Ah, Yes The Learning Channel Home to the most educational content any of us have ever seen. Yes. TLC. The Learning Channel Where everybody comes to learn. That's right, We're enriching our knowledge by watching TLC. The Learning Channel. We've learned a couple of things on The Learning Channel previously on Ethan and Hila For example, who can forget about "In Love with a Theme Park Ride" I love him for the narrowness of his jibs. I still have not forgotten about those juicy tall jibs *AHH* God, Did you see the jibs on that ride?! Just as I'm starting to go over the edge. I just tell him, "I want your fluids. I want your fluids. I want your fluids." But today We are venturing forth with Kyle that 31 year old dude who loves to poke Older women...some as old as 91 years old I don't know how they survived that I don't even know how a 91 year old consents Imagine dipping into that *ooh* Cobwebs Dust, man What's going on in there dude? spiders? shit. I don't know if I want to join them, but god damn it We're going in together. Guys? Take my hand. Walk with me My name is Kyle. I'm 31, I live in Pittsburgh, and I'm addicted to dating older women. Much older women like 60, 70, 80 year old, older women. I love everything about older women. I love the smell. I love the feel. I love the mentality. What?! Wait, how do they smell, you weirdo? I thought you were gonna say something like, "I love that they're more mature. They've been around. They've got they've got knowledge." You know what I mean? But no, this guy's like "I love the way that they smell" ... just like *sniffs in the creepiest way possible* *sighs* Alright let me grab my Vaseline cuz, I know for sure, It's not juicy down there...maybe it is juicy. What do I know? Maybe, ya know, maybe these old ladies got some juice down there that I don't know about. I love dentures. Women, you know, they can be self-conscious about dentures. Ladies, I promise you telling your man that you have dentures will not turn them off. It'll put a smile on his face. It'll put a smile in his pants. ["pants" echoing] So, you're speaking for all guys right now? You're saying that, "Ladies?" Tell your guys that you wear dentures, Cause they're gonna pop a huge one. It's gonna put a huge smile in your guy's pants. Hila, do you wear dentures? Don't be shy! All men are gonna want to fuck your mouth when you take those dentures out! That's what he's implying right? Did you ever like fuck girl with dentures in? *kowabunga sign* Same Dude no teeth Fucking insane. Ninety-one years old my doggies 91. Do you know how how here let me show you a 91 year old look at this sweet innocent Wonderful grandma that everyone loves but some people LOVE THEM A LITTLE MORE THAN OTHERS! Hila, are you sure you don't wear dentures? One website right now, and there's a lady here named Karen She absolutely has a look that I'm attracted to. She has the platinum hair. She has a great smile. She looks very pretty very, I'm interested. So I'm gonna send her email There's a lot of terms for sexy older women. There's milf, saber-tooth tiger. I've also heard cougar. My favorite term I'll probably say it would be Silver Fox because the Silver Fox relates back to the platinum hair, and that's what really turns me on Did you know he's crazy about? Gray pubic hairs when you get older the hair keeps growing and it grows in places it didn't before I don't know what that is I'm not doctor, but you can imagine when these ladies open their pants for the first time in five decades, and it's just like *poof* He probably knits that shit. He probably makes a dreadlocks of gray pubic hairs probably flosses his teeth with it afterwards I just sent email to Karen and hopefully she responds. Yeah, she's gorgeous Sex with older woman: the truth is they like it. A 68 year old woman enjoys passionate vigorous sex just as much as a 23 year old college cheerleader Vigorous vigorous vigorous, dude. No this is what I think when I think of vigorous lovemaking Dude they're fragile you can't have vigorous sex with a ninety-year-old If you breathe on a ninety-year-old wrong they'll break their hip in three places and you're slam dunking on them vigorously? These ladies don't heal like younger women, KYLE! When this guy- when Kyle has a one-night stand they call it a one-night stand because she never stands again! "Dude, I fucked her so hard she never walked again" He's like bro. She's 90. I know, I'm a beast. I met this lady online named Karen. I saw her pictures. I thought she was absolutely gorgeous, and I'm sooooo looking forward to meet her tonight I am so looking forward to her eating through a tube for the rest of her life ooh. They call me mr. One-night stand because they're only gonna stand for one more night. Ahh- They call me mr. Beep-beep-beep because afterwards they're gonna be on a life-support Karen. You made it So good to finally meet you It's a little bit nerve-wracking because Well he is so much younger than I am. I've got butterflies in my tummy that hasn't happened in so long I can't tell if this guy's doing a community service. You know in a way this lady's having a night of her life She's gonna get some Vaseline. She's gonna have a great time. He's doing God's work Nobody wants to go spelunking in that cave I guarantee it. You know. It's dark. It's dank It's a little it's a little stinky. It's a dirty job Somebody's got to do it. "such a gent. Thank you very much" So Karen showed up for dinner tonight. She looks sexy as hell with the long platinum hair . Yeah Man, I thought wow. I look at like all of these celebrity women that are going out with younger men And I thought well you know maybe I should try it. You seem to be Intelligent although I'm not gonna say that I necessarily decided to come out with you because of your mind It's fun to be able to feel like this again, you know just All excited and quivering and thinking oh, I wonder what's going to happen next I frankly never seen anything more romantic than dipping a cheese stick and marinara sauce and Offering it to your date as a bite that that honestly warms my heart And it makes me think like wow he'll what are you done for me lately? Although I do hope that she enjoys that bite of the cheese stick because after Kyle's done with her tonight and the vigorous lovemaking ahead She's probably gonna be eating from a tube Vigorous. So you've done a lot of traveling I - I've been around Would you go with like someone like me because I'm old enough to be your mother definitely may be enough to be your grandmother Depending. Oh you're pretty enough to take home, though. Oh well, thank you. You're pretty enough to take home by the way and what I mean by that is... KOBE! BOOM! Slam that pussy into the afterlife Am I good enough to travel the world with you he's like no, but you're good enough to take home tonight. Kobe I am afraid that you would drop dead if we were backpacking across the world, but I am looking forward to Increasing that speeding process and ending your life tonight when I Kobe on that ass *weird sounds* You're gonna die tonight. The date with Karen was incredible she was 100% my type I had a wonderful time with Kyle, and I've had such an amazing time. I just don't want it to end My name is Jackie. I came to visit Kyle from, Florida, and I'm hoping that he'll come back with me Baby you made it. Hey sweetie How are you? Good good good you made it. Oh ok can you take this? Yes of course but first? The weirdest part about this guy is that he's promiscuous us right he doesn't get tied down. Why would you want to commit I mean? He's probably only got like a couple of good weeks with each of them, so You don't want to get too attached right you got to just- Yeah, we didn't have a good time. I've missed you I missed you a lot my claws and nobody to go to movies with, I know bro. I'm sorry did he just call this old lady Bro, bro, I don't know why? It's just the funniest shit ever bro calling your grandma, bro. Can you imagine that grandma? Hey, bro? Can you make me a sandwich? I don't know why it's the funniest shit I ever heard even though Even when i was dating whoever and Ingrid dating whoever. We seem to always come home to each other. I miss that I miss it too miss you Bro bro Hmm Bro what do you say who are you? Well guys, I hope you had a lot of fun in the enjoy wait Yeah Right you thought that I wasn't gonna find a video clip of this guy making out with a 91 year old You know that I found it, and you know that I already beat off to it five times. Let's watch Baby face Kyle Jones has never dated a woman his own age preferring relationships with ladies more than twice as old as him Ahh there is tongue. Arghh. Didn't l remember there is tongue in it. Ah
God Ethan has fallen so far.