're the odd one out here well it's been fun thank you for doing something with me i don't have many friends i'm on the highway with my little shopping cart this seems like a bad idea ramping off it seems like an even worse idea but who cares i've committed now oof didn't hurt me at least oh oh can i get a drink here come and try dick's ice cream where every flavor is sweet and salty uh okay i guess i'll take that that helped a little bit your fault not mine i was merging i had my indicator on oh sorry that was my fault oh here's my friend from earlier sorry what mission you have for me now find the bullied creep okay i gotta go help my friend i'm part of the creeps by the way because i'm a creep i'm a weirdo what the [ __ ] am i doing here i don't belong here sorry i ran into them and i hit the one guy who was my ally get started oh a bit of friendly fire here oh jesus what a throw there we go that'll show you is the pigeon like unlimited or do i have to stop using him eventually like can i run out of ammo because right now it seems pretty overpowered like look at that how do you counter that we won back some respect on the streets yeah but peter's gonna come down on me hard i threw a million pigeons at them i think we're ready to show evil way that they shouldn't have messed with us really you think so we beat up a few other bombs in an alley and then you're like let's take on a mega corporation oh god i accidentally put my dna on the bodies okay i better put him in the ocean i can't put him in here can i no okay all right into the ocean you go then ah there we go weird that he didn't float he just sank like a rock oh this is how we're getting into the big evil mega corporation mr bones has just installed the new bulletproof doors and windows yeah but are they carrot proof [ __ ] yeah we just got denied this wasn't a great plan to be fair uh we could scale the building perhaps i can help what he didn't even look at me what was that why were you hiding there where did you go why is he covered in blood i'm a mad scientist not a capitalist anyways weird kind of hill to die on but you gotta respect a man with morals who sticks to them the secret art of alcohol alchemy i want you to show it to me wait you want me to make moonshine for you in exchange for your secrets not jesus aren't you a scientist shouldn't you be able to just google this or something the recipe started with a beer okay and then a pigeon right not a pigeon then no okay he doesn't fit in anyway yeah that's it okay i made this do beer for that sake i need to drink something well this is all i have it's not letting me drink my foods to beer oh god no this is just a molotov cocktail good thing i didn't drink it then each brew also has an alternative use can you demonstrate uh no i can't because i i threw them both by accident instead of one and it's not letting me move i can't i can't go over and make another one i'm stuck okay it all was saved a second ago because i need to know what it does a little bit danger close but there you go and now i can drink the next one then each brew also has an eternity oh jesus christ now i finally have something to use against the cops yeah that works well now i can defend myself oh god i got nowhere to go what about this ledge no that didn't work i died bomber but you know what i think i've had enough for now but this game is really fun it has so much more to it than i thought look at the little cop there coming down after that whole ordeal but i hope you enjoyed if you did consider subscribing i would love to have you around and remember i even made a sign for it so you kind of have to i thank you so much for watching i hope you enjoyed and i hope to see you next time bye for now [Music]

Channel: Call Me Kevin

Views: 364,581

Rating: 4.9756222 out of 5

Keywords: Call Me Kevin, Call Me, CallMeKevin, CallMe, funny, funny moments, comedy, lets play, gameplay, gaming, bum simulator, bum simulator gameplay, bum simulator gameplay pc, bum simulator steam, simulator game, bum simulator early access, bum simulator 2021, bum simulator callmekevin, bum simulator funny

Id: lVmwlMUzdv8

Length: 17min 26sec (1046 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 24 2021