[Hila] What are you doing? [Ethan] I'm stretching. Hila don't take my chair. I'm doing a primal display. I'm doing a mating display Hila. Hila, I don't want to make another Jake Paul video. [Ethan Klein Cough™] [Hila] Have you seen his new video though? [Jake Paul] They all watching now, make a mistake World on me now... [Ethan] Hila, I don't wanna make another Jake Paul video! He's a dead meme, I'm sick of it! He's all what anyone makes videos about on YouTube anymore. [Hila] He made a new ''Jake-pologize' rap. [Ethan] Alright. Let's take a look at it. [Hila] So, he made a diss track about all the haters. Including yourself. [Ethan] My face is in the thumbnail and it's called "YouTube stars diss track?" He disses me in this? Well let me click this. "This isn't a diss track." But it says "diss track" in the title, and then the first sentence says it's not a diss track. And beyond that, he put "Vevo" - he put "Vevo" in the thumbnail! No, Hila! I'm not doing another Jake Paul video. I am not doing another Jake Paul video, there has to be other fresh memes on the internet. [Hila] I don't know if there are. You know the title is just suggestive. I don't know why you're getting triggered over the diss track, even though it's not a diss track. It didn't say in parentheses "This is a diss track," so you got to follow only the parentheses. You know? Like if you're saying "we're getting married" in parentheses "cute," then you know the video is cute. [Ethan] To be fair it is a Vevo official music video. [Hila] Exactly. [Ethan] NO! Forget about Jake Paul, okay? Let's get back to the classics, some weird funky dudes doing some weird funky stuff. It's a little old, it's a little spicy, but it's still fresh boi! Sifting for gold through the annals of the internet. This is a clip from the show "Virgin Diaries," which kind of proves that they'll make a show about anything. But you get a great gem like Skippy, the great 34 year old virgin. [Skippy] Would you like to know how badly I want to have sex with a girl? It's all I've been able to think about, all last night. I just like, sit there with girls sometimes on dates like "you're the cutest, you're the sweetest, you're the best! Let's cuddle; do you want to cuddle?" [Ethan] It doesn't sound like virginity rocks, by the way he's talking about how he wants to smash. [Hila] Well he's just being positive, you know. [Ethan] He's trying to own it, which is why I love skippy so much. He's a lovable guy. He's just trying to get his carrot in the soil. He's just trying to get his beet... you know, planted. [Hila] I thought it was carrot in the mayonnaise. [Ethan] He's trying to get his carrot in the mayonnaise. Do you know what I'm saying? [Skippy] Not sure if you want to go on a date with me? Well, would a t-shirt change your mind? "I made out with Skippy for three minutes, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt." "Make the world a better place, put a kiss on Skippy's face." You may be thirsty for some Skippy! "Got Skippy?" Huh? [Ethan] He's kind of a creep, but he does it in such a lovable way. Like, he's not sneaky about it. He's just like: "I'm a creep,"... [Hila] "here's my merch." [Ethan] "Here's my merch dude. Rock my merch dawg." [Hila] Those shirts... I think those shirts should get you something. [Ethan] I'm surprised those shirts aren't in like hot topic. [Hila] Yeah! [Skippy's mom] And next thing, we're going by like 'I like that one'. [Skippy] You are so weird. What are you doing? No, no. No, don't circle around me 'cause thats gonna- No don't- Ugh No just walk up and be like: 'Son, remember the girl from like, two songs ago. She was cute. Maybe you should ask her again.' [Ethan] Oh, yeah, she's the weird one Skippy! She's the weird one who you put a 'wing-mom' shirt on and are bringing her to your dates. "You're so weird Mom." Don't put the wrong shirt on your mom like "I made out with Skippy for three minutes." I wouldn't want to see that. Maybe I would. [Skippy's mom] Okay, my role is wing mom and... so I kind of, keep an eye on the ladies. [Skippy] When I meet the girl that I fall in love with, I want her and my mom to be really good friends. [Ethan] That's kind of a red flag. [Hila] Yeah, I would ditch that. [Ethan] That's it. That's your out? [Hila] No, for him, as an advice, like... [Ethan] Ditch that, not everything else. [Hila] Keep the shirts, yeah, the shirts work. [Ethan] Hila's like: "All right, I was on board, I was ready to-- I was ready to get weird and wild with the carrots and the mayonnaise with you, Skip. May I call you Skip? But once you mentioned you wanted me to be friends with your mom... you took it too far." [Hila] I'm not into carrots and mayonnaise, just for the record. [Ethan] Wish you would have told me that earlier! I've been doing horrible things to you! [Skippy's Friend] Guys, this is Skippy. [Skippy] Hi guys. I've got so much more personality than any other guy in here. Like, it's a race for number two because the... like, funniest, the... most creative guy just walked into the room. [Skippy's Friend] What is your name? [Ethan] I dunno, maybe tone that down a little bit, Skip. Big Skip. You gotta admire how confident he is, though. [Hila] I know, which is why... when I see this video, I'm kinda confused like: 34 year old, and you couldn't find anyone? [Ethan] He's super confident. [Hila] He's confident, he's got the shirts. [Skippy] You're sing-- how are you still single? [Ethan] The you-- you would think that out of like a thousand... one girl would have been like "Ehh, let's see what happens; I'll give this a shot." You know what I mean? Like, "this is kind of of an interesting life experience." [Hila] Although bringing the mom to the party kind of starting to explain. [Skippy] Wanna meet my Mom? [Ethan] You wouldn't smash skippy? [Hila] The wing-mom is not winging. [Ethan] She's de-winging. She's the de-wing mom. [Skippy's Friend] --Do certain things, I'm just like "Oh man, somebody's got to talk to this guy." I just told him, I said "Skippy, you gotta -- you got to kind of come off a little bit less... excited." [Skippy] If you do want to kiss me, my answer is yes. [Ethan] They're all like "Dude, Skippy doesn't know how to smash, but I smash like crazy." You pull the ball cap down over your eyebrows. [Skippy] If you do want to kiss me, my answer is yes, and then you can have this awesome shirt. [Woman] What if I kiss you on the cheek? [Skippy] No, no, no, no, no! It says "I made out with Skippy for three minutes." It doesn't say "I kissed Skippy on the cheek." [Ethan] He's like "no, no, no." I paid $12 for this shirt. I am not giving it out for a kiss on the cheek. Okay? It says three minutes. [Hila] Don't you feel like if it's that determined for 34 years... [Ethan] He should have smashed by now.
[Hila] something would have happened. [Ethan] I agree. I totally agree, but at the same time, I mean you know there... it's-- He makes it very hard for himself! He makes it very, very hard. If you got rid of the mom and the shirts, I think he would have -- he'd be smashing every weekend. [Woman] Want me to get that for you? Thank you. [Skippy] Oh, I should totally give you a tour. [Woman] Okay perfect. [Skippy] Welcome to my room! Here's my poster of the Osmonds, and over here is my belly button lint collection. [Ethan] That's... you know what, I'm out. [Hila] That's why. [Ethan] That explains everything all of a sudden. [Skippy] "Belly button lint collection." "Belly button lint collection." [Ethan] What the fuck is wrong with you, Skippy? [Silence except for napkin crinkling] It's like, seal the smell... you've got a twist top-- You have that on your table. You're gonna show that to her... before you eat pizza? [Hila] And he just mentioned it on TV. For the world. It almost looks like a weed jar. [Ethan] It's not dude, but he might smoke it. He might actually smoke it. Skippy, I'm ready. Skippy take me. I'm ready. Take me now Skippy! [Hila] Alright we're gonna get demonetized. [Ethan] Skippy, take me. [Hila] Cover yourself. [Ethan] Take me now, Skippy. [Ethan Klein Cough™] [Gentle guitar music with singing] [Skippy] Do you want to dance? Can we slow dance? [Woman] Sure. [Skippy] Yeah! Can I be big spoon, and you be little spoon? I like a girl that's shorter than me. I want to be able to put my arm around her and just kind of like sway at a concert. Like to me that's great, and to me that's cute. Whenever I see people doing that I'm like "Ohhh, I want to be them." [Ethan] That aggressive grab, dude! Gets in there. "Can I be big spoon?" [Distorted noises] I don't know that that's slow dancing... I just wanna see what that feels like, right? So it's like "Hey, can we slow dance?" And then it's like: [Skippy] Before I give you this, and before I walk you to the door... I really do think that I did pretty good on this date. If - maybe if I ask nicely... Can I please just give you a kiss? And sometimes you just are horny, and you just want a kiss and you want, like, some rough stuff. But not bishop, not talk to bishop rough, but you wanna kinda like: "Ahhh." [Ethan] I like how he's like, basically just begging her. [Hila] He's so honest, though. [Ethan] Yeah, you gotta love someone who-- it's like the Joey Salads theory. It's like he's a total salad head, but he's so honest about being a salad head, that he's lovable. [Skippy] It doesn't have to be giant, but can... [Woman] You can kiss me on the cheek. Does that work? [Skippy] Can I just-- can I just give you a kiss, please. [Woman] Sweety, I just-- I don't kiss on the first date. [Skippy] A guy wanting to kiss a girl shouldn't be a shock to a cute girl. It should kind of be expected, right? [Ethan] I bought you a pizza. I showed you my belly button lint. Are you seriously gonna play me like this? [Hila] Is he like-- he's like kind of annoyed. [Ethan] Yeah, he's pissed off. It's like, I wine and dined you. This was shot years ago. What's happened to Skippy? Where is he? Is he still in LA? I wanna meet him. [Hila] I wanna meet him. [Ethan] I wanna support this guy, man. I care about you, Skippy. And I can't speak for Hila, but you can fuck me. You can fuck me. I'll-- I'll sniff your belly button lint. I'll-- I'll unscrew that jar... and give it a big sniff, Skippy. Hila volunteers. [Hila] No. [Ethan] Hila volunteers, Skippy. [Hila] Uh-uh. [Silence except for napkin crinkling] [Ethan] What up, FUPer troopers? Today I'm excited to unveil a new facial hair I've been developing, in honor of our boy Skippy. It's a neck beard. It's an actual, real, neckbeard. And I gotta tell you, Hila loves it. Women love it, because it's soft and luxurious up here, but it's serious, it's manly down here. If Skippy would have just shaved all this off, and grown it here, I'm pretty sure he'd be smashing for years. And that's why I gotta recommend my dawgs, dollarshaveclub.com/h3h3 That's right, you can get this entire neckbeard starter kit, for just five dollars. That's the blade, the recharges, and that shave butter for five dollars. That's a $15 value, get outta town! Go to the link in the description. dollarshaveclub.com/h3h3 I wanna see your neckbeard pics. Tweet me your neckbeard pics, Insta me your neckbeard pics. Dude, this is the new look of the FUPer trooper nation. So, thank you to our sponsor: dollarshaveclub.com/h3h3 Pick yourself up a razor, and, you know... start slammin, am I right? Guys, thanks so much for watching. Remember to start collecting your belly button lint, put it on a mason jar by the side of the table, start shaving all this off, and you are gonna be smashing and slamming in no time. Ta-ta! [Ethan Klein Cough™]
Some of the comments are actually cringeworthy
Smh. Maybe she doesn't want to kiss a guy with a belly button lint collection?
Damn I could see daddy Ethan's balls through those tight ass shorts 😍😍😍
Hmm that's strange he should have gotten his wizard powers four years ago. Wonder what that's about.
Was waiting for this
Sucky sucky ten bucky?
getSkippylaid